


Anything you need (just knock)

by Neonbat, polarRabbit



Series: Anything you need verse [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A/B/O, Abusive ex boyfriend, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, And there was only bed, Bedsharing, Bucking also has relationship issues, Bucky has a thing for Steve's tits, Cute christmas scenes, Difficult Pregnancy, Disabled Steve, Frotting, Gilmore is an asshole, Glacial Burn, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Lactation, Lactation Kink, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Mating, Medical close calls, No cheating, No power AU, Omega Steve Rogers, Pining, Possibly emotional cheating, Poverty, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Steve Rogers, Scenting, Sick Steve, Slow Burn, Social Commentary, Steve was in an abusive relationship, Supportive neighbors, Temptation, This will be a long boi fic, breakdowns, brief fake dating, can you blame him?, chronically ill steve, definitely not accurate court proceedings, kind of a kid fic?, like so much pining, mechanic Bucky, nonconventional a/b/o/ dynamics, some hetero sex is in here too between Bucky and Dot, these two idiots, thoughts of abortion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 166,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23997025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neonbat/pseuds/Neonbat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/polarRabbit/pseuds/polarRabbit
Summary: Knocked up, kicked out, and down to his last dollars, Steve moves into a new apartment. His neighbors range from awful to decent, and then there is 108.Bucky lives with his girlfriend Dot, happy(ish), and equipped with a plan. Marriage, eventually kids, all that good stuff.  That is until an unmated, pregnant Omega moves in next door and calls all his future plans into question.After a rocky start, the pair form a friendship that gets gossip rippling through the complex. Between secrets, feelings, society, and a pissed off girlfriend, they have heaps of reasons to call it quits and wish each other the best but, that's not what friends are for. Are they?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Dolores | Dot (Captain America movies), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Anything you need verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921873
Comments: 327
Kudos: 547





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!  
> This was an rp between polarrabbit and neonbat. A long ass one, obviously haha. This is going to be beefy.
> 
> We've cleaned it up and shuffled some things around to better format it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and pay attention to the tags! I know there are a lot.
> 
> Also thank you to the amazing starlight704 who made fanart!!! Show them some love by clicking on their link below the art<3<3

  
[ **Art by _starlight704** ](https://twitter.com/_starlight704/status/1274385838479036418)

“Thanks, just put that — “ Steve flinched when the moving guy practically dropped his box of mementos.

” — there.” He sighed, waving the two surly Alphas off who hadn't stopped leering at him all day. His hand drifted to his stomach, the barely-there bump feeling so stark against his minute frame. He supposed he asked for looks like that, being what he was. 

A pregnant Omega that was obviously unmated by him having to hire a moving service he had barely been able to afford. He had no choice. Gilmore had left him high and dry, and Steve was barely keeping his job even without the pregnancy. Downsizing from an apartment across town closer to his job had been the only option. There was nowhere else to go.

He took a deep breath when he heard the door close and the men finally leave. He knelt on the ugly carpet of the small apartment and tried to keep breathing. In, and out.. He could do this. He’d lived on his own before that jackass had knocked him up and bolted, and he could do it again now. The only difference was that he was pregnant and soon there would be no ‘alone’ anymore, and he would have to figure out — 

Steve fought down the chittering terror that threatened in his chest and sucked in another watery gasp. “Enough, Rogers.” He whispered to himself and stood up. He didn’t have much, so unpacking wouldn’t exactly be hard. How long could it take?

An hour later when he lost his grip and sent the few remaining dishes he had to put away shattering to the floor. He had it.

Shoving an angry palm against his eyes he grabbed his apartment key and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Even if he just took a moment to stand in the hallway, it was better than being in there by himself with the product of his own crappy decisions to keep him company. 

The slight chill in the hall skittered up his spine, and he hung his head. He’d forgotten his jacket inside and his thin long-sleeved shirt with jeans combo wasn’t doing much to keep his lean, petite frame warm. There was no possible way in hell today could get any worse.

* * *

Bucky was gonna cook his famous lasagna tonight, arms loaded with grocery bags that contained all the ingredients and then some. Just because he didn't earn the big bucks to take his girl out for dinner in some three-star restaurant, didn't mean they couldn't have a homemade four-course-meal. Bread counted as a course, right? 

Walking up the stairs to their small apartment Bucky almost staggered when he got hit by a strong scent. Nothing that he'd smelled before and also something that shouldn't be allowed inside the building. 

Dot and he were taking scent blockers since they weren't bonded yet and didn't want to stink up the whole floor. It had been one of the conditions to get the flat in the first place, and he assumed every tenant had the same terms to sign before moving in.

Speaking of moving in, their annoying neighbor next door had just moved out and if this was supposed to be the replacement they were going to jump out of the frying pan into the fires of Mordor. Bucky started breathing through his mouth and tried to ignore the oppressive smell of cinnamon and apple cider, so sweet it made his teeth ache. Alright, he was gonna remind them of the house rules, even at the risk of leaving a bad first impression and appearing like a damn nitpicker.

He reached the third floor and immediately spotted the source of the diabetes-inducing scent, although the guy was easy to miss considering his small build.

"Hey, you the new 107?", Bucky greeted him, referring to the battered-looking apartment number.

Steve thumped his head back against the door, rubbing his right hand over the barely-there mound on his stomach. It was small enough that people could easily mistake it for being bloated or overeating, if it wasn’t for the fact that he reeked of pheromones. Being unmated as he was, his body was practically screaming for a mate. Single Omegas were rare, mainly because if one got knocked up like he did they ran to whoever would take them out of sheer terror. Society — well, it sucked. It sucked for a lot of people that way.

God he hoped he didn’t get fired once he really started showing.

He knew he smelled like desperation and sugar according to one of his more outspoken coworkers, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t take scent-blockers anymore, and he was allergic to the aerosols and stick applications. He just had to avoid busy public transit and grocery shop at strategic times if he wanted a minimal amount of hassle.

He was dimly aware of footsteps, but he was too preoccupied trying not to think about the mess in his kitchen or the fact that he still needed to put a bed frame together or else he’d be sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Then again, who did he have to impress? He could sit in his underwear and eat ice cream and no one would know. In fact, that sounded like a great idea.

Startling, he snapped his hand around from his stomach and straightened.”Uh — Yeah, I am. Steve, Steve Rogers.” He would have held out his hand if the guy’s arms weren’t laden with grocery bags. Was this guy his neighbor? He was cute, in a completely objective this-isn’t-my-hormones-talking way.

"I'm 108, Bucky Barnes. Welcome to the rabbit hole,” he introduced himself with a crooked smile. Steve didn't look like a troublemaker but Bucky had learned not to judge a book by its cover. Dot didn't seem to be the strongest person either, but could certainty verbally wipe the floor with him.

"Don't want to be a jerk, but uh- it's hard to ignore and I wanted to ask if you could start taking scent-blockers 'cause...", he never got to finish his sentence, eyes finally landing on the small bump of the Omega's stomach. Sure he could just be chubby, but it would make perfect sense if Steve was pregnant and that's the reason he couldn't take his meds.

Bucky. That...was an interesting name. But it got him. The crooked smile was cute. Steve couldn't smell any sign of what Bucky's designation was, which probably had something to do with the clause that Alphas and Omegas needed to be on scent blockers for the comfort of other residents. Betas generally didn't need to unless they had a surprising level of pheromones.

Steve's stomach dropped. Of course, that's what this was about. Why had he expected otherwise? 

His hand slid back to his stomach as if he was trying to hide it, cheeks flushing. He saw the moment of realization in Bucky's eyes, and his hurry to distance himself from the situation. So much for friendly neighbors. 

"Shit, sorry I didn't realize. Sorry, forget about it", Bucky was quick to apologize for his mistake. The option of a pregnant, unmated Omega hadn't occurred to him right away, because his mind had jumped to the most obvious explanation. Shuffling forward to his front door, Bucky put down one of the bags in favor of searching for his key. He knew he had it somewhere in one of his many pants pockets.

Hot surging indignance started to well within Steve, the product of the past few months of similar interactions. "I'll make sure not to be in the hall then since it bothers you so much." A tiny growl worked its way into his voice as he pushed off from the door.

"Nice to meet you," A burnt sugar note rooted in the Omega's scent as he tugged open his difficult door, and stomped inside, slamming it after him.

"That's not-", Bucky made an attempt to protest since that had totally not been what he wanted to say. Steve could run laps in the hallway if he felt like it. Momentarily pausing in trying to unlock the door Bucky watched the small omega retreat into his apartment, visibly angry. Great, he'd fucked up in merely three sentences, that must be a new record. 

Letting out a defeated sigh Bucky opened the door and carried his groceries inside. Maybe there's still a chance to convince his new neighbor that he wasn't a complete asshole. He'd work on that mission tomorrow because he needed to get dinner ready first. Quickly sorting the purchases into the fridge and cupboard Bucky started preparing the lasagna and once the dish was in the oven he took care of the salad and dessert.

Dot was late, nothing unusual, and Bucky patiently waited on the couch, catching up with the new GOT episodes when he finally heard the jiggle of the key in the lock. Getting up from his comfortable position to greet her Bucky plastered on a smile instead of asking her why she's running late this time. He didn't want another fight. Her work as an upcoming actress just forced her to work a lot more overtime than Bucky had expected, and he didn't see much of her anymore.

"Hey babe", he greeted her with a brief kiss, never caring if she wore lipstick.

"I made dinner, your favorite", he added with a pleased expression. 

"Oh, that's sweet of you, but I already ate", she told him with an apologetic look and Bucky had to try harder to prevent the corners of his lips from slipping downwards. 

"Do you at least want some dessert?" He'd spent the last two hours in the kitchen, the least she could do was give it a try. She seemed to pick up on his displeasure, trying to appease him by eating the dessert and praising him for the amazing taste. The words felt kinda hollow. Dot was a great actress and Bucky started to believe that he was her main audience with a ticket for the front row.

* * *

Within a few hours, it was very apparent that the walls in the apartment building were paper thin. Steve heard the unit above him stomp back and forth for a few hours. 106 was playing some the weekly top forty, barely there, but faintly discernible. 108 was — not bad, admittedly. Nothing that couldn’t just be ambient noise of the city. 

He, of course, was unpacking. The more he unpacked, the more the heavyweight in the pit of his stomach grew. He didn’t have much, just kitchen supplies, a box of clothes, and books. The furniture, scant as it was, had been provided, and he was too broke to invest in anything new, or even new-to-him. It was just a one-room apartment, so he’d have to start finding baby things to put in the bedroom, but he hoped he could put that off until he was farther along.

Who knew if he could even carry a child to term. It was an awful thought, but even he had to admit his body wasn’t ideal. Nothing worked right, and he was frankly amazed he was even fertile, considering how small he was. He’d been told the bout of high fever of his teenage years had cooked his ovaries to hell and back. But apparently not.

Shaking his head, he went to his bedroom, unaware that it shared a wall with his new neighbor’s own bedroom.

The night took far too long to end, and by the time morning rolled around, Steve felt like he was a zombie. He’d barely slept, alternating between hot and cold, and generally just feeling awful. He’d already possessed a hit-or-miss stomach, but these days he could barely keep water down in the morning. So he bypassed his small coffee pot with a morose glare and settled on his couch, still in his pajamas of fleece leggings, and baggy T-shirt picked up from Goodwill.

Weekends were for sleeping in and Bucky made sure to exploit them to the fullest, which meant by the time he finally rolled out of his blanket burrito the spot beside him was cold already, and he could hear the shower running. He needed to take a piss desperately, but Dot hated it when he used the toilet while she's in the bath, so he went for the kitchen first and prepared himself a cup of coffee.

Scratching his bare chest while he waited for the nectar of Gods to drizzle out of the small machine Bucky thought about his plans for today and tomorrow. He had to run a few errands for the garage, but afterward, there would be time for Dot and him to have lunch and maybe watch a movie. If the weather was nice they could even go to the open-air screening. He just wanted them to spend some time together outside of their shared apartment.

"Mornin' sunshine", he greeted Dot when she emerged from the bath, dressed up in a fluffy pink robe. It earned him a twitch of lips, and a muttered 'morning' in return before she disappeared in the bedroom again, probably to choose an outfit for today. Dot liked it when her clothes matched her accessories.

Using his chance Bucky went for the bathroom and by the time he's back the coffee had the perfect temperature, barely below tongue melting heath. "I thought we could go out today, try that new café you told me about", he slightly raised his voice, so Dot could hear him. 

"Maybe another time, I have an audition today."

Frowning at the statement Bucky was fairly certain she hadn't mentioned anything about another audition this weekend before, not even the other night. Not that he didn't believe her just...she used to tell him about her appointments.

"Alright...let's have dinner then", he suggested, since they still had plenty of lasagna left. "I'll text you when I'll be back, hun", she assured him, which didn't really make his chest expand with excitement. 

After a short breakfast together Dot left the flat. He hadn't made any plans with friends, assuming that he'd spent some quality time with his girlfriend and now it was probably too late to call him, and he didn't want to crash anyone's plans. Well, he still had an angry neighbor to appease, so maybe he's gonna bake a little something.

Two hours later he knocked on 107's door, holding a plate of fresh cookies because sugar solved most problems.

Steve shuffled out of the bathroom, breath freshly minty and the remains of his pitiful breakfast flushed down the toilet. He should probably go to the doctor about the extreme nausea, but that required money. He made too much to get government support, which was hard as hell for Omegas to get anyway. People just assumed Omegas would always have someone to take care of them. That was the natural order of things, the archaic version, but people still held out on tradition. Steve hated it. He wasn't some wilting flower that needed someone to constantly take care of him. He'd survived this long by himself.

And of course the moment he'd let his guard down, he was stuck pregnant, alone, and puking up scrambled eggs and coffee. 

He'd finished cleaning up the remains of his breakfast when he heard the knock on the door. Who? No one knew where he lived yet. He didn't have anyone to tell! He needed to change things over at work, and other than that, there were no other people that would even care where he was.

He shoved a hand through his unruly dark blond hair, snagged his navy jacket from the back of the couch to throw on, and eased towards the door. Maybe he should ask the Super to install more locks. That was a reasonable request for an Omega to make, right?

Even on his tip-toes, he couldn't reach the peep-hole to look out, so he just opened the door, hoping he wasn't about to get murdered or worse. The scent of sugar hit him first, and he swallowed, thankful he'd already barfed up everything in his stomach, or he might have made an even worse impression on his new neighbor than he already had. 

Steve blinked, still looking dozy-eyed and disheveled. "Hi?" The hell was his scent-sensitive neighbor doing here?

"Hey, hope I didn't wake you up", Bucky greeted back, regarding his neighbors' tired-looking state. "I wanted to apologize for how things went yesterday and hope we can have a fresh start?" He continued while holding out his peace offering. By now he couldn't even smell the cookies anymore due to Steve's rich scent masking anything else.

Dot had already complained about it, although Bucky was pretty sure her nose wasn't as sensitive as his own. Honestly, Bucky was just grateful the guy didn't smell like watermelons because then he'd really have to hold his breath and seal his flat.

"If you need help with the furniture or need to borrow something you can stop by. Dot and I are both working full time, but we're usually around in the afternoon." With that said Bucky had everything off his chest and if this still wasn't enough then so be it. He didn't have to befriend all of his neighbors and so far only had problems with the previous 107.

Fuck this guy for looking so good at — What time was it? Steve didn't have to be into work til later, but he should probably glance at a clock at some point.

He tentatively took the cookies as if he was taking a plate of semi-drugged cockroaches he expected to leap out at him at any moment. "Thanks," It was nice, too nice, he just wished he could appreciate it at the moment. He would probably eat them all in the middle of the night in between bouts of feeling sorry for himself and hating Gilmore's guts, but he didn't want to think about that either.

"I'm sorry for yelling," He ducked his head lightly, feeling like an idiot for getting so easily flustered. More than usual at least.

The offer sharpened his sleepy eyes, peering up at Bucky through the strands of his wild hair."I'm fine," He stated emphatically, a bitter note sweeping through the sugar-cinnamon of his natural scent. 

For all of four seconds, that is. Almost immediately he blanched and sighed,"I mean, thanks, I'm just, The move..." He shook his head,"It's nice of you to apologize. You probably didn't sign up for all this," He gestured vaguely to his person,"To move in next to you."

His voice was surprisingly deep for a man of his stature and designation, but it matched more with his sharp eyes and dark brows more than it did with his waifish body type.

Wow, Bucky had never seen someone less thrilled about a plate of cookies. They didn't look like much, but it was about the taste, and they definitely weren't poisoned. Bucky had tried the batter, he should know.

"It's fine, I get why you felt attacked." His statement had left room for interpretation and since Steve didn't know him, he'd taken it the wrong way. Bucky wasn't stupid enough to point out that pregnancy could mess up one's emotions, because he wasn't the one being pregnant or ever going through something similar.

Talking to the omega felt like running through a minefield and so far Bucky had taken the wrong step twice if the change in smell was anything to go by.

"You have big shoes to fill if you wanna compete with the douchebag who lived here before", Bucky remarked with a snort.

A smile cracked Steve’s lips, and he chortled."I can guarantee you, no parties." He smirked slightly. 

"I was one frat party away from pushing him down the stairs and making it look like an accident", he joked, or was he? Truth to be told Bucky wasn't a ray of sunshine if he didn't get at least six hours of sleep, and he'd been told that grumpiness wasn't a flattering look on him.

Slowly, Steve's shoulders relaxed the longer he talked to Bucky. He didn't think his neighbor was a bad guy after all, but maybe he was just hopeful. Someone that went out of their way to bake cookies for their hormonal pregnant neighbor couldn't be all bad, right?

He chewed on the inside of his lip a moment before stepping aside,"Um, you can come in if you want, not much in here, but made for an easy move." His smirk deepened as he set the plate on the kitchen island, glad to be away from the vanilla-chocolate scent of what were probably delicious cookies. 

"You get a free pass for your birthday.", Bucky commented with an equally amused smile. "More space to fill and decorate, right?" He decided to see the more positive aspects of the spare furniture. His own space was overflowing with by now and it was partly Bucky's fault for being unwilling to part with personal items and stuff he'd started collecting at some point.

Steve managed to suppress his chagrin. Barely. Why bother filling or decorating? It was just going to be him, Gilmore had seen to that when he'd made them move. God that had been stupid, but he'd had so many ideas in his head. Stupid, foolish ideas that were more geared towards his hormones than his brain. Christ, his mother had warned him about this very thing and-- No no, he couldn't start thinking about his mother right now, or he was guaranteed to cry, and he loathed crying.

"I noticed the walls of this place ain't exactly soundproof, I guess the person that was here before was a pain? I'm pretty sure whoever is above me practices tap dancing at night or wrestled elephants." Unconsciously, his hand drifted back to his stomach, hidden under the layers of baggy clothing that swung around him like a wraith's robes.

"Oh yeah, that's Mike. He participates in dance tournaments, but unfortunately, he isn't very light-footed. The old 107 loved electro music and made you feel like you're living in a damn club. Don't get me wrong I like celebrating and getting on the dance floor, but I'm not in my early twenties anymore. I need my beauty sleep, hell I could go back to taking naps again." 

Bucky loved his job, even if it wouldn't make him rich anytime soon and his back feeling sore after spending half of his day under the hood of a car. The garage had been a dream he'd fulfilled himself with a few of his closest friends. He was his own boss, and he liked not having to take anyone's orders.

"Dance tournaments huh?" That explained it. Great. Steve really hoped this Mike guy would have mercy on him once this baby came around, or else no one in the building was going to be getting any sleep.

"I'm a champion napper, trust me, got the gold and everything." Steve hoped Bucky didn't find him rude for folding himself upon his corner of the beat-up couch, but he was exhausted from not sleeping and spending most of his morning hovering over the toilet bowl losing every meal he'd eaten since birth. He had to get something down to take his medications on before he went in, or else he'd faint again and that usually ended with panic and a lecture about being responsible. His boss was just itching for any reason to fire him at this point, but thankfully the Omega Job Security Act was still going strong and as long as it was just because he was pregnant and unmated, his job was safe. For now at least.

"What an honor to meet you. Guess I still have a lot to learn. I'm just bad at falling asleep again once I've been awake." And that's how Bucky spent too many nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling and waiting for his alarm to go off.

Bucky chose to keep standing, letting his gaze wander without making it look like an inspection. "That Ikea?", he asked curiously regarding the heap of bed frame in progress. "Don't tell anyone 'cause it'd totally ruin my rep as mechanic, but it took me three shelves to decode those manuals. I think I'd have been less confused if I hadn't looked at them and just wing it." By now he'd figured it out, but he'd reached a point where he was three seconds away from throwing the whole abstract construct out of the window. 

Steve blinked, a little taken aback by how much of a talker Bucky was turning out to be. It was a nice change of pace, considering most people did a hard swerve around him once they realized he was pregnant. As if they could catch his bad luck. It only took a good sniff to realize he was unmated, and he didn't even have the stink of a proud Alpha on him. Most pregnant Omegas didn't take scent blockers, and the sticks and aerosols did a good job cutting out the worst of it but you could only ask so much from over the counter crap. People knew a happy partnered Omega when they saw one, and he wasn't it. 

"Honestly, fuck Ikea and the horse they rode in on." He snorted, shorting a baleful glare at the jumbled mass seen through his open doorway. He'd just given up, threw his sheets on his floor-mattress, and called it a night last night. It looked awful, but he was way past the point of caring. 

"This is the first step of Sweden taking over...anyway, you have a name for them already?", Bucky switched the topic, not wanting to sound like a paranoid nutcase. Surely every pregnant parent enjoyed talking about their future child. Bucky had of course where the other father of the baby was, but wasn't insensitive enough to ask out loud. They barely knew each other and Steve didn't owe him any answers.

Steve was close to ranting to Bucky on his other Ikea adventures when the question up and smacked him in the face. Before he could stop it, a flood of pepper, wet dirt and sour notes flooded into his scent.

"...I.." His fingers curled loosely over his stomach, and he forced himself calmer,"No, I'm only five weeks. Plenty of time." He offered a brittle smile, trying not to look like he was as close to losing it as he felt. He was doing the best he could and it still didn't feel like enough.

A sudden contamination of Steve's clean smell, almost made Bucky scrunch up his nose in distaste. Alright, apparently they weren't gonna talk about the baby either.

"Right", he gave a small nod, wondering if it was for the best if he was leaving and stop making the poor thing any more uncomfortable. The situation made it painfully clear that he wasn't as good at comforting people as he'd assumed.

"Should head out before rush hour. You know my apartment number if you need backup for the next battle against Sweden.", he made sure to remind Steve that his offer was still standing and that this wasn't him scramming.

Shit, Steve done it again and now it was awkward. People weren’t used to interacting with Omegas like him. Omegas were supposed to be happy they were pregnant, not daydreaming about flinging themselves off the nearest bridge. As if, but the fantasy was still there.

"Have a nice day", Bucky wished him goodbye for now, seeing himself to the door, because he didn't need Steve to get up for him when he'd just settled down. This could've been worse, but also better. Maybe his cookies would do a better job at cheering the omega up than him.

He held up a hand as Bucky took a quick retreat, muttering a quiet ”Thanks” before the door shut. The tiny apartment felt cavernous again, bare walls and shelves with only books. He had a few pictures to put up, of a life he’d left behind, but he hadn’t had the energy to put them up yet. 

Maybe he could catch a nap before work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to try and update every Sunday :)

Two days went by and Steve barely made a peep in his apartment, aside from being up at all hours of the night. At least he tried to be quiet about it since the walls were so thin.

He did a good job of trying to stay inside and not linger in the hallways for everyone’s sake, but around eight that night, he was forced to throw his window and door open to air out the catastrophic attempt to make dinner when his head and heart just weren’t in it.

He’d spaced so hard he’d burned the one-sheet bake in his oven to lumps of coal, and the smell was quickly killing what little appetite he had. If it wasn’t for his cravings for pudding, pretzels, and Bucky’s cookies, he doubted he would have eaten the past couple days.

He heaved a deep breath from his window, groaning low. That was fifteen bucks and two days worth of food down the drain. He’d nodded off the moment he was comfortable.

“Fuck my life,” Steve grumbled, glaring out over the New York landscape as if it had personally offended him.

Bucky didn't make another attempt to bond with his new neighbor over the following days. He didn't want to be pushy, the guy had enough on his plate as it was and Bucky had a life of his own. Including a girlfriend that made a habit of showing up late. They managed to have dinner on Sunday, and she'd assured him she'd be back earlier on Monday, but Bucky didn't buy it until he’d see her standing in the doorway.

He'd returned from work around an hour ago, taken a quick shower, and started making dinner preparations when the stinging scent of smoke seeped through the gaps of the front door. They'd a small fire in the building before, which ended with the fire department showing up and fortunately, no one had gotten hurt or lost their apartment.

Abandoning the two pots on the stove Bucky snatched up his phone and keys before leaving the flat, wanting to find out where that smoke was coming from.

The source was 107 with the door wide open and Bucky crossed the distance in a few strides, coughing when accidentally inhaling some smoke.

"Steve?", he called out, not sure if the Omega was still inside. The smell of smoke was overpowering as soon as he set foot in the flat. He just hoped he didn’t find Steve laying crumpled on the floor.

"Steve?" There's more smoke coming from the kitchen, yet he couldn't see any flames, which was a good sign. Probably just burned food, nothing irreplaceable.

In through his nose, out through the mouth. That was about as good as the internet could get him on nausea cures. Steve’s stomach was sensitive to ginger tea, though he was drinking peppermint like he got paid. All other remedies had amounted to jack shit. He really, really didn't want to end up puking all over the fire escape, but he guessed it beat the alternatives.

One alternative being his well-meaning neighbor coming in to see how big of an idiot he'd been.

"H-here...just...trying not to puke out the window." Steve waved weakly from across the living room, very aware he was in a blue-and-white combo of pretty much the same thing he had on the last time Bucky had seen him.

Two out of three times he'd seen his neighbor shouldn't be in pajamas. His mother would be rolling in her grave if she knew he looked anything less than put together when meeting strangers. Even when they didn't have two pennies to rub together, his Ma always managed to make them look smart. She could do anything with a needle and thread. He'd learned, sure, but not enough to bother when Walmart had five-dollar deals and Goodwill existed.

Bucky felt relief when Steve made himself known, although he looked rather pale upon closer inspection. Not that he was sporting a tan in general, but yeah he looked about as sick as he probably felt after inhaling all of that smoke while also feeling the side effects of his pregnancy.

"'s fine..I fell asleep," Steve turned his head briefly back into the apartment and immediately regretted it. Please god, don't let him look this pathetic in front of his hot neighbor. It wasn't fair.

He swallowed hard, managing to steel himself, and stayed hovering next to the window. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt your night."

"You didn't interrupt anything, I just started cooking myself. Hey why don't you come over until your place has aired out?", he offered, coming to a halt beside Steve at the window. The view was nice if you're into being surrounded by skyscrapers, or an ornithologist with an interest in pigeons.

“I’ll be fine, I just need to — “ Steve made another mistake thinking things had dissipated enough for him to breathe inside the apartment.”Ohgod,” He turned right back to the window and promptly retched. Thankfully, nothing as in his stomach that was large enough for his body to try and expel it. A glass of water and a cookie were apparently safe food.

Slightly grimacing at the retching noises Bucky's worries instantly doubled. If he were still a teenager with troubles to control his instincts he would've been by Steve's side by now and rub his back until the smell of rotting fruits was gone. As it was he stayed in the doorway, trying to give Steve the space he needed and waited for his final decision. He wouldn't force him to come along, even if he thought it's the better option.

“S-sorry..it’s...it’s the burnt sweet potato. Apparently,” He smirked despite the pain of his body is more of an asshole than usual. His entire scent blared ‘Omega in Distress’ and he didn’t even care anymore.

"Why didn't the smoke detector make any noise?" The question had just occurred to him now, but every apartment should have them. Squinting at the ceiling Bucky could see that there's a small device attached to it, yet the tiny lamp didn't blink, which meant the battery was empty and needed to be replaced.

"Do you have spare batteries?"

Steve took in a few more steadying breaths before turning back to Bucky. Once again, his new neighbor was being too-nice and Steve felt awful for having the man rush over, but that didn’t mean he was a quivering little Omega that needed someone to rescue him.

Satisfied that he wasn’t going to puke, he leaned up enough to cross his arms over the window seal. ”No batteries. Haven’t thought about it — or...noticed it. Vertically challenged,” He guessed most people would notice the absence of a blinking light on their ceiling, but he was never at a vantage point to see it.

“If..if it’s still okay with you, I’d really like to not be here until my fuck-up smells less like me puking.”

Bucky was pretty sure they had a bunch of batteries in their knick-knacks drawer, and he's already putting it on his mental to-do list to replace the ones in the detector, just in case, there'd be a real fire someday.

"No problem." I could use some company,” Bucky thought to himself, but like hell, he'd admit that out loud, especially in front of his new neighbor.

Leading the way out of the smoker Steve's flat had become Bucky hadn't even bothered to lock his own door, which he pushed open to let Steve in, then closed before the smoke could spread in his apartment as well. Just to be safe he opened the window of the living room too, then quickly checked up on his food. He'd cooked on low heat, so the sauce was fine.

Steve held his breath and practically fled towards the door and after Bucky. He held it until he stepped into Bucky’s apartment before heaving a grateful sigh. The air within Bucky’s apartment was crisp and clean, and still frustratingly void of secondary scent markers. During the day when he worked, it wasn’t so bad, he was surrounded by outside stink and the symphony of secondary scents, but the apartment was a black hole. He’d never cared about people’s scents before, but now that his body was craving it, he just wanted to bury his head into someone’s shoulder and scent for all he was worth —

Rousing himself from the odd hormonal lapse, Steve carefully sat down, conscious that he was probably stinking up Bucky’s apartment worse than the lingering smoke polluting the hallway. He hoped the woman he’d heard over here(girlfriend, wife?) didn’t get angry about it.

"Take a seat, I can make you tea or bring you a glass of water?", Bucky offered his guest. The only occasion he was willing to enjoy a cup of tea was during that one cold he managed to catch every autumn, so there wasn't a lot of variety, only a single bag in the last corner of the kitchen cupboard.

“Water, please,” Steve said in a grateful sigh, voice a little raspy from the smoke. He fished into his pocket to pull out his inhaler, using only one puff where he normally would have done two or three. Pregnancy was hell on his body, and it felt like no system was being spared.

"Here", Bucky handed Steve a glass with filtered water from the fridge, briefly glancing at the inhaler, but didn't comment on it. He knew that those were used to treat asthma, that's all he needed to know, and as long as Steve's was still working everything was fine.

Steve downed half the glass in a handful of seconds, dehydrated from once again spending most of his morning alternating between risking food and losing said food. The filtered water was pretty much heaven considering he never had the cash to spend on water filters or one of those fancy pitchers. Tap water probably wasn't best for the baby, but he didn't have many other options. He was barely making it as it was.

"Guess your stomach is too upset for any more food?" Bucky had made enough for four people, and he didn't expect Dot to show up any time soon, or rather her dining out wasn't really a problem to share with Steve. The Lil guy didn't look like he ate a lot in general despite the small curvy of his tummy.

Steve’s cheeks flushed at the offer of food, a small burst of fresh-baked bread threading into his scent. Mentally he knew Bucky was just being a nice, caring neighbor, but his Omegahood felt protected right now and the offer of food was translating into ‘providing’ and he really wished he could stop taking a backseat to his goddamn hormones right now.

Bucky was reminded to breathe through his mouth again when Steve's scent added another layer that reminded Bucky of his favorite bakery two blocks away. He couldn't help the way Steve's smell affected him, but that didn't mean he had to act on it and bury his face into Steve's scent glands to breathe in some more. His own scent was so watered down thanks to the blockers that Steve shouldn't be able to have any read on his emotions and the small thrill of satisfaction that came with taking care of the Omega.

“Oh, no, that’s really nice but I couldn’t — “ Then, of course, his traitorous stomach had to kick up with a moody growl, as if he hadn’t tried to eat all day, but oh no, it had to pick the worst time possible to decide it had an appetite.

His face flushed darker,” It’s...kind of a hit or miss.” He explained sheepishly, and apparently his stomach was all for more of Bucky’s cooking.

"I'm not taking it personally if you can't keep it down.", Bucky assured with a smile, pulling out two bowls from the shelf and filling them up.

"There's cilantro in the sauce.", he added as a small warning, since it was the kind of herb not everyone liked or was used to. Taking a seat opposite of Steve, Bucky picked up his fork and started twirling the spaghetti.

As soon as Steve was handed the bowl his scent thickened so much that even he noticed it," Sorry — I'm not used to.. I've always been on suppressors you know? I don't know how naturalists do it," He sighed, cheeks pink knowing he was invading Bucky's space with his happy Omega scent. There were people that never used any kind of scent-dampeners and just let it all 'hang out' and he had no idea how people dealt with broadcasting so loudly. He was too emotional to enjoy having his feelings translating through his scent at the drop of a hat.

"Don't worry, I can handle it. I'm taking the bus every day, I'm used to all kinds of scents." And you smell wonderful. Bucky mentally kicked himself just for having that thought. At least his brain to mouth filter was still functioning, and he hadn't just thrown it straight at Steve's face. That would've been a completely new level of awkwardness.

"I've tried suppressor, but they gave me awful mood swings...the scent-blockers work much better." That meant he was still going through ruts a few times a year, but it was bearable as long as you had a partner to share it with.

Despite being ravenous Steve took a moment to calm himself down, trying to reign in his emotions and his scent into acceptable levels by taking a few deep breaths.

All of that was instantly ruined by the first bite of pasta, and a low rumbled purr of pleasure built in Steve's throat before he could stop it. With how deep his voice naturally was his Omega-noises sounded close to that of a big cat's, little rumbles that shivered through his small body.

"You're a really good cook," Steve said after another bite, "I'm halfway through the cookies, by the way, so you know I'm not stealing your plate." He smiled, looking more at ease than he had in the few interactions between them so far.

"Thank you, glad you like it.", Bucky gratefully accepted the praise, all while telling himself that it was just the food that filled him with a sudden wave of warmth. Steve's scent mixed with those pleased noises he uttered made it almost impossible for Bucky to actually taste his meal, but he wasn't going to complain.

Steve’s shoulder slowly lowered from around his ears. It was a lot like luring a semi-feral cat to a saucer of milk and waiting for it to look your way without bolting. Except this cat had a fifty-fifty chance of either running off or biting the hand that fed it.

Bucky — Bucky seemed like a good guy. There weren't many people who would help an unmated pregnant Omega from the stigma alone. He was used goods, and damaged on top of it. He was underweight, too small, and had too many health issues to be considered a good Omega. People saw him and considered him low-bred. Subclass. He’d heard ‘No wonder your Alpha left you! Look at you,’ more times than he could count. Not that he cared. He didn’t need a goddamn Alpha to live his life. He had this handled. Ish. But he wasn’t struggling just because he was an Omega!

"I know where you live.", Bucky pointed out with a small chuckle, not too worried about the potential loss of a plate. Taking another bite his head turned upon hearing the front door getting unlocked. Oh, look who's gracing them with her presence. Immediately feeling guilty for the bitterness of his thoughts Bucky swallowed down the noodles, just about to greet his girlfriend.

"What's that smell, Bucky?", she asked from the hallway.

The new voice threaded a small amount of anxiety into Steve’s scent, tangy among the warm spice. He’d heard the girlfriend’s voice through the walls before, but somehow meeting her made him edgy.

"Steve had a little kitchen accident, so I've invited him over for dinner", he informed her. Bucky could pretty much hear the gears turn in her head, trying to remember who Steve was. Of course, Bucky had mentioned their new neighbor before, but that didn't mean much.

"Oh alright..." Dot entered the kitchen, a real looker in the dark green dress she's wearing with her makeup on point like usual. "Hello, Steve, nice to finally meet you as well. I'm Dolores.", she introduced herself to Steve with a slightly reserved smile.

And she was a real sight. Pretty and dolled up fine, like a girl out of a magazine. It wasn’t all that surprising, considering how attractive Bucky was. The two could step into a fashion blog and Steve would have liked and reposted.

His bare toes curled against the floor, feeling even gawkier and out of place. “Nice to meet you, sorry for the — “ He gestured towards the hallway with a smile, trying not to take the expression on Dot’s face as anything but what it was. Maybe that’s just the way she smiled.

He usually got up to shake hands with someone like his Ma had taught him, but considering he was still a little shaken from nearly setting his oven on fire and — well, he didn’t want to contaminate Dolore’s hand with his scent. The apartment would already smell like him until they sprayed a room-neutralizer, he didn’t want to do any more damage. He imagined that the green dress needed to be dry-cleaned.

"You wanna join us?", Bucky asked her, placing down his fork. He could tell that Steve was a bit nervous, Bucky had been nervous too when approaching Dot for the first time, mentally preparing himself to get turned down when asking her for a dance.

"Sure, I could eat something", Dot agreed, letting Bucky fetch her a serving while she set down her handbag and took the chair beside her boyfriend.

"Did you manage to settle in a bit already? Where did you live before you came here?", she asked Steve curiously, wanting to find out some more about their new neighbor. She could feel a slight pounding along her temples, the first signs of a forming headache and honestly, she wouldn't be surprised if it was caused by that overly sweet scent Steve was emitting like a honey trap. How Bucky could stand it was beyond her.

Bucky had gotten up from his seat and prepared another bowl, only filling it halfway since he knew Dot wasn't a big eater, but at least she was giving his meal a try this evening. He let her take over the conversation, continuing to eat while closely listening. Bucky couldn't tell why, he hardly knew Steve, but he wanted for Dot to like the Omega, which to be honest wasn't very likely.

There's no reason to doubt his faithfulness, he'd never once hit on an Omega since they'd started dating, would never think of cheating on her, yet she seemed to be worried that he was turning into some mindless sex demon when he was surrounded by them for too long. That's how he ended up losing contact with the few Omega friends he had during college. He'd won Dot's heart tho, so it seemed worth having a couple of friends less.

Steve should have put actual clothing on instead of lounge clothes. Made sure his hair was better brushed. Done so many things to make him feel like he wanted to pull his extremities into his shirt like a turtle until he felt less like he was being pinned by Dot’s pretty eyes.

Steve didn’t use to be like this, and that just pissed him off. Gilmore had — Gilmore had done a lot, he guessed. He’d been the kind of Alpha his Ma had warned him about. The kind that acted all sweet until they got what they wanted. Steve had never understood what an Alpha like Gilmore had seen in him, and he’d certainly gotten his answer in the end. He’d been nothing but a live-in hole to fill.

“Yep, all cozy.” Steve was good at this part, being scuffed and worn and still projecting an air of ‘alright’.”I um, used to live over in Manhattan.” He knew what that sounded like too. Manhattan wasn’t cheap. It was easy enough to connect the dots. He’d tucked himself under an Alpha with money, got knocked up, dumped, and left to hoof it back to Brooklyn.

Now that Dot was here, Steve wasn’t very interested in finishing what was left of his food. His scent had shifted from a contented fire-side warmth to the slightly staticky air before a storm, a strange undercurrent to the otherwise syrupy glow of his natural scent.

"Guess that must've been a real downgrade, but hey anything’s better than Jersey", Dot replied cheerfully before taking a bite of her dish. She was lucky she had a boyfriend who didn't set the kitchen on fire or insisted on living on fast food. He hadn't even complained when she introduced him to smoothies and water filters. Of course, they still had a few cans of beer in the fridge, but relationships were about compromises, that's what her mother told her like a broken record.

A slightly bitter edge curled at the tips of Steve's grin,"Nah, grew up nearby." He hid a moment in his water glass, trying not to dwell on how much of an adjustment it had been to first move to Manhattan, then back here. He'd been used to living day by day, just struggling, then Gilmore had swept in and everything had been so different that he was just trying to get back to his old stasis these days.

Bucky, who'd already finished his bowl, got up from his chair to give Steve a refill of water, not wanting his guest to go home thirsty. "I know you just moved in, so you didn't get the invitation, but the community of this building has a big barbecue every year to get together and stuff. It's next week, you should come by if you aren't busy", he told him upon seeing the bright yellow flyer hanging on the fridge as a reminder.

Bucky usually volunteered to be one of the grill chefs. He didn't mind the smoke and heat and definitely enjoyed the smell of sizzling meat. He did something similar with his co-owners from the garage in their backyard, but this event was a lot smaller and more private.

Looking up, Steve was all too glad to have someone distract him from Dot. He didn't think she was being ill-intentioned or anything, but it was hard to answer questions about himself in general. Especially now.

"Oh, that's nice, I think it's pretty neat when apartment buildings do things like that. Like a community." It would be nice to meet some more of his neighbors, socialize for once. He'd been so secluded in the condo he'd barely interacted with anyone outside of the grocery or errands.

Except... Steve placed a hand on his stomach, considering. Maybe going wasn't such a good idea. People tended to have strong opinions on Omegas like him, and not being able to wear scent-blockers would definitely curl noses. If he went he had no doubt he'd be a key subject for gossip.

"Hopefully I won't be working," He supplied instead, leaving himself an out. If no one, especially the Super, hadn't told him about the barbecue maybe they didn't want him there.

"It won't really start off before 6pm anyway.", Bucky remarked since he couldn't leave work too soon either. He's just going to knock on Steve's door and see if he was willing to come along. Arriving with some company might make him less nervous about meeting all those new faces.

On that note, this apartment should be aired out enough by now he could get back. Leave the couple to their peace. "I should probably get out of your hair, thanks for the help, and food." He added with a sheepish smile as he stood up, looking a little more steady on his feet than he did before. "Can I help with the dishes?" It felt rude to just eat and run and let Bucky deal with the cleanup.

"No problem!" Bucky wouldn't have said anything if Steve had wanted to stay around a bit longer either, but he didn't want to keep him from anything. "Definitely not, you're our guest.", Bucky declined with a short puff.

Steve's nose scrunched like he was going to argue about the dishes, but he let it go, considering he didn't want to be on his feet that long anyway. His ankles tended to swell at the drop of a hat these days, and he loathed standing in one spot for more than a minute or two, which is probably how he'd set his dinner on fire to start with.

"Wait, batteries.", Bucky remembered Steve's defective smoke detector. Getting up as well Bucky rummaged through the drawer until he found a couple. "I can put them in for you, it'll only take a minute", he assured Steve.

"Be right back", the statement was directed at his girlfriend before he picked up the ladder from their little supply closet and made his way toward Steve's apartment. There's no way he'd risk Steve falling off that thing, hurting himself and the baby.

Steve’s eyes widened a little when Bucky produced a ladder, "Oh you really don't, that's...that's really nice of you." He couldn't really refuse, he did need the smoke detector on because of the baby, but he still felt awful that Bucky was going out of his way so much for him. Returning notes of content, protected Omega leaked into his scent, even if he'd wanted to keep that scent on lock-down in front of Bucky's girlfriend. He still didn't know the two's secondary sex, but he wasn't going to take any chances. Considering Bucky openly admitted to being on scent blockers, he probably wasn't a Beta. If either one of them were Alphas or Omegas, he'd already polluted the area.

He stood, aiming a small smile at Dot. "It was nice to meet you," He hoped. He still wasn't sure if the women liked him or just tolerated him, but at this point, he'd take either one.

"You too Steve, see you around", Dot bid Steve farewell, before getting up from her seat to open the windows from the lingering scent of their guest.

Steve’s apartment had the lingering scent of burnt food, but the smoke had cleared, and he didn't immediately want to vomit, so that was a plus.

"I don't know why they can't put smoke detectors somewhere else except fifty feet up on the ceiling," He grumbled as they stood under the smoke alarm. Steve was glaring at the device as if it had personally wronged him. "Would wall-detectors really be that bad?"

"It's obviously to give short people a hard time.", Bucky agreed with Steve's rant, a grin tugging on the corners of his lips. It wasn't just a short people thing considering that he had to use the ladder too. Switching the batteries within a minute he climbed down again and folded up the ladder, old batteries safely tucked into his pants pocket.

"There you go, but let's not test it anytime soon", he remarked with a playful wink, adjusting his hold on the ladder.

"Alright, I'm gonna get out of your hair now, have a good night", he wished his new neighbor, stubbornly ignoring the shift in Steve's scent, how he almost seemed....sad that Bucky was leaving. The smell had changed so often during the last hour that it was starting to feel like a roller coaster ride for his brain.

Exiting the apartment Bucky returned to his own, putting the ladder away. The kitchen table had been cleaned up, and he's about to suggest watching a movie together when Dot crossed the space between them to surprise him with a kiss that had too much tongue involved to count as a mere affectionate gesture.

"Wow, what's that for?", Bucky asked breathlessly, but definitely not complaining. It took him a bit too long to remember the last time she'd devoured his mouth like that, nothing he's willing to admit out loud.

"For always making dinner and being a supportive boyfriend. You need any more reasons?"

"Oh, I wouldn't mind a few more. What about my great singing voice?"

"Shut up, you ruin the moment."

"You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off youuu." Bucky started serenading her, quickly getting silenced by another kiss they both smiled into. Fine, he could continue this song under the shower some other time. They started to shed their clothes in the living room, leaving a trail of fabric along the floor, leading to the bedroom where they fell into bed together.

Steve didn’t get much sleep that night either, though this had nothing to do with the dull cramp that formed in his lower back when he laid down. The paper-thin walls did nothing to stifle the sounds of his neighbors. What’s worse, is that he now knew both of them and it was easier to put a face to the sighs and groans.

And God did his baser instincts hate it. He was supposed to have an Alpha to curl around him and nibble at the mating bite that was supposed to be against his neck. Gilmore had always been very careful to bite him everywhere but over the gland in his neck that would bind their scent receptors together. A gland that ached and shot bursts of tingling pain when he turned his neck in moments like these.

He wanted that. Wanted the warmth of another person and the assurance that he wasn’t alone in this.

And he hated that he wanted it.

Growling, he shoved headphones over his ears and went to the couch, doggedly ignoring the ache of his arousal as he settled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for incoming bonding & saucy time ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

Saying things were awkward the next few days were an understatement. Steve dropped off the plate before work, thankful he had an excuse to hurriedly duck away. He saw Bucky a scant few times leading up to the barbeque, and only glimpsed Dot once. 

The day of the barbeque rolled around, and he was sure Bucky would rescind the invitation. He still hadn’t received a formal one, so he assumed that said volumes.

Still, he changed out of his boring work clothing that pinched his growing stomach, and into a long dark blue sweater that was clearly made for someone taller than him, since, while fitted to his small body, it still came down to his thighs. Paired with jeans and tennis shoes, he felt a bit like a suburban mom, but these were all the clothes he had. Clothing Gilmore had enjoyed him in. 

Chewing on his lip, he hovered in the kitchen, staring at the massive pot of potato leek soup he’d made, just in case. It was his mother’s recipe, and even if he didn’t end up going he’d have plenty of food for the next week. It was cheap, easy, and something that still smelled delicious even with his finicky stomach.

Bucky didn't cross paths with Steve for a while, which wasn't unusual, considering that he didn't see most of his neighbors on a daily basis. Upon getting his plate back Bucky tried to talk Steve into his latest batch of brownies, a test run for the BBQ, but he declined. Maybe chocolate wasn't his favorite. His friends and coworkers inhaled them with vigor, so they passed.

Scrubbing his hands clean from black oil stains and dirt, Bucky hadn't heard anything from Dot yet, assuming that she'd arrive fashionably late to the party. Bucky didn't want to wait until then, and changed his clothes. His outfit choice was casual, considering that it would smell like smoke by the end of the day and splatters of grease might end up on it. That's why he went with a black, sleeveless shirt and blue jeans.

Pocketing his keys and phone Bucky picked up the big plastic container filled with walnut brownies. He hadn't forgotten about asking Steve to come along, and so he ended up standing in front of his door, knuckles rapping against the surface.

Despite vaguely anticipating it, Steve startled like a house cat at the faint sound of knuckles against his door. He hustled to the door, fiddling with his lone hearing aid to turn it up a little. He generally didn’t like wearing it, but considering that he was going to be in an area full of people and probably children, he couldn’t rely on one ear alone. 

Steve opened the door, scent a mixture of anxiety static and lemon-zest excitement. He couldn’t believe Bucky had even remembered to come by and get him. Of course, then his brain had to remember why he’d been skittering away from Bucky so much lately. He knew the sound of his neighbor having vigorous sex, and the worst part was, he wasn’t sure if Bucky was an Alpha or Omega. Considering his nature, Steve was leaning towards Omega at this point, but he didn’t want to stereotype. He wasn’t that much of a traditional Omega himself. 

“Hi,” He greeted, hoping the tangy rose-hip burst in his scent would be attributed to his nerves towards the bar-be-que rather than his nerves at trying to keep the auditory memory of what Bucky sounded like when he came from consuming him alive.

"Hey Steve.", he greeted his neighbor with a delighted smile, glad to see he wasn't still stuck at work. This was the first time he's actually seen him dressed up to go outside, not that he'd minded the lounge clothes from before. No one on their right mind would keep on restricting pants in their own home. The small bump of his growing stomach was barely visible beneath the oversized sweater. He wasn't staring just- noticing things, because he had an eye for details, had to when it came to his work.

Steve barely resisted the urge to openly scent the air. His nose had always been sensitive, which usually led to more asthma attacks than necessary. He thought he smelled something on Bucky, oil, masculine and nostalgic. Not for the first time he wondered what Bucky did for work. His girlfriend was so glamorous, he’d wondered about her as well. 

"Ready to go?", Bucky gestured towards the staircase behind him with the hand that wasn't occupied holding the brownies. The smell from the savory soup drifted from the kitchen towards the door, mingling with Steve's scent and going straight to his stomach. He should've eaten more than a single sandwich for lunch, but he wanted to leave space for at least one pound of steak. 

“Kind of?” He huffed a small chuckle, back-glancing at the pot on the stove. ”I ended up making so much before remembering…” He gestured to his faint baby bump with a quiet air of defeat, ”I’m not even supposed to lift things without the baby,” he smirked, not exactly wanting to go into the details of that right now.

Another pair of neighbors walked down the hallway, briefly greeting them. The building was too big to remember everyone's name, but Bucky made sure to at least say hello to anyone he met. It was a basic act of politeness, just like holding the door open for somebody. Unfortunately those actions often got lost when living in a big city. Growing up in a small town in Iowa Bucky's ma didn't even bother to lock the door during summer, welcoming their neighbors when they visited them in the garden and shared a drink or two. Bucky thought that one day when he had a family of his own he'd might want to move back to the countryside.

“Do you think someone has a cart or something?” Steve stepped aside to pick up a small hip-bag from the small, thrift-store side table he’d picked up that had a distinct lean to it. His inhaler and the handful of pill bottles from his overworked clinic doctor were tucked inside, just in case. He wouldn’t be very far away from his apartment, but he didn’t want to trust that someone would just up and have his back. Bucky had been nice, yet no one ever knew how someone would act in a medical emergency. 

Usually Steve played it more by ear, but these days he had someone else to think about now.

"I can carry the pot if you take the brownies.", Bucky offered, handing over the much lighter carrier for Steve to hold while he stepped into the kitchen to pick up the big pot of soup. It's still hot, and he made sure not to let the metal press against his front, walking back out of the apartment.

"Don't think I had a potato soup since last winter.", Bucky remarked, fingers wrapped securely around the handles of the pot. "Smells good.", he added and intended to give it a try later. Good thing they didn't live on one of the top floors.

“Oh, thanks.” Steve didn’t know why he was surprised, Bucky had been nothing but helpful so far. ”Now I feel a little guilty I made so much, “ He chuckled, wincing a little as Bucky hefted it up. Luckily, Bucky was...noticeably strong. Not that Steve doubted that either, considering his arms —

Christ, his hormones were out of control. Bucky might be an Omega, and Steve was eyeing him. He wasn’t bigoted by any means, Love is Love, but another Omega isn’t what his hormones are blasting him with need for. Granted, at this point, he’d be glad with anyone as long as he could share some skinship.

“It’s potato leek, my Ma’s recipe. She was full Irish, so you know the bacon grease in there will make it good.” He laughed, stepping his way carefully down the stairs.

Waiting for Steve to push open the door leading to the inner courtyard, a small crowd had gathered already, setting up tables and benches in the center. There's only a small strip of green reserved for the kids to play on. The grill was standing by the sidelines, so the smoke wouldn't be too irritating.

"Hey Bucky!", Martha a sweet lady in her mid forties waved at him. "I got something for you.", she announced with a sly smile. "Sorry pal, I tried to stop her, but she insisted", her husband apologized with a shrug, continuing to sort cutlery. Bucky was presented with a black apron that had the words 'Beef Master' printed on the front in big red letters surrounded by flames. It looked horrendous. He loved it.

"That's amazing, give me a second." Bucky told her, wanting to put the soup down first.

The moment they entered the courtyard Steve’s easy demeanor clammed up. He trailed after Bucky right up until Bucky got enlisted to be pitmaster. He chortled lightly at the obnoxious apron and set Bucky’s brownies down and scouted a spot to put the soup. 

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a group of older men with children running around the legs glance at him. He could smell a few other people here, two teenagers, one Beta, one Omega. An elderly Alpha whose scent was so subdued she barely registered. Everyone else was obviously on either scent blockers or put enough blocking deodorant or aerosol on to keep it at a minimum in the open air. Among everyone here, he must be like a beacon of hormonal rebelliousness.

Putting the apron on and tying the two strings together behind his back Bucky was ready to light the coals. It'd take around half an hour before the grill was actually ready, and they could put the first meat on. Until then there's more than enough to quell one's appetite. Bucky had spotted a few salad bowls and baskets filled with breath. Someone had baked cake and Steve had placed his brownies down beside it.

He kept an eye on Steve, not because he's afraid he would get mauled by the others, but he looked a bit lost without Bucky by his side, not knowing anyone else yet. Unfortunately he couldn't go around introducing him either. That would've been Dot's part.

Steve was alone. Adrift. Bucky was off to go cook meat and now Steve didn’t know what to do aside from stand awkwardly. He supposed he could try and nibble on something but the last thing he wanted to do was be sick at a public venue. Shit, he should have scoped out near-by bathrooms. That was pregnancy 101 according to the internet.

Luckily Steve soon got company from a little girl. Her name was...something with T. Bucky wasn't as great at remembering names in general, a fact he tried to cover up by avoiding to address others with them and searching eye contact instead. So far it had worked out 90% of the time.

"Can I have a brownie?" The girl asked Steve, looking up at him expectantly. Her mother coughed slightly, making her daughter briefly turn around before remembering what's missing.

"Please?", she added a bit flustered.

Steve had just settled a hand on his stomach to soothe his nerves when the little voice pulled him from his thoughts.”Um?” Oh God. A child. A child asking him something.

He looked between the little girl and the mother, who — Wasn’t intervening? So that must mean it was alright? Damn, what if he ended up being that Omega that let kids eat a bunch of sugar and all the parents hated him for having hyper-active children at a barbeque? Or he could be that asshole policing how other people raised their kids. 

“As long as it’s okay with your ma?” He supplied with a tone that he hoped didn’t betray his terror as he uncapped the container to allow the little girl to select one. 

“First one, huh?” A slightly older male Omega chuckled up at Steve from where he was absently bouncing a toddler on his knee, eyeing the barely-there bump. Even without the bump, anyone with a nose could smell how much he reeked of pregnancy.

Steve huffed a small laugh, ”Am I that obvious?”

"It's fine." the mother approved with a nod. "Only one tho and I want you to try some salad later too, Tilly.", she added, which made the little girl grimace, and she made sure to pick the biggest piece of brownie available. 

Steve could have sagged right into the floor from the sheer relief. No one was snatching their kids away from him, or chasing him off with a broom. Yet. That was something. This was promising. 

Watching the little girl and her mother made his insides feel syrupy, and he hoped everyone understood if his scent went a little saccharine. 

"You smell like candy!", Tilly stated before taking a bite of her treat. "I'm sorry, she's raised in a barn." Her mother apologized on her daughter's behalf. It was true, everyone could smell the sugary fragrance, but it was kinda insensitive to mention it anyway.

"Where are my own manners...I'm Linda, welcome to the neighborhood.", the brunette introduced herself, joining her daughter, but refraining from taking a brownie as well. Just looking at it probably made her gain weight.

His cheeks heated. He'd been told his natural scent of number two pencils and apples had shifted to apple pie and cinnamon while he was pregnant. "I'm Steve, and I am really sorry about — " he gestured to his vague person,"I can't take blockers."

"Ouch, that's gotta be tough." The male Omega winced,"I'm Julio, this one is Oliver, and the one trying to dig her way to Narnia over there is Maria." He pointed to a little girl in a muddy dress doing her best to dig in the little patch of dirt like a bloodhound. Julio just wore a resigned look of acceptance.”Dan over there is my mate," Steve could see the cursory look he got, the 'Where's your mate?' on the tip of a tongue. 

He'd worn a turtleneck for a reason, not wanting to show his conspicuous lack of mating bite. Sure, mates died or bonds dissolved, but Steve wouldn't be able to lie without his scent giving him away. He'd never been a very adept liar.

"Don't worry about it, you wouldn't be the only unmated person around here.", Laura commented casually, with a pointed look in Bucky's direction.

"Dot's probably waiting for him to propose first." There wasn't a rule about when someone should receive the mating bite, although a lot more traditional couples waited till their wedding night to make it official.

Steve could see the moment the flood of fresh-baked relief hit people’s noses. He would have felt awful about it except that he couldn’t get over the fact that his being unmated had been so easily dismissed. He’d almost forgotten the difference between living above his means and being somewhere familiar. Living with Gilmore and the kind of people he associated with, Steve knew how well someone in his position would have been received. 

His eyes tracked towards Bucky, watching as he accepted a beer from Julio’s mate. “I live next door to Bucky and Dolores,” He missed the looks shot between eyes, but Julio figured Steve referred to Dot as Dolores since they’d probably just recently met.

He decided to sit on a cushion instead of a chair to spare his backside from lawn chairs. He didn’t feel quite so nervous now, and he felt naturally a little safer in an identified pod of parents than idly wandering around. The loose group of men didn’t look like somewhere Steve wanted to be. He’d never been welcome in circles like that, either too small or too frivolous of interests. 

His eyes kept drifting back towards Bucky, wondering if Bucky and his girlfriend were really that close to mating. Maybe they just weren’t the overly affectionate type outwardly. They’d certainly seemed familiar once he’d left.

Bucky stood too far away to catch anything of the conversations going on, but he's glad that Steve was part of it. Dan approached him, two beers in his hand and held out one for him. "Thanks, just what I needed." Taking a swig the difference between bottled beer and the cans in his fridge was undeniable. He usually only drank a bit in the evening after dinner to relax in front if the TV.

"Where's Dot?"

"She's auditioning for the role of Ophelia today. If everything goes well we've something to celebrate tonight." Bucky told the other man. Dot had worked hard, he sometimes helped her practice her lines, and he thought she's great.

Once he had enough embers black coal having turned gray and starting to crumble Bucky picked up the first chunk of meat to place on the grill. He laid the meat and veggies around the grill, keeping the greens and meat separated so the flavors wouldn't mix while taking another swig of his beer.

He's comfortable despite not actively being part of the growing crowd. Every so often someone would briefly come buy to greet him, check if he needed another drink or make a bit of small talk. Tilly paid him a visit, telling him that she loved his brownies and if Dot wasn't going to marry him she would. That statement elicited a rumbling laughter from his chest, and he had to bite down on his lip, not wanting the little girl to think he's making fun of her.

"Brownies are easy to bake, there are lots of people out there who can make them for you. I'm a bit too old, princess.", he pointed out with a kind smile. 

"No other boy I know has as pretty hair." She disagreed vehemently, unwilling to change her mind. 

"Well, can't argue with that.", Bucky indulged her, sighing like someone who'd been defeated fair and square. Satisfied with that answer Tilly returned to her mother with a plate of veggies and meat. All that talk about marriage reminded him of the extra shifts he's working whenever he got the chance to, saving the cash he made for a ring he'd picked months ago. He'd everything planned out already, how he wanted to propose, where and when.

Steve was drawn into a conversation about how his pregnancy was going so far. It was nice to get a few tips on his nausea, what to expect, and what to look out for. He hadn’t ever been able to talk with another Omega before about it, especially another male-identified one. Speaking with Julio was nice, even if he got the impression the other Omega was dying to ask about Steve and how he’d come to live here. At least everyone so far had the tact not to ask. 

After a little while Steve wiggled himself up to get something to drink and decided to take a chance on inching a little closer to where Bucky was grilling. 

“Thanks, by the way, for the invite.” If anyone else had asked him, Steve wouldn’t have come. The worry would have consumed him whole, and he would have shied away from meeting new people completely. He didn’t used to be like that. Before he would have had fun at things like this without question. He’d always been awkward and had time getting on with people, but he’d never been so afraid to try before. It felt a lot like learning how to exist in his own skin again. Like he hadn’t been allowed to before. 

Turning his head away so the smoke wouldn't directly waft into his face Bucky was barely able to pick up Steve's scent anymore, but he of course instantly recognized his voice.

"No problem, you're part of this now after all.", Bucky reminded him with a cheerful smile. He's glad that Steve hadn't stayed alone in his apartment. Since he'd never been in a similar situation before Bucky couldn't imagine how Steve must feel without having his Alpha or any family nearby to support him. At least he hadn't heard Steve having any company in the evening when he came back from work himself.

“Everyone is great,” Steve hadn’t meant to sound so surprised, but he hoped Bucky didn’t call him out on it.

"We're living here for over a year and I have no regrets. Everyone helps each other and I'm sure if you're ever in need of a babysitter you don't have to rely on some stranger." Laura would probably be the best choice to ask. Not that Bucky wasn't willing, he just had zero experience, and he wasn't sure how Dot would react to him taking care of a baby that wasn't theirs. She really didn't like sharing.

Steve barely resisted the urge to let his hands drift back to his stomach. A babysitter would be nice, but that was probably a pipe dream. Honestly, Steve had no idea what he was going to do for work once the baby was born. None of the jobs he was qualified for would come with childcare, and there was no way on earth he could pay for a regular sitter or even daycare. Some daycares cost as much as rent! He got the bare minimum for Omega maternity leave, since most policies still just assumed said Omega would retire and let their support system take over providing. It wasn’t like a Beta or an Alpha having a baby. Every Year here was a little more progress, but they hadn’t made it that far yet.

Hell, his Ma used to tell him stories about having to be chaperoned once she’d presented by law. It wasn’t until her late teens and early twenties the strict laws on ‘protecting’ Omegas had been voted out. 

”Is Dolores coming later..?” He ventured, wondering if Bucky’s girlfriend was going to make an appearance. He didn’t hear her around the apartment next door nearly as much as he heard Bucky.

"Sure hope so. She's always the last to show up. Bit of a diva." It didn't sound like an actual complaint coming from him. He's used to Dot sometimes having her little tantrums. She knew what she wanted, and was confident about herself, something that Bucky admired about her.

"Dot is still new in the theater business and refuses to pay a manager, which means she has to hunt for jobs on her own. She's participated in a few smaller plays, but today she auditions for a pretty big role in some Shakespeare play." He hadn't read any Shakespeare since high school and honestly it wasn't a great loss.

“Oh?” Steve pushed down the brief worry, glad the smoke would cover the tinny-tang of worry. ”That’s amazing, she looks like she’d be a Thespian.” Dolores looked like a young movie star, Steve had no doubt she was out beating the pavement for auditions. She seemed driven enough.

Just the thought of the stage made him remember painting backgrounds for theater productions in high school. He’d never had the courage, or the talent, to be on stage himself, but he’d been able to do magic with paint brushes. Once upon a time, he thought maybe he’d go to art school, but that along with so many other plans had been swallowed up by reality.

"Hey, did you eat anything yet? Sausage is done in a minute." Bucky let him know, while flipping the steaks.

“Uh,” Steve glanced sheepishly over at the tables laden with food. Honestly, he was starving, but — “Historically, things that smell and look amazing don’t mean I can keep them down. My body took the term ‘morning sickness’ as a challenge, apparently.” He smirked, which partially explained why he was rail-thin. On top of his long-standing medical issues, this kid was taking all he had and exacerbating things to new levels.

He should probably see a doctor about not being able to eat a lot, but that was time and money he didn’t have right now. His piddly insurance paid just enough for the major milestone checkups for him and the baby, so he’d have to make do until his next appointment next month.

"That sucks. Maybe you should try to trick it with reverse psychology and eat something that you usually wouldn't wanna try." It was probably a dumb idea and had the same chance of Steve throwing up than him eating food he liked, but Bucky had heard all this stuff about pregnant people suddenly having a craving for the weirdest combination of food. Pickles were mentioned a lot. Bucky hadn't spotted any pickles around, but the veggie sticks had some zucchini on it, which looked similar enough.

Bucky wouldn't bully Steve to eat if he didn't felt like it, hell what did he know about pregnancy issues. He'd caught a pretty bad stomach bug once, but those weren't two things he should compare, not to a pregnant Omega.

Steve huffed a snort that turned into a chuckle,”I — I’ll try that,” He wasn’t sure if there was any logic in that suggestion but it was definitely amusing enough to try. There was a voluminous bowl of banana pudding over-filled with vanilla wafers that he’d been eyeing. He’d have to take his lactose-intolerance pills, but that wasn’t so bad. 

“I’ll try some chicken and pudding, I keep getting the stupid cravings, you know? Like Pad Thai. I’m allergic to peanuts and I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” He laughed, seeming in better spirits than he’d ever been at the apartments so far. 

As if mentioning Dot's name three times had summoned her, she appeared at the entrance, heels clacking audible on the asphalt. She looked overdressed in her flowery dress compared to the rest of the crowd, wearing more casual wear. Baggy sweaters and pants just weren't Dot's thing and who was Bucky to complain about her preferring skirts and dresses that highlighted her long and slim legs. She looked gorgeous and Bucky was absolutely smitten.

When Dot showed up Steve took a small step back from Bucky. As usual, Dolores looked amazing. She dressed like how Steve thought his Ma would have loved to dress. Flowy skirts with flirty makeup that made her eyes shine. She looked powerful in a soft way, and his suspicion that she might be an Alpha grew. 

He stepped a few paces away, ignoring the pang that came with seeing them comfortable and easy around each other in a way Gilmore had never allowed. Not in front of people anyway.

Momentarily letting his conversation with Steve trail off, Bucky turned away from the grill to greet her. "Hey doll, how did it go?", he wanted to know right away, although the spark in Dot's eyes were a dead giveaway. 

"I got the role!" She announced happily, letting Bucky pull her into a hug, followed by a kiss.

"Congratulations. I want a front row seat at your first performance." He told her with a happy grin, lowering one arm, but kept the other looped around her waist.

"You’re better not wearing that apron then." she remarked with a raised eyebrow at Bucky's outfit.

"Hey, that's a present from Martha and it's making me look 50% hotter." He protested with light laughter. "Wanna eat something?" Bucky asked her the same question as he did Steve a few moments ago.

"Maybe something that's not dripping with grease. Hey Steve, out and mingling I see. You're looking a bit pale, everything alright?"

"Got just the right thing for you." Bucky assured her, loosening his hold on her to get a paper plate where he could fill the veggie stick and a piece of grilled cheese onto. 

“Congratulations,” Steve offered, smiling in a fashion that wasn’t as carefree as it had been moments before.

”I’m okay, not used to all the fresh air.” He joked, deflecting his faintly clammy complexion entirely. He did need to eat, he knew this, but even that came with its own set of anxieties. Steve also knew he wasn’t as peppy as he probably should be. He’d heard pregnant individuals, especially Omegas, needed to be on a cocktail of vitamins, but he couldn’t afford those anymore than he could afford anything else. He made enough to meet rent and food(most weeks), and that was enough. He could get by.

"Thank you.", Dot addressed Steve with a bright smile, taking the plate from Bucky. "Think the air out here is worse than inside." She remarked, stepping out of the smoke, since she didn't want for her clothes to absorb the bad smell.

"Let's sit down, Bucky you should come too, ask one of the other guys to take over." Bucky probably hadn't tried any of the food he'd prepared and Dot didn't like him acting like some waiter in a fast food joint.

"He can be such a pushover.", Dot let out a small sigh, while looking for a free spot for Steve and her to sit down. Further away from the grill Steve's scent became stronger again, automatically making her breath through her mouth.

Steve politely smiled at Dot. He didn’t think Bucky was so much a pushover as he was kind. It was hard not to notice Bucky’s mothering nature, which only made his growing suspicions of Bucky’s secondary grow. He didn’t even know why it mattered so much, perhaps he was just lonely. It would be nice to have a little group of Omegas to get to know within the apartment building. His faith in Alphas had been shaken, and the notion of sticking to his own was admittedly appealing.

"So where are you working Steve if you don't mind me asking?" Surely an Omega without money couldn't afford not to have a job and due to his living conditions Steve didn't seem to have rich family supporting him either.

Steve did take a moment to snag a small bowl of banana pudding, though he bypassed the other things. He wasn’t even sure what he could eat without his dietary restrictions acting up, and he was pushing it as it was. He didn’t want to get a plateful and end up throwing it all away because of an allergic reaction. He loathed wasting food.

Steve settled carefully, once again relieved to be off his feet. If he already got so winded from this, there was no telling how tired he was going to get when he was fully round.

”I work in an office, nothing exciting.” He’d scrambled to find a job after the split with Gilmore, and he hadn’t been picky, even if the environment was stressful and soul-sucking. At least he wasn’t on his feet more than half the day.

”Mainly just run things from one side of the building to the other or click nonsense on a computer all day.”, Steve huffed a small laugh, ”Bucky told me you’re your own manager? That’s amazing.” And it was, Dot was intimidating in about every way possible.

"Job doesn't necessarily need to get your heart pumping. Office work is probably easy on your nerves if you don't have a boss who's out for making your life miserable." That being said Dot would never want to work a job like that, being unable to express her creativity and emotions. The theater had always been her dream since she was a little girl and it finally started to turn into reality.

Easy on his nerves. Yeah, right. Being an unmated knocked-up omega that couldn’t take scent blockers didn’t make him anyone’s favorite around the office. If it wasn’t for the meager protections in place, Steve was sure he’d of been fired. He’d only gotten hired because at the time, he’d still smelled of Gilmore, and a pregnant Omega that smelled of an Alpha was perfectly acceptable, apparently. 

"It's hard to find someone in the business you can trust and doesn't just try to take advantage at the first chance they get." Dot admitted, clearly speaking from personal experience. "Have you been to the theater before?" She wanted to know, nibbling at the mushrooms and zucchini.

“Yeah, actually. Before I — “ He wavered, not wanting to say ‘Before I met Gilmore’ out loud. He didn’t want to sound that pathetic,”A little while ago I did a commission for the backdrop for ‘A midsummer night’s dream’. It’s...been a while though.” He ducked his head slightly, not sure why he’d said that. He’d only ever done that one real piece of work out of high school before Gilmore told him that him having a job didn’t look good. Especially something as silly as art. Not even real art.

"So you're an artist too.", Dot sounded delighted by that piece of information. "Maybe you'll get the chance to do another commission, the theater strip has gotten much bigger over the years. As far as she's aware the people painting the back drops were hardly hired permanently, but from play to play.

"Hey, what did I miss?", Bucky asked while taking a seat on the bench opposite of Steve and his girlfriend after temporarily handing grill duty over to Dan. He'd gotten himself a plate stacked with various meats and a bowl full of Steve's soup as a side dish.

A little more sunshine returned into Steve’s scent with Bucky returning, even if he didn’t mean for it. Dot made him nervous in ways he couldn’t parse out. “Oh you know, government secrets, there was a bear in a top hat. The usual.” He joked, pleased that Bucky was trying the soup he’d made. It did seem to be a hit around the barbeque, which probably made him stink of contented Omega all over the place. He hoped the smell from the grill and the food did a good job of masking his scent. Thank god they were outside.

"Damn, those are the best, don't know how to top that." Bucky played along, cutting off a piece of steak. 

"Steve just told me he used to paint for the theater. It's a small world." Dot remarked more seriously.

"Oh, that's cool. Probably a lot more difficult than working with a small canvas, right?" He guessed, barely having any experience when it came to holding a brush, aside from painting walls, but that didn't count. Actors brought the play to life, yet the atmosphere was created by the background and props. Bucky couldn't help finding it a bit unfair that only the actors were bowing and receiving the applause in the end. Criticizing theater tradition with Dot around was never a bright idea tho, so he stuffed his mouth with pork belly instead.

Steve flushed, almost sucking a spoonful of pudding down the wrong pipe.”H-hardly. It’s been ages, I don’t even think I'd remember — It’s silly.” He dismissed, practically squirming in his seat. He hated talking about himself, and this only reminded him why. They probably had all these ideas about him, when he was just — A nobody. 

But God he missed it. He missed art like water. He’d had such big dreams his senior year of high school. He was going to get a scholarship, go to school, be something. But life was never that easy. Reality could be cruel.

Not that he had it bad! It could be a lot worse, he knew that. It could be a lot worse, so he just had to stop feeling sorry for himself and keep on. He was a Rogers, and Rogers never quit.

"The soup's great." Bucky commented after trying a spoonful. It reminded him of the dishes his ma used to cook for him when he still lived under her roof.

The abrupt brassy notes in his scent perked right back up when Bucky complimented his soup. Cooking was a much safer topic than his failed aspirations. “Thanks, I haven’t cooked it in forever. Was kind of afraid to set that on fire too.” He chuckled, finishing off his portion of pudding. So far so good, so hopefully he’d be able to snack on something a little more substantial once he was sure he wasn’t going to be sick.

Bucky couldn't tell if it was Steve downplaying his achievements or his second nature. He wouldn't be the first omega not to take pride in his passion or interest, while Alphas tended to be a lot more boastful about them. Bucky himself was proud of his garage, despite being just a mechanic, but he also wasn't one to rub it into anyone's face if they didn't ask about it.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't, would've been a great loss." He stated, being generous with his compliments. They're for free and made people happy, why keep them to himself?

Steve’s scent turned to honey, and a few heads perked up around the barbeque, unable to keep themselves from scenting the air. His Ma’s had always thickened up when someone complimented her cooking, and of course Steve had to go and take after her. Gilmore had always complained he only knew how to cook homey foods. Nothing had been ‘sophisticated’ enough for him, but apparently the recipes he’d learned from his Ma people liked around here well enough. 

Honestly, talking was a lot easier now that Bucky was back, and he fell into the conversation with Bucky and Dolores with more ease than he’d shown before. Of course that stuttered a little when Bucky left to get more food, but enough people joined in to chat with them that Dot hadn’t been able to pin him down again.

Finishing up his plate and soup Bucky continued to make easy conversation and light banter before returning to the grill and earn his apron. Once there was no meat left and the coals were mostly burnt he let the kids gather around for a marshmallow special. Everything tasted better when being roasted and the sweets were no exception. 

Returning to Dot, who's still sitting with Steve, Bucky was about to settle down again as well enjoy a bit of music that came from the speakers of someone's phone, but his girlfriend seemed to have other plans. 

"Let's go back inside and open a bottle of wine to celebrate." Bucky could be wrong, but getting alcohol involved usually ended with them having sex, so it sounded to him like a code, and he couldn't help feeling a thrill racing down his spine at the prospect of that. Sue him for being a sex positive Alpha, he's getting those prejudices anyway.

"Alright, have a good night Steve." He wished his neighbor, lightly squeezing his shoulder as goodbye.

Steve glanced up as Bucky returned, though whatever he was going to say dried up when Dot suggested they return to their apartment. It was a little disappointing, but he wasn’t so terrified of staying by himself now that he’d chatted with some others now.

“Goodnight,” Warm fireside leaked into the honey-spice, the brief contact grounding. He could admit that he was hellishly touch-starved. Historically, Omegas didn’t do well as hermits, but Steve didn’t have much of a choice on that.

He stayed an hour longer, eating a little more and keeping it down. People had eaten enough soup he could lift the pot and carry it up (carefully) to his apartment by himself, even if Julio volunteered Dan to do it for him, his pride wouldn’t let him. Bucky was different. Bucky seemed genuinely happy to help and Steve didn’t feel so awful about relying on someone like that. Besides, he could do with the exercise. 

By the time he returned, put the rest of the soup in the fridge, and went to his room to strip for a shower, he was back in time to hear a revisit of sounds he really, really hadn’t wanted to hear again. 

“Well, fuck.”

Bucky and Dot ended up making out on the couch like teenagers while letting the wine breath, whatever that was supposed to mean. Bucky had wanted to take a shower first, wash away the mixture of smoke and caramel that stuck to him after briefly touching Steve. He knew that Dot didn't like the scent of others on him, but apparently she didn't care about it right now, while stealing his breath and making his dick throb in the confinement of his pants.

"How about you enjoy a glass of wine while I'm congratulating you some more?", he suggested with a wolfish grin, pecking her lips before shuffling backwards to lower himself and sink between her legs. The black lace panties ended up on the floor and Bucky didn't come back up until he could taste her on his tongue, soft moans filling the living room. Once she was all pliant and the glass was put aside Bucky wiped his mouth with the heel of his hand, he picked her up to move them towards the bedroom. 

"Love when you're like this", he murmured against her neck, carefully placing her down on the bed before he started to strip out of his clothes and joined her. Despite his previous preparations he coated his erection with lube before smoothly sliding into her, groaning noisily when she clenched up around him. "Fuck-", he cursed beneath his breath, hiking up one of her legs and pushed further until he bottomed out with another blissed sound.

"You're so hot, baby." He kept babbling, keeping his thrusts slow but deep, refraining from pulling out more than a few inches before chasing the heath again. Considering how riled up he was from before it didn't take him very long before he reached his own peak, hips snapping forward to ride it out.

Slumping down beside her once he felt completely boneless he needed a minute to catch his breath, running his fingers through messy, sweaty strands of hair. "Could go for some wine now."

Steve knew he shouldn’t. But...god it had been forever, and he felt pretty good from the barbeque, and he’d been surrounded by so many people. His hormones were doing that stupid, syrupy sensation they did when he was in a group that wasn’t awful, as if his DNA was screaming out for comfort and security.

Then there was the other two. Bucky was definitely the louder of the two, and his pleasured groans were — No no, he really shouldn’t be thinking about that. 

Steve shivered and hurried to the bathroom, still intent on getting the smell off his skin. He carefully avoided looking into the mirror. There were bites on the round of his left shoulder and another on his right thigh, scarred over and deep. Gilmore wanted to bite him, sure, but he’d never wanted to claim him either. 

He stepped up the spray, and the moment the warm water hit him he knew it was stupid to even have a pretense. He had his legs widening and one hand planted against the shower tiles before he could second guess himself. 

“Oh god,” He whimpered, delving two fingers into his hole that was already starting to slick. Everything was over-sensitive and almost too much to touch, but that’s what made it so good. It had been ages and — 

He gasped and immediately bit his lip, he doubted anyone could hear him from his bathroom, but he didn’t want to risk it. Hopefully the scent of his arousal and slick would stay confined to the bathroom as well.

His position wasn’t the best, but he didn’t even need to stroke himself to bring himself to the stratosphere embarrassingly quick. All he needed was a third finger, and he keened loud enough that he all but shoved his face against his bicep to drown himself out. 

Maybe he should invest in some headphones…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all of your kind/sweet comments so far, which are keeping us super motivated to update on a regular schedule!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again!  
> Let us know what you think about this chapter in the comments <33

The apartment fire escapes probably weren’t up to code, and definitely not a place to hang out on, but right now, Steve didn’t really care. 

He had his back against his half-open window, bundled in a layer of blankets, staring out into the middle distance as he quietly contemplated the day. It hadn’t been great. Between his boss not-so-subtly hinting his days were numbered, and his OBGYN appointment, he felt a bit like crawling into bed and dying. 

Instead, he brooded on his fire escape while eating a bag of shredded cheese with one hand, and a box of cornflakes with the other.

Meanwhile, Bucky knew he should quit and that one or two smokes a week were still too many for his lungs, but everyone had a guilty pleasure. Well, he had cigs and sugar, but he'd eaten the last Reese's the other day and didn't want to walk to the corner store for a candy bar.

He fetched the half empty pack and a lighter before pushing open the window of the living room that was located right above the fire escape to climb outside. At first, he didn't notice he had company with the bundle of blankets being on the outer corner of his vision, but then he heard a crunching noise that startled him so badly he almost dropped the lighter. Upon realizing that it wasn't the metal framework about to break away beneath his feet he took a relieved breath before fixing Steve with a slightly spooked look.

Steve heard another window open and movement, but he was so far into his head it didn't really register as much of a concern. He was too busy cramming a fresh handful of cornflakes into his mouth. 

"Fuck, you almost gave me a heart attack..." Bucky muttered, flopping down to lean his back against the wall. 

Bucky swore, and Steve blinked out of his haze to look over. He honestly hadn't thought anyone was stupid enough to sit out here like he was, but seeing the cigarette pack in Bucky's hand made sense. Dolores didn't seem the type that would want the apartment smelling like smoke.

"Are those cornflakes?" Not even questioning why Steve decided to eat his weird dinner outside his kitchen Bucky tried to figure out the wind direction instead. He wasn't gonna be a jerk and let the smoke blow right into his pregnant neighbor's face.

"Uh-huh, want some?" Steve murmured around his bite and proffered the box, fishing into his blanket cocoon with his free hand to pull out a pint of chocolate almond milk he'd splurged on after his OBGYN appointment. He shouldn't have spent the four bucks on it, but dammit he wanted it.

"Well, if you're offering...thanks." Bucky was easily convinced, placing his smokes and lighter on his lap to take the cereal box.

Steve didn’t know why Bucky taking his offering made him feel a little better, but if he had to venture, he figured he felt a little less judged. Most people who found their neighbor out on the rusted fire escape looking like a pile of regret would have probably done a hard swerve, not share sugary box cereal.

"So is this regular dinner or eat your feelings dinner?" He asked hesitantly while grabbing a handful of cornflakes to unceremoniously shove into his mouth. They were a bit dry without milk but basically sweet chips. 

If Bucky was the one sitting on the fire escape surrounded by comfort food it'd most certainly mean that he was upset about something. He didn't know if Steve and him were close enough to talk about that kind of stuff yet.

“Little of column A, little of column B.” Steve replied with a weak smile, taking a sip of the almond milk. Once again he was thankful that of all his allergies, he hadn’t developed a nut allergy. He wanted so bad to just spill his problem to someone, yet he didn’t want to burden someone he didn’t even know that well either. He’d spoken to Julio a couple of times since the barbeque, but he still didn’t feel right just going to someone to listen to him whine. There were plenty with worse problems than his.

Returning the box after another handful Bucky made a point not to stare at the ice cream, like the chocolate addict he was. He didn't come out here to eat his neighbor's food, who's probably needed it a lot more than he did. Being yelled at by a customer was a regular occurrence in the service industry. What was really annoying was that he had to play nice instead of sending the asshole and his junkyard bike away. Howlie's garage was still establishing itself, and they needed more regular customers to keep the business going.

Fetching a smoke from the slightly dented pack Bucky slipped the filter between his lips and lit up the tip, slowly taking the first drag and tilted his head to the side, away from Steve, when releasing the tendrils of smoke from his mouth. It was probably just his imagination that he thought he could feel his heartbeat slow down a little with contentment.

Steve hunkered a little more into his blanket shell, thankful Bucky was directing the smoke away from him. The last thing he needed was to have an asthma attack after the blood report he’d gotten from the doctor’s. 

“Milk sounded awful and I wanted cereal...and I also kind of wanted a grilled cheese but that takes more effort than I’m willing to put up with, ergo — “ He gestured at his hot mess of a dinner with a shrug. At this point he was done pretending he was anything else but what he was. He’d tried everything else, and he’d still ended up a stereotype.

"As long as you get something in your stomach." Bucky commented with a faint smile. He remembered Steve mentioning that he had a hard time keeping anything down, which couldn't be healthy in the long run. The omega looked pretty slim, despite his body being hidden by a layer of blanket.

Yeah, Bucky definitely had a point there. Pregnant people’s weight was supposed to go up not down. Steve had put a little bit of weight on there last year, but with everything that had happened, it had all gone up in smoke like his relationship. He felt like he was right back to being the gawky kid he always was through school. Even for Omegas he was pushing small.

"If you wanna get something off your chest...I can just listen and it's gonna stay between the two of us." Bucky volunteered since he was going to sit around for a while not planning to do anything and if it helped Steve to feel better it wasn't exactly a burden. It would be nice having someone around and to talk with for a while. Company that made the silence and emptiness of the apartment less stifling.

He usually had the TV or radio running in the background, but it was different from talking to a real person. He missed those long conversations he used to have with Dot ranging from philosophical questions to their favorite Dorito flavor. Great, now he had a sudden craving for chips. Maybe it was normal to run out of topics to talk about after three years. This was his longest relationship he'd had so there's nothing he could compare it to.

Steve hoped his scent was lost in cigarette smoke and the ‘fresh’ city air. Bucky’s offer was — could he really do that? 

Maybe if the day hadn’t been so stressful, and he’d eaten more than just empty calories and almond milk, he could have resisted. But honestly, for once, he wanted to bleed it out, and he hadn’t been able to talk to anyone since he’d found himself alone in Manhattan with just Gilmore. 

“...Just, feel free to shut me up okay?” He didn’t want to take advantage, especially if Bucky had just offered to be nice. 

"Sure." Bucky assured him with a nod, gesturing with his free hand for Steve to keep talking while taking another drag. There wasn't an immediate stream of words gushing out from between his lips and Bucky waited.

“It’s probably no surprise that I’m freaking out, right?” Steve smirked, knowing he probably looked like a hot mess to everyone. He certainly felt like it.

”I didn’t even think I could get pregnant,” Of course his underactive uterus had to perk up and the wrong moment. 

“But here I am..Just had my two-month appointment today.” He’d sat in the waiting room surrounded by mated couples or at least pregnant people with their parents or friends and felt a bit like the world was ending. He hated feeling so lonely. Before Gilmore, he’d gotten on alright. At least he had a few friends back then. He’d never been a social butterfly, but living alone had been easy, and he’d enjoyed it. Now it felt like his apartment was as much his home as it was prison.

The mound of his slender stomach was growing week by week, and soon his clothing, no matter how baggy, wasn’t going to hide it. “Spoiler alert, they’re not very fun appointments.”

"But there aren't any complications?" Bucky didn't know much about pregnancy aside from the general knowledge and that apparently the first few months were critical, because that's when most miscarriages happened. He didn't know if Steve even wanted to keep the baby, but he certainly hoped that he wouldn't lose it like that.

"Honestly...kind of? The doc says about all my levels are too low, I'm stupidly underweight, and — " Steve stumbled a little, almost admitting that his hormone levels were all out of whack. Which wasn't surprising in the least.

"Maybe there's some sort of support group for single parents?" Nowadays there were support groups for practically every situation and Steve surely wasn't the only omega out there who had to deal with this on their own. Right now it seemed like Steve tried to get through it all by himself, which was very brave, but there's no shame in accepting help.

Steve shrugged slightly,"Probably? I guess I should probably look…" but he didn't sound very enthused on the idea,"Maybe at the Y or something. I'll Google it." It would be nice to get some understanding eyes on things, see if he was being glaringly idiotic on a few fronts.

"I could come with you to the next appointment if it's in the afternoon and you want some moral support." Doctor's appointments were never fun and unless he felt like he's about to die he'd rather stay at home or walk it off. For a grown up guy he had a very intense aversion for needles to the point where he had to look away when getting an injection.

Bucky’s offer bloomed a confusing explosion of combinations that were almost immediately swept up in the open air. That was...a hell of an offer, one Steve wanted to greedily snap up. He hated going alone, hated being talked to like he was some kind of blathering idiot. Most Omega had some kind of basic support system, though it was true those in poverty like he was tended to fall in the category of an exception. He’d just never thought of it like that.

“That’s — That’s really nice of you, Bucky.” He looked over at his neighbor, feeling a knot of tension starting to unwind. Too fast, actually. He felt dangerously close to crying, and he did not cry. 

Nodding in agreement Bucky knew he couldn't force Steve to go, the choice was up to him. He could merely give him some ideas and hope for the best. It worried him tho, to hear about the lack of vitamins and nutrients Steve's body seemed to have. How was he supposed to put on weight if he could barely eat anything? 

"It's no trouble." Otherwise, he would just sit alone at home and wait for his girlfriend. That time could be better spent helping his neighbor.

No trouble. Why was Bucky being so nice when Steve was out here acting like a crazy person? “Fucking...hormones.” Steve murmured, pulling his blanket up over his head with a snuffled groan.”Do me a favor and kill me before I sit here and cry on you.” He huffed a watery laugh, dropping his grip on his ‘dinner’ to shove the heels of his palms against his eyes.

"Better let it out once in a while than bottling it all up. S'alright." Bucky wasn't going to think any less of Steve because he cried in his presence. Honestly with all the stuff going on in his life everyone would feel overwhelmed walking in his shoes. 

Another thin laugh puffed from Steve, “I don’t think there’s bottlin’ up shit when you're pregnant,” He smirked, unable to contain the trickle of tears that started falling despite his best wishes not to. Lately he felt like a slave to his body’s baser whims, just along for the ride. Case in point, he was eating cornflakes with freaking cheese.

Bucky slightly pressed his back against the wall and forgot about his cigarette, just holding it between his fingers. The urge to comfort Steve and wrap his arms around him grew stronger and Steve’s scent filled with distress didn't make it any easier for him to stay unaffected. Shit, he started to feel upset himself, just out of empathy and that's probably the last thing Steve needed right now. At least he couldn't pick up on it thanks to the scent-blockers.

Steve had never been around anyone pregnant, let alone an Omega. Bucky must think Steve was insane by this point. Not all people were like this when they were pregnant, were they? According to his doctor some people really did go through horrendous ‘morning’ sickness, and had recommended he drink instant breakfast shakes. As if he could afford those. All ‘solutions’ to his problems felt woefully out of reach, and he was floundering trying to keep a grip on the walls as he slid further and further in.

“God, I am really sorry, you went from one crazy neighbor to another.” He tried to be quiet considering the walls, but he dreaded the baby coming. What if the other neighbors complained when the baby cried? If he could even keep it...It was looking like more and more he would have to give it up. 

The threat of looming adoption crossing his mind was all it took to really start the water works in earnest. Blessedly, by now he was covered in blankets, only the front of his dark blond hair poking from his make-shift hood visible in the mass.

"Guess the space is already occupied." Bucky attempted to joke, trying to keep it light since Steve was feeling so low already. 

"Don't apologize, you're a good neighbor." He assured Steve, who was so quiet Bucky sometimes forgot that he's actually living next to him. Steve was going through a rough patch in his life while his previous neighbor had gotten a kick out of blasting loud music inviting over friends on a daily basis to join him in his escapades.

Flicking the remains of his cigarette off the edge of the fire escape he shuffled closer to the small bundle beside him, aligning their bodies. He refrained from reaching out to pat the other's head or tugging him into a hug. Steve's head barely came up to his shoulders, and he could feel the hard lines of his body lightly press against his ribs where he sat. Keeping his gaze on the darkening sky Bucky hoped that this was okay, and he didn't overstep a line. 

He could hear the muffled sobs and feel the faint tremble of Steve's body. Leaving him alone with his misery wasn't an option. He's going to sit here until the tears stopped flowing, even if it meant going to work with only a few hours of sleep.

Steve wondered what might have happened if Bucky had turned out to be a god-awful neighbor. Yeah sometimes he played music too loud, and him and his girlfriend had infrequent but enthusiastic sex, but that was hardly anything compared to the neighbors on his other side and above him. Bucky had done so many things for him already that Steve wouldn’t dare ask for more. Everyone’s well of patience and kindness ran out.

The warm line of Bucky’s body pressing against his own snipped one of the taut wires rigging his shoulders to the sky. It was such an unobtrusive touch, but it was a gift. He leaned a little into it, sniffling into the fabric of his knees.

It took nearly thirty minutes for Steve to wind himself down. Leaning up, he scrubbed his face again on his blankets until it was pink to rid himself of the tears. He hoped Dot didn’t mind if her boyfriend stunk of distressed Omega, but hopefully she understood.

“Thanks..Bucky, you’re a good f — “ God he really must be out of sorts today if he was about to say ‘friend’ when Bucky was only trying to be a good neighbor,” — neighbor. Promise I’m not the kind of guy that does this kind of thing all the time.” He’d cried after finding out he was pregnant, but he hadn’t after Gilmore had kicked him out. He’d been too numb after that. He’d cried the first night in the apartment, but he’d kept things under wraps since then. Crying never solved anything, and he’d rather get a headache from something more useful.

"And even if you were as long as you don't start drawing pentagrams with goat blood on my door we're good.", Bucky stated, nudging Steve's shoulder.

"That didn't actually happen." He quickly added, because the previous 107 was a douchebag, but not an occultist as far as he's aware.

The randomness of the scenario and Bucky’s added addendum burst a startled laugh from him. He leaned up from his blanket pile, looking over at Bucky with a quirked grin on his face as his small body shook with amusement. 

“Damn, there goes my plan for the weekend. To be fair, I was going to go with lamb’s blood, but getting that in Brooklyn is a nightmare.” He shot back, the chittering terror of the day starting to recede. He did feel better, which was a small miracle. Crying usually made him feel awful, but even if his head kind of hurt he felt refreshed. Unburdened. Maybe there was a difference in crying alone and crying with someone right beside you.

Steve hadn't lost his humor, which Bucky counted as a win. Chuckling at his response he uttered a "Not today, Satan." while stirring from his spot. 

The sun had almost completely sunk behind the taller buildings and the temperature started to drop. They should head back inside, mostly to make sure Steve wasn't gonna catch a bug. That's the last thing he could use in his current situation.

"I mean it." Bucky reminded Steve of his previous offer. "Tell me when your next appointment is gonna be." Stretching out his legs his feet ended up hanging over the edge before he pulled them closer to his chest again in order to stand up slowly. 

“I promise I can cook more things than just soup. You’re not really seeing me at my best here,” Steve got to his feet as well, hefting his mismatched foods into his arms underneath his blankets.”I’ll — ...Yeah, I will. Thank you, Bucky.” He wasn’t sure if he could bring himself to, but he wanted to try. He didn’t want to go alone to the next one.

"Thanks for the late breakfast, we should do that part again sometime." Bucky pocketed the lighter he'd been toying with and walked the few steps to his window.

"And actions speak louder than words and I only believe in things I can see or taste." He responded with a smirk of his own, swinging his legs inside and letting the rest follow before closing the window. Steve's smell followed him like a shadow and by now it had turned much sweeter again.

"Good night, Steve." He wished Steve with a small wave.

“Night,” Steve’s smile softened, waving a covered hand like a penguin’s wing before he ducked back inside his apartment to try, and get settled for the night.

Bucky decided to take a shower, not wanting Dot to smell the smoke or his neighbor on him and having to explain himself. Upon returning from the shower in his underwear with his hair still damp he found Dot in the living room and greeted her with a brief kiss. The minty flavor of the toothpaste hopefully covered the remaining taste of cigarettes. "I was about to go to bed.", he told her.

"Do you have a new shampoo? You smell different."

"No, just-" Maybe he should keep his random meeting with Steve to himself, but if she figured it out anyway he was going to look like a liar.

"Ran into Steve. He's having a rough time." Bucky replied, keeping the details to himself, because he had promised Steve not to turn their private conversation into gossip.

"You're running into him quite frequently.", Dot noted with a disapproving arch of her brows. Bucky had a vague idea where this conversation was going to head and it wasn't a hill he's willing to die on today.

"We're next door neighbors, it happens." He dismissed her suspicion and moved forward to their bedroom, making it clear that the conversation was over for him, although he could tell that Dot didn't want to drop it yet. 

That night in bed there's more space than usual between them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More cute bonding time because there's never enough!

Days passed and Steve managed to suppress the creeping dread in his gut. There was too much to do to think about all the ‘what ifs’ right now. He needed to focus on keeping his job, getting ready for the baby, and making sure his body didn’t give out. Two out of three didn’t feel like it was difficult, but balancing all three felt impossible. 

It was a dreary, rainy day when Steve walked into a Goodwill and found a steal he couldn’t pass up. Hauling the weathered bassinet with the few items he’d purchased up to his floor wasn’t easy, and in the end he’d only managed when poor Julio had peered out of the door of the second floor to see what all the noise was. Between the two of them (and Julio’s children’s enthusiastic encouragement) they got the bassinet to the apartment.

Two hours later and Steve was sitting on the floor, ram-shackle toolbox in hand, and staring at the stripped screw as if it had personally insulted his mother. 

See, he wasn’t handy. Arts and crafts he could do. He would make this thing look beautiful once he was able to fix the leg of it and make sure it was even stable enough to put a newborn in, but until then, he was a monkey with a wrench. He stared down at the YouTube tutorial with a low groan. He’d watched four different videos on how to get out a stripped screw, and he had the tools for exactly none of them. 

Sighing, he flopped back on his bare floor, even if it made his spine ache. The baby was already doing a good job on the aching front, and his doctor had warned it would only get worse from here. Scoliosis and pregnancy didn’t mix well. Surprise of surprises.

Well, counting the half-finished bassinet, he had only — everything else to get. Aside from this, he hadn’t bought one thing. The only thing that even allowed him to buy this was all the money he was saving by his paltry diet. Why by a lot of food when he was only going to throw it up? For right now, liquids and easily digestible cards were the way to go, and even if it wasn’t ideal, it was enough to keep going. And at the end of the day, that’s all he could do. Just keep going.

Bucky didn't own an umbrella out of principle, because he wasn't made out of spun sugar and could survive a few drops of water. Unfortunately the few drops had turned into buckets while he sprinted home, his clothes getting more soaked and heavy with every puddle he ran through. Avoiding them wasn't possible anymore.

He looked like a very accurate version of the creepy girl from The Ring, trudging upstairs. Clutching a small bag against his chest he was just glad that the bottles inside were waterproof, but he should probably still towel them dry and put them into a fresh bag before handing them to Steve, so it'd look less like he fished it out of the Hudson.

After tossing up his hair in a bun, and dressing in clothing that wasn’t dripping all over the hallway, Bucky carried the gift bag in one hand and used his other to knock against the door of apartment 107. He thought he could hear voices from inside and...cursing? Hopefully he wasn't gonna burst right into a fight.

The knock on the door almost sent Steve through the roof. Barely anyone knocked on his door. Julio had dropped by once to ‘offer him a crash course’ by babysitting Maria, which had been nerve-wrecking but the extra money had been well worth scrubbing crayon from his beat-up coffee table. And he’d kept her alive with no injuries, so he counted that as a win.

The little old lady he hadn’t snagged the name of had come up from the floor below to offer him one of the squashy quilts she’d accumulated over the years. Over a few cups of coffee he’d learned she made them out of boredom, a widower with grown children scattered to all ends of the world. He made a mental note to go down there and visit soon. He knew how loneliness could eat at you.

Steve wasn’t sure why it surprised him to see Bucky at the door, but it did.”Hey Buck — oh?” He blinked down at the package handed off into his arms.

"Hey Steve, I got something for you." Bucky greeted his neighbor, holding out the small bag. The faint rattling from pills could be heard from inside. "A friend of mine works for an online pharmacy. They have these big sales and anything that won't get sold after that day gets thrown away. You mentioned that your results have been bad, so I thought...this might help you?" Bucky went on explaining the content of the bag, which was filled with vitamin supplements. 

He'd left it to his friend to pick the stuff she thought Steve could benefit from the most, which had also received good reviews. Apparently three different bottles should be enough to improve Steve's levels. He shouldn't take more than necessary, and they obviously weren’t to replace real food, but Bucky thought he might have an easier time taking those than having a meal with the same nutrients. 

"It's all based on plant stuff, not just chemicals, so there shouldn't be any side effects and you can't accidentally overdose."

For a moment, Steve wondered how in the hell Bucky knew he needed these. He’d almost forgotten he’d broken down and practically cried all over Bucky last week, and oh God he really wished the floor would open up to swallow him whole. 

“Bucky that’s — I can’t...I.” He stammered, scent bursting with a technicolor explosion of embarrassment, overwhelmed, and the rich fresh-bake pastry scent of unending gratitude. 

Yeah, he was going to cry again, he just knew it.

Bucky felt slightly dizzy from the onslaught of scents, his nostrils flaring while his mouth started to water a bit from the smell of pastries. Stupid brain, being unable to distinguish between actual food and the vivid illusion Steve's scent created.

Steve didn’t think about it. He just lurched forward to wrap his arms around Bucky as far as his thin arms would reach, squeezing with all his might.

"It's for free, I didn't have to pay a penny-" He started to protest, thinking that Steve wanted to refuse his gift. Their bodies collided and Bucky instinctively wrapped his arm around Steve to keep them both steady. A pair of more slender arms firmly embraced his middle and the already strong scents from before seemed to increase tenfold. Bucky felt a bit like he was back in high school and getting baked for the first time.

Once more he's immensely grateful for the scent-blockers keeping his own emotions at bay, at least on the olfactory level. He was just really delighted about Steve's reaction, smiling down at the smaller man with his face buried against Bucky's chest. Right now he didn't even have the mental capacity to worry about Steve's scent enveloping him like a warm, fuzzy blanket and that he'd probably have to shower in bleach to get rid of every trace.

Steve held onto Bucky for an embarrassingly long time, stamping down the sensation to blubber all over Bucky — again. He felt like no one was properly warned that when you made acquaintances with single pregnant individuals there was a waterworks hazard and you might have a need for a back-up shirt. He really wasn’t looking forward to that ‘might possibly piss himself’ stage of pregnancy once his plum turned into a watermelon.

“Sorry,” He mumbled, pulling back with an embarrassed smile.”It’s just really nice of you. I didn’t — I can’t believe you remembered.” Or even wanted to do something about it?

“People around here are just so much nicer than I expected, especially you and I’m…” He trailed, nose scrunching. ”Okay, nope, I’m shutting up or I’m going to cry again and I swore I’m only doing that pregnant-crying once a week.” He’d wrack up a bill on comfort foods if he broke down every time he felt like it. 

"It's alright, we can just pretend it's rain." Bucky remarked with an easy smile, not wanting Steve to feel embarrassed about crying in front of him twice in one week. It's a very emotional time for him after all. "Told ya I'm a good listener." And to Bucky that evening had been rather memorable. It wasn't the first time someone had cried in his presence, but usually it happened inside a room.

"Yeah, it's a great community." Bucky agreed wholeheartedly. He's often reminded of his old home, where his family had also been close to their neighbors and tried to help each other out. Pods like these rarely existed in big cities tho.

Steve sniffed, gesturing behind him at the disassembled mess in his living room.”I’d say come in but you can see my DIY project has made me realize I’m not nearly as handy as I thought I was.” He chuckled helplessly.

”People on YouTube make it look so easy.” He held the bag to his chest like it was something dear and precious he was afraid of dropping.

"Oh, you're assembling the crib." Definitely a work in progress, but he could figure out what it was supposed to be in the end by the general shape.

Steve reeked so much of overjoyed Omega even he could smell the shift in his scent. If he was a dog he probably would have been propelled to the moon by his tail by now. He couldn’t help it if there was something about Bucky that made his hormones latch onto him and scream ‘SAFE’. Safe wasn’t a sensation he was used to feeling. 

By now he was almost reasonably certain Bucky was an Omega. The man was just so caring and seemed to genuinely like investing his time in people that Steve had a hard time believing he was an Alpha. Dolores on the other hand, she definitely screamed ‘Alpha’. While one Omega getting their scent all over another Omega wasn’t too bad, he still worried Bucky might get in trouble. Alphas could get possessive, Steve knew that from first-hand experience. 

He was going to pretend the understanding smile Bucky gave him didn’t cause butterflies to swirl in his stomach. It was probably just gas. 

“A bassinet I found at Goodwill. It was cute but it wouldn’t hold a baby chicken like it was. “Figured I’d reinforce the screws than sand and paint it?” There was a tone of question in his voice, because those were things people did, right?

"Sounds good." Bucky approved of Steve's plan, since the crib...well, you could tell it hadn't cost more than a few bucks, but a fresh layer of paint could change a lot and it was mainly about the baby having a bed to sleep in.

Bucky stepped close to inspect the bassinet. "Stripped screw, huh?" He was quick to locate the deformed screw head. It was a pretty common problem and had occurred when he'd put together the furniture for his flat too. 

Looking around for the tool he needed to fix it, he noticed that Steve only had a screwdriver, which wasn't gonna help their case. "I assume you don't have a drill, right? I can get mine and a rubber band. It's not as bad as it looks." He assured Steve.

A sigh escaped him, and he aimed a sheepish grin up at Bucky.”I swear I’m a functional human being. I know how to do my taxes and everything. I just — I never had to know about this stuff before, you know? Gilmore — “ He swallowed, god he hated when he slipped up and said his name.” — My ex did what he called ‘traditional Alpha’ stuff.” He rolled his eyes, even using quote bunnies.

"I don't doubt that fixing screws isn't exactly a top priority skill you need to survive." If it wasn't literally his job to fix stuff Bucky might've had to look up tutorials too and ask his neighbors for tools.

“Jokes on him, I’m a shitty house-Omega.” Steve smirked, rubbing his stomach lightly through the thin cotton of his blue shirt. 

"...that's sexist bullshit." Bucky commented with a scoff, although his distaste wasn't directed at Steve. Those strictly conservative thinking Alpha's rubbed him in all the wrong ways, behaving like Omegas were their property and only good enough for 'Omega’ chores.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, you've come this far without him." Bucky felt the urge to remind Steve of his accomplishments.

There it was again. Instead of smirking at him and confirming that Steve knew jackshit, Bucky just — was nice. He didn’t want to keep comparing people to Gilmore, but he was still astounded that Bucky hadn’t smirked at him or grumbled something under his breath. Dot looked at him as if she was just trying to be polite, yet there were people here in the apartment complex that seemed to actively want to know him. And Bucky...Bucky was good.

A pink flush colored Steve’s cheeks. He was struggling, but he was doing alright without Gilmore, wasn’t he? It felt amazing to have someone say that out loud. He didn’t even feel embarrassed when his scent doubled up on that fresh-baked home scent. Did Bucky even realize how much it meant to him to hear Bucky say that? 

A moment later Steve realized Bucky had offered, once again, to help. ”You don’t really have to — I mean I appreciate it, but I’m sure Dot’s waiting on you right?”

Bucky's smile grew strained around the edges when Steve mentioned his girlfriend, but he made sure to keep any bitterness out of his voice when answering. "She isn't home yet. I'll be right back." He told Steve, walking out of the living room to fetch his own tool box from his apartment. 

His initial plan had been to fix the screw himself, but after Steve's comment about his ex claiming Omegas weren't capable of simple handiwork he decided that he'd teach Steve instead, so next time he could do it on his own.

“Thanks,” Steve bobbed his head with a contented smile, not even questioning where Bucky was going right now. It should have been obvious, but when Bucky came back toting a drill he felt his prior embarrassment returning. He really needed to get his shit together and be prepared for things. Grown adults had things like drills, right?

Returning to Steve's apartment after a few minutes Bucky knelt down beside the unfinished crib and explained to Steve what he had to do. "Just put the rubber band on top of the screw, press the drill into it and use the reverse function."

Steve sat back down with Bucky, looking between the bassinet and the other Omega(?) with curious eyes. The couple dynamics around the apartment building were becoming something of a growing fascination. Julio and Dan worked seamlessly well together, and equal push and shove with no clear ‘dominant’. Dot and Bucky were also a fascination. Dot was so strong, and Bucky so independent. 

“Wow, really?” He awed, taking a few seconds to position the rubber band just so. It took two or three tries, but once he got a good grip on the drill, the screw popped out a few seconds later. He gasped, beaming a satisfied smile at Bucky as if Bucky had just shown him how to spin hay into gold.

"You did it!", Bucky exclaimed proudly when the screw landed on the floor with a light clink.

”With a freakin’ rubber band! That’s so smart, how’d you learn how to do stuff like this?” Steve was going to need to air out his own apartment after Bucky left because even his own scent was starting to get too thick for his own liking. He’d read that unmated pregnant Omegas had a strong pheromone cloud with nothing to temper it, but he’d been drastically unprepared. No wonder most of them wore special deodorant.

"My dad taught me. He used to give me these challenges when I was a kid. Tampered with something and then I had to find out what's wrong and fix it. Made me feel a bit like Sherlock Holmes." Bucky admitted with an amused chuckle. His dad's ulterior motive might've been to keep him out of trouble and busy and it hard worked...most of the time.

“That’s great, learning stuff like that is invaluable. My mom taught me the best she could, but she only learned how to be a nurse once my dad died. I guess Single-Omega-life is kind of a birthright.” He chortled lightly, smoothing his hand over the weather bassinet. It looked a lot like the one he’d sold off from his childhood when his mom had died and money was even tighter than it was now. 

"I got a bike for my 18th birthday. Pretty sure it's from the junkyard, and I was almost 19 when I could finally have my first ride, but it felt damn good knowing I was able to fix something others had thrown away and deemed broken." Sure there's been times when Bucky just wanted to use a wrench and bash in the lights in frustration and had to ask his dad for help, but he'd never given up until the project was finished.

“A bike? That sounds — I’ve never been on one before. I don’t even know how to drive a car,” It wasn’t like he’d ever been able to afford one on his own and Gilmore had flat out refused to teach him how to drive his Audi. “What’s it like? How do you not — you know, die?” Steve laughed, since he couldn’t imagine careening down a street in an open air vehicle.

Steve's curiosity was endearing, like his laughter and Bucky was surprised upon hearing that he couldn't drive any vehicles.

"Really? You're missing out on something. Driving a car and riding a bike is a completely different sensation. Riding a bike feels more like...freedom." Bucky tried and failed to explain the feeling of the engine purring beneath him while his stomach somersaulted in exhilaration due the increasing speed.

Steve listened intently, trying to imagine what it could be like. Being out in the open like that while going so fast sounded incredibly dangerous. He’d seen so many people on them though that it couldn’t possibly be as lethal as it looked. Not any more lethal than risking a normal bike around New York traffic anyway.

"It's like riding a heavier bicycle. S'not that hard once you've learned to keep your balance, but driving in the city isn't any fun." That and the reason that the fuel cost him more than the subway ticket was the reason his poor lady was standing in the garage most of the time, only getting taken out on special occasions.

"Maybe I can show you sometime." He suggested nonchalantly. Once the weather conditions were better. Bucky had enough experience under his belt that he wasn't worried about having a second passenger, pregnant or not, but it'd be understandable if Steve didn't want to take any risks while having the baby.

Steve perked upon Bucky’s casual offer, a bloom of curious spring flowers and a dose of nervous wet moss working its way into the warm sweet of his scent. “That — That’d be fun.” He replied with a note of trepid question. It didn’t sound amazingly fun, but also made his stomach quiver at the possibility.

”I guess I really haven’t done a lot of things.” He mused with a small shrug as he looked around at all the pieces of the now sectioned-off bassinet. He could probably get it all sanded tonight if he didn’t wane after eating a little something for dinner. Maybe.

“Never been on a plane before either, if it wasn’t for high school I doubt I’d of even left the state before.” Money had always been the core issue, and then Gilmore hadn’t liked him leaving without him. Not that the asshole had ever taken him when he went anywhere anyway.

"There's still more than enough time for you to experience all those things." Bucky kindly reminded him. Sure his life would change a great deal once he gave birth to the baby, but they could travel together.

"It's just as cramped as the subway with more security checks. The sight from above the clouds is the only highlight for me, but I've never been outside of the US either." Bucky admitted. Something he'd planned for Dot's and his honeymoon trip was to visit Europe. Not all of it, they didn't have enough time and money for that, but maybe Venice or Paris. 

Steve offered a brittle-edged smile. He didn’t have that optimism anymore. His mother had worked herself to death to offer what little she could, but even if it pained him to say it, it hadn’t amounted to much in the end. Steve felt like he was going down a similar path, except he couldn’t even claim to be nearly as crafty as his mother. How she’d managed, he had no idea. Doing things like traveling and seeing places just for the sake of seeing — That was other people’s lives. He’d make do with daydreams.

Bucky was about to ask where Steve's parents lived, if he wanted to visit them or the other way around, but he had the distinct feeling that it would taint Steve's spring breeze smell. Maybe he couldn't afford to see them, or they didn't have the best relationship. The last thing Bucky wanted was to rub salt into an open wound, which had been also the reason he didn't ask more questions about Gilmore. How that asshole had the audacity to leave Steve behind after knocking him up. He'd barely heard anything about their past relationship, but the few pieces he'd gathered made it look like an unhealthy overall image.

"Do you have everything you need to sand the bassinet?" He returned to the original reason for his presence.

Steve ran his fingers over the curved edge of the side, imagining the fabric he might pick out. It was probably going to be whatever was on sale, but he hoped it would be something cute. Maybe a checkered pattern, or heck, even ducks. He didn’t want pink or blue, it felt too cliché and assumptive to him. Maybe green, or yellow. Something sunny and bright. The kid was going to need it.

“I think so?” Steve turned to grab the Walmart bag, “One rougher grain sand paper thing, a finer one, and this paint said it had primer in it and was safe, so?” He offered the contents up for Bucky’s inspection.”Honestly, I just bought what YouTube told me to do, they could have me building a bomb for all I know.” He chortled, downplaying how quick he was to learn things like it was an art form.

Fetching the bag Steve offered him Bucky's eyes briefly scanned over the articles inside. As far as he could tell nothing was missing. "You got it all right.", Bucky confirmed, not doubting for a hot second that Steve could finish the project on his own. 

Steve smiled in return, feeling a great sense of accomplishment even though he hadn’t really done much yet. He really wanted this to be something he could be proud of. Something he could stand back and say ‘I did this’ without an Alpha having to butt in and do it for him, or criticize what he did wrong.

"I've seen the 'Before', now I'm looking forward to seeing the final result." Bucky told him with an excited grin, placing the bag down beside the crib.

Getting back up on his feet was the exact moment he realized that he was half-hard and felt a surge of mortification hit him like a slap to the face. When did that happen? What the fuck was wrong with him? The only silver lining was the bagginess of his pants that saved him from losing his face in front of Steve. Christ, he's such a creep, popping a boner over his neighbor's cavity inducing scent.

"I'm gonna-" He jerked his thumb towards the door. "...get going. See you around." With his feelings all over the place he completely forgot about the drill he'd lent Steve and walked out of the apartment without it. He needed a cold shower like yesterday.

Steve’s eyes followed as Bucky stood up. It wasn’t that surprising that Bucky was leaving, it was an impromptu visit, but he was still a little disappointed. He liked being around Bucky. Nice to just casually hang out with someone for a change. He...missed things like that. Inviting people over just to share each other’s presence or watch a movie. Sometimes he wondered if he was too old for that kind of stuff now. When did people just grow out of making friends?

“Okay, thanks for the supplements!” He called after, brows furrowing at Bucky’s hasty retreat. That was weird. Right?

He shook his head, looking back down at his project, It was about an hour later after he’d sanded the first layer down that he noticed Bucky’s drill

“Shoot.” He mumbled, picking it up. Should he return now or tomorrow? He had the brief fear of running into Dolores if he went now, and immediately felt bad. The woman had never done anything wrong exactly, Steve just instinctively didn’t want to be around her. Which, okay, that probably made him a jerk since everyone else seemed to like her..  
\--  
"No problem!" Bucky assured Steve, pulling the door close behind him and heading straight for his apartment. Stripping out of clothes as soon as he reached the bathroom he shoved them into the washing machine, adding double the amount of scent neutralizer then he usually used, just to play it safe.

It felt like appropriate punishment to shiver under the cold shower, impatiently waiting for his erection to soften. Bucky tried to think of anything but butter melting on top of a fluffy croissant or mowed meadow, anything that reminded him of Steve and his sunny smiles. Placing his hands against the cool tiles Bucky hung his head, letting the water patter against his shoulders. Just a chemical reaction in his brain. This wasn't real arousal based on attraction.

He left the shower when he could no longer suppress the chatter of teeth and felt like a human popsicle. Rubbing some feeling back into his skin while toweling himself dry he wrapped the damp towel around his hip to leave the bathroom and retrieve an unscented set of clothes.

"Honey I'm home." He heard Dot call, upon entering the front door with a jingle of keys. Great timing. Bucky felt like being caught with the hand down Steve's cookie jar, whatever the cookie jar was supposed to be in that metaphor.

"Hey baby doll." He answered, casually leaning against the back of the couch, so he looked less like a deer in the headlight.

"What have you been up to?"

"I took a shower.", he answered truthfully, simultaneously avoiding talking about why he needed one in the first place. He'd rather take that incident to his grave.

"Yes, I can see that, but I can still smell our neighbor. Not exactly subtle." She uttered with a displeased curl of her lips.

"Just brought him some stuff and helped him with a crib for the baby."

"Is he your new project?"

"What- no! He's just...a guy who's having a rough time and I'm trying to help. Would it be so bad if I were friends with him?"

"You weren't this hellbent to become pals with any of the other neighbors, so why him? Because he's all helpless and you think you need to protect him? Or maybe it's because he's having a baby, and we can't have our own family yet?"

"That's not...it's not like that.", Bucky growled, gritting his teeth in anger at Dot pushing all those buttons that made him ache and see red. She got it all wrong and it wasn't fair — 

"So you're telling me you don't have that craving to knock me up? Fill me up 'til my stomach starts swelling on its own?" Dot whispered seductively, tugging at the towel already hanging low on his hips.

"Shut up." Some wires in his brain must've crossed, because his cock started to harden again, although he's feeling upset and sex wouldn't solve the situation.

"Or what? What you gonna do about it, baby? Gonna pop your knot?"

Bucky pulled her into a bruising kiss, anything to silence his girlfriend and prevent her from poisoning his thoughts. The scrape of teeth outweighed the slide of lips and Bucky quickly got sick of unbuttoning Dot's blouse, switching to tearing it open instead, sending buttons flying.  
—  
Steve got so far as going into his bedroom to find a pair of flip flops to slide on, so he didn’t look like a total slob going next door barefoot. He was sitting to pull them on when he heard a loud thump from the apartment next door, and he turned.

His brows furrowed, and he stood up and started towards the kitchen. There was another thump...and another...and he was pretty sure he heard something break. Which would have all been very alarming if there weren’t words disbursed between the loud bangs that weren’t anything like distress. 

“OhmyGod,” He clapped his hands over his ears, eyes raised to the heavens in a silent ‘why me?’. It was barely past dinner! The two had some intense sounding lovemaking before, but nothing quite like this. Bucky hadn’t smelled or looked like he was going into heat, and he doubted Dot would be out around town if she was going to be going into rut. 

Other than a few handful of times, Steve didn’t think the couple did have sex, or if they did, they were a lot quieter about it. 

Especially because Steve thought Dot would have been livid that Bucky came home probably reeking of Steve and his unchecked pheromones after such an emotional day. Unless…? No, that was stupid, not to mention highly delusional. He knew unmated and pregnant Omegas tended to have a driving scent that was supposed to help pull people towards them in their time of need(fucking mother nature), but he highly doubted it’d be anything like an aphrodisiac. 

Shaking his head, he fished around for his headphones to put on blast, trying to will away the surge of wetness between his cheeks.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up for a long, emotional rollercoaster ride!

Steve waited an extra day. If he’d gone yesterday, he would have blushed himself into an oblivion, and he didn’t think he could look Bucky in the eyes after hearing the kind of language those two used while apparently fucking each other’s brains out. 

“Don’t start,” He mumbled aloud to his own brain as he packed up the plate that contained the mound of Irish scones he’d baked to say thank you to Bucky and his seemingly boundless kindness. He tucked the drill into a grocery bag, so he could juggle things without dropping them, and ducked out into the hallway. 

He knocked, looking like he was expecting winter since he was in a too-large hoodie that could in no way originally belong to him, sweatpants, and checkered blanket draped around his angular shoulders.

Bucky had gotten a lot of crap and catcalling from his friends and coworkers when he appeared to work the next day with a bruise on his neck that looked like he'd been mauled by a cougar. Dot had really done a number on him, and he had the matching red welts criss-crossing his back to prove it. It had been the complete opposite of love making, not something they'd ever done before and Bucky didn't think his knees could handle it more than once a week. 

Not that he wanted to start fights on a regular basis to get such a reaction from his girlfriend. Despite the sex being mind-blowing intense it hadn't left him with the same kind of satisfaction it usually did, because in the back of his mind he knew they still had unresolved issues that needed to be addressed properly. He also needed to repair the coffee table if that was still possible. Poor thing had gotten caught in the crossfire and heavily tilted down on one side where two legs had given in under the pressure of two bodies colliding on top of it.

Bucky spent around an hour wiping down every horizontal surface in the flat, since he didn't have the energy to do it before. The rug ended up in the washing machine together with a bit of his dignity. Christ, they'd behaved like animals and there's no chance in hell Steve didn't get an earful of it. He should start writing apology letters to his neighbors, though to be fair they weren't fucking like rabbits in general, so it should be fine.

Perking up his head from his spot on the couch he'd been resting on, Bucky made his way to the front door upon hearing the knocking, immediately knowing it must be one of his neighbors since Dot hadn't forgotten her key and it was kinda early for her to be back.

He was greeted by the smell of pastries and the sight of Steve, which was the best and worst combination. The last thing he needed was for his dick to react like Pavlov's dog whenever he was faced with a treat like this.

"Hey Steve. Seems like you and your oven had some quality bonding time." Steve was probably thinking about the same regarding Dot and him right now. Shit, why didn't he use some other words, there were thousands of them!

What ever hope Steve had to look at Bucky and not consciously remember thinking that two human beings sounded a lot like the Animal Planet when having sex went out the window with that greeting. 

A hint of pink colored Steve’s cheeks and his eyes darted away from Bucky before he could be caught staring. Jesus, people probably heard their neighbors going at it all the time, why did he have to be weird about this? He was pregnant, obviously he knew what sex was all about for God’s sake.

“Yep!” He replied a little too peppy to be completely natural and had to reel himself in with a mental kick.

”I baked scones? They’re Irish scones, my Ma’s recipe because I pretty much only know how to make what she did.” He chuckled lightly, feeling his nerves gnaw at his stomach.

"Does that mean there's whiskey inside?", Bucky asked jokingly, already eying the scones with hunger, because he could definitely eat like one or ten. They looked light, nothing that would count as a full meal but a nice snack.

“Oh, because I definitely haven’t heard that one before.” Steve rolled his eyes with a playful smirk. Were it anyone else, he might have gotten annoyed at the bantered stereotype, but he knew Bucky wouldn’t say something like that out of maliciousness or ignorance.

"I'm sorry for my lack of originality.", Bucky apologized with a smirk. 

“Oh, and I brought your drill back. I just wanted to say thanks? You’ve done so much for me and I really appreciate it,” There, that sounded a little more natural and less like ‘Are you okay because that sounded really aggressive and I’m kind of afraid you need an ice pack?’.

"That's sweet of you, thank you.", Bucky expressed his gratitude, taking both plate and drill from Steve's hands. He hadn't even realized that he's missing a tool, but good thing Steve was such a candid soul.

"You wanna uh- come inside for a minute?", he offered, since it only seemed appropriate to invite Steve inside after receiving a bunch of homemade pastries. "I have some strawberry jam and honey." Truth to be told he barely knew Steve, but Bucky was almost certain that he didn't eat a single scone himself, saving them all for his neighbor. Bucky couldn't let him get away with that, after all Steve was the one who should put on more weight that wasn't related to the growing baby. 

He held the door open for Steve to step inside. Was it a good idea after his previous 'incident' with his girlfriend? No, but he'd rather eat in company than spending his time alone again. She couldn't blame him.

Refusal was on Steve’s tongue right up until there was mention of strawberry jam and his stomach gave a traitorous growl. A quiet, embarrassed chuckle escaped him as he patted over his stomach’s small swell. 

“...of course, they didn’t want the oatmeal I fixed earlier,” He murmured shyly. ”You sure it’s okay?” He barely caught himself before he could ask where Dot was. He felt ridiculous being so avoidant, but something about the woman made him want to steer clear. He thought before Gilmore he had a good judge of character, but these days, he wasn’t so sure.

"Seems like they're having strong opinions and developing good taste very early." Bucky commented with a fond look at Steve's stomach before averting his gaze to look back up at his neighbor's face. "I insist," He assured, beckoning him inside.

That definitely meant Dolores wasn’t home, or he doubted Bucky would be this receptive. He’d noticed that when Dot was around Bucky was either solely focussed on her, or when he expected her around Bucky looked almost pinched. Then again, maybe Steve was just reading into things more than he should. Just because his own relationship had failed in a spectacular way didn’t mean everyone was in a doomed relationship. He doubted he could recognize a good one even if it slapped him in the face.

“That’s some wishful thinking. I’ve never wanted a kiwi in my entire life, but they’ve all I’ve been craving at two am lately. Did I mention they’re only acceptable with salt and pepper? Because that’s a key point.” He shuddered even thinking about it, but whenever he had the spare money he was still buying the damn things to ruin them with weird additives and condiments while standing in front of his fridge like some kind of crazed goblin. 

"You might be onto something. If you believe this cooking show I've been binging a pinch of salt elevates every flavor.", Bucky remarked with another grin. He's about to offer Steve a coffee when he remembered that caffeine was probably as much of a bad idea as giving a pregnant person an alcoholic drink, so he opted for making tea instead.

Leading the way towards the kitchen Bucky fetched them two smaller plates, knives and the promised jam out of the fridge, arranging everything on the kitchen table since the coffee table was still...out of order so to say. "How's it going with the supplements? Can you keep 'em down?"

The apartment smelled like someone had gone through and sprayed a good dose of scent-dampener on it, which — Considering the smells that must have been floating around, Steve could understand.

“Thankfully, they’re enough like candy that it’s acceptable.” Steve chuckled with a long-suffering sigh tapering at the end. ”Thanks again, by the way. My doctor might be less likely to look like she wanted to throw me out a window the next time I go.” Though he doubted it, since the list of possible complications was still a mile long.

"You're welcome, like I said they'd only go to waste otherwise and I'm glad if they can improve your results." Grabbing one of the scones Bucky cut them in half before smearing a thin layer of jam onto them and taking a bite. "Mmh, damn. They're delicious.", he stated in delight after swallowing and no longer risking spitting crumbs.

Steve laughed easily, feeling more comfortable the longer he was in Bucky’s presence. He wondered how Omegas like Julio and Bucky got so comfortable in their skin. Bucky was attractive(ridiculously so), funny, and obviously capable, and Steve was pretty sure Julio could tackle anything that came his way. Steve wanted to be that. Be the kind of Omega that could stand on their own two feet and not feel like he was constantly drowning.

Steve selected a smaller scone, splitting it with a good layer of butter and jam. His pleased expression was dwarfed by his scent, which made a complementary pairing to the gooseberry scones. He hummed around his own bite, nostalgia hitting him like a train. He didn’t think he’d gotten them quite like his mother’s, but could anyone ever? 

Bucky had never made scones himself, either buying them or purchasing the ready to go dough you just had to fold up a bit and heat up in the oven. They couldn't hold a candle to those homemade scones tho. "Your ma's a genius." First the soup and now the scones. Bucky just hoped he got to taste more of her recipes thanks to Steve. "Is she planning to visit?"

The innocent question caught him unaware, and a note of somber sea-side bled into the air.

”She was.” He corrected with a genuine, but brittle smile. ”She died when I was in my Senior year of high school. Cancer.” He’d spent the majority of that senior year watching her waste away, but no matter how much he’d begged to let him stay at home and help, she’d forced him to school. He still remembered in clarity when and what he was doing when the Principle pulled him from class to tell him his mother had died while he was in Math.

"Shit, I shouldn't have assumed- I'm sorry, that must've been tough..." Losing his only parent at such a young age and then having to keep going on his own was something Bucky couldn't even start to imagine.

Steve waved a hand gently in front of him. ”No, it’s okay. It was a long time ago.” Well not that long, he wasn’t middle-aged by any stretch of the imagination, but long enough where the sting had dulled to a burning ache. Especially now that he wished he had her by his side while he was pregnant. She would have loved being a grandmother.

“She was a single Omega, raised me on her own. A nurse.” A thin laugh puffed from him. ”She’d cuss me up one side and down the other if she knew I went and did exactly what she said not to do.” It was probably saying too much, but Bucky hadn’t seemed averse to talking yet, so maybe it was alright to say this much. "Probably the start of a pretty shitty family tradition." Steve smirked and took another bite before he ended up rambling some more.

"I think she did a pretty good job. Would make her happy to know you recreate her recipes.", Bucky tried to find words that helped to cheer Steve up again instead of pitying him for his loss. "My parents are still around, so it might sound rich coming from me, but I think it's better to have a single parent that cares about you than two who're just keeping it together for the kid's sake."

“She’d have probably nagged me for not having a proper butter, to be honest.” Steve tittered, mood lifting considerably. ”But I agree. My Ma — she was the best of ‘em. I don’t know how she did it. Don’t think she could have if it hadn’t been for Mrs Callum next door who babysat me so much, or the landlord that cut her breaks.” He shook his head slightly, hoping he could be as strong as his Ma to get by. He’d have to be as crafty as possible.

"Seems like you have that gift from her, attracting the neighbors.", Bucky remarked playfully. If Steve was anything like his Ma it made a lot of sense. He couldn't tell what it was about Steve that made him want to linger in his presence. His sweet scent might be the easiest explanation, but he's defined by a lot more than that.

Finishing off his first scone Bucky went for another, this time spreading some honey over it. "You should teach your kid how to make those. Keep the tradition going." Sure, there's still a long way ahead, but it was always nice to have something to look forward to.

The suggestion diffused a different warmth into the room, a pervasive soft honeysuckle at the thought of standing in the kitchen, teaching his faceless child how to make scones. ”That sounds like a hell of a lot better of a tradition than getting knocked up by smooth-talking Alphas.” Steve took another bite with a side-ways smirk.

Smooth-talking Alpha. It probably wasn't in Bucky’s best interest to point out that he was one of them, so Bucky wisely busied himself with eating the third scone. They're like chips, you couldn't stop until the bag was empty.

Steve ducked his head with a shy smile. “I feel like kind of an asshole, I thought everyone here was going to be awful because the people in the condo building where I lived with Gilmore were.” Shame and humiliation still burned at the back of his neck when he thought about those tense days when he was waiting for Gilmore to come back from a business trip. He’d taken five different pregnancy tests and the week following he’d been subjecting to endless amounts of whispers, side-eyes, and outright sneers once his Omega pheromones kicked into overdrive.

"Bad experiences tend to make you wary. I'm just glad you gave them- myself included, a chance.", Bucky remarked, since it had been Steve's choice to come along for the annual barbecue and now bring him pastries, instead of pretending he didn't exist.

“I’m glad I did too,” Steve beamed. He was still terrified of so many things about this situation, but his mother had never let anything stop her, so he wasn’t going to stop either. He was lucky to find an area like this. He didn’t know what he’d do once the baby was born, but he’d have to take everything one step at a time.

Speaking more of his mother, “I wish I remembered more Gaelic, but it’s not like it’s common around here.” Steve pinched at a bite, “What about you? Are you from around here?”

"My family used to live in Iowa, but we moved to New York for my Dad's job when I was eight." Back then Bucky had been heartbroken to leave his childhood friends behind and had been really mad at his parents during the first week. He behaved like the biggest brat hoping it'd convince them to move back, but once the last box was unpacked it became clear that they're gonna stay in Brooklyn.

"Both cities have their perks. Iowa was a bit more like living in the countryside, less hectic, but it doesn't have a beach." Visiting Coney Island might have become some sort of guilty pleasure for him.

"I have three little sisters, who are the bane and blessing of my existence. Can't fall asleep around them without waking up to my nails being painted." He told Steve with a suffering sigh, though it was clear as day how fond he was of them.

"We get together for the big holidays." His parent's house got pretty crowded, but it was always fun, and he's looking forward to seeing them again, hopefully this Christmas to celebrate his engagement with Dot. 

Bucky refrained from mentioning that bit, mostly because he didn't want to jinx it.

He listened to Bucky talk about his family dynamic with a soft smile. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like. A big family unit. The kind of family you saw on television growing up. The kind that probably had a Christmas tree with pretty lights, rambunctious Thanksgivings, and birthdays all throughout the year. 

“That sounds hectic, but fun. It was always just me and my Ma.” The ‘until it wasn’t’ was implied within his wistful tone. Christmases weren’t holidays he enjoyed anymore. Even after he’d gotten together with Gilmore, he’d never been invited to his boyfriend’s family. He hadn’t really questioned it, it wasn’t like they were married right? He’d never told Gilmore how lonely he got around Christmas. How much the holiday made him miss his mother. He could only blame himself. 

“But I guess things will change soon enough,” He huffed a light chuckle. He guessed it would be him and the baby from now on around the holidays.

"Right, you're gonna have your own little family. When's the expected date of birth?" He asked curiously. It was late summer and judging by how small swell of his belly he definitely wouldn't be due this year, but probably around spring. 

Steve finished off his scone and took a sip of water, “Sometime late February.. So winter will be...an experience.” He chuckled with a light sigh. He didn’t fare well during winter with just himself, handling it grossly pregnant was going to be hell.

Bucky felt a brief burst of excitement for absolutely no reason, considering that it wasn't his baby. He's just very happy for Steve, the fact that he wouldn't be alone anymore. Surely he'd find a new partner, who's gonna help him raise the baby or maybe not if that's something Steve wasn't looking for.

In a few years if Steve and his child were still around Bucky might have his own baby, and they could become friends. He's thinking way too far ahead already, but it was a nice little daydream.

"Hey I'm a March child, close enough." Bucky commented with a smile. Maybe they'd celebrate a double birthday next year. His ma used to say that babies born during cold months turned out to be tougher and more likely to become Alphas, but Bucky didn't believe in myths like that. It had been a coincidence that he presented as Alpha and had a pretty decent immune system.

Steve filed that bit of information away. It was a long way off, but Bucky was a birthday he wanted to remember. He couldn’t offer much, but judging how Bucky wolfed down those scones he’d say an edible birthday present wouldn’t go amiss. He didn’t want to keep thinking about how Gilmore had always criticized him, especially his cooking, but it was damn nice to be appreciated for once.

"One more reason to stay inside when the weather's nasty." Brooklyn didn't exactly turn into a Winter Wonderland, the bit of snow melting before it touched the ground or quickly turning a muddy gray. At least the city made up for it with lots of decorations and colorful lights.

“I’ll still find a way to catch the flu,” Steve rolled his eyes. His immune system was just nonexistent. Someone could sneeze a state over and he’d catch whatever germ was sent his way on the wind. ”I should probably warn everyone away in the winter by just putting a quarantine sign on my door. I can’t remember a cold holiday I haven’t either been on fluids during or slept through.” He pretty much just roped off the entirety of the winter months to be sick in. He wasn’t sure how he’d handle his job and being grossly pregnant at the same time, but he’d figure it out. Someway or another.

Steve hummed in agreement. “Honestly, they were a bit of a shock.” Normally Steve wouldn’t say anything like this, but since he was reasonably sure Bucky was an Omega, he figured this wasn’t anything too tmi. It was just something Omegas had to deal with.

”I was never really all that fertile to begin with, a bad fever when I was a kid saw to that. I’m pretty sure I went through the pharmacy’s supply of pregnancy tests.” Steve laughed, remembering how frantic he’d been.

”Life finds a way, huh?” He wished he was more excited. That he could look down and smile over the forming life within his own. But he wasn’t, and he couldn’t. He hadn’t even been sure if he’d wanted children before this. His health was poor, and his body fragile. What could he offer a child? What if one of his many problems killed him early and his kid ended up in the system, orphaned and alone? He didn’t want his child to feel unwanted, or alone. He wanted to be a good parent, but as he was, how things were, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that.

Bucky felt slightly flustered when Steve went into further details about his fertility, considering that it was a very private and sensitive subject. Hell, he didn't even know anything about Dot's fertility level or whatever. Was there a measuring unit or charts? He didn't know anything about his own fertility to begin with, simply assuming that he could get kids if he wanted to.

"The stars must've aligned or something, so hey maybe it was faith, if you wanna believe in that." Bucky could tell from what he'd heard that the baby wasn't planned and that his first reaction hadn't been pure joy. He didn't blame Steve for panicking, after all it was a life-changing event and five years ago Bucky wouldn't have been ready for a child either.

Stars aligned. What a way to put it. Steve would have rather the stars not align on that one. He thought, maybe one day he might have wanted kids. But, he’d just gotten used to the notion he would have to adopt in that case. He’d made peace with not being all that fertile and that he’d have to put money and time into it if he ever wanted to be pregnant. Of course, the universe had other plans. Plans that had ended up with him in a brutal Heat and getting knocked up by the biggest jackass in Manhattan.

"Step by step." Bucky reminded Steve gently. "I can hear you starting to worry again. There's still lots of time, you're gonna figure it out."

Color bloomed on Steve’s cheeks, “Am I that obvious?” He smiled softly. ”Thanks, Bucky. Honestly. You’ve been — you’ve been a lot nicer than you ever needed to be. I really appreciate it.” He wanted so badly to call Bucky a friend, but he wasn’t sure where the line was drawn. How far Bucky wanted the distance between their doors to be.

"That bad?" Bucky asked while shooting Steve a sympathetic look and barely managed to stop himself from going for another scone. He should at least save a few for Dot to try and if she didn't want them he's gonna eat them for breakfast tomorrow.

"Well, to be fair I can see and smell it." Bucky admitted with a crooked, little grin. They were sitting close together and his eyes were trained on Steve's face pretty much the whole time, so Bucky noticed the small crinkled around his eyes or the way his brow would sometimes furrow.

Bucky did have a point, Steve was a painfully obvious broadcaster. He hated that about himself, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. His mother had called him ‘honest’ which should probably be a compliment but it more translated into ‘easier to be picked on’ growing up. When everyone knew what bothered him, it was easy to rile him up and press him buttons.

"My grandma always told me that kindness doesn't cost a thing. Still true." Only caring for oneself and using elbows might get him up the career ladder, but it was lonely at the top. Bucky preferred staying on the ground well liked by his friends and family. By now he assumed that what Steve and him had was a growing friendship and Bucky wasn't one to ignore a pal in need.

“Your grandma sounds like a wise woman. My Ma was like that, probably more than she should have been.” Steve’s face smoothed into a serene smile, “Not enough people take that to heart. What’s the point in being a jerk anyway? Seems like a lot of wasted energy.” He could be a firecracker sure, but he tried not to be an asshole. Usually his mouth was the reaction, rather than the inciting incident.

"How's it going with the crib?"

The question brightened Steve right back up,”I haven’t ruined it! I got it sanded and the primer coat on it — Turns out I really did need the primer coat, and it actually looks like something now. I just gotta paint it, seal it, and put it back together.” Pleased and proud Omega pheromones rolled off him, overjoyed that he’d managed to figure out how to do this much with just Youtube as a guide. “I get to break out Ma’s old sewing machine next after I find some fabric, so that should be...interesting.” He chuckled, since he hadn’t done any sewing while living with Gilmore.

"Of course you didn't", Bucky chimed in with a small huff of laughter. "That's great. You sure you don't wanna keep the drill until you're finished?" He asked, pointing towards the bag with the tool laying beside the table. It might save Steve a lot of time compared to using a screwdriver.

Steve glanced at the drill in the bag then back at Bucky,”I should be fine, I don’t want to be one of those neighbors, you know? Even though I kind of feel like I already am.”, he smirked with a slight smile. Steve felt like he’d constantly needed others to help bail him out of situations. He didn’t know what he would have done without his neighbors’ kindness this past month. It would have made it a hell of a lot more difficult, but that didn’t mean he wanted to keep relying on people, especially Bucky.

"You're gonna sew a lil canopy too?" Bucky had been thinking about a mobile that could be clipped to the frame, but Steve could also go for one dangling down from the canopy. He felt like he had too many ideas considering that Steve was the one expecting a baby and Bucky just tried to support him if possible. That's why Bucky kept his enthusiastic ideas about glowing stars and fluffy sheep to himself. It was Steve's turn to let his creativity run free and since he was or at least used to be involved with art he surely had a bunch of plans himself.

He was just about to tell Steve about the big fabric market on Tuesdays, close to his garage when the front door was unlocked and Dot entered the apartment. Bucky unintentionally tensed up a bit, but didn't try to shoo Steve away all of a sudden, because there's nothing to hide. Just two guys hanging out and enjoying a plate of scones while talking about crib decoration.

“And yeah, I was thinking maybe — “ He cut off when he heard the door open, his warm, comfortable scent spiking with a note of apprehension. Steve realized by now Dot made him anxious, and he thought he knew why. If Dot really was an Alpha, then it would make sense. Steve didn’t want to be that asshole that thought all Alphas were awful, Dan and that little old lady that gave him a blanket were great, but in his experience, he was still leery. Dot gave off the kind of energy that made Steve want to sink into the floor.

"...hello Steve." Dot greeted their guest after realizing that Bucky had company...again. "Didn't know you're coming over for dinner today." She added casually while giving her boyfriend a dirty look.

Once upon a time, Steve probably would have made a wisecrack and shrugged off the sensation, but — Well. Things changed. People changed things. Changed him.

A smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes spread on Steve’s lips. ”Hello, Dolores. Nice to see you again,” His Ma would smack him for lying,”I’m not, I just brought over some scones. Hope you like lingonberries? If Bucky left you any,” He teased slightly, trying to diffuse the tension any way he could. He needed to leave, it didn’t feel comfortable anymore. His hind brain warned him away from an ‘unsafe’ burrow. 

"Thank you, I'll make sure to try whatever's left.", she assured Steve, matching his plastic smile.

"Hey Dot.", Bucky greeted his girlfriend, inwardly praying that she wasn't gonna cause a scene. It was most likely that she'd wait until Steve was gone though and then they'd have another...talk, both of them refusing to budge an inch.

Steve swallowed, “I should go, still gotta get that next coat on the crib before bed.” He stood and pushed in his chair. ”Thanks again, have a good night.” He didn’t want to seem like he was rushing out just because of Dot, but — well. He was.

“Good luck with that,” Dot bid Steve goodbye.

"Good night, Steve." Bucky uttered in addition before his neighbor was out of the door, faster than he'd ever seen him move before. It became more and more obvious that Steve and his girlfriend weren't comfortable around each other.

"Are you doing this on purpose, James?" Oh, here we go again...Dot never used his real name unless he's in trouble. 

"If you mean inviting over friends then yes, I'm doing just that." He replied slightly snippy. Steve had brought him scones for Christ's sake, was he supposed to slam the door in his face afterwards? 

"Don't play dumb, I haven't seen any of your other friends around lately, it's always Steve stinking up the apartment and you behaving like a wannabe dad."

"I'm not- I'm just trying to be helpful and you're being a real bitch about it 'cause all you can see is competition! Maybe stop bringing your work home with you." Bucky knew he's being mean and just wanting to hurt Dot the same way she hit his weak spots. By the look on her face he'd succeeded, but he didn't feel very victorious about it.

This time their argument didn't end with wild sex on every available furniture. Bucky slept on the couch, willing the anger bubbling in his stomach to subside, so he could find some sleep.

\--

Steve didn’t pick up the drill. He didn’t think Dot would appreciate it at all if she knew her boyfriend was sharing it with him, even if she hadn’t said anything outright hostile to him.

Of course, things changed. 

It wasn’t hard to hear them. Speaking anything above conversational level was a recipe to be overheard in this apartment building. It was a miracle they didn’t all fall through the floor with the tissue paper walls and floors. 

He wished he’d left his hearing aid off, maybe then he wouldn’t have been able to hear so clearly Dot start in on Bucky. It wasn’t like they were doing anything sneaky. He’d been in Julio’s apartment and Dan was perfectly fine with it. Heck, Julio regularly volunteered Dan to help various neighbors if they needed it. But Dot...Dot really must dislike him. 

*’It’s always Steve stinking up the apartment,’*, Steve leaned against his front door once inside the relative safety of his apartment. Despite no one being around, he flinched. Everyone he’d talked to assured him they didn’t mind, that they understood that he couldn’t take the pills or aerosols. He’d been more free lately about trying to keep his moods in check and not washing his clothes as vigorously so often since laundry was expensive. But, apparently not everyone was as easy going.

— --

Over the next handful of weeks Steve made himself scarce. He was more cautious about lingering in the hallway of their floor. Washed his clothes more often, and hunted down a brand of scent-blocking deodorant that didn’t make his skin that irritated.

More than that, he made sure not to get anywhere near Bucky’s door.

Logically, he knew that Dot didn’t control Bucky, but he would be damned if he’d be the cause of another Omega being in their Alpha’s ill favor. He knew what Alphas were like when they got angry and jealous, and he didn’t wish that for Bucky. He’d hoped they could be friends, but, at the end of the day, it was always the Alpha’s decision, wasn’t it?

Bucky tried to return the empty plate to Steve several times, but every time he knocked on the door no one opened and after his third attempt Bucky just placed it down beside the door with a small note attached to it.

The plate was gone the next day, so Steve must've left the flat at some point. Maybe he's busy at work or- Bucky didn't want to believe that Steve actively avoided him. He spent some more time on the fire escape smoking, but Steve didn't show up outside either.

Bucky only knew that Steve was still alive by hearing his other neighbors sometimes talk about him. Like Julio mentioning Steve's upcoming date for his next appointment. He'd offered Steve to accompany him, though Bucky wasn't sure anymore if that wouldn't end up making Steve even more uncomfortable.

Being someone who walked the talk, Bucky wanted Steve to have the option and if he decided that he'd rather go by himself...well, he wasn't gonna take it personally. 

He'd just returned from work, quickly changing into fresh clothes that weren't covered in oil smears. Knocking at Steve's door, Bucky hoped he wasn't too late and that Steve was already on his way.

Steve felt like an asshole. He hated ‘dodging’ people, especially someone as nice as Bucky. But what else could he do? He didn’t want Bucky’s life to be disrupted just because they were friends, no matter how much Steve enjoyed his company. He saw the way Bucky had looked at Dot at the barbeque..granted, Dot never seemed to have the soft eyes back at him. Maybe she was just nicer behind closed doors. The polar opposite of Gilmore, who always made a show of being the perfect Alpha to his small, fragile Omega in public, but had never had the tender streak behind a door. 

Today was a temptation. No part of him wanted to go to this appointment, especially alone. The only other person he felt comfortable asking as Julio and Steve knew the other Omega was already spending all day at his kid’s softball game.

He hadn’t managed anything more than his one allowed cup of coffee today without losing it immediately to the toilet. He was jittery, nervous, and the scent blocker was probably going to last all of an hour with how stressed he was right now. 

Steve instinctively hid his growing stomach under an oversized blue hoodie he’d stolen from Gilmore(take that, asshole) and grimaced at how tight his jeans were getting. He needed to try and start putting money aside for true maternity clothing, but those were expensive. There was no way his work would allow anything with an elastic waistband. Maybe he could head back to the local Goodwill and find something.

The knock on the door nearly sent him through the ceiling. He wasn’t expecting anyone.

Steve adjusted his backpack a little on his shoulders, finished tying his worn tennis shoes, and went to the door. And then promptly had a heart attack.

“Oh, hi Bucky.” He smiled nervously, eyes flicking around to see if Dot was anywhere nearby. Probably not, since Bucky was here.

Bucky halfway expected for the door to stay closed again, despite being fairly certain that he could hear Steve shuffling around inside the apartment. Well, if he didn't want to see him — 

Before Bucky could finish the thought he came face to face with a very surprised looking Steve Rogers, who appeared like he's considering running with how he checked out the hallway for possible routes of escape.

"Hey Steve." Shit, this had probably been a mistake.

"I was just wondering if you wanted backup for your appointment? Julio told me about it and I haven't seen you for a while, so I wasn't sure..." It felt like asking someone out, who's way out of your league and you already knew you're gonna get dumped, but go for it anyway.

"...is everything okay?" He asked all of a sudden upon realizing that he couldn't scent Steve's sugary smell. "Did something happen to the baby?" Bucky didn't even dare to think about it, but if Steve lost the child it would explain why he's taking scent-blockers again.

Crap. Julio was so not getting his scone recipe now. He knew why he’d been avoiding Bucky and the little — That’s what Steve got for making friends apparently!

“Huh?” Confusion flashed over his face a moment. ”Oh, No, everything’s fine I just…” Steve eased out of his apartment and locked the door behind him. ”You know, probably rude to just...let my scent be everywhere. So I’m trying to find a topical blocker that isn’t — awful?” Which wasn’t going so well but hey at least they were working? Getting severely irritated skin constantly probably wasn’t the best thing for pregnancy. His doctor didn’t pay that much attention to him anyway. 

"Everyone knows the reason you're not using it and you really shouldn't if it's messing with your body..." Bucky remarked, still looking low-key worried. Steve had gone without scent-blockers for a while and anyone in this building should be used to the intense scent coming from the third floor by now. It could be worse, at least Steve smelled like candy instead of a sewer in summer.

“And you don’t have to, honestly, it’s just one of like a bunch of these things,” Steve was an awful liar because he looked like he wanted to jump out of a window at the idea of it. Today he had the option of seeing the possible gender for his baby and that just made things so real. More real than the crib, gynecology appointments, and the sore chest made it feel. There was a thing inside of him that would be a fully formed person soon and it was too much.

"You felt pretty low after your last appointment." Bucky felt like a jerk rubbing salt into the wound, but he had a point, hadn't he? Even without Steve's emotions being all over the place in the form of smells Bucky could tell that his neighbor was on the edge, clearly uncomfortable to see his doctor again.

Steve stole a glance towards Bucky’s door,”I don’t think Dolores would like it much, right?” He reminded, just in case Bucky had forgotten. Steve appreciated Bucky being so thoughtful, but going with him on this appointment would be pretty much like going up to Dot and flipping her off.

"...Dot isn't home, and she's not the boss of me." He told Steve, sounding just as grumpy as he probably looked. It was no wonder Steve had gained that specific impression by the way Bucky usually followed her prompts. Truth to be told Dot would definitely not want him to accompany Steve, and they might have another argument about it, but he hoped that she'd eventually grow tired of them and simply accept his friendship with Steve as what it was.

"I want you to make a choice, not thinking about what anyone else would want."

Steve didn’t blame Bucky for sounding cross. Being defensive was pretty natural. He didn’t think Dolores would be anywhere like Gilmore, but well, Gilmore hadn’t liked him hanging out with other people either. Steve had no way of knowing just yet it was just him Dot disliked around Bucky apparently. 

’Not thinking about what anyone else would want’. That was like a fish trying not to be in water, or a bird not to fly. Steve didn’t know if he could even think like that anymore. First he’d been too concerned about caring for his mother. Then being a good Omega for Gilmore. Now, he was worried about putting the needs of his unborn child first. But what he wanted rarely entered into the forefront of his mind. 

Steve hesitated, hints of his almost-blistered skin against his primary scent glands seen when he turned his head against his hoodie. 

Staring at someone else's scent glands was kinda rude, but it was hard for Bucky to turn an eye to the irritated looking skin. Steve shouldn't have to harm himself like that just to spare someone else a lot less discomfort.

Did Steve want to go to this appointment? No. He’d rather swallow live bees. But, could he really be that selfish? He should assure Bucky he was fine. He was a grown ass man, he should be able to do this. Except he wasn’t able to do this. He didn’t even know if he could get to the front door without the threat of tears like this. 

“I would willingly bare-knuckle fight a bear if it meant not going to this fucking appointment alone,” He admitted with a rush,”I’m going to find out the maybe-gender and if my stupid fucked up DNA is messing something up and there’s a very real chance I’ll punch the doctor if he asks one more time where the father of this kid is.”

"Please don't fight a bear.", Bucky replied with a lopsided smile, because he could vividly imagine the scenario. "I'm gonna hold you back if necessary." He added with a small chuckle. The last thing Steve needed was a medical bill on top of a charge for assaulting his doctor.

"C'mon let's get it over with." The sooner they made it to the office, getting answers the sooner Steve could go back home and settle down. 

It was rather mild outside and under different circumstances Bucky would have suggested taking his bike. He wasn't even wearing a jacket over his shirt, yet Steve seemed to be cold, despite his baggy sweater.

Steve shrugged a little deeper into his hoodie when they stepped outside. Even the pleasant weather with a little chill made Steve want to curl back into bed. He always had trouble staying warm, but pregnancy had just made it awful. His body couldn’t decide what it wanted to do. Warm in the morning, and freezing all other times. Maybe if he had any body fat on him, he’d fair better, but as it was, that didn’t look like it would happen any time soon.

“Thanks, again, for the vitamins by the way. I feel a lot less awful now that the bun isn’t siphoning everything from the oven.” He smirked lightly. ”Hopefully they’ll check my levels and get off my case today.” Fat chance of that, he was still mainly eating carbs and yogurt. He could tolerate bland fruit cocktails, which were a happy addition. It helped that he’d gotten a deal on a five-for-four deal, so he had five massive jars of the stuff safely tucked away in his pantry. His Ma always told him to shop thrifty. 

"You and your bun are very welcome.", Bucky replied with a chuckle regarding the metaphor Steve had come up with. "I'm sure they've improved." There weren't many empty seats on the bus left and Bucky insisted that Steve should sit down while he kept standing beside him, making sure no one accidentally bumped into him.

Getting on the bus was a bit of a relief, plopping down with a quiet yawn.”How’ve you been? How’s Dolores?” He felt it right to ask, since he didn’t want to look like he was openly hostile towards Bucky’s girlfriend.

"I'm good, work’s keeping me busy. Gotta fix a vintage bike." He told Steve without going into details that probably didn't interest him. "Dot is preparing for the premier of her play. Big night next week. Did you find some fabric for the crib?" Steve had mentioned his ma's old sewing machine and hopefully it was still functioning. It also felt like a safer topic instead of talking about his girlfriend. Dot wasn't Steve's biggest fan and Steve wasn't dumb, so he had probably caught up on the fact by now, but they didn't have to become best friends in order to get along as neighbors.

Steve had to remember to ask Bucky more about his job when he wasn’t worried about anxiety-sweating through his deodorant. Bucky and Dot seemed so interesting. Bucky was so handy and an apparent cook to boot, and Dolores was frighteningly driven. There were many impressive individuals in the quaint apartment building, people Steve admired. He wanted to be that industrious, but he was struggling to keep up these days. 

“I finished it last week,” Steve beamed proudly,”I can show you when we get back? I couldn’t decide on fabric, so I ended up making a quilted pattern and honestly, I’m amazed I didn’t stab myself more than I did.” He laughed, since he’d sported a few band aids that week his boss hadn’t been all that appreciative of.

Arriving at the doctor's office Bucky was glad Steve had an appointment and didn't just come here on a whim since the waiting room was packed with people in various stages of pregnancy and their partners. Someone was called up, and they immediately went for the two vacant seats. 

And that's how Bucky ended up sitting beside an Alpha that smelled like horseradish. He somehow managed not to grimace at the strong, stinging scent clogging up his nose and kept a mostly blank expression. Jesus, he just hoped the guy's partner had a different perception of his scent or had gotten immune to it over time, because Bucky definitely wouldn't want to be with someone who smelled like that. He just wanted to bury his face in Steve's neck to get a whiff of caramel and fresh apples again...

Steve’s good mood faded as soon as they entered the clinic, and he pressed instinctively closer to Bucky as they sat down. He could smell the Alpha next to Bucky, sharp, spicy, and wholly unpleasant. There was little escape from it, even with the ocean-water and coconut scent of another Omega across the room as a slight buffer. 

He sneezed, snuffling slightly. He couldn’t stand strong Alpha scents like these. Even Gilmore’s had made his lungs prickle when he got angry or if he was in full rut. 

Not for the first time, Steve wondered what Bucky smelled like. Horribly inappropriate, but he couldn’t help himself when he was trying to distract his nose away from the stinking Alpha.

It felt like it took an eternity to get called up even though they didn’t have to wait long in the grand scheme of the room. Steve all but fled to the nurse, who directed Bucky to wait for Steve in exam room five while she drew blood from Steve and got a urine sample.

Switching from the uncomfortable plastic chair in the waiting room to the one in the exam room Bucky just let his gaze wander with nothing else to occupy his time until Steve and the doc arrived. There's a cross section of a fake stomach and to reveal the baby inside, layers of tissues and what Bucky assumed must be organs. Out of curiosity he took out the baby, accidentally causing the rest of the intestines to fall out and spread all over the floor. 

"Oh fuck." He cursed under his breath and hastily tried to stuff everything back inside. The baby was the most stubborn part, refusing to stay in its designated spot. He was still desperately trying to hold everything inside with both hands when the doctor entered the room, giving him a resigned look. Apparently he wasn't the first person to mess with the mockup.

"Just leave it on the table." Bucky was instructed before sitting down, wisely keeping his hands to himself. "From the previous appointments it didn't sound like you're gonna show up, but I'm glad you've changed your mind, Mr Hodge."

"Uh- I'm not. James Barnes, I'm a friend of Steve." He officially introduced himself to the doctor. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you're his Alpha", came the immediate apology, that Bucky casually waved off. It was more common to show up with your partner instead of the neighbor from next door. "It's fine, that jerk doesn't know what he's missing."

Steve was feeling a little more harrowed than usual after suffering through peeing in a cup and getting his blood drawn. The nurses had assumed as much as the Doctor that Bucky was the infamous Gilmore Hodge. Worse was the looks given when he interjected to correct them. No no, just a kind friend. He knew they meant well, but he could do without the sympathy in their eyes. He wondered how many Omegas they saw in a day that were like him. Hopefully they were rare.

By the time he shuffled into the exam room, rubbing the bandage on his arm, he was ready to leave. Unfortunately, they’d just started.

He smiled wanly at Bucky as he hopped up on the exam table. The doctor swooped in readily while the nurse set up the ultrasound.

It was too much to ask for the doctor not to notice his scent glands when hands were applied to his neck.”Mr Rogers, we’ve already established you’re allergic to typical suppressants, why are you wearing them?”

Steve flushed, wishing he could tuck his head into his hoodie like a turtle. ”The apartment complex has thin walls..”

“Still, discontinue them. You could get an infection,” The verdict was dolled out swiftly. 

Bucky was glad that the doc told Steve the same he had beforehand and hopefully Steve would listen to them. The last thing he needed was an infection on top of the growing troubles he already suffered. Shit, Bucky hadn't expected the list of complications to be a whole novel. Steve's body really didn't seem to be suitable to carry a child.

Of course, that was only the beginning. Steve had forgotten how many invasive questions there were at these things or else he wouldn’t have subjected Bucky to them.

How was his chest? Fine, but tender. Any abnormal hormonal spikes? A few. The doctor assured him it was probably still just being unmated and pregnant, his body wanting the stability of another. Any abnormal bleeding? None. Appetite? Still awful and still throwing up. The doctor didn’t like that answer and wrote a script for nausea medication Steve wouldn’t fill because he didn’t have the money to pay for it. His work’s insurance barely covered these visits.

The more Steve talked, the more apparent it became that he had downplaying his problems to an artform. 

Which was probably why the nurse piped up with a friendly smile towards Bucky. ”What about you Sir? You’re around Papa-to-be right? Notice anything Mr Rogers might have forgotten?”

Bucky listened closely while at the same time trying not to show his growing concern. Steve looked uneasy enough for both of them. He felt caught off guard when the nurse suddenly addressed him instead of Steve and asking for further information. Sure, Steve and he hung out sometimes, but he hadn't seen or talked to him for the last weeks, so a lot could've happened since their scone dinner.

"No, I think that's all of it." He merely confirmed. The fact that Steve was constantly freezing had probably nothing to do with the baby, but his low weight and lack of body fat. Bucky got quickly distracted by the black screen flickering to life, showing the inside of Steve's stomach. The image was a bit grainy; it was hard to tell what was up and down. The nurse paused in her sweeping motions, holding the device over a certain part of Steve's exposed skin and then there it was. A small white blob.

Bucky was out of his chair without thinking to take a closer look and make out some details. Well, he definitely couldn't tell the gender. The baby was so tiny...

“Let’s see,” As the nurse roved the device around his stomach Steve grimaced. It wasn’t the best feeling on earth, especially when it pressed just above his bladder. Urine test or not, the sensation wasn’t pleasant. Every month this would get more and more uncomfortable, according to the internet. Granted, everything about being pregnant was going to get worse. He was afraid for his center of balance when and if he got to the end of it.

Steve reacted to Bucky before the nurse got a chance to prompt him.

He sucked in a startled breath, staring at the screen with wide, shell-shocked eyes. He could see it. The little wiggle of its fragile form as the nurse looked around for whatever she was trying to find. 

“See? There’s its little head, and their little arms and legs.” The Nurse cooed as the doctor stepped out until this portion of the exam was done. “Let’s see if we can see what you came here to see, huh?”

Bless this woman for being kind and bubbly, but Steve couldn’t return her pleased smile. All he saw was the small life inside of him. The baby that depended on him. One he never expected or thought he would ever have. It took a few more minutes longer before the nurse perked in triumph. ”They weren’t making it easy on me. Ready to know?” She smiled, and Steve nodded numbly. ”Congratulations Mr Rogers, you’re going to have a baby girl.”

"Congratulations, Steve! Now you can start looking for a name." Bucky voiced cheerfully, full on beaming, assuming that Steve was still working through the news by how overwhelmed he looked.

"Hey, can you print a picture to take home for him?" He asked the nurse before she was starting to clean up. Steve could pin it to his fridge or something or use it for his photo book if he wanted to start one. It didn't even occur to Bucky that Steve might not want a picture. If it were Bucky's baby he would get a picture for his wallet, so he'd be able to show it to his friends at work as well. Only seemed fair after all those photos he'd seen of their children over the years.

"So she's fine, all healthy? No gills?" Bucky asked the nurse just to make sure they weren't overlooking something important. They'd probably have to wait for the results of the blood tests, but she didn't look bad floating around and there's definitely a heartbeat. God, this was so exciting, he couldn't wait to-

A bit of his euphoria started to fade when remembering that Dot didn't want a baby yet. He'd have to wait a few more years until he could have the gender reveal of his baby...

The Nurse cheerfully complied and snapped a few stills from the feed before she started to clean up. ”All limbs are accounted for and nothing looks out of the ordinary visibly, need to wait for the blood tests to make sure.” She cautioned, especially considering how long Steve’s medical charts were. 

Consciously, Steve was aware of the things that were going on around him. Bucky looked more than happy for him, the nurse was her usual nice self, and a small packet of pictures was pressed into his hand at some point. 

Even when the doctor returned to give the results of his test, he must have made the appropriate noises. His vitamin levels were better, but he was still too severely underweight, his hormones weren’t where they should be, and his kidney and liver functions weren’t ideal. Considering his battles with B12 deficient anemia, that wasn’t surprising. He needed to do this, or that. Mostly things he couldn’t afford or didn’t have time to do because of his job. He was still a high risk pregnancy and high-risk delivery. He would probably have to be put on bed rest early, so he should account for that. Like he could possibly do that. 

Bucky shifted his focus back to the doctor and the precautions Steve had to take the to-do list didn't get any smaller, but at least there were opportunities for Steve to improve his future results. Being able to eat more regularly thanks to the pills sounded like a big step in the right direction. Steve had fallen mostly silent when Bucky led him out of the room, briefly bidding goodbye to the doctor and nurse.

It wasn’t until he stepped out of the room that the white noise began to truly take over. He looked down at his hands, at the yellow folder that contained the slides, and he reeled. He was going to have the baby girl of someone who’d thrown him away. Someone he’d spent two years of his life with. He was barely making it as it was, and there was still so much. 

Too much. 

The sheer, all-consuming panic started to bleed through the scent blocker. 

Steve took one shuddered breath, and booked it down the hallway. 

"Wanna grab a bite? Cake to celebrate? I know a cozy, little place...hey Steve are you-" The next moment Steve was racing down the hallway as if the devil himself was on his heels. Dumbfounded Bucky stared after him, trying to understand the situation while everyone in the waiting room more or less subtly glanced his way. They must be thinking that they'd gotten bad news, but the opposite was the case, so why did Steve react as if he'd gotten a cancer diagnosis?

It was a small miracle no one was in the bathroom Steve burst into. Getting into the back stall with the door locked felt like a small consolation, but at least he could plop himself down on the bleached floor and heave panicked, watery breaths without anyone’s eyes on him.

Following after Steve, Bucky walked into the direction he'd disappeared, quickly finding the restroom and quietly stepped inside. No one else was around, and he could hear hitched breathing from the last stall, which was also the only one being currently locked up. Drawing closer Bucky came to a stop in front of the door. Steve's scent was back full force despite the scent-blockers, but it had none of its usual sweetness.

"Steve? Do you need anything?" He asked carefully, since the question 'are you alright?', seemed stupid under the current circumstances. Steve was obviously upset and Bucky didn't know what to do in order to calm him down.

"It's a lot to take in...step by step, remember? You've finished the crib, your vitamin levels improved, you're getting there. It's gonna be fine, Steve." He tried to reassure him in a gentle voice.

Steve wrapped his hands around the back of his neck and kept his head to his knees, willing and failing to keep himself breathing evenly. The chittering panic that steadily built every time he came to one of these appointments finally caught up to him, splitting him open at the worst possible moment. 

Despite Bucky not being able to see him, he shook his head. ”No it won’t,” He argued with a gasp.”Fucking christ. I-I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.” He spat out, eyes clenched tight as fought back tears.”I gave that bastard two years of my life, and he just — bails. He kicked me out! How am I that stupid?” He wanted to believe in the best in people, even if the evidence was staring him right in the face. 

"You're not stupid, you just wanted it to work out." Breaking up after only a few weeks or months was easy, but after a year or so you started to get really attached. Leaving could become a rather scary option, knowing you had to start up from 0 again and what if there wasn't anyone better out there? 

So yes, Bucky could understand why Steve hadn't been the one dumping Gilmore, despite his awful behavior. He'd forced Steve to have unprotected sex and maybe there's been occasions Steve hadn't been willing to sleep with him, but that wasn't something he should be asking Steve right now when he already hit rock bottom. All Bucky knew was that if he ever came across that guy he'd punch in his face and hand Steve whatever he found in his wallet. Steve deserved compensation for what his ex had done to him.

Steve wanted to argue. Wanted to outline every instance Gilmore’s attitude had made him balk. Reconsider. But he’d never gone through with it. Staying with Gilmore was the only option at the time. He didn’t have the cash to hire a disability lawyer, and he barely had the work history to qualify anyway. He thought he could get on it if he had the time, money, and patience, but there had never been enough time.

And God, Gilmore would have never let him anyway. A boyfriend of his ‘freeloading’ off the state? It didn’t matter that Steve’s body was barely keeping itself together.

“I’m not even supposed to be able to have children, Bucky! I just — I was careful anyway you know? Just in case? But that was never fucking enough for him. He had to control everything I did, even my heats.” He was fast losing the battle against his tears, angry, bitter things. 

“I can’t — I can’t do this. I hate it. I don’t want to hate my chil — God, my daughter.” He should start looking into adoption agencies, but he knew if he did that it would break everything in him. As much as he was afraid, he couldn’t imagine handing his daughter away. It was selfish and stupid because he didn’t want to do this alone. He couldn’t do this alone as he was. He just wasn’t enough.

“What kind of life can I give her?” He was going to get fired the moment his boss could find a reason outside of ‘Pregnant Omega’. He barely had any savings, and barely had anything he needed for the baby. He couldn’t afford child care. Not to mention his own health was tenuous at best. There were so many things stacked against him he couldn’t see over them.

He was scared. More terrified than the instances in his life where he and his mother had briefly been homeless. When his health waned so deeply he was afraid he wouldn’t live to see another day. Or when he clutched his backpack a few months ago, sitting at a bus stop with Gilmore’s words freshly buzzing around his head.

Steve’s arms slid down to his stomach, and he cried. It wasn’t the hormonal worry he’d shed into his blankets before, but the bone-deep terror of someone who was at the end of their rope and about to break under the pressure of it all.

Bucky believed that Steve hated his current situation, but not his baby. If he really did, he could've found a way -legal or not to get rid of her. She might be the only good thing coming out of this fucked up relationship, though it was hard to see for Steve right now.

"Your ma found a way, didn't she? You're her blood, you're gonna get through this." Bucky wished he could make more concrete promises to take some pressure off Steve. 

Steve was going to end up making himself sick or give himself an asthma attack if he kept on, but he couldn’t stop. He just —

"You're not alone." That's the one thing he could swear by. He wasn't going to turn a blind eye on Steve's problems even if he wasn't his family or childhood friend. "I'm right here, ain't gonna leave without you."

How could Bucky even say things like that? Bucky didn’t know him. Bucky had pretty much only seen him at his worst, and yet he still acted so supportive and kind. Steve didn’t know what he’d done to deserve it.

Steve’s hand slapped out to grope briefly around the door until he could reach up and unlock the door. An offer and a plea for Bucky to come to him. Even if Bucky just stood there, it would be nice to have someone next to him that didn’t want something from him. That didn’t expect anything.

Hearing Steve fumble with the lock Bucky waited until the gap was big enough for him to slip through. He crouched down in front of him since the stall wasn't big enough to settle beside Steve, carefully tugging him against his chest in an attempt to comfort the distressed Omega.

He was a tear-streaked, red-faced mess. He probably smelled like burnt sugar, fog, and God knows what else, but he trusted Bucky to be here. Why, he had no idea, but he just...Bucky was safe. That’s all he needed right now.

Steve tipped forward against Bucky, resisting the urge to cling for all of a few minutes before he flung his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and buried himself close. He was probably soaking Bucky’s shirt through, but not even that mortification could stop him now. He’d apologize later. 

Bucky distantly heard someone else entering the restroom, quickly realizing that they're having a moment and decided against taking a piss next to them. "Breath...gotta breath for me, Stevie." He reminded him when the wheezing and stuttered intakes of air got momentarily worse again.

Stevie. That...that was a new one. If it had been anyone else he might have popped him for it, but right now the soft nickname felt so soothing. Like a friend. He stuttered a slower breath, forcing himself to take deeper and deeper ones until it didn’t sound like he would hyperventilate if he kept on. 

He cried until he physically couldn’t anymore. The cold of the clinic and the floor seeped into his bones, shivering up his spine despite the warmth Bucky’s body offered. Gilmore never held him, only after a rut had he really held him possessively. It felt good just to be held again. 

It smelled like someone had forgotten a pot filled with sugar on the stove. Bucky almost expected Steve's skin to start smoking. Time passed but no one came looking for them and Bucky was willing to sit on the tiles for as long Steve needed to get a hold of himself. The floor was pretty cold though, and he was fairly sure he could feel the smaller man shiver in his embrace. Bucky just wanted to wrap him up in blankets and make him drink a cup of tea or ten.

"Wanna go home?"

Swallowing, Steve nodded weakly. He was exhausted. Hunger clawed at his stomach, and he wanted to drink until he could replenish all the liquid he’d cried onto Bucky’s shoulder. His spot on his couch was calling him name, and even if he half hated the prison of his home half the time, it was all he had. All that felt safe.

“Sorry,” He muttered quietly, turning his puffy, watery gaze up at Bucky miserably.

"Hey no apologizing.", Bucky told him, keeping his voice low. Steve didn't have to feel sorry for crying on the fire escape, and he didn't have to feel bad about it now. This might not be the last time, and he should know that he didn't have to hold back around him.

Bucky helped him to get up, making sure that Steve was standing on his own before letting go. The last thing they needed was a hospital visit. They should head for a pharmacy tho and pick up Steve's medicine.

Steve knew he'd never gone anything in his life to deserve a neighbor — and friend, like Bucky Barnes. Bucky hadn't judged him this entire time, even though Steve was pretty sure Bucky had only seen him not be a complete and utter wreck one time at the barbeque. Maybe the scone visit counted. All other times he was either threatening to puke, pass out, or crying. Which...well felt like a representation of pregnancy, honestly.

He let Bucky gather him up, and Steve didn't even try to protest that he needed Bucky to lean against. He felt shaky and exhausted, and probably needed to eat half a day's calories to just get back to a semblance of stasis again.

Bucky let him freshen up a bit by washing his face before leading him out of the restroom. It was still clearly visible that he'd cried, but the redness started to fade from his face. He'd picked up the prescription and printed photos Steve had dropped at some point while they quietly left the office. 

"Wanna pick up some ice cream?" Bucky asked, since it had been one of Steve's comfort foods last time and a popular choice in general when you wanted to drown your feelings and get a sugar rush for a while. 

Steve looked up at Bucky, and a faintly dreamy look bloomed in his tear-reddened eyes. "There...is an ice cream and waffle place two blocks from the apartment building? I go there when I have a few dollars left over after rent," Which was a rare occurrence, and he knew he should be saving that money, but the four-dollar diabetic-coma inducing bowl of ice cream topped with a fresh waffle was the only treat he really allowed himself. He certainly didn't need to spend the money now, but today couldn't get much worse. He needed at least some endorphins.

"Must be new, I've never noticed the place before, but it sounds great." They're gonna get some waffles and ice cream, because the biggest advantage of being an adult was being allowed to eat what you want every damn hour of the day. Sweets for dinner sounded amazing.

Bucky gave Steve a choice regarding the food, but when Steve protested against the medicine Bucky just told him that it was necessary and pulled out his wallet to pay for it. Steve needed to gain weight for himself and the baby. He couldn't do that if he felt constantly sick and threw up his food, which was bad for his throat and teeth too.

"Buck-- No you don't, honestly, please--" Steve tried his best to protest against Bucky buying his medication. Thirty dollars wasn't pennies, especially in this day and age. Guilt churned in his gut, and he aimed the most pathetic look he could summon at Bucky. Not that it helped. The nice jerk still went ahead and handed over the card.

"Just promise me you're gonna take them." Bucky requested, handing him the small, white package filled with pills. "Those are 30 bucks I won't be able to spend on cigarettes.", Bucky argued with Steve, resisting those woeful, blue eyes.

Steve accepted the package with the same cautious consideration as he had the vitamins, as if he was holding something fragile and precious.

"I will," He agreed quietly, brows furrowing.

"Why are you so nice to me?" He blurted a moment later, "I mean, Shit, I appreciate it. You have no idea how much...but why?" In his experience, no matter how much he'd tried putting his all into people, they never gave anything back. Gilmore had taken what felt like the lion's share of Steve, and he didn't know if he'd ever heal from that. What could Bucky possibly be getting out of this? Or was Steve really being that pathetic? Was it pity? Sympathy? Or was Bucky just that good of a person?

"I like to think I'm a good judge of character and I like to surround myself with decent people. My family and I used to live in a pod-like community, so this comes more 'natural' to me than it might seem for you." Bucky tried to explain his reasons and the lack of an ulterior motive.

"One day something might happen and I'm gonna need your help with something. It's always good to have friends you can rely on." Bucky remarked with a shrug. They didn't have to wait for long and the bus had more free seats this time, so Bucky could sit beside Steve.

Steve sat a little closer to Bucky than strictly necessary, but for once he wasn’t going to deny his biology. His Omegahood screamed for someone he trusted to be nearby, and he gave in. Even if he couldn’t get the scents of a nonexistent pod on him, this was a great second best. He already felt more grounded and calm just by the slight contact of their shoulders.

Friends. Bucky called them friends, not just neighbors. The identifier wasn’t lost on him. It had been a damn long time since he had one of those. 

“Anything you need, Buck. You’ve been — Without you and Julio, I wouldn’t have gotten this far.” He admitted with a brittle smile,”I’m not good for much, but anything I can ever do, I promise I’ll do it.” He said it as an oath, a fierce loyalty lurking under his skin that spoke of a more fiery nature Gilmore had suppressed for years. 

Once again Steve's words made it obvious how little he thought of himself and his abilities, when he had no reason to. As far as Bucky could tell he's a great cook and baker, had assembled, sanded and painted the crib without Bucky's help and could sew quilts. Half of those might not be survival skills, but they weren't worthless either.

“I always wanted a pod. We had something close, growing up, but everyone still tried to keep to themselves in the boarding house. Still, it was nice to live around all the scents for a little while. Before we got kicked out,” Steve was too tired to put the usual filter he used when talking about his childhood. He never wanted pity. He wouldn’t stand for it.

"It seems to be an outdated concept and most of them exist outside of the big cities..." Bucky felt rather privileged that he'd grown up in such a tight-knit community, wishing there had been one for Steve and his ma too. It made life a lot easier and not all traditions needed to be replaced through modern advancement.

"I've only ever lived in the city," Steve admitted. He was a child of the concrete jungle. It was all he ever knew. He' never had a yard, tire swing ,or even his own bedroom growing up. He would like to know what it was like, maybe. To not be somewhere the pollution was thick, and the sun got to his windows without being filtered through a billboard. It felt like a far off dream, but he guessed that's why people had dreams to start with.

It was a real tragedy, Steve being stuck in the city all his life. Sure, lots of people couldn't see the appeal of the countryside, the lack of supermarkets, fashion shops at every corner and buses instead of trains. Maybe they didn't care for stargazing and lazing in the meadow, plucking fresh fruits straight from the trees. Bucky had experienced both, the down and ups of both lifestyles, and he liked to be in the city, yet at some point he'd want to watch his kids grow up farther away from the asphalt streets and skyscrapers.

It didn’t take long to reach the little shop Steve spoke of. One that smelled of sugar and fresh, warm pastry as soon as they walked in. The interior was decorated in pale cream, wood and plush cushions, soft and hazy to the eyes. The perfect small place to sit, relax, and unwind with a mound of sugar at your fingertips.

Bucky took an instant liking to the waffle shop, and he was barely able to keep Steve's scent and the smell of freshly baked goods apart. They just mixed seamlessly together and no one could be bothered by it. Two big chalkboards were hanging behind the cash register, informing about today's specials, toppings and prices. There were so many possible combinations and if the food tasted as delicious as it sounded he's gonna become a regular. Waffle Wednesday.

"If this is a dream, please don't wake me until I've eaten it." Bucky uttered, sounding as rapt as someone would when entering a church and marvel at the fresco paintings. "Want some water first for your meds and then pick our order?"

As happy as Steve was to have a sinful treat, seeing Bucky so enthralled returned his smile. As hostile as the city was, he did love small places like this that were off the beaten path. He had favorite restaurants when his appetite and wallet allowed. Cheap places that served good food because they knew it in and out. Maybe Bucky would like the old Irish pub his Ma used to bus tables for on her days off from the hospital. They had never minded if he sat at a back booth with his homework. He'd been a quiet kid after all.

Steve hummed a small note of resignation. "Probably a good idea," They were kind enough to get him a glass of water instead of making him pay for a water bottle, and he shuffled over to a table to get his pills out of his backpack again. Blessedly, he got to break them in half considering his weight or else he didn't think he could have swallowed it. The brief bitter touch of the medicine on his tongue scrunched up his face, soon chased with a few big gulps of water. 

"Thanks again, this — It means a lot." Steve looked down at the bottle of pills in his hand, holding them like a lifeline. Maybe he wouldn't feel so awful if he could just keep some food down for a week or two.

"Let me know if there's any way I can make it up? Okay?" Steve didn't want to keep taking and taking from Bucky. He wanted to be a good friend in return, he just didn't know how.

"I have some work clothes that need to be patched up, but it's nothing urgent..." Dot used to fix the small holes and ripped seams, but she'd been busy for a while and it didn't bother Bucky enough to do it himself. Threading a needle would take him more time than the actual sewing and the last time he'd tried to reattach a button it popped off the next day. 

Steve looked up from the menu,"Yeah, I could do that easy." He was a little rusty after living with Gilmore, but he'd managed the quilt easier than expected. Work clothes and buttons would be a cake walk. His mother had taught him how to make clothes(thank God, he'd need to remember those skills for the baby) just to be frugal. At the time he'd hated it, not wanting to have all of these traditional Omega skills, but now he wished he could have hugged his mother one more time and cried his gratitude. Her wisdom was one of the few things that kept him afloat.

"Bring them over anytime." A subtle wave of that pleased Omega smell leaked into his scent, the scent-blocker all but eroded by now.

"Will do, but like I said no need to hurry." The last thing Bucky wanted was putting more pressure on Steve's slim shoulders when he's already carrying so much. It helped that his work clothes were mostly jeans, shirts and cheap overalls, so he had plenty left even when giving half of them to Steve. He might have a little clothes hoarding problem...

"Alright, let's see..." Bucky voiced before taking a look at the laminated menu on the table. "I'm gonna be basic and take the vanilla waffles.", he stated his first decision, which was the easiest part considering how many ice cream flavors to choose from. "Oh God, they have toffee crumble."

Steve chuckled quietly at Bucky's dilemma,"I think I'm going strawberry waffle with lavender ice cream." It felt fancy and it looked even prettier when it came out garnished in mint leaves and a rolled cookie on top. Steve's appetite was already growing just at the memory of it.

"Lavender? Doesn't that taste like soap?" Bucky asked in confusion, since he'd never tried to eat something flavored like a flower. It seemed to be a popular choice for detergents though and his ma once told him it kept certain insects away. Didn't sound like the ideal ingredient for ice cream, but he wasn't gonna talk Steve out of it.

“What? No,” Steve laughed,”I wouldn’t eat anything that tastes like soap,” He rolled his eyes lightly, “It just tastes, nice?” He couldn’t really describe what it was like without someone knowing what lavender tasted of to start with. He would just have to force a bite off on Bucky.

"I'm gonna take coffee sauce for an extra kick." Having decided for a topping as well they send to be ready to order. A small sign on the door informed customers that there were no waiters, so they had to order up front.

"I got it." Bucky assured Steve, not wanting him to get up again when he'd just settled down. Sure he wasn't that pregnant yet, but it wasn't a big deal, and he could memorize both of their orders without breaking a sweat.

Steve scrambled to shove his wallet at Bucky as the other made to get up. He’d gladly accept being able to stay seated, but he’d be damned if he just let Bucky pay for him again. He couldn’t do much once Bucky was up there and paying, but he would watch him the entire time. Something told him that wouldn’t make much of a difference, yet he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. He wasn’t a charity case...not that charity was bad! He just — he could do this. Mostly.

Bucky accepted Steve's wallet with an eye roll and paid the tip for the food, taking care of the rest, earning himself an amused smile from the girl and a thank you. Their waffles would be ready in a few minutes, and she'd bring them over since it wasn't very busy at the moment.

Steve pointedly ignored the eye roll. His ma used to say he could outlast heaven and hell with his stubborn streak. It had weakened over the past few years, yet he could still put up a decent fight when he needed to. He didn’t want Bucky thinking he needed more than his fair share in life. He technically had enough money to eat and pay rent. He’d lived through tighter situations that this before. Rogers persevered.

"Would you like a free soy cream sample with your order?" The lady behind the counter asked.

"You had me at free." Bucky returned with a grin, briefly turning to Steve for approval. "Soy cream?"

“I don’t know what soy cream is but sure,” Steve smiled, leaning back in his seat to relax a little after the trying day. He didn’t notice the other girl working there softly cooing to her co-worker. As an Alpha used to the desert smell in the shop, she didn’t have that hard of a time picking out Steve’s pregnancy scent in the small store. It was a little harder for an older teenager to ignore than an adult, but at least she wasn’t unkind about it. If anything, it only made her resolve to give them extra toppings. 

Now that his medicine was settling in, and they were away from the sterile environment of the doctor’s office, he didn’t feel as horrible about the idea of eating. Maybe he’d even fix a proper meal later after a nap if the sugar-binge didn’t fill him to the brim. Maybe Bucky — No...once they were back at the apartments it was probably best he immediately go back home. He really didn’t want Dot to get mad at Bucky for this, and he could only imagine. He hoped Bucky would spray himself down and wash his clothes since the scent-blocker had worn off Steve's neck.

Returning to his seat opposite of Steve Bucky noted that the omega looked much better again already. Could the pills work that fast? Or maybe he's just relieved to be away from the doctor and close to his home. "How are you feeling?" He finally dared to ask the dreaded question, wanting to make sure Steve wasn't just holding it together for him. 

“A little, the pills are supposed to be quick-dissolve, so I think they’re taking the edge off already.” It left an awful, chalky taste in his mouth but it was better than say — puke. He’d take bitter pills over that any day. 

Bucky placed the pictures of the baby beside him, so Steve didn't have to constantly look at them and get anxious. Pinning them to his fridge might not be the best idea after all. 

Their waffles arrived, looking almost too good to be eaten, but Bucky was weak and hungry for some sugar to clog up his veins. "Enjoy!" Bucky told Steve, picking up a spoon to dig into the ice cream.

Steve’s brows faintly scrunched together when he noticed the extra rolled cookie and a bit of crispy honeycomb added to his desert. A brief glance behind the counter at the Alpha-teenager solved that mystery quickly. She looked embarrassed to be caught mid provider-instinct. She meant well, and honestly after today the kind gesture was appreciated, even if it was just because he was pregnant. 

He smiled at her to show his thanks and turned back to Bucky with a quietly amused chuckle. It was probably one of the better interactions he’s had with an Alpha since getting knocked up.

"Looks like you have an admirer." Bucky commented playfully, ripping off a piece of waffle to scoop it up with some of the cream.

Steve stuck his tongue out childishly at Bucky for the tease. Little teenagers like that could hardly control their instincts, let alone deal with an unmated pregnant Omega scenting all over the place. He was lucky the poor girl kept her prodiver-instinct that innocuous. He didn’t want her getting in trouble. 

"Good?" Bucky asked regarding the pleased noises Steve uttered.

Steve hummed around his first bite, letting the sweet, floral flavors melt against his tongue. ”Here, try it, it doesn’t taste like soap.”

Swallowing his own bite first Bucky tried the faintly purple colored lavender ice cream. It was a very distinct flavor that couldn't be compared with anything else he'd eaten before. "Dunno...it's kinda sweet, but not really? Very confusing for my taste buds." At least it didn't taste like soap.

"You wanna try mine?" He offered in return, pushing the plate towards Steve. His dessert tasted a lot sweeter, but the coffee syrup helped to balance everything out. Oh wait, was Steve allowed to eat stuff that might contain caffeine? Surely the topping didn't contain as much as an actual coffee, so it should be fine. He'd take the blame if Steve's daughter turned out to be hyperactive.

“That’s why I like it, too much sweet kind of sicks me out. I might want to eat a whole tub of Moose-tracks by myself, but my body never agrees with that decision. Stuff like this is safer,” Even with that said, he still took Bucky up on his offer to try a bite, humming appreciatively as he licked the remaining coffee syrup from the spoon. ”But that is really good.”

"I like soy cream, it's sweeter than the regular one." Bucky stated just when his phone started to ring. "Sorry, I gotta get this.", Bucky apologized to Steve, immediately recognizing the ringtone as the one he'd picked for Dot.

Steve’s reply lodged in his throat when Bucky looked at his phone. Even without Bucky saying, Steve could guess who it was. Did Bucky realize he sometimes got a look when Dot was mentioned or interaction was incoming? One that reminded Steve a whole lot of uncomfortable interactions he’d had himself. One that said you were bracing for disappointment or even a verbal altercation. He had no doubt in his mind by now that Dot didn’t notice the kind of sweet, caring man Bucky was. Or if she had, she’d forgotten a long time ago.

"Hey babe." Bucky greeted her like usual, though he couldn't help feeling a little...guilty?

"Where are you, Bucky? I've brought us sushi."

"Oh, I wasn't sure you're gonna be around. I'm having waffles." With Steve.

Didn’t most couples coordinate their schedules a little? He knew Julio and Dan had a day-planner on their fridge. Maybe they were different because they had kids. Steve wasn’t going to count how Gilmore had policed his day. Steve never knew when Gilmore was coming or going, and had just learned how to map out Gilmore’s schedule mentally by observation.

Steve pretended like he couldn’t hear the conversation, nibbling at his honey waffle. Guilt built in his stomach, adding a metallic tang to the sweet warmth around them. He wished he could smell Bucky in these moments, to know how to properly offer words of comfort.

"Alright, then I guess I'm gonna eat without you." Despite her voice sounding kinda unconcerned Bucky could tell that she's hurt.

"I'm sorry, we can still eat — " She hung up before he could finish his sentence and Bucky tried very hard to appear unfazed in front of Steve, merely grinding his teeth. God, he hated when she did that.

“Do you need to get going? I know the bus schedules, so I’ll be okay,” Steve didn’t want Bucky to hang around if Dot was at home waiting on him.

"No, it's fine." Bucky told Steve with a wry smile, pointedly taking another bite of his ice. Dot was cross with him already, and he didn't want to walk out on Steve. If she'd texted him or called sooner he could've gotten a waffle to go or something for Steve. It wasn't his fault Dot decided to show up back home earlier than usual. And it definitely wasn't Steve's fault either.

Steve didn’t look at all convinced. He was fluent in the language of ‘It’s fine’, a master in it. If he had a dollar for every time he’d lied and said ‘it’s fine’, he wouldn’t be worrying about next week’s grocery budget, that’s for damn sure.

The dessert seemed to taste not as sweet as before, which was probably just Bucky’s imagination. Maybe the looming threat of another fight once he got home. Bucky had pondered the idea of not telling Dot about the appointment with Steve and drench himself in scent-neutralizer. He'd gotten a stronger one, since the previous can hadn't done much good. 

"She's just stressed 'cause of the premiere next week and the director being a dick.", Bucky found himself justifying his girlfriend's behavior. The play was a big deal to her and the review might decide if she's getting more roles in the future.

Standing and performing in front of a big crowd was a lot of pressure even if it was your job and you loved acting. The biggest role Bucky had to play himself in a school theater production was a farmer, who'd one line, but he'd almost thrown up on stage.

His heart ached for Bucky. Not being able to share things with your partner, keeping things close to the chest, so they wouldn’t get mad or start an argument. He knew that life. He never wanted it again. If anyone ever could want him again in that way, he wanted a partner that he could talk to. That they could be open and honest without the fear of ramifications. And yeah, there would always be fights, but hopefully they ended before they went to bed.

Steve offered a tight, small grin at Bucky’s explanation. Did Bucky hear himself? Bucky was so quick to be outraged about what little Steve said about Gilmore, but did he know what him and Dot looked like from the outside? Everyone in the apartments seemed to have a different opinion about Dot than he did, but...well he did live right next to them. The walls in the apartment didn’t foster secrets.

“Gilmore worked for his dad in a law office. He uh — he worked late a lot. His dad was a real piece. I guess that’s how it was easy to justify it you know?” Steve nibbled at his rolled cookie. ”Sometimes he’d be real sweet. Buy me things I didn’t ask for. Compliment what I cooked extra nice. Always came with a price though. Always got brought up in arguments. ‘I did this so you should do that’, ‘Do you know how much stress I’m under’, that kind of stuff.” This was probably the most he’d ever told anyone about his past relationship. He thought it would upset him, but it didn’t. He had cried all he could today. 

“I didn’t feel good, thinking about home as a battleground.” A battle he always ended up losing until Gilmore had taken all the fight out of him completely.

The more Bucky heard about that Gilmore guy the more he wanted to use his face as a punching bag. He thought he knew what Steve was trying to tell him or maybe he just needed to get it off his chest and Dot's call had been the trigger.

"I appreciate you entrusting me with this and I'm sorry you're treated badly...", he spoke after Steve stopped talking, not wanting to interrupt and continuing to eat instead.

"But Dot isn't like Gilmore. She's there when I needed her. She supported me in founding my own business and now it's my turn to return that favor. I know you must hear us fight...a lot, but we've been through this situation before and it's gonna get better again. She just needs to establish herself as an actor.", Bucky finished and it's what he truly believed, not just sugarcoating. 

Every relationship had its rough patches, testing their bond and Bucky was stubborn. He's unwilling to throw away a long term commitment over a few heated arguments. They're both passionate people, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that they fought with the same passion.

Steve hoped that was true. That Dot’s jealous streak was just an ‘acceptable’ level of jealousy. That she wasn’t the passive aggressive person that Steve was privy to. He hoped that he just brought out the worst in her, instead of Bucky. He seemed to do that in people anyway. It was how school went, then with Gilmore, and now Dot. Somehow who he was as a person just rubbed people the wrong way. 

“Right.” He wasn’t going to argue, Bucky had to know Dot the best.”I wasn’t trying to...presume or anything. I just — You think you know a person then a few years down the road you don’t know how the hell you got there,” He shook his head, crumbling the rest of his cookie over his ice cream and waffle.

"People can change, sometimes for the better or the worse." The honeymoon phase wore off eventually, but that didn't mean you could no longer be happy and in love. You just noticed your partner's flaws too and learned to make compromises or accept them.

After another few moments of consideration, Steve decided Bucky had more than earned his honesty. ”Bucky I’m...I’m really sorry about the past month. I just, heard what Dot said the last time and I thought maybe — it’s best if I just keep out of the way. I don’t want to be the reason anyone fights. I knew not everyone was going to like it when I moved it. I was ready for that. So…” He didn’t know what he was trying to say. That he didn’t want to be friends? Because that was a lie. He liked Bucky. He liked being around Bucky. The last thing he wanted was to snub the friend that had done so much for him. 

Bucky had to rummage through his memories, trying to remember their last big fight and what it had been about. "...your scent?" He asked cautiously, since that seemed to be the biggest issue for Dot.

"Just give her some more time to get used to it. Everyone else did." Dot wasn't around as much and once she accepted Bucky's and Steve's relationship as the friendship it was, she's gonna stop being so suspicious of them hanging out as well.

Steve didn’t think the issue with Dot was going to be solved by her getting used to his scent. It felt a little more primal than that. Sometimes you just smelled someone and didn’t agree with their pheromones. Steve smelled a few of those in his lifetime, though these days a lot of people chose to wear scent-blockers, so they weren’t broadcasting all over the place. He couldn’t blame them, if he could, he would. It was humiliating letting people know the things that affected him.

And he couldn’t say he would want to spend any more time around Dot either. Something about her made him want to edge away. Maybe because he thought she was an Alpha. Maybe it was her personality. He didn’t know, but he wanted to avoid her the best he could.

“I’m trying to find a scent blocker that’s okay enough.” Steve insisted.

"Please don't. The doctor said it's risky for your body. I've bought a better scent-neutralizer and washing detergents, it's gonna be fine." Bucky assured Steve, not wanting him to go out of his way and spend money he needed for other, more important things. 

Steve didn’t look any happier knowing Bucky had to buy special scent-neutralizers because of him. It felt a little ridiculous for his scent to be so strong considering he was such a small man. More so when the doctors said this pregnancy was a five percent chance mistake. Five percent, and Gilmore still managed it. Sometimes Steve could even find the humor in that. Not often.

"Maybe if you don't mind we could meet on the fire escape though, instead of the apartment?", Bucky suggested. This way the air would carry away most of Steve's scent and it wouldn't soak into the cushions of the furniture in Bucky's apartment.

Steve paused mid bite, spoon pressed to his lips. That — That could work. He liked going out on the fire escape just to breath and get a handle on himself, something he’d avoided the past month. ”Yeah, I could do that.” A small smile returned as he lowered the spoon,”I can’t promise I won’t revisit weird food combinations while I’m out there, “ He smirked, referring to his cereal and cheese stress-eating the last time.

"I'm watching you eat lavender ice cream, it can't get any worse.", Bucky returned with a smirk and honestly it didn't matter what other weird flavor combinations Steve was coming up with. As long as he could keep them down Bucky would feel grateful for it. He was just glad Steve didn't take offense at his suggestion. It was a rather unusual meeting spot, but very convenient.

They finished their waffles without any hurry and Steve even let him have the half of the honeycomb he didn't manage to eat up himself. His craving for sugar was satisfied...for now. He might get symptoms of withdrawal in a few hours after pretty much overdosing.

They said their goodbyes to the two girls and continued their way back home, arriving at the first drizzle of rain.

"Lucky us." Bucky voiced, despite not feeling too lucky about the upcoming confrontation. "Don't be a stranger." He reminded Steve before they parted ways, handing him the printed pictures of his daughter. 

Bucky unlocked the door and quietly stepped inside, toeing off his shoes. "Hey Dot, I'm back.", he let his girlfriend know, not being that much of a coward that he's trying to sneak around and actively avoid her.

"I put your sushi in the fridge." Bucky was told, which he guessed was a sign that she wasn't that mad anymore. Otherwise, she would've just eaten it herself or throw it away. His stomach was still full of waffles and ice cream, but he wasn't stupid enough to point it out to her.

"I'm gonna take a shower first." He voiced instead, shuffling into the bath and closing the door, hoping that Steve's scent was sticking to his clothes, so it wouldn't spread in the flat. 

The couch was deserted when he returned after twenty minutes. Dot was probably in bed already and Bucky decided to save the sushi for tomorrow's lunch and join her. He'd applied scent-neutralizer until he couldn't smell even a hint of cinnamon anymore, hoping it would appease Dot if only a little.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fresh out of proof-reading! Read while it's still warm and enjoy ;)

The pictures didn’t make it to the fridge. No matter how much Steve wished he could be the person to walk by them and beam with pride, he just didn’t feel it. He had no doubt he would love his daughter more than anything else in the end, but he was still reeling from everything right now. He just...needed more time, is all. 

The pictures got placed by his ancient television on the second-hand entertainment center, unopened, but not out of the way. He didn’t want to hide her, that didn’t feel right. He was still preparing for her, so that had to count for something?

The bassinet got finished a week later. It sat in a corner of his room, the lone item he’d completed so far. There was so much to get for her he didn’t even know where to begin. Clothes, diapers, toys, formula. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to breastfeed, considering all the things wrong with him. He’d had to quit most of his medications when he got the news he was pregnant, which was another reason his body felt like a battle ground lately. The only things he could take without harming her was his B vitamins, and his necessary heart medications. Even his inhaler he had to be cautious with.

He looked up from where he was pouring over his ‘to do’ list for the baby, and craned his hearing. He didn’t hear much from next door, except for the occasional footsteps..So maybe.

He gathered a blanket, his notebook, and much-needed snacks to take out with him. Once he’d crawled out onto the fire escape he set all his things down and hazarded a quiet knock on Bucky’s window. Hopefully Dot wasn’t home, and if she was, he’d just have to lie, which wasn’t his exact forte, but his time with Gilmore had made him better at it than he used to be.

The premiere of Hamlet had gone very well and Dot had been over the moon due the praises she received for her performance. Bucky had sat in the second row together with the partners of the other actors and brought her some flowers when the play was over. After the successful premiere followed the regular evening performances and therefore they decided to have breakfast instead of lunch together for the next couple of weeks until another play would come to the theater. It wasn't ideal, since Bucky was a bit of a grump in the morning and not making lots of conversation. He let Dot do the talking, trying to listen and process the input while sipping his coffee.

Bucky meant to tell Steve that they could have dinner together for a while since his girlfriend would be back late, but then an accident at work happened. It wasn't anything life threatening, after a bunch of stitches and a prescription for antibiotics he was sent home with his hand wrapped in several layers of gauze. What was a real downer was the doctor's advice not to do any heavy work or move his hand much until the wound had healed and the stitches could be pulled. That meant he couldn't do any practical work at the garage aside from pushing papers and taking customer service.

He's busy fixing himself a meal that didn't require a big amount of cooking, toasting a few slices of bread then adding cheese and ham in between. Gordon Ramsay would be proud of his efforts. Bucky was about to take a seat at the couch, when he heard a knock. Instinctively he walked towards the front door, but found no one waiting for him in the hallway. Where the kids playing pranks on him? Pulling the door shut again with a small sigh Bucky returned to the living room where he heard another knock and fuck it that wasn't even funny. His irritation quickly faded upon seeing a blonde mop of hair outside of the window. Shit, he'd completely forgotten about the fire escape!

At first, Steve feared that he’d made a mistake. He heard footsteps, but one growing distant. He didn’t dare peak around yet, but the longer he listened, he only heard the heavy steps of Bucky’s feet. Slowly, he peered around, seeing Bucky meandering back towards the couch, his hand in bandages. Steve knocked again, concern tugging at his lips. At least Bucky saw and heard him this time.

No longer confused about the source of the knocking opened the window. "Hey there." He greeted Steve with a pleased smile. "Can you take my plate?" Bucky asked, so he had one hand free to maneuver himself over the windowsill and onto the fire escape.

“Sure”, Steve reached to take hold of Bucky’s plate and wiggle back away from the window so Bucky could ease himself out. “What happened to your hand?” He followed up while settling again, the tangy notes of worry wafting into the slight breeze.

"Lost a fight against a rusty exhaust pipe. It'll heal." Bucky told Steve, not wanting his friend to worry about his injury. Working with heavy machines and lots of metal on a daily basis was always a risk, but so far this cut had been the worst accident he'd been involved in. Although he probably shouldn't mention that one time he almost lost his thumb. It would only make Steve's worry spike, and he wanted them to have a good time.

Steve handed Bucky’s sandwich back once he was sat down, and returned to his make-shift nest. Now properly ensconced in his blankets, he pulled his snacks to him, which today consisted of animal crackers, a bulk bag of banana chips he’d bought on sale, and non-dairy string cheese. It was certainly more balanced than the last attempt, and Steve’s coloring looked much better than it had a week before. A week of being able to hold down the majority of his food had done wonders for his energy levels. He didn’t feel like he was constantly on the verge of fainting anymore.

“Christ, that must’ve hurt,” Steve murmured before sandwiching an animal cracker between two banana chips to eat. It wasn’t a combo he’d usually go for, but much more complementary than his prior cornflake-and-cheese binge. He wasn’t even going to mention how he’d demolished a package of snack cakes two days ago and nearly slept for twelve hours after the sugar crash. His doctor would have murdered him, considering that pregnancy-induced diabetes was such a concern.

"Yeah, stung like a bitch." Bucky confirmed, not even trying to pretend that he's a tough guy and it's just a scratch. There's so much blood he wasn't the only one of the Howlies that had felt a bit light-headed at the sight. Good thing, they had a tiled floor that could be cleaned easily, so the customers wouldn't walk into a murder scene tomorrow.

"How have you been?" Bucky asked, since they hadn't seen each other for a week and a lot could've happened during that time. He could pick up on Steve's sweet scent, which meant he hadn't made another attempt to cover it up with chemicals. His cheekbones and jaw line looked slightly less sharp, so he's taking the medicine Bucky had gotten him too. Bucky felt satisfied that Steve accepted his help and listened to the advice of his doctor. 

Steve shrugged lightly,”I’ve been — better. That medication and I literally can’t say thank you enough, has really helped.” His ulcers certainly enjoyed not being bathed in stomach acid constantly, and his throat felt a hell of a lot better. His voice sounded clearer, less raspy, just because he wasn’t puking all the time.

"Is this your dinner?" Bucky raised eyebrow regarding the string cheese. Not like his sandwich deserved a Michelin star either, but it had some substance.

Glancing down at his snack-pile, Steve chortled,”What of it? Last I checked grilled cheese was in the same age range as my animal crackers.” He shot back with a cheeky grin that met his eyes for once.”And milk is grossing me out this week, so I bought this ridiculously expensive fake-cheese that I hate but can’t stop eating.”

"The bread has seeds in it.", Bucky defended his sandwich with a grin before taking a bite. "So it's on the same level as veggies." He claimed after swallowing, because he hadn't forgotten about his manners entirely.

Despite Bucky’s flippancy, Steve still looked concerned every time he glanced at the thick bandage. Once again he was glad they were outside because he was pumping out some pretty intense notes of wet pine from his desire to make sure Bucky was alright. Apparently his body had already tried to register Bucky as part of his inner circle, but thankfully as long as Bucky was on scent blockers he couldn’t really latch onto anything definitively. 

“Oh, well if it has seeds,” Steve snorted, taking a bite of cheese with a flinch. It really did taste awful, but in a way that was kind of addictive. It squeaked against his teeth and made him feel like he was chewing on a rubber glove and a pile of mush at the same time. How did his stomach rebel against a ham sandwich but not this?

"Give the princess what she wants." Bucky added towards the ‘string-cheese’, though it was probably best for both baby and Steve to eat some more healthy stuff as well. 

Steve hesitated, glancing down at his stomach with a wavering smile.”Yeah,” He echoed quietly. The Princess. The baby girl in his stomach. The baby girl that he hadn’t even tried to google a few names for. Every time he tried to type ‘Baby names’ into a search engine he was filled with an all-consuming panic that took hours to fully calm down from.

"But I'm glad you're doing better." Which hopefully meant less concerned looks from the doctor during the next appointment. Bucky simply assumed he'd be accompanying Steve again. Last time hadn't exactly been a success, but it might have been even worse for Steve if he had to go through his breakdown all by himself. Speaking about Steve's baby girl was apparently still a sore spot and Bucky reminded himself to avoid bringing up the topic. Sooner or later Steve would hopefully talk about her on his own.

"Hey, I didn't see your finished project yet." Bucky remembered all of a sudden.

Bucky’s follow up bumped him from his momentary lapse and Steve hurried to fish out his phone from his blanket mass.”I’d say come in and I’d show you but you’d probably have to burn your clothes after,” He smirked as he brought up his photo album to offer Bucky a few pictures of the bassinet. 

"Picture's fine.", Bucky assured him, leaning closer to get a better look.

For someone that hadn’t been convinced they could do much of anything, the bassinet looked adorable. He’d painted it periwinkle with a rustic finish, decorating it with images of moons, stars, and swirling patterns. The plush quilt that made up the bed and overhand was blocked in various complementary fabrics, some of space, some of clouds, and others of cute baby animals. “I hope I anchored the screws well enough, but I wiggled it and it was really sturdy?”

"Wow, it looks amazing! Can't believe that's the same wooden skeleton I've seen before..." The bassinet really had looked a bit like a cage when he first saw it, but considering that it was supposed to keep the baby safe and inside it was perfect for the purpose. Now it looked like a patch of grass with a night sky above.

Steve knew even before he showed Bucky the picture it would be bad, but the burst of eager-puppy level happy Omega flooded into his blanket and into the gentle breeze. It was a good thing Bucky had refused to go inside, because poor Bucky might have had to bleach everything down to his eyeballs to get the cinnamon and sugar smell out.

"I'm sure it's gonna hold." After all the baby wasn't planning to have a wrestling match in there, so until she needed a real bed this should be fine.

Steve's spike of happiness felt like getting a handful of cinnamon buns rubbed over his face, the smell so intense that Bucky thought he could almost taste them. It made his mouth water, and he swallowed before he could accidentally drool on Steve's blanket.

"You could've made a tutorial of this." Bucky noted since there seemed to be a lot of those DIY videos online these days. Finishing up his sandwich Bucky tried to think of his last personal project. Well, he had fixed the coffee table, but it looked the same as before, no real improvement.

“It’s only thanks to those I made it,” Steve laughed,”I looked up how to do the sanding and put it back together online. I knew how to do the paint technique already. Honestly, the longest thing was remembering how to make a pattern.” His nose scrunched slightly. ”My Ma would have clucked over my shoulder the entire time if she could have seen how much fabric I wasted.”, he chuckled.

"But I'm sure she'd have been pleased with the final result." Bucky added on a positive note, not wanting Steve to cast any shadows on his achievement. No one who's gonna look at this crib would guess that Steve put it together or himself and succeeded on his first try. The stripped screw incident didn't count.

Steve’s gentle pleasure softened to lace a bit of meadow-y contentment that came with thinking about his mother. She would have loved the bassinet. As much as it would have frustrated her, she would have loved being a grandmother as well. He just wished she was here still. Not only for him, but for her sake. For his child’s sake.

“I have enough left over to sew a few outfits I think, but — “ He chewed his lower lip. ”Maybe I can ask Julio if he has an old one I can use as a pattern.” The telltale signs of Steve getting anxious started again.

As it was, his kid didn’t look like she was going to get a very good start. In fact, Steve was worried his kid would be orphaned a hell of a lot sooner than he was. He wasn’t under any illusions when it came to his body and health. He was going to be damn lucky if he struggled through to make it as long as his Ma did.

"Sure, why not? I don't think they're planning on having another kid, so they might have not much use for those old clothes anyway." Better than letting them collect dust in the basement. There's nothing shameful about letting your kid wear second-hand clothes either as long as they were still looking decent.

Admittedly, Steve hoped Julio would have some old clothing as well, but he was too shy to ask. He didn’t want to continue being the neighbor that needed everyone else’s help, even when that’s exactly what he was. It did help he had domestic skills others had skipped over, and the kindly elderly Alpha seemed to just enjoy giving him all the advice she could about what she remembered about her late partner’s pregnancies. 

“I’m — not real sure what my next step is going to be.” It wasn’t like he had a nursery to paint or had the money to get a bunch of extra.”I guess maybe a stroller?” He really wished he’d been around kids growing up, but he’d never even held a newborn before.

"You could look for one on the flea market." Bucky suggested, because he was pretty sure Steve couldn't afford to buy a brand-new stroller. "I've seen posters for a few, they're probably more like garage sales, but there are some for baby's and kid's stuff."

“Oh I know flea markets,” Steve gave a conspiratorial grin. ”My Ma had them down to an art. Could show you all the ins and outs of ‘em around the city.” Where most of his wardrobe came from and his plethora of gigantic blankets.

"Sounds like she's having a record of bargaining." Bucky commented with a faint grin, trying to imagine a fair-skinned woman with blue eyes driving down the prices until she got what she wanted. And with Steve in tow she might have gotten the cute child bonus too.

“You don’t even know, I didn’t know name brand cereal existed until I was thirteen.” Steve smiled despite the obvious hardships of his youth. It was all he’d ever known, and he’d grown up in a more rundown subset of Brooklyn to start with. Most of the other kids he’d known at school were in similar straights, and the others that weren’t hadn’t bothered with him. He’d been too sickly, too small to be invited to parties. Isolation had just forged a stronger reliance on his mother, and she’d taught him everything she knew.

Bucky chuckled, then hummed in thought. "If you have some fabric left maybe you can sew one of those...baby wraps? I don't know what's their official name." Bucky admitted, but hopefully Steve understood what he's trying to describe.

The next suggestion perked Steve a bit. ”Hey yeah, that’s an idea. Lord knows these arms aren’t going to be used to holding a baby.”, he smirked, since he weighed about as much as an average thirteen-year-old with the strength of an eight-year-old.

"Would be a good training though and you don't even gotta pay for gym membership." Bucky remarked jokingly at the idea of Steve lifting his baby. It should be bearable in the beginning, but after a while considering how quickly babies could grow Steve might have some difficulties. Hard to imagine for someone whose arms were approximately double the size of Steve's thighs.

Steve briefly snorted around another mouthful,”Only gym I ever set foot in gave me an asthma attack,” Prompted by Gilmore, of course. Obviously him ‘sitting around all the time’ was responsible for why he was so sickly, so Gilmore’s solution was his solution to most things. Eat protein powder and hit the gym. Swimming, Steve liked. Everything else? Not so much. Aside from stationary bikes, most of the things in a gym either hurt or seized up his lungs. It had taken three disastrous trips for Gilmore to finally give up.

"Aren't you supposed to have a trainer that eases you into it?" Bucky asked with a light frown. Getting advice from an instructor, telling them about your long- and short-term goals before getting on a treadmill.

Steve shot Bucky a flat look, a wry smirk tugging at his lips. ”One word: Gilmore.” He explained the obvious lack of ‘trainer’ neatly. As if Gilmore needed anyone to tell him what to do with an Omega. His Omega. It would have taken an act of god for Gilmore to realize that he was about as smart as a bag of rocks and had only gotten where he was in life by his family’s money and name alone.

"I'm starting to think we need a swear jar with his name on it." Bucky muttered at Steve's reply, because bringing up that guy sounded more and more like a curse. It made Bucky question why Steve felt attracted to such a scumbag in the first place, but he might be a good pretender or have a lovable side he didn't show too often. He wasn't going to judge Steve for his bad choice in picking a partner, because they all had been there at some point in their lives. Bucky just didn't get any kids from any of those relationships that hadn't worked out.

Despite the topic, Steve laughed, blanket momentarily slipping down one shoulder. ”Agreed, I think saying ‘The Jackass’ is probably more apt at this point.” He shook his head, sighing out the remains of his amusement. He too wondered what he’d seen in Gilmore. He hadn’t been that bad at first, but then things slowly started to build up, and by then Gilmore had made him so reliant that..there was really no other option. Nowhere else to go.

Steve paused a few seconds, considering. He’d spent enough time around Bucky to start asking about his life, right? Bucky had learned a lot about him, even if Bucky probably hadn’t wanted to. Steve was still a little mortified Bucky had to hear so much at the gynecologist. ”Do you have siblings? You seem like you have a heck of a lot better handle on this baby stuff than I do.”

"I have...three younger sisters, so yeah I definitely know my way around little girls and have lost half of my sanity to them." Bucky admitted, knowing that the number usually made a shocked look cross people's faces. It was a big number, especially for city folks, but none of them had been accidents and his parents had done a great job at raising them in Bucky's opinion. They'd been cared for, and he still had a close relationship with them.

“Three?” Steve whistled low. That was nuts! He’d known a few large families growing up, yet the idea of growing up with all little sisters sounded like a special kind of hell. Bucky probably hadn’t been in any danger of being dressed up like a doll though. The older girl from the floor below had tried to corner Steve one too many times growing up for him to have fond memories of that age group of girl.

"They all live with their partners, but Marie is the first of us who has their own child since last year.", Bucky told Steve, sounding rather proud of them, despite his earlier statement. Living together with his sisters they had a lot of fights, but they always stood together when it counted and Bucky had been very protective of them. He'd given their first boyfriends a much more threatening shovel talk than their dad. "They don't live in the area, but we always gather together for the holidays and sometimes I video chat with them."

“So you’re an Uncle, that’s great.” Bucky did seem to have a fondness for children, and Steve could see why if he’d just grown up in that kind of role to start with.

"Godfather even." Bucky added with a pleased smile. "I haven't seen them since Eastern, so Haley probably had another growth spurt. She's a real ray of sunshine. Just starting to feel outnumbered by all those girls in my family.", he huffed in mock exasperation.

"My dad always jokes he wanted his own hockey team. Jokes on him 'cause all we ever learned was non-confrontational ice skating." Bucky remarked with a chuckle. His Ma stayed at home with them, which was a full-time job and after all her fledglings had left the nest she started working part-time for a florist. That's why whenever he came by there was a new flower arrangement on the table and whoever of his siblings decided to marry first would probably get the flowers sponsored.

Steve’s eyes widened, pausing before he could take another nibble from his cheese stick. ”You know how to ice skate?” He was stuck between awe and giggling imagining someone like Bucky on ice skates. He knew that was a little mean, but it was still hard for him to get a mental image. Bucky was so masculine! Especially for an Omega. He knew perfectly well that Omegas ran the gamut, but media only liked to highlight a certain kind of Omega to reinforce that good’ol gender biased, and Steve didn’t exactly have much world experience. 

"You don't have to look like a figure skater to pull it off." Bucky commented with a snort at Steve's obvious surprise. Before Bucky presented as an Alpha and his testosterone shot through the roof he had a more slender, athletic built. He hadn't turned into a brick wall overnight, but he'd definitely gained weight and became broader overall.

Steve aimed another wicked grin at Bucky, trying to imagine him in a leotard and — Okay maybe that wasn’t the best idea. Bucky was built in ways that most people could admire. He had that kind of rugged vibe that married well with his general image and if Steve wasn’t pregnant and disgusting he might have a harder time being around Bucky. Steve wasn’t a bigot, and the idea of Omega relationships didn’t phase him like it did most of society. In fact, he hoped that Alpha and Omega couples won the lawsuit they were bringing to the Supreme Court. It felt ridiculous to argue about who could love who. A hundred years ago people still complained about female Alphas and male Omegas.

"Not exactly a curse to be surrounded by pretty ladies." Bucky remarked with a grin. Personally he couldn't tell if it was worse to have a horde of boys instead. Bucky had gotten himself into a lot of trouble when he was younger, but nothing that would make him end up in jail.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s such a hardship,” Steve replied with a roll of his eyes,”I bet you had to go through a lot of finger nail polish remover and pigtails.” Even if the idea of it sounded slightly nightmarish, Steve envied Bucky for it. A big family...a safety net to turn to and take care of in turn. Steve wanted that. He’d always wanted that. He didn’t begrudge any of his mother’s choices, and he’d been given the best childhood possible under the circumstances, but he knew his Mother had longed for it as well. It was hard to pretend your mother didn’t cry when they lived in close quarters most of their lives.

"My hair wasn't long enough back then, but the nail polish attacks were frequent and the worst color combinations." Hot pink and neon yellow hurt to look at for more than a few seconds and it had been a pain in the ass to get them off again. His ma even defended the little harpies by claiming that's what he got for being lazy and napping on the couch instead of helping her with dinner.

Steve could only imagine, though Bucky looked like he could pull a lot of things off other guys couldn’t. Maybe Steve was just a little blinded by Bucky’s personality at this point, but he could see why everyone around the apartment seemed to have only good things to say about him. 

”It must be hard though, being away from them. I can’t imagine, the only relatives I have left are in Ireland.” He didn’t even have names and addresses for those people either. His Mother never spoke about them often enough, and he’d certainly never met them.

"And you don't have any contact with them?" Bucky assumed during the lack of any further information.

The question wavered the smile for a brief moment. ”Nah. Ma never talked about them much but I think it had something to do with her running off to marry my Dad. Then he up and left her. I imagine she was too ashamed to go back to Ireland, so she stayed here. No one’s ever tried to contact me, and I don’t have their information, so apparently it was the right call.” It did hurt, knowing that there was a branch of family out there that wanted nothing to do with him. His ‘dad’ and his family were just another layer on the cake. He only knew his father’s name, and Steve had never tried to contact him either. He can’t imagine a man that would leave his wife and a newborn by themselves and walk out was any kind of man he wanted to meet.

"The first step is the hardest..." and holding a grudge could feel easier than letting go to reach out. Maybe Steve would find the time and motivation to make contact with them once he had the baby and a more steady life. Right now he had enough to worry about and family issues shouldn't be stacked on top of it.

“I guess...Who knows, maybe I have cousins that aren’t, you know, awful.” He wasn’t going to hold out much hope. 

Abruptly, he dropped the loose handful of animal crackers he’d reached for as a sharp pain jabbed him down below.”Shit,” he huffed, momentarily tensing up until it passed. There were a lot of random pains that liked to crop up. This, this was one of his least favorites. The idea that some muscles in his crotch were stretching wasn’t the most comforting idea ever. Even less comforting than his joints being loose and his chest being so much bigger and achy.

"...did she kick you?" Bucky asked with a mixture of concern and confusion. It was hard to guess what caused Steve to flinch and curl up when there's no visible wound. He remembered how small the baby looked during the ultrasound, could she even kick yet? For growing up with a bunch of siblings Bucky didn't know a lot about babies while they weren't born.

Steve puffed a strained laugh at the innocent concern,”No, not big enough yet.” He assured, sucking in a deep, slow breath to bleed out some of the tension he was holding onto. It was easier to just relax into the muscle cramps than curl up into a ball like he wanted to do. He wasn’t sure how he was ever going to handle contractions if ‘little’ pains like these made him want to die on the couch for the next few hours till bedtime. 

"Do you wanna go back inside, maybe lay down a bit?", Bucky suggested, not wanting for Steve to keep over on the fire escape of all places. There's a railing that prevented any immediate danger of falling, since it was a long way down.

The animal crackers were pretty bland and Steve was taking his medication, so the food shouldn't be a problem.

“I’m okay, ‘s normal. Just — muscle cramps.” Which was a lot better than saying ‘Oh the ligaments around my birth canal are rearranging’ which sounded graphic and gross to say out loud when poor Bucky had already been subjected to enough already. If there was such a thing as a crotch massage that didn’t sound as lewd as the name implied, Steve would be the first in line. 

"Oh good. I mean- that's still awful, but ya know..." Better than internal bleeding? Bucky wasn't as great at comforting other as he wanted to be right now. The way Steve talked about his body sounded like his insides were shifting around, which yeah must be really painful.

“Lot of stuff is apparently doing gymnastics in there. For something the size of a potato, she’s — present.” Steve was finally getting to the point where there was little denying he was pregnant unless he wore a baggy sweater. He was just too thin and the protrusion of his abdomen would start to look like a ball stuck onto his lean body before too long. He was just shy of his eighteen week and was really starting to feel it.

It had never occurred to Bucky that a male Omega might have a much harder time to deliver a baby. And for both of their sake he wasn't gonna google any details later. He'd rather keep pretending that giving birth was something magical.

"I guess a warm-water bottle won't help in that case?" Bucky didn't want to offend Steve by comparing period cramps to pregnancy cramps, but maybe they could be lessened with the same methods.

Steve blinked, the dawning realization that yes, a hot water bottle would absolutely help, even if he had to awkwardly hold it between his legs.”I’m a fucking idiot,” He breathed, groaning at his own absentmindedness. 

“To be fair, I’m usually running fevers so my priority is usually lowering my temperature, rather than raising it.” He pointed out before Bucky could think he had the IQ of a five-year-old. 

"But you always seem to be cold..." Bucky remarked, referring to Steve's blanket fashion and various sweaters. Maybe he should sew that hot-water bottle to the inside of his clothes. Their apartments had functioning heaters, yet Bucky was a bit worried about Steve during late autumn and winter. Even spring could be really cold in Brooklyn.

“Pretty sure it’d take a body suit of hot water bottles to cure that, Buck.” Steve remarked with a chuckle. He never had much in the way of body fat. Either he didn’t eat enough, or his medications zapped what appetite he had. Exhaustion also played a part, since most days he was just too tired after coming back from work to bother with cooking. He was doing pretty well with the pills Bucky gave him, and according to the internet he should be hitting his ‘eat everything in sight’ months soon enough. 

Buck. Was it bad to find it awfully endearing when Steve took his nickname to the next level? It was just missing one letter, but no one else had ever come up with it and Bucky wouldn't mind if it became a Steve thing.

“I’ll pick one up after work tomorrow if the boss lets me go in time.” He’d die in the bathtub for an hour before he went to bed tonight and it should loosen things up, “I keep reading about stuff online but it’s all kind of a jumble, I never know what to actually listen to or not.” He knew people usually went to classes and stuff for these kinds of things, but he wasn’t sure if there were classes for people like him that couldn’t rely on mating hormones to calm him down during birth. That, and were broke as hell.

Listening to Steve's plans it sounded like he worked over hours, despite being pregnant and should therefore avoid any unnecessary stress. "Then why don't you try to find some class that can teach you? It's your first baby, no one expects you to be fully prepared. There are a lot of health classes at the community center, maybe they have prenatal classes too." He'd rather trust a trained professional than a bunch of random people online. Tutorials could only teach you so much, but it was helpful to let someone else watch and correct mistakes. 

"I think the smaller centers give free classes and stuff. A friend of mine went there when he had trouble with booze, which isn't comparable but...checking it out won't hurt, right?"

Bucky's clumsy suggestion brought another fresh peel of laughter to Steve, “That was a god-awful pitch,” He teased, feeling a little more comfortable being a closer version of himself than he had in a while. 

"Then it's good we ain't playin' baseball or I'm trying to win a poetry competition." Bucky snarked back with a grin. Steve was right though, he could've voiced it more eloquently.

“That’d be nice though. I looked into a few, but they were church-ran and well, being knocked up and unmated wasn’t their demographic. Aren’t those kinds of classes supposed to be for couples though?” That’s the only kind he’d ever seen, and the idea of going to one of those alone made his scent quiver with nervous and self-doubt. Everyone already considered him a sub-par Omega to start with, and he’d be subjected to a roomful of Omegas and probably their partners, and if he smelled bond scent all around him he was pretty sure he would end up crying in the bathroom again. He didn’t even want an Alpha, but his hormones and his brain hadn’t been getting along lately.

"Which is quite ironic, right? I mean it's not like God went to the registry office with Mary before knocking her up, then let her husband take care of the rest." Bucky remarked with a snort. 

Steve stifled his laughter against his blanket to keep from disturbing the side of the building. He hadn’t laughed this much in — longer than he could remember, actually. Gilmore sense of humor was vastly different from his own, and he wasn’t around anyone else long enough to share jokes like this.

“You know, I was raised pretty Catholic. That’s like, fourty Hail Marys right there.” He grinned, resting his head on his folded knees with his eyes towards Bucky. He wouldn’t be able to sit like this much longer without his belly getting in the way. 

"You're in Brooklyn now, join us in the pool of sins." Bucky retorted with a boisterous laughter. Fourty Hail Marys, who had time for those? Sure, his family had gone to church on Sunday as well, but not all the time. His home hadn't been decorated with crosses and images of saints either, so it was pretty casual.

“I’m a knocked-up single Omega. Pretttyyy sure I’ve got the sin part down. I ain’t Mary.” Steve smirked pointedly, too tired at this point to care about all that sentence encompassed. You didn’t get pregnant by being a virgin outside of mythology. 

The duality of being an Omega was being seen as this innocent, fragile thing, while simultaneously being viewed as someone aching for sex twenty-four seven. Just waiting for the right Alpha to come and knot them down. Steve guessed as far as Omega’s go, he was probably the picture-perfect stereotype. 

"Then you've finally found your way back home, my child." Bucky stated in his best impression of a priest. Steve didn't look too impressed, which only proved why he should leave the acting to Dot.

Steve rolled his eyes hard enough to make them twinge. Bucky was more of a dork than Steve had thought considering when they first met Steve had been sure he was going to be a big jerk. Once again he was struck by the desire to just smell someone. There were only a few adults in the apartment that didn’t take scent blockers, and Steve was feeling more and more isolated. All he wanted was to scent a friend and know someone was there.

Admittedly classes like those usually weren't for single parents, but they had to learn the basics too, so they should be included. "Normally yeah on the couples,” Bucky agreed with a shrug. "You could work with the instructor?" Getting paired with a stranger even if they were your teacher wasn't ideal, but it was a class, Steve didn't have to bond with them.

The ‘solution’ wasn’t much of one. In fact, it kind of doubled down on Steve’s anxiety. It would just be calling attention to himself, which was frankly the last thing he wanted. He just wished that people would mind their own damn business about other people’s lives. There were single Omegas out there, why should they have to skirt around the partnered ones like a worst-kept secret?

“I’ll see if I can get some pamphlets or something after work tomorrow if he lets me go in time.” He didn’t want to, but he wasn’t making decisions for just himself anymore.

"Your after work to-do list is rapidly growing." Bucky noted, hoping that it didn't become too much for Steve. He had no partner supporting him, a crappy job as far as Bucky could tell and more health issues than fingers to count them. 

Steve yawned softly, staring at his giraffe animal cracker critically.”It never ends,” He mumbled with an implied sigh.

Stretching out his legs Bucky let his feet dangle over the edge. Unconsciously he wanted to scratch the nicotine patch on his upper arm, but quickly dropped his hand when he realized he's moving the bandaged one. "Never start smoking." Bucky muttered with an annoyed sigh. "Quitting is the worst and those gums have a nasty taste." 

During the first month the temptation to give in and have just one cigarette was the biggest. It had been his resolution for this year and the year before. Dot had given up calling him out for his bad habit, yet there's a disapproving look on her face when his clothes smelled like smoke, or she could taste it on his lips.

Looking over, Steve realized that unlike last time, Bucky wasn’t smoking. He’d just assumed Bucky would double-task,”That’s —- again probably really shitty advice,” He teased, since he could barely handle air on a good day. 

"I'm full of them, like an anti-fortune cookie." Bucky claimed with another chuckle. If he had any good advice Steve wouldn't have to go to any class, but could be homeschooled by him.

“You’re quitting?” Which was a relief, honestly, since cigarette smoke was one of his top triggers. Not to mention it probably wasn’t great to have around his kid in the future when he could help it. Who knew what problems the baby would be saddled with thanks to the family genes.

"Yes, this is attempt number...three? And that's the lucky number, so I'm having a good feeling this time." Or he did until work got stressful, or he could smell someone else smoking nearby. At first Bucky had been joking when telling Steve he's using those few bucks for his medication instead of buying cigarettes, but then he'd thought to himself that evening 'Why not? You can do this'. 

Steve turned with a small smile, nudging Bucky’s leg with his sock-foot. ”If I can have a baby, you can quit smoking.” He challenged.

Okay, maybe talking about it hadn't been the best idea, because all Bucky could think about was the phantom sensation of a filter between his lips and white smoke wafting past them. It wasn't even the taste he craved, nicotine didn't taste nearly as good as sugar. "Smoking can cause impotence, can't risk that." He told Steve jokingly, since he was more worried about his lungs. The coughing in the morning had become worse.

”You’re really doubling down tonight,” Steve chortled. ”No offense, Buck, but with how thin the walls are, I know you’re pretty good on that front.” He reminded with a wry smirk. He’d heard every time Bucky had sex in detail.

"Oh fuck, I forgot our bedrooms are right next to each other...sorry." Bucky apologized with a sheepish smile. Not like he could do much about that and well, it wasn't a secret he was trying to keep from Steve. Just because the walls weren't noise-cancelling didn't mean the residents weren't gonna have sex. He wasn't embarrassed about Steve hearing...something, but he hoped they hadn't messed up his sleep schedule too badly.

Steve waved him off, not wanting to get into that conversation. If he started thinking about it too long he’d start thinking about how he’d touched himself to those sounds of a good breeding, and he didn’t want his neighbor smelling any of those pheromones on him.

“Look at it this way, what if this one gets my asthma?” Steve patted his stomach, trying not to seem as utterly down on the idea of having a child as he felt half the time.

"Then I'm gonna get her a custom-made, tiny pink inhaler." Bucky declared cheerfully, not wanting Steve to think about what kind issues his baby might have before she's even born. They could only hope that she got the health of Gilmore and not his personality.

"No need to convince me, I'd never smoke around your baby girl. Gotta be a good role model." There, he got his dad speech down already and his dad body would come next considering that he always gained weight after he stopped smoking for a while. A small price to pay, but he could admit being a bit vain and not wanting to go all marshmallow around the waist. If he could transfer a few pounds to Steve he'd do so in a heartbeat.

He nudged Bucky again with his foot again with a small snort. ”If there’s one good thing I hope she gets from he-who-won’t-be-named, it’s being healthy. I swear, he only ever caught a cold.” Even then, Gilmore had been a giant baby about it. Steve had always ended up catching it from taking care of Gilmore too. “A fifty-fifty split would still be good odds.”

"Fingers crossed." Hopefully, she would get more of Steve's looks, because it might be hard to look at the face of your child and be constantly reminded of your ex.

Another soft yawn escaped him, and Steve finally decided to say uncle.”Okay, I gotta take a shower and go to bed before I knock out here.” He huffed, annoyed that pregnancy was bound and determined to always make him tired, but never let him sleep more than an hour or two at a time without waking up. 

“Don’t overdo with your hand,” He warned critically, fixing Bucky with eyes that could only be described as ‘stern mother’.

"Roger." Bucky confirmed with a smirk, looking pleased as a punch over his little word play like the actual 7-year old he was.

"Sleep well." He wished his neighbor, deciding that he'd gotten enough 'fresh' air as well and might as well hunt for some snacks in the pantry after watching Steve eat his crackers. He deserved a treat after being smoke-free for a week.

Putting the plate on the windowsill Bucky climbed in first before brushing off the crumbs in the sink and putting it back into the cupboard. He found a bag with chocolate chip cookies and barely found the self-control to devour only half of them. Considering his appetite he should be the pregnant one. 

Their plan to meet outside had worked pretty well and Bucky bad to apply merely a bit of scent-neutralizer after changing into his sleepwear. Dot arrived half an hour later, looking tired when Bucky pulled her into a welcoming embrace.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An amazing artist did fanart for the fic, it's in chapter one ♥️♥️♥️

Eighteen weeks was apparently the ‘bell pepper’ stage.

Steve resolutely refused to sniffle like his traitorous body wanted to. Instead, he crammed another mini KitKat in his face and pressed his back to the bricks. His blanket-pile was stacked neglected in his lap in favor of his latest snack pile, which was growing as fast as his belly. After today, he felt justified in his sugar binge. He had blueberry muffins, that fucking counted as fruit. 

His bathroom scale said he was up a few pounds in the past two weeks, which was a damn miracle and a half. Half the time he still felt nauseated as all hell, and as long as he rationed the nausea pills, he could probably make them last long enough to put on five pounds before they ran out. Hopefully. His doctor said he needed a good twenty even without the baby, so there was no telling how much his ‘ideal’ weight should be with her. 

That much he’d heard in detail today. ‘Oh, you’re unmated?’,’You’re so skinny! Is the baby healthy?’,’Surprised you could conceive at all’, ‘You poor thing’. All seemingly innocuous comments, but coupled with the smirks or the knowing looks, Steve wanted to hide at the back of class until it was over. Of course, he hadn’t been allowed that. Like Bucky theorized, the instructor had dragged him up to the front and made it abundantly clear to everyone he had no idea what the fuck he was doing. 

He had no idea what his ‘birthing plan’ was. How to properly scent-bond during the first few weeks. Or even if he would get the maternity leave to do it. There were so many questions thrown at him he hadn’t even thought to lie. 

Scowling, he dug into the plastic bag from the corner store to pop open the pint of milk he’d bought even though his stomach had always been a hit or a miss with dairy. Everything was giving him heartburn or gas, so why bother trying anymore?  
-  
The bandage was off and all that was left of Bucky’s cut was a pink scar across his palm. His potential career as a hand model was officially over. On the bright side he could hold cutlery again and work outside of the office.

Every evening he made sure to check outside his window if Steve was sitting on the fire escape again, but he didn't see him again until this evening. The various snacks surrounding Steve and the troubled expression of the part of his face that was visible to Bucky made it clear that he was upset and probably stress eating. Poor guy.

Bucky collected his bowl of instant ramen spiced up with a few fresh ingredients to join Steve outside. "Hey Milky Way." He greeted him with a combination of Steve's latest sweet and drink choices, walking a few steps before settling down beside Steve. 

"How's it going? Calcium deficiency won't be an issue if you drink that up." Bucky remarked with an amused smile, already used to Steve's special cravings.

Steve looked up with a sharp narrow of his eyes. ”Watch it or I’ll eat you too.” He huffed, swallowing the remaining KitKat before chasing it with a drink of milk. The flood of sugar had taken the edge off, but he still felt cranky, tired, and pissed off. 

"I'm still raw, don't make yourself sick." Bucky replied, completely unfazed by Steve's sulky welcome. He'd witnessed Steve in various states of emotions. Crankiness was new, but he'd grown up with three sisters, so he could handle one pregnant Omega with mood swings.

Steve’s scent shifted to cinnamon laced with peppers. ”You’re the one that said go to those stupid classes. Why did I listen to you, you’re practically mated.” He growled, petite Omega fangs flashing with all the fury of a pissed off house cat. 

Between the eating and the mood swings, Steve felt like an uncontrollable monster. He’d cussed out a woman at the grocery yesterday for making a snippy comment about his scent to her husband. Worse than that, his body was really starting to protest the added weight and strain on his body. He was just tired despite eating more than he had in months. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could feasibly work without his boss finding a reason to fire him since he could barely keep his eyes open whenever he was still at work. 

He picked up a muffin, holding it in his hands while he stared down at the alley below.

"Because you wanted to learn and it's the best way? What went wrong?" Bucky sensed a story behind Steve's accusation. His Alpha-lizard brain briefly lit up at the flash of teeth, throat itching to return the growl and remind Steve who he was talking to...but Bucky opened his mouth to quickly stuff in a fork full of noodles instead. Christ, he didn't let himself get provoked that easily. It must be Steve's smell, carrying his emotions and slapping them into his face.

"I hope you don't consider jumping...or throwing away that muffin.", Bucky uttered upon seeing Steve eyeing the asphalt. It surely wasn't as inviting as it might look to him right now. He just had a bad day. 

A particular bad one.

Steve’s pout deepened for a moment longer since he didn’t get the rise out of Bucky he’d been looking for. His skin felt crawly and unsettled, and he’d nearly sniffed an Alpha on the bus just because he hadn’t been wearing scent blockers. He was going out of his mind. No wonder Omegas wanted to be mated or at least dating when they were pregnant. Going it solo was a nightmare on your baser instincts. 

He sniffed again and shoved the muffin towards Bucky, a silent command to take it. Steve picked up another one and bit into it with a little more viciousness than necessary, quiet Omega rumbles pulsing from his throat as he chewed. He usually tried to keep a better hold on ‘displaying’, since it wasn’t considered very civilized, but right now he didn’t give a fuck.

"Uh thanks." Bucky commented, accepting the muffin with his free hand and placing it on his lap to eat once he'd finished his main dish.

“Everything, it was awful.” Steve mumbled, brushing crumbs from his mouth with the back of his hand.”Everyone kept making back-handed comments about me being underweight or unmated. The instructor kept using me as a ‘what not to do’ case, and stood me up at the front. Just…asking me shit one after another.” He slouched, dropping his bitten muffin back into the bag.

"I'm sorry to hear that...they should've been supportive." Bucky would never understand people getting a kick out of putting others down. They're lucky they had a partner that stood with them, the least they could do was help someone who had to go through all of this on their own. At least the instructor should've been a good role model.

"They're a bunch of jerks. Are there any other classes you could go to?" Usually Bucky would encourage Steve to give it another try, but he didn't want him to go back to a place filled with negativity and people judging him. Maybe it had been just a bad start and other groups were more understanding…

For the moment Steve had stopped trying to make up for his early pregnancy calorie deficit in favor of spreading his blanket over his bare legs. He’d stupidly come out here only in shorts, though at least he was still wearing a hooded jacket. His jeans were getting too tight, but he’d just been too busy to be able to stop at Goodwill lately to find any new ones. He needed to go to the Omegas in Crisis building too, yet every time he looked at the website he felt a bit like admitting defeat.

“Maybe? I don’t know.” Steve slumped a little into the contact, soaking in the innocent touch like a stray.”All the ones nearby are church-run, and that was the only one in walking distance. There’s another one uptown but I work on the days they meet.” It felt like making excuses. Steve tried to do things he was supposed to do, but he wasn’t getting anywhere. 

Putting down his empty bowl Bucky shuffled closer, Steve's shoulders touching his side to provide some physical comfort. "You could ask Dan and Julio for advice?"

“They’re at Dan’s parents for the long weekend.” Steve would have shrugged but that would have meant dislodging Bucky which he wasn’t about to do.

"But they're gonna be back and won't give you any wouldn't badmouth you.", Bucky remarked, which still sounded like the best option to him.

Steve did think Julio would be alright with giving him advice. Still, he’d bet twenty dollars he didn’t have that Julio would also tell him to take a class. He was pretty insistent on the fact that you could never be too prepared, because pups could throw curve balls at you. He knew Julio was right, but was he supposed to just go to the class that made fun of him for the next four and a half months?

Steve set his bag of snacks on top of his covered thighs,”I have a day off the day after tomorrow. I guess I’ll try and do stuff then.” He had a list a mountain long which was always confined to how late the buses decided to run that day.

It didn't seem like Steve was in the mood for jokes right now, so Bucky refrained from recommending Steve to go to one of the church ran courses and tell them he's carrying the next Messiah. They probably wouldn't find it very funny either.

"...do you need help?" Bucky asked carefully, inwardly preparing himself to be growled at again. "I gotta work, but I could leave around 3." They didn't have any big jobs at the moment, mostly maintenance and changing tires. If the work was done and there's no emergency the garage closed early some days.

The undulating notes of peppers and lilac weren’t a fantastic mix. Steve resented the offer just because that meant he must look like he needed help. No matter what, no matter how down and out they were, his Ma prided herself on keeping them presentable and tidy. He must be running his mouth too much for Bucky to offer.

And yet...He really did need help. He needed help so badly he could cry just at Bucky being nice enough to keep offering. He didn’t deserve all the support he was getting, especially from his neighbor and tentative friend. 

“You don’t gotta do that Buck,” He replied quietly, not refusing, but not agreeing either. 

"I know, I'm a free man and you never tried to talk me into anything." Bucky assured Steve that he wasn't doing this because he felt guilt-tripped. It wasn't like he was offering one of his kidneys. Carrying a few grocery bags for a friend who shouldn't do any heavy lifting was a no-brainer.

"What else is on your list?" Picking up the muffin Steve had given him earlier he took a bite, relishing the taste of blueberries and chocolate. They weren't self-made, that much was clear, but he didn't expect Steve to bake when he had so much more important stuff to take care of.

A thin laugh escaped him, and he unwrapped another mini KitKat.”I need to go to Goodwill, the grocery, and I was thinking about going to that thrift shop on third? Someone at work said they had a lot of good second hand baby stuff there.” He’d gotten a number of baby clothes from Julio who had emphatically stated that after the latest they were absolutely not having any more pups. Judging by how well Julio ignored Dan’s quiet pleading face, it was a done deal.

“And just...another place.” He didn’t want to say the Omegas in Crisis building out loud. Shame churned hot in his gut, and the last thing he wanted was for Bucky to feel sorry for him or do things out of pity.

Other place. The mysterious comment didn't sit right with Bucky. He wanted to ask what kind of place Steve was talking about, but if he'd wanted to share that piece of information he would've done so in the first place. Bucky didn't want to be one of those nosy neighbors.

"You'll have to do several trips if you go all by yourself." Letting Bucky tag along would be more efficient, saving time and energy. Besides, Bucky would get some semi-fresh air and an excuse to get himself soft serve ice cream.

"I can help you with the shopping and you can do whatever else afterwards." This way Steve could keep his little secret.

The thing was, it was easy to give in to Bucky. Too easy. Perhaps it just spoke to how tired Steve was that he was entertaining caving so easily. Bucky was willing, and for whatever reason wasn’t sick of him yet. He had to carve out some time and energy to do something for Bucky to say thank you for all of this, even though he knew there was hardly anything he could ever do to repay him. 

It was Bucky not asking after the mystery stop that eroded what was left of his will.”I’d — really appreciate it. Thank you.” He sighed, blinking up at Bucky through the fan of his dark eyelashes. “But it’s okay if you end up having to work, I can manage.” He tacked on resolutely, not wanting Bucky to go out of his way. 

"No problem. Do you have a phone? Just so I can send you a message in case I have to stay at the garage?" Otherwise, Steve had to wait and let himself be surprised, which wasn't ideal when he already had so much to do.

Steve fished out his outdated phone to pass off to Bucky, so he could program his phone number in. The only reason he even had a phone was because of his job and its special discounts for lines through their benefits package. As soon as he was ‘asked to step down’ he’d lose the phone. And his insurance. And a number of things he really didn’t want to think about right now.

Steve's phone must've been discovered during an archaeological excavation, but the basics seemed to be working and Bucky added his number and name to the contacts before giving it back to his owner.

Steve pocketed his phone and sucked in a steadying breath. “Tell me about your day before we end up just talking about me and my problems or else I really might toss the muffins in the alley.” He warned with a small smile, not wanting to continuously be the focus of attention. He could see why so many pregnant people got tired of going out. No matter what, things always ended up being about how you were an incubator at the moment.

"My days don't tend to be very exciting. I fixed a carburetor, and we got a car in with a ruined paint job. The owner broke up with his girlfriend, and she scratched all over the side with...a stiletto, which is so extra. Like anyone else would've used their keys, but she got creative." The man hadn't left the best first impression and Bucky privately thought that maybe he deserved to get his car ruined, but he wasn't gonna play judge. He was a car mechanic and did his job as good as he could, no matter if his customer was a prime asshole or someone who thought that flirting with him was gonna get them a discount.

Steve snickered at the tale of a pissed-off girlfriend. ”Jeez, if she ruined her shoe he really must have done something bad.” He watched entirely too much TV when he was sick and in bed to know how much feminine shoes could run.

“Personally, I’d hide a bag of Tilapia in the couch cushions before I left.” It was the one thing he was pretty proud of himself over in that breakup. One little spark of the person he used to be before things had gotten so confusing. 

"Alright, I gotta be careful not to get on your bad side." Bucky voiced with an amused chuckle. Although he assumed it took a lot until Steve was going to throw a stone and a stench bomb through his window. Well, depending on his mood swings…

“I don’t think you’re going to knock me up and bolt, so,” Steve regretted saying something that stupid as soon as it was out of his mouth, but it wasn’t that bad, right? Bucky was an Omega and couldn’t even get him pregnant. Only Betas could mate with other Betas, Alphas couldn’t mate, and Omegas couldn’t mate. Which was usually fuel for bigots. Still, that was something to be joked about as long as he didn’t mean it maliciously, right? 

"Pretty sure that's biologically impossible, so you're safe." Bucky was quick to pick up on Steve's banter without taking it too seriously.

"We're gonna celebrate our two-year anniversary with the garage next month. Guess it's gonna be a small barbecue, because you can never have enough of them." He said with a grin. Bucky was proud of his crew and what they'd achieved. There hadn't been any big fights despite their garage having more owners than it was common.

The tension of the day eased as he watched Bucky grin, “That’s awesome, Buck. Congrats. I’m glad you have a job you like, even if it tries to take your hand off sometimes.” He smiled back with a titter before holding up the half-eaten KitKat bag to Bucky to see if he wanted any. If he was going to gorge himself he wasn’t going to do it alone.

"Thank you." Christ, Bucky could feel himself get flustered over Steve's genuine compliment for absolutely no reason and it was a bit embarrassing, but he was quick to keep talking like nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Yeah, it's a bit like working with big metal cats. They even purr if you treat them well." Never saying no to free chocolate it was a miracle he hadn't been kidnapped at some point in his life.

Steve picked up his bitten muffin again,”I know absolutely nothing about cars.” He admitted. He’d sold his mother’s car after she died to help pay part of her medical debt, and he’d never been able to afford one of his own.

"I can assure you that you aren't alone and at least you don't even drive a car." There were people out there coming to them and demanding to know why their pump wasn't working, just for him to find out that they'd tanked up the wrong fuel.

”Are there a lot of Omegas that work jobs like that?” Steve imagined it would be a pretty Alpha-ran business, which only made him admire Bucky more.

"Not many, but one of my friends and co-owners is an Omega too. We've a wild mix of everything and it works. Everyone gets equal pay for the same work." Bucky didn’t doubt that their garage was rather special in this regard. Most Omegas were in the 'light' service industry or typically feminine jobs. 

"You gotta pick your battles, there are too many close-minded jerks out there to fight them all at once."

Steve nibbled on his muffin with significantly less feral burbles of contentment while listening to Bucky talk. Being able to talk and joke with someone was a gift he wasn’t taking for granted. Every moment they could spare like this felt a bit like recharging his batteries after working all day and spending his nights largely in silence just listening to the ambient noise of the apartments around him. The nights he spent with Bucky, Julio, or the nice old Alpha felt like precious gems against cracking concrete.

“Seriously?” Steve gawked a little, licking a stray crumb from his lip. ”The Beta that works across the hall from me that does the same things makes fifty cents more than I do.” He sneered slightly, “If I even brought that up, I bet I’d be fired even faster. I’m basically a glorified secretary.” He shook his head, polishing off his muffin. 

“That’s cool you work for some place that progressive, there’s not a lot of them. That’s for damn sure.”

"Most companies don't care for their employees. Everyone is replaceable and sure ain't being subtle about it. There are perks to being your own boss, but it comes with a big risk in case your plans don't work out and you gotta invest first." In their case the garage hadn't been anything new or innovative. There were dozens of shops all over Brooklyn, so they had to convince people with the quality of their work and fast service.

Steve sipped at his pint of milk with a hum of consideration. Did Bucky say ‘own boss’? Wait, did that mean Bucky owned, or at least partially owned, his shop? Now that Steve thought about it, Bucky sure talked like he did. Damn, Bucky was even more impressive than Steve already thought. How the hell had Bucky managed that? Then again, with Bucky on blockers, hardly anyone would ever know his designation considering his body type. Steve could admit to being a little jealous. 

Steve wasn't in any position where he could complain without having to fear consequences, which sounded a lot like blackmail. Bucky wished he could help Steve find a new job, but even he had to admit that a pregnant Omega wasn't the first choice for any kind of work. The best would be for Steve to keep working in an office or from home office.

He should talk to his friend at the online pharmacy again, ask if they're looking for someone in customer service. Probably not much better than Steve's current job, but with better pay and he would get discounts for the medication they sold.

"What's your dream job? If you could do anything you want?"

The question caught Steve off guard. His expression turned owlish as he looked out over the fire escape as if he was suddenly trying to divine signs of god in the mundane details of the neighboring building’s bricks. 

“Anything?” He repeated, worrying the edge of his blanket in his hands.”Shit, I don’t know if I ever thought about it.” He’d given up on dreams a long, long time ago. That’s what you had to do growing up where he did. The kids he’d known lost their hopes to be something other than common early. 

“...I miss being an artist.” It came out of his mouth before he could stop it. Peppery embarrassment saturated the air around them,”I — don’t know if I was ever any good? But I liked it. Loved it…”

It was somehow saddening that Steve had to think hard about it and for the first time. Didn't everyone have a dream job when, even when you're still a kid? Well, Bucky hadn't become a firefighter after all, but he enjoyed being a mechanic and wouldn't work a more comfortable job where he'd get his hands less dirty.

"As far as I can tell you definitely have talent." Bucky stated, referring to the bassinet Steve had redesigned, turning something from a cheap store to a unique piece of furniture. And he obviously had passion when he spoke about arts like that.

Steve abruptly felt far too warm under his hoodie and blanket. He’d never handled compliments well, mainly because they’d been so rare out of anyone save for his mother. Hearing Bucky say something like that turned his insides to pleased goo and the snickerdoodle smell was getting to saccharine levels around him.

Bucky involuntarily leaned closer, then swayed back again upon realizing what he's doing, behaving as if Steve's scent was high-proof liquor. He didn't understand what caused those slips of self-control, because he didn't get this weird around other Omegas, he kept his distance and didn't get affected. It must be Steve's pregnancy, the additional hormones that urged Bucky to proactively curl his body around Steve, wanting to keep him safe and warm.

Steve had a blanket, several of them and a lock on his door. He was safe and warm without an Alpha guarding him.

"You should try to be an artist again if only during your downtime. It might help to decompress a bit." He added since Steve seemed kinda stressed or upset most of the time when they met. Crafting or drawing wouldn't solve his problems, but it was a hobby and distraction from work, something everyone should have.

Steve didn’t have the heart to tell Bucky that being an artist was expensive. There was a reason he gave it up, and it wasn’t only Gilmore being an asshole. Paints, canvases, even good pencils were staggeringly costly if you needed them constantly. And trying to make money off of it was useless if you didn’t have connections.

“Maybe I’ll snag a notebook or something out from work, “ Steve mused. He could at least do pointless sketching. No one had to see it, and it would be a way to pass the time instead of just lazing around his apartment when he got home from work. He was allowed to have hobbies now, why not?

"And ball pens." Bucky added helpfully. If Steve's boss was a dick, paying him less than his coworker because of his gender he deserved to lose all of his office supplies and the printers.

”It would be nice to have something to do.", he conceded. “I kind of don’t have any hobbies going right now. Do you?” He was eager to know more about Bucky now that they could actually talk without interruptions.

"...does solving crossword puzzles count?" Bucky asked with a mix between a snort and laughter. "I'm an old man with lame hobbies." He admitted, hunching his shoulders in a shrug. "Used to go dancing a lot, but classes are expensive and my partner is busy, so I keep myself entertained."

Steve snorted, “Crossword puzzles? You really are an old man.”, he teased. “Do you do them while you watch Jeopardy?” He hadn’t felt this free to be himself in — years. Literal years. It was beyond freeing to know that Bucky wouldn’t take offense to little teases, the kind of banter that friends shared. He had to be careful because part of him wanted to latch onto these interactions like a lifeline. That wouldn’t do, Dot already hated him, and Steve couldn’t let himself want more out of the few friends he’d been blessed with since moving here or else they would leave as well. 

"Laugh it up, buttercup but one day I'm gonna participate in one of those shows and win the big prize 'cause I can name all...rivers and Fall Out Boy songs." Bucky claimed with a huff, while another smile tugged the corners of his lips upwards. His dad was a big Jeopardy fan, so of course Bucky knew what it was about, but he wasn't very invested in the quiz show himself. Yet it wasn't exactly boast worthy material that his guilty pleasure was Grey's Anatomy instead.

“I’m sure your trip to Branson will be everything you’ve ever dreamed of,” Steve’s grin turned positively shit-eating. He was surprised at how normal Bucky was considering he looked like a sports illustrated model. He kind of expected Bucky to say he had a thriving social life and went out and did things rather than being such a domestic. It was ridiculously charming.

“Sounds like I’m not the only one that needs a hobby then,” Steve chuckled, stretching out his legs until his bare feet poked out from the edge of the blanket. Julio’s daughter had painted his toenails a glittery purple last week. 

"Yeah, but if I draw you'd think it's been created by a toddler and I don't get that bonus anymore where you praise kids for something unidentifiable. My dogs look like cows, 's a real tragedy." Good thing Bucky hadn't become a sketch artist for the police, or they'd never find the criminal.

“Could just say you’re an impressionist, you see some of the galleries in this city? You can sneeze on a canvas these days and call it art.” There sounded like a rant behind there, but Steve wisely kept himself brief. Despite not being involved in the art world anymore, he still liked to keep up when he could. Reading magazines at the library or surfing the internet.

"Guess my art career just started then.", Bucky jokingly changed his mind. He hadn't been to a gallery...ever? He'd been in the Metropolitan Museum of Art with his family when they visited him because half of them were interested in visiting and the rest didn't care enough to protest. It had been a relaxed afternoon, nothing that had left a lasting impression tho. Maybe if he had been someone with him who actually knew what they're looking at it would be more interesting than simply reading the title on the small plate beneath.

Steve’s snickering continued, prior worries dissolving away. “I’ve never been a dancer. I went to one in highschool and tripped my partner into the punch bowl.” Steve grimaced at the memory. It just felt like a bead in the long string of horrendous embarrassments suffered in school. Omegas usually were the cream of the crop in popularity or the worst of the outliers. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where Steve occupied. 

“What kind of dancing?”

"Well, you gave them a show, that's for sure." It was a funny story to tell now, but back then poor Steve had probably been mortified. Bucky never had an accident like that. If he crashed into a punch bowl it was 100% on purpose and with his face first.

"The basic stuff at first, like Waltz and Foxtrot. Later the Latin dances caught my interest. They have a completely different vibe and I saw people tell stories just with their dancing and I thought that's really amazing." The fact that there was a lot of physical contact didn't hurt either.

The more Bucky went on about dancing, the more impressed Steve looked. ”You know how to foxtrot?” Scratch that about Bucky being normal, he was something else. An Omega with a hard job and he could dance? That was...wow. ”How’d you learn? Where?” He pressed, shimmying a little to the side, so he could turn his full attention towards Bucky, unaware that it was getting on in the night when he should be thinking about getting his things set out for work tomorrow and showered.

"A girl from my old neighborhood started teaching me complaining that there weren't enough good dancers out there and she didn't want me to make a fool outta myself at prom." At first Bucky had only agreed because he had a crush on the girl, but then he enjoyed it and wanted to keep learning. 

"I took a few classes too, but they're pretty expensive." With his ongoing expenses for both the rent for the garage and his flat he didn't have money for such luxury hobbies to spare anymore. "Once you get the hang of it you can go to clubs. They have special Latin nights and stuff. That's how he met half of his...dancing partners.

They kept talking until it was getting dark, not enough for Bucky not to see Steve shiver under his blanket. "It's getting cold, let's call it a night." Bucky stated, collecting his bowl and a few candy wrappers.

The pleasant fog of Steve’s wind-swept cinnamon and sugar muted a little at the realization that they needed to pack it in. “Yeah, I probably need to eat something more than sugar before bed too.” He smirked, looking down at the wasteland that was the plastic container of muffins that only boasted one left, and his mostly eaten bag of KitKats. At least he’d only drank half his pint of milk. 

“Night, Bucky.” He gathered up his things with a lingering smile, waving briefly before disappearing into his apartment for the night. It was easier to sleep after having those kinds of interactions, they left him feeling light. Normal.

"Get those carbs." Bucky encouraged him with an enthusiastic grin, bending his legs to get up. He felt like the shape of the fire escape's grit was now immortalized on his ass.

"Night Steve." Bucky waved goodbye with one hand, climbing back into his apartment. Dot arrived half an hour later, and they fell into bed together without talking much. As far as he's aware the play was still a success and Dot had gotten a new offer for a different role from the director. They hadn't talked details yet and the contract wasn't signed, but Dot was optimistic and Bucky was happy for her to climb the ladder of success.

—-  
Granted, that ease over the next two weeks didn’t last. Alternating between long work shifts and his body’s traitorous descent into pregnancy arousal, he was in hell. It wasn’t bad enough that he was already wearing compression socks and a heating pad on his back all the time, nooo, he had to be horny as well. Why did people want to be pregnant?

He hoped his scent was muted enough by the general office smells so his coworkers didn’t smell it on him, but there was nothing he could do about it once he got home. Maybe the apartments had better ventilation systems than they looked. It wasn’t like he had the time to sit around pleasuring himself anyway, he was usually just too damn tired.

Grumbling, he finally remembered to text Bucky about his information gathering.[So a new place is offering intro classes out of a yoga, new-agey studio. Didn’t sound awful.] The ‘but’ was implied in there, but he wasn’t going to sit there and type out that he was being a chicken either.

[Sounds great! You gonna go? :)], Bucky typed back shortly after receiving Steve's message. They texted on a regular basis since they'd exchanged numbers, talking about their days and sometimes Bucky would send Steve pictures of things that reminded him of his friend or made him think he'd like the image. The purple-pink sunrise when he left for work at the ass crack of dawn. It was a miracle Steve could open those pictures on his phone.

Bucky just stepped out of the crowded bus, pocketing his mobile while walking back to his apartment complex, a plastic bag in one hand. Passing Steve's door, Bucky's nose immediately picked up on the smell of arousal and it didn't take a genius to figure out where it was coming from. Lord have mercy on him...he didn't get laid often enough lately that his body didn't react to it. Quickly crossing the distance to his own flat Bucky slipped inside, closing the door behind him as if this way he could keep out some imaginary incubus trying to seduce him.

For Steve, things didn’t feel as awful lately, loneliness wise. Did he still miss someone’s body heat next to his? Yes, undeniably, but he didn’t feel so alone. He had three phone numbers in his contact list that weren’t doctors or work now, and even regularly texted Bucky, sometimes Julio. It felt like progress. It felt like recovery.

[No], Steve readily replied, shifting uncomfortably on his couch as he tried to ignore the persistent heat pooled against his Omega-canal. The doctor said it was normal, just his blood volume increasing and sending extra to the organs used for birth. Steve questioned his definition of ‘normal’. 

[But I guess I have to.] He sent seconds later, heaving a heavy sigh. [At least the studio is next to Cinnabon], as if he needed to spend money on that, but he was pregnant and walking past a Cinnabon was beyond his realm of control. He’d gained a few more pounds outside of just the baby weight and was starting to look a lot less waifish because of it. He was still far out of the realm of healthy-weight for carrying, but he felt less like the kid was killing him like a big giant leech.

[On a slightly related note, this week it’s corn dogs.] He’d made it a point to tell Bucky what his week’s zany cravings were because it amused him. Last week it had been quesadillas, and now he had a box of corn dogs in his freezer he was about to revisit for dinner. Again.

Taking a breath of relief there's still a whiff of cinnamon and another spice in the air, but luckily less strong and Bucky hoped the scent neutralizer would take care of it. Instead of constantly using spray bottles he'd switched to a stationary air freshener.

He pulled his phone out of his pants pocket, knowing from the brief buzzing that he'd received more messages and wasn't disappointed. [You should go and treat yourself afterwards!] Was it a good idea to encourage Steve's unhealthy eating habits? Maybe, but this was better than Steve trying to eat broccoli and throwing up. 

[As if I haven’t been doing that enough. I can actually pinch my side now. Fuckin wild,] Steve tended to be crasser and more relaxed texting than he was verbally, not having to worry about people responding to his scent when he couldn’t read theirs back.

Speaking of greens, Bucky had bought some fruits that had been on sale, intending to share them with Steve, but he didn't dare to go over right now or knock on his window when the hallway already had been like wading through a cloud of Viagra.

[Show off], which was safer than writing something about the importance of love handles. Logging into his Netflix account he decided to continue a series he'd started watching together with Dot, but it had been weeks ago and there's a slim chance they'd keep watching it anytime soon, so surely she wouldn't mind.

[I'm starting to see a pattern. My bet is on subs for next week.] He swiftly wrote before unloading the bag and sitting down on the couch.

[Started on your next master piece yet?]

[As if I haven’t been doing that enough. I can actually pinch my side now. Fuckin wild,] Steve tended to be crasser and more relaxed texting than he was verbally, not having to worry about people responding to his scent when he couldn’t read theirs back.

Steve abandoned the couch to head into his room, stripping his clothes off as he went. He needed a shower. He stunk like the horny bloated monster he was. Only sheer determination combined with his aching back was keeping his fingers from being buried up to the last knuckles in his ass right now. As if being pregnant wasn’t humiliating enough. Biology was a load of bullshit. 

[It had better be something cheap and easy, like mac n cheese. And if you consider wrestling a pattern for cloth diapers a masterpiece, then sure. I did doodle a little during my lunch break though,] He’d taken Bucky’s advice and lifted some supplies from work. He felt like a regular outlaw smuggling office supplies in his backpack. 

[Fingers crossed. Every fashion designer has to start somewhere! I'm glad you're being creative again] Bucky couldn't scent Steve's emotions right now, but he liked to believe that he felt slightly better after those small achievements.

Steve’s metaphorical tail was wagging when Bucky’s upbeat ease at encouraging him soothed some of his frazzled nerves. [Alright crossword boy, I’m up a hobby, your move.] He typed back playfully, nevermind that he was standing butt-ass naked in the middle of his bathroom, putting off his shower just so he could talk to Bucky. 

[I'm waiting for a new trend] Bucky grinned at his phone upon reading Steve's snarky reply. He'd appeared timid in the beginning just like the cliché Omega magazines and movies liked to portray, but it was good to see that there's more to him. Bucky just couldn't see the appeal of someone not speaking up for themselves and simply submitting to his will, behaving like they weren't equals. Unfortunately a lot of Omegas still grew up being taught that they're worth less than their counterparts.

[Any word on Dot’s other play?] Steve tried to be nice and respectful and ask about Dot every once in a while, even if Bucky largely didn’t seem to know, which was a little...odd. But who was he to judge another person’s relationship considering where his last one landed him.  
[She's officially the second cast for one of the lead roles] A reason to celebrate in Bucky's opinion, yet Dot had been disappointed she only got the runner-up slot. It meant she wasn't playing for the big shows in the evening, but the less attended ones during the afternoon. [She's gonna be home more often again] Bucky felt guilty when sending the last message. He should be happy to be able to spend more time with his girlfriend again, and he looked forward to it, just- 

Steve and him wouldn't be able to hang out on the fire escape like they used to anymore.

[That’s...good right?] Steve had no idea what second cast meant, but he was assuming it was a good thing, [Hey, that’s cool.] He wished he could say something more enthusiastic, but he’d come to the same conclusion as Bucky had. 

[It's great], he confirmed, because that's what he'd wanted, that's why they'd gotten into fights before. This would help to ease the strain that had built up between the two of them. It just sucked that he had to somewhat dump Steve in return. Other couples had their circles of friends to hang out with too. It didn't seem fair that Bucky couldn't have both.

The happy, contented sensation dwindled in Steve’s chest. At least it dampened his arousal problem. Small reward for a big problem. 

[Tell her I said congratulations,] If Bucky could even do that without getting in trouble for talking to him. He wasn’t even sure the scope on how much Dot disliked him, but the argument he’d overheard replayed often in his head enough to remind him about it. 

[Thanks, will do] Or maybe not. Telling Dot that they'd exchanged numbers and texted on a regular basis wasn't the best idea. On the other hand he didn't want another secret he couldn't share with her.

Steve stared down at his phone as the replies pinged. The ease and fun of the conversation felt like it was draining now that Dot had come up, and yeah, that was uncharitable of him. Didn’t make it any less true though. Apparently Bucky could have friends, just not be friends with him.

Sighing, Steve leaned against the wall.[I guess I’ll try one of the classes on Friday, see if this one paints a scarlet A on me too.]

[I hope it's going better than the last one and if you need backup to kick their asses you can count on me] Bucky had considered asking Steve if he wanted him to come along, but that would look weird right? Everyone would assume he's the father and Steve would be embarrassed about the misunderstanding.

The rest of Steve’s arousal dimmed as the London fog of disappointment flooded his small bathroom. It shouldn’t feel like a fresh kick in the teeth, not with how life usually went, but it did. It hurt.

[Here’s hoping. I’m going to grab a shower and turn in,] It was still early, yet he was abruptly exhausted. The combination of his raging, pendulous hormones and his body’s usual brand of awful were kicking his ass right now. 

[Night, Buck. :)] He set his phone on the counter, trying not to feel like it would be one of the few conversations he’d be allowed now that Dot would be around more. 

Who knew, maybe he’d actually meet some people at classes. It could happen.

[Sounds like a plan. Good night, Stevie! :)], Bucky sent his reply before setting the phone aside. The screen didn't light up again, and he started to focus on the series instead. He stayed up until Dot got home, asked for her new schedule, and they managed to come up with a few plans what they wanted to do together before going to bed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For our early subscribers make sure to check out chapter one for some kickass art!!<3-- Neon

Bucky walked across the fire escape three days later, knocking on Steve's window. Today was their last opportunity to hang out here and he didn't want to miss the chance. One of his friends had unhelpfully pointed out that Bucky behaved like he was having an affair, which was complete bullshit. Steve and he didn't meet for secret make outs, they just shared food and talk, he definitely wasn't cheating. His feelings for Dot hadn't changed and Bucky still intended to propose this winter.

The fruits he'd bought several days ago were gone, but he'd purchased some fruit salad and donuts, so he wasn't showing up empty-handed. He'd texted Steve an hour ago if he wanted to meet up and had gotten a positive reply, which meant he should be at home despite the curtains being pulled close.

Honestly, Steve hadn’t expected Bucky to ask him to meet so soon. He would have thought Dot’s new schedule would have gone into effect, but he was sure glad Bucky texted. 

Granted that also meant hurriedly rolling himself out of his nest and dashing to the bathroom for a shower. Without an Alpha’s bite to help regulate his hormones and scent, he’d taken to showering in the morning and at night. He was going to shower early now since he didn’t want Bucky to smell that as soon as he’d gotten home from work he’d had his jeans around his ankles and his fingers — elsewhere. 

Steve blanched thinking about it. He’d given in and bought allergen masks just so he could periodically spray his apartment down with scent-blockers.

He quickly dressed in a hoodie-with-leggings combo. Around the time he was loading his arms with snacks and his blanket, he heard Bucky knock. Grinning, he hurried over and motioned for Bucky to open the unlatched window so he could wiggle outside. 

"Lemme help you." Bucky took the snack from Steve after pulling open the window, so he could climb out using both of his hands.

“I get much fatter and I’ll need a bigger window.”, Steve smirked, sitting down with a huff. He felt pudgy and bloated, despite looking healthier than he had since before his mother had died.

"Uh sure, let's worry about that once it happens," Bucky remarked with an amused chuckle, standing close just in case Steve needed his assistance. "And in order to reach that goal, I've brought some more sweets.", he announced while sitting down beside Steve, putting down the box of donuts and fruit salad between them.

Steve’s eyes lit up like Christmas morning when Bucky revealed donuts. Nevermind that he’d brought a bag of bite-size cookies and a package of sweet-potato-chips(he needed the potassium).

"The ones with sprinkles are basic and the glazed ones have filling." Taking a glazed donut himself Bucky took a hearty bite, chewing and swallowing before speaking up again.

“God, I could kiss you right now.” He made grabby-hands at the donut and sat back with the air of a raccoon that had just gotten into the trash and found a goldmine. He didn’t even register what he’d said.

Obviously, given the choice between fruit and donuts, Steve went with the latter. He plucked up one that had sprinkles, wanting the texture of the crunch since things with goo were turning his stomach right now.

"I shouldn't fuel your addiction," Bucky remarked with a sigh, yet not regretting his purchase when seeing the blissed expression on Steve's face. "Don't forget to eat a bit of the fruit too." he reminded him, much like a parent who wanted his kid to eat their greens.

“Fruit after donuts,” Steve mumbled around his bite, a low purr swelling in his chest. It felt like his body was making up for a lifetime of starvation periods. For the past two weeks, he’d just wanted to cram everything he could in his face, and admittedly his paycheck didn’t really keep up. At least he’d been able to buy pasta, rice, and other bulk staples on sale.

"Usually you reward yourself after you do something you don't like." Bucky pointed out with a slight smirk, not really minding that Steve was bending the rules. He felt like feeding and sitting beside a cat due to the quiet, rumbling noises Steve kept uttering. Just like his smile he probably couldn't help it.

"I wanna hear some good news from your classes. How's it going?" Bucky hadn't heard anything over text yet, which was either bad news and Steve didn't want to bring it up or food and he wanted to tell him face to face. Of course, Bucky hoped for the latter

Mid-bite Steves contentment turned guilty and he cut his eyes towards Bucky with a sheepish half-grin around the donut.”I…” He finished chewing his bite and swallowed,” Technically haven’t gone yet?” He stuffed the rest of the mini-donut in his mouth as if that would cover up the evidence of him being spectacularly shitty. He knew he needed to go to those introduction classes that lead up to the big-time classes, but he just didn’t want to. The last one had terrified him and the idea of putting himself through that again made him swerve from the door every time.

"Technically?" That meant Steve hadn't been there practically either. "...but you're still planning on going, right?" Bucky asked instead of giving Steve a disapproving look that probably wouldn't be very encouraging. "I know the last one sucked, but this one might be different and you won't be able to find out unless you try." 

Finishing his donut in a few more bites Bucky didn't pause before picking up the next one. It wasn't his strength to enjoy his food slowly or properly chewing twenty times. The donuts were so soft that they quickly dissolved anyway.

Steve shyly licked a bit of powdered sugar and sprinkles from his lips, a hot flush of shame burning up the back of his neck. He didn’t know why he felt a bit like he was letting Bucky down. He valued Bucky’s opinion, especially of him. He didn’t want to look like the raging mess he must after Bucky saw him at his literal worst these past months.

Bucky was right. He at least needed to try, but after he’d gotten up the courage and been let down so hard? It was tough. He didn’t have the resilience he did when he was younger. He was doing the best he could, and it just wasn’t enough. 

"Do you want me to come with you? No promise that I'll be of any help tho. I've never changed diapers before." Bucky offered.

Steve coughed around his last bite, floundering until he fished his water bottle from his blanket to guide the donut down.”You don’t gotta do that Buck,” Dot would go through the roof!”I’m just being a coward, I’ll — I’ll get over it.” As desperately as he wanted someone to go with him, he didn’t want to keep dragging Bucky into his hot mess of a life.

"Okay, I believe in you.", Bucky replied with half his mouth full. He didn't want to put any more pressure on Steve as he already had and if he needed some more time to gather his courage and go then he should get it.

Now he felt even worse. Why did Bucky have to be so understanding? It made it really hard to know he was going to have to get used to distancing himself again. Steve had grown so used to the free interaction lately that Dot’s impending return into normalcy felt a little like already mourning a friend. He already had so few of those, he didn’t want to have to give these moments up. 

“Glad you do,” Steve sighed, reaching to take the bowl of fruit now that he had effectively self-shamed himself out of another donut. 

"I could pretend to be your Alpha, show up once so they don't give you shit, and then stop participating 'cause I'm super busy and important. It's the perfect alibi." Bucky wasn't taking his own suggestion too seriously, yet what did it matter to him if he lied to a bunch of strangers.

Steve paused, a lemon-zest burst of surprise tempered with lavender hope momentarily filling the air until the soft breeze swept it away. 

Someone had to put some faith in him and apparently it wasn't going to be Steve himself. Catching a whiff of what he would describe as herb-infused lemonade Bucky always found it a bit heartbreaking how genuinely surprised Steve reacted when being offered a favor, no matter how small it was.

“You’d do that?” Normally, the idea alone would piss Steve off to yelling. He shouldn’t need someone posturing as an Alpha just to get people to leave him alone. But… he just wanted people to let him be. He just wanted to find a way to have this baby and survive. He didn’t need to know anyone else’s opinions on how he’d fucked up. 

“Shit, sorry, I shouldn’t have. You don’t have to do that,” He added immediately after, backing out of it as hard as he could despite the momentary hope that had washed over him. He couldn’t ask anything else out of Bucky.

"I don't care what strangers think of me.", Bucky returned with a shrug. He had no intentions to befriend anyone of Steve's group and appear at their garden parties, so upholding the lie of them being a couple should be pretty easy. He'd pretended to be exclusively straight for half of his life, he could pretend to be gay for Steve over the duration of a class.

I don’t care what strangers think of me.

It was a sentence Steve had said in his life, a long time ago and he wasn’t sure when that had changed. Actually, that was a lie, he knew exactly the whys and hows of why things had changed, and he was ashamed of himself for letting one person change him so thoroughly. He’d given Gilmore everything, even his goddamn personality.

"What are the chances of them being a bunch of open-minded, welcoming people?" Bucky asked, not wanting to sound cynical here, but they also had to stay realistic. "If this ends up to be another failed attempt I don't think you're gonna try again...am I right?" This wasn't him calling Steve a coward, it was understandable to give up sometimes when being faced with so much negativity.

Steve snorted quietly at Bucky’s question, brow quirking with the tone of ‘really?’. ”I was genuinely surprised when people here in the apartment weren’t assholes. All those stupid stigmas, you think they’d be gone in the city but surprise, still alive and well.”, he rolled his eyes, sure Bucky would know what he was talking about. Being a small Omega was awful, but being a larger one must be its own unique challenge.

“But Buck, if Dot found out wouldn’t she...you know?” Steve didn’t want to say ‘go apeshit on you’ but he made it clear enough with his scent and eyes what he was trying to imply. He’d heard them argue before, clearly, he didn’t want to be the source of that. Again.

"I won't rub it into her face and as long as you don't bring it up either she won't find out. It's not a big deal." Bucky was quick to downplay Steve's concerns. There's a difference between withholding information and lying to Dot's face. Bucky didn't want to do the latter, but he didn't feel guilty for helping Steve behind her back.

"It's only one time anyway.", Bucky reminded him of his initial plan. After that Steve could go by himself and if necessary exercise with the group leader.

Right, no one tip her off and Bucky wasn’t going to either. Steve felt like a real heel going behind Dot’s back, especially when they weren’t even doing anything. He didn’t have a deathwish, being an unmated Omega going around like that with another Omega? There were still hate crimes happening in the city with couples like that, and it was awful. Not that he would ever think of him and Bucky like that. 

“Right,” Steve agreed readily as he leaned back to text Bucky the schedule for the meetings to see when they would be able to combine their schedules. 

“Know any Alphas you could bum a shirt off of or something? If you really want to sell it?” Pregnant Omegas liked their Alpha’s scent, after all, not many wore or took heavy scent blockers while their Omegas were pregnant just so they could provide the hormone-stimulating pheromones.

"I'm sure Dum Dum can lend me one of his. Friend from the garage." Bucky added in explanation since he hadn't mentioned him in front of Steve before. Dum Dum smelled like a mix of old spice and mint. A bit weird at first, but it didn't make Bucky's hackles rise as much as some other Alpha scents. He's also the only guy at the garage with a similar build as Bucky, so he wouldn't risk ripping the shirt during the exercises.

Dot wouldn't be suspicious of the other Alpha's scent either since they often worked closely together. It sounded like a pretty bulletproof plan.

Going for the last jam-filled donut Bucky left the rest for Steve to eat up or take back inside with him. "Can you text me the address too?"

Now that they had a plan, Steve was practically purring with excitement. Bucky once again proved to be better than Steve rightly deserved. He didn’t know how he’d managed to find the one apartment in New york city that had a good ratio of amazing people, but he’d hormone-cried in thanks more than once. Thanks to everyone, he had a few things ready for the baby, he wasn’t going hungry, and Bucky had helped him more than he could ever say. 

He nodded and copy-and-pasted the address from his notepad over to Bucky since his phone was too ancient to just google-map it over. Having a flashy phone was the least of his worries these days. 

Now that he’d started the fruit was really hitting the spot, and he popped a strawberry into his mouth with a rumble of pleasure. His scent wasn’t as steamy as it had been before, but the low-burning heat of just being fed and warm started to thread tendrils.

“How’s it been going?” Steve asked, now that they’d sorted how his usual amount of bullshit.

"Pretty good. Had that BBQ with the crew and surprisingly nothing was set on fire aside from a few marshmallows. There's always a bit of collateral damage." Bucky kept talking while Steve busied himself with the fruit mix.

“Ugh, don’t talk about toasted marshmallows to a pregnant guy, do you have a death wish?” Steve teased, trying not to think how short the walk to the convenience store a street over was. He did not need to have any kind of open flame in his apartment, even if the thought of blackened marshmallows made him equal parts hungry and horny.

"Is there any kind of food I can mention around you?", Bucky retorted with a chuckle. "Nevermind, we roasted some delicious kale." He corrected his previous statement.

“Don’t tempt me.” Steve warned ‘dangerously’, peeling his pale pink upper lip from his petite Omega fangs with an impish twinkle in his eyes. He knew he was even less threatening than most Omegas, even his fangs were on the small side, little points past his normal teeth. Just enough for breaking the skin, as if that would ever happen. 

The brief flash of teeth, paired with Steve's daring tone of voice did something to Bucky’s insides that didn't feel healthy. Or maybe he should've chewed his donuts more than twice before swallowing.

Bucky’s phone buzzed in his pocket with another message from Steve and another from Dot. "Sorry." Bucky briefly apologized to Steve before answering her that Indian sounded good and he hadn't cooked anything. Bucky didn't like texting while he had company, though it had become rather common.

Steve politely kept quiet while Bucky replied to Dot, the marshmallow-lust replaced by something even more foolish. Jealousy. Not of Dot, not really, just...It’d be nice to have someone to talk dinner plans with. He was feeling the lack of a warm body next to him more and more these days, especially when his hormones decided to be an asshole about it.

Putting the phone away again Bucky picked up a raspberry, which were his favorite berries of the whole mix. The taste just matched really well with Steve's scent, almost like having a complimentary wine with his dessert.

"And you'll be ecstatic to hear that I'm now no longer just solving crossword puzzles but Sudoku too.

“Really living wild, aren’t you?” Stucky snorted,”I don’t get it, you’ve got me completely disillusioned. TV makes it seem like people like you are real glamorous, and you’ve got more boring hobbies than I do.” He smirked, not thinking much on the ‘people like you’ comment. Bucky had to know how attractive he was. He wasn’t blind. 

“Next thing you know, you’re going to branch out to playing cards and then I’ll have to call the cops on you for a noise complaint.” He grinned, snagging a melon ball.

"I have the soul of a 100-year-old man Steve. Just 'cause I look like a hotter version of James Dean, doesn't mean we share the same lifestyle." Bucky stated, running a hand through his hair and letting his bangs flop back into his face just for show. His fingers got stuck in some tangles halfway through the motion, but he'd made his point. And needed to brush his hair.

Funny enough his mum's huge crush for the late James Dean had earned him his name. He'd even had the same hairstyle for as long as he allowed his ma to cut his hair. His current choice just made her give him mournful looks.

"Won't happen, I'm really bad at poker, but...maybe uno." Bucky considered aloud with an amused grin. Steve could've already filed a noise complaint if he wanted, everyone in his building could, but the cops wouldn't care. Bucky knew because he once tried to get the previous neighbor from 107 to turn down the bass around midnight, so his bones would stop trying to vibrate out of his flesh.

Steve snorted-laughed around his next bite of grapes at the combo of Bucky’s ‘suave’ hair combing technique and — ”Uno? I’m glad I know you drink beer or else I’d swear the next thing out of your mouth would be ‘I drink a glass of warm milk before bed’. You’re really letting me down here man, please tell me you’ve at least punched one shark in your life or else I’m going to think those biker-boots you wear all the time are a bold lie.”

“You’ve been given gifts and you squander them,” Steve tittered, shaking his head. God, if he looked like Bucky and had a healthy body to match — Well, he wouldn’t be knocked up or regularly watching Netflix on a Friday night, that’s for damn sure.

"You're saying I should quit my job and become a stripper à la Magic Mike in Vegas? I'm feeling so objectified by you, Steve." Bucky accused him, though his expression kept ruining the effect. "No seriously, I think I've used enough of that 'gift' since I was sixt- uh legal age that I'm still recovering from it." There's also the fact that he was in a steady relationship for over two years now and would feel like a douchebag for flirting with the barista to get some extra whipped cream for his coffee.

"I wrestled a crocodile and its skin is now my bedside rug.", Bucky claimed because that sounded more impressive than the only big fight he ever got into was during college with some frat boy.

Steve clapped a hand over his mouth to quiet his laughter or else people were doing to start peering out their window to see who was making so much noise on the fire escape. No one could make him laugh like Bucky did, it just came easier around him. It had been a while since he felt like he could let his guard down around someone enough to feel this comfortable just being himself. 

“Huh, I feel like I have a lot to unpack here.” Steve returned to his snacks for a salty break to balance out all the sugar. Not that he wasn’t going to return for another donut after a few mouthfuls of salt. 

“So you got all your feisty out as a teenager?” He mused aloud,”You wrestle that crocodile in your golden youth too?” He was going to breeze by any reference to Magic Mike or Bucky in the same sentence. That would only uncork more of those ridiculous urges his body tried to trigger as soon as he so much thought of someone attractive. Or hell, a bar of chocolate if he was hungry enough. His libido was about as picky as his stomach was these days. 

Bucky was pretty sure he'd never shared so many details of his life with someone he only knew for such a short time, but Steve never made him regret any of it and had opened up just as much.

"Frankly, I was a slut with zero shame.", Bucky admitted, giving the plastic container a light shake until another raspberry was on top. "Obviously I did that on my 18th birthday as a rite to prove that I'm a real man now. Why else would somebody attempt to wrestle one of the most dangerous reptiles on earth?”

Steve snickered more. He could see that, honestly. Someone as good looking as Bucky? Hell, Steve apparently couldn’t make himself behave and he looked like himself, maybe it was god’s way of keeping a little more chaos out of the streets that he was born tiny and subpar in the looks department(in his opinion). 

“Of course, any other time would obviously be ridiculous.” He grinned, crunching into one of the salty sweet-potato chips with a contented purr. 

“Come on, I’ve even spent a night — or ten, in jail before.”

"You did not." Bucky gaped at him in disbelief. "You're kidding me..." Steve just wanted to claim the bad boy award.

"What did you do to get locked up?" Not like someone with Steve's build and size couldn't cause trouble, Bucky didn't doubt that, but Steve appeared like a rather peaceful fella. Aside from his small mood swings, yet that those weren't bad enough to turn him into an arsonist.

Steve’s smile turned devilish, “Hey I was hellion believe it or not. Probably didn’t get up to near as much fun as you did, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut for nothin’.” He shook his head, “First time I spent an overnight was ‘cause I got in a barfight in a bar I uh...wasn’t old enough to be in — In my defense, my friend was going to do something stupid.” Which obviously meant he had to back him up, nevermind he was underage and underweight to boot.

”Second time, I …accidentally, paint-bombed a cop car.” He winched, “It was at an Omega-rights rally, my aim has always been shit, the cops came — and well. Whoops. They arrested a lot of protesters,” He shrugged, “Dickhole had it out for me.”, Steve huffed, cramming his mouth full. He left out the fact that most of the other Omegas had people to bail them out. By then he’d been alone, and he’d spent the next week with two other Omegas and a Beta that didn’t have anyone else in the world either. Sometimes he thought he should look them up on Facebook and see how they were. He’d just...fallen out of touch with a lot of people these past few years.

“Spent about a week before a law office Pro-bonoed getting the rest of us outta there, made the five-o-clock news.” He sounded unreasonably proud of that.

Picking up the raspberry to plop it into his mouth Bucky listened attentively to Steve's tales. ‘In my defense’. Bucky just rolled his eyes at the remark with a gleeful smile. No, Steve's free time activities didn't sound like much fun, but Bucky couldn't detect any regret in his voice.

"I think anyone who would get his car paint-bombed would have it out for you." At least Steve hadn't thrown bottles, so Bucky didn't feel too bad for the cop. It was for a good cause, though Bucky was more of a passive supporter, never attending any protests himself.

"Hope you didn't put that on the front page of your CV." Bucky remarked with a light snort. All those 'crimes' Steve had committed weren't even judge-worthy in Bucky's opinion and he was relieved to hear that it wasn't anything serious. Still, Steve better stayed far away from jail while being pregnant...and preferably afterward as well.

“Doesn’t help that I knew that cop, “ Steve grumbled sourly, “Rollins always was a bully. He stunk like burning tires and tabasco.” He smirked, nose scrunching at the scent memory. He always had a sensitive nose when it wasn’t plugged up by his allergies. He was a firm believer in his body knowing the kind of people he would and wouldn’t like by his nose, but then again Gilmore had shaken that belief a little. The smell of cut grass and whiskey had been nice at first, but he was allergic to everything green and wasn’t much of a drinker. He should’ve known.

"Then you should never visit me at work on Taco Tuesday." Bucky was just glad that his natural scent wasn't anything overly spicy, not that it mattered with the scent blockers he's taking. Now he was like a cat, absorbing the smells that surrounded him as if his body tried to make up for the lack of his own scent.

The comment spurred another round of ‘What the fuck would Bucky smell like?’ in Steve’s head. Bucky was so handsome and masculine Steve imagined his smell would reflect it. Something like sandalwood or freshly polished leather. He caught himself before he could try and overtly sniff the air. Not only was it bad manners, but Bucky was on the good scent-blockers so there just wasn’t anything there, much to Steve’s disappointment. He wished it wasn’t a social norm to have you scent masked all the time. It felt so isolating

"You're full of surprises, Rogers." He clicked his tongue. Feeling bold Bucky reached out with his right hand to steal one of Steve's chips.

Steve ducked his head with a shy smile that quickly turned into a surprised scoff.”Keep pushin’ me Barnes, you’ll lose a finger.” He clacked his petite fangs threateningly,” Who has the criminal record here?” He teased, unable to keep up the posturing long. 

"Worth it," Bucky replied with a triumphant smirk, shoving the chips into his mouth and crunching them. He'd almost dared Steve to try and bite his finger off with those cute little fangs, but that might have put his friend in a bad mood. Teasing someone about their fangs or smell was a very sensitive matter.

Curious, Steve stacked a blueberry on top of one of his chips and crunched into it, another pleased rumble filling his chest. “God I better gain some weight from all this,” It’d be nice not to have to buy pants in the kid’s section, but he wasn’t counting on his ‘stellar’ luck to come through.

"You should gain at least one pound from those donuts." Bucky gave him a cheerful smile. "You've much more of a glow going on already." And honestly, he meant it. Steve looked healthier than in all those weeks since they've met. Sure, he's still more angles than curves, but his cheeks didn't look hollow anymore and he got a bit more color to his pale skin.

Speaking of donuts. Steve picked up another sprinkle-covered one, mostly to help cover the blush. “Yeah?” He rubbed the growing swell of his stomach,”I feel weird taking up so much space. Soon I’m going to be knocking stuff over.” Bucky had been there to witness his maternity jeans purchase. He’d also started lactating, which was a surprise. That hadn’t earned him any brownie points when he’d leaked mid-shift at work.

"You really don't," Bucky assured him because even if Steve walked around with a 9th-month belly he'd still take up as much space as some regular guys with a beer belly, who didn't give a fuck if they bumped into you at the bus. Steve on the other hand seemed to be hyper-aware of his circumference despite still being pocket size.

Steve shot Bucky a grateful half-grin. He supposed to a man like Bucky someone like him did probably seem minute, even with a pregnant belly. He was still hovering at about hundred and five pounds with his jeans on, and his doctor was rather vehement that he should be at around a hundred and twenty instead. As if.

“Well I’d wish I’d glow a little less, I feel like a piece of meat at work. I swear, Alphas.” Steve rolled his eyes distastefully still blissfully unaware of Bucky’s designation.

"We can put a bumper sticker onto your sweater." Bucky joked good-naturedly. The smile quickly slipped off his face upon hearing Steve's following remark. "Are they harassing you?" If it were just greedy looks it was uncomfortable, but comments or even 'accidental' touches were a lot worse and...it's not like Bucky was able to do anything against Steve's coworkers. Steve would have to inform his boss, but the way he'd talked about that asshole indicated that he'd rather look the way or claim that Steve had provoked those Alphas. 

Bucky was an Alpha himself, yet he condemned those sorry excuses of Alphas being unable to act against their natural instincts. Of course, they could, they weren't animals. Even during his ruts he'd never been so out of his mind that he'd assaulted an Omega, just because his instincts screamed at him to mate with one. He's sitting beside Steve right now without leering at him or making any lewd comments regarding his body or smell.

Steve’s expression softened into an ‘Oh you sweet naive child’ expression at the question. It was a bit like asking if water was wet. Did he, an unmated, small, pregnant Omega get harassed at a workplace populated with ladder-climbing Alphas and frustrated Betas? Not to mention the Omegas looking to snag themselves a partner.

“Just the usual stuff and comments.” Steve shrugged, “Not like they’re groping or anything I could bust’em for. You know the types, ‘Bet my knot is better than his knot’, ‘Looking lonely, bitch’, ‘You need a good fix’, shit you hear since high school.” He rolled his eyes. He wondered if someone like Bucky would even get those kinds of comments, considering his physique. 

Considering the fact that Steve seemed to think he wasn't one of those asshole Alphas, Bucky probably shouldn't act so surprised. The fact that he wasn't honest about his second gender must make him one of them anyway. He was just worried that Steve would like him a lot less if he had some sort of coming out, so he kept his mouth shut.

Bucky frowned at the crude remarks Steve voiced, obviously imitating his coworkers. On the streets of a bar, those insults were rather common, he'd heard them a few times as well, but he'd assumed Steve's workplace was safer, even if it was still a shitty environment.

"That's awful." Just like the fact that they first had to physically molest him before Steve could get them into trouble. He wished Steve could quit this job that made him so unhappy, but Bucky knew that he needed the money and starting new when he's already pregnant was a challenge and then some.

Steve shrugged once more. Yeah, it was awful, but it was normal, which made it worse. There were some progressive companies that made sure their Omegas were taken care of, but those kinds of places usually took on people with college degrees. Steve had barely started his before he had to drop out, and that was at a community college of all things.

“Doesn’t help that I can’t wear scent blockers, so they know every damn time these hormones — “ He cut off, cheeks flushing. “...Well it sucks, is all.” He didn’t want to sit there and describe how aroused he’d been lately, considering he had no doubt everyone on their floor could smell it unless he showered multiple times a day.

"Guess a department change isn't possible or wouldn't change much, huh?"

“Nope, my references are few and far between, and no one wants to train someone that’s just going to have to go on leave in a few months.” Not that he thought he’d have his job that long anyway. Steve was surprised he still had it at this point, with how much his boss watched him. 

"Maybe afterward?", Bucky added for consideration, not realizing that Steve counted his days at the company already.

Steve had been talking more with the Omegas in Crisis center and he thought he had a rough plan worked out, enough where he could maybe coast. He was still in a world of stress and financial ruin, but he didn’t think he’d be on the streets immediately if worse came to worse. That was something. He could manage, one way or another. He always did. 

“I wanted to keep working while I was uptown, but, you know, traditionalists.” Steve rolled his eyes. Gilmore hadn’t wanted any Omega of his(as if) to work and make him ‘look bad’. It felt kind of nice at first, not having to worry about the stress and strain of a job, but he’d quickly realized it had just been another means of control. By then, he was already too isolated to turn back. 

Traditionalist. Bucky was aware what that meant. Gilmore had kept Steve as a glorified housewife and trophy, denying him to earn his own money and stay independent. Steve must've been blinded by his affection to walk into an obvious trap like this. He didn't seem to be that naive in general or maybe he'd learned his lesson the hard way.

“If only I’d gotten my Ma’s pretty looks, then I could’a traded up.” Steve teased since it was grossly obvious he would have done none of the sorts. Even if it would have been easier to just Alpha-hunt like some other Omegas and mate early.

"Don't say that, Steve," Bucky told him with a slightly pained expression because he hated listening to Steve trying to downplay his lack of options. "You don't need some rich jackass, you're gonna find someone who appreciates all of you...including those awfully sky blue eyes and that golden hair. Wow, it's so hard to look at your mug for more than a minute straight. I'm gonna get you a paper bag,” it was Bucky's turn to make a joke again.

Steve probably should have expected Bucky to chide him on the comment. He knew enough about Bucky to know he was a good man that probably didn’t like his friends talking shit about themselves. Not that Steve really thought his looks were bad, he just knew he wasn’t winning any Omega pageants either. He was waifish where others were thin, bony where others were angular, brittle where others were delicate. He wasn’t the sit-on-your-knee kind of Omega in perfume ads, or the curvy Omegas in music videos, that was for damn sure. Not that he wanted to be! His life had probably been easier because he wasn’t either one of those types.

Steve’s heart stuttered for a few seconds before Bucky continued to segue into a joke of his own. For a moment, Bucky had almost sounded pretty genuine about his looks, and Steve — he didn’t know what to do with that. 

Rolling his eyes, he struck out to punch Bucky’s shoulder.”Yeah yeah, get a good look because I’m going to bed. My back hurts and I should probably eat something more than donuts and chips before turning in.” He huffed, trying to suppress a grin and failing.

"Hey, you wanna spend another night in jail, pal?” Bucky cupped one hand over his 'aching' shoulder, grinning at Steve.

"Yeah, get your kale and beauty sleep. I'm gonna solve another puzzle." Bucky returned, collecting the plastic wrappers from his snacks to take back inside.

“I’ll text you about the times?” Steve questioned, trying not to sound hopeful that Bucky hadn’t reconsidered while they’d been talking.

"You got my number," Bucky confirmed that he's still planning on keeping Steve company. "Get some rest. Good night!", he wished him before climbing through the window. He decided to take a shower, just to be on the safe side, before slipping into more comfortable sleeping cloths. 

True to his words he finished another crossword puzzle while letting the first episode of some series he'd watched twice before run in the background. Dot eventually joined him shortly after, they had dinner together and she seemed to look forward to the salsa evening he'd planned for them at one of the Spanish restaurants. The atmosphere between them was more relaxed again, something Bucky felt grateful for.

* * *

Steve slumped down on the retaining wall of the ‘garden’ area outside the bi-level yoga studio nestled around other double-duty businesses. His feet were killing him, his ankles felt swollen, he was hungry, and he was pretty sure the pads in the front of his bra were thirty minutes away from critical mass. If Bucky wasn’t already on his way, Steve would call this whole thing off.

As it was, he had to meet up with Bucky in his work clothes, which consisted of a blue button-up and slacks he’d spent more on than any other article in his wardrobe, while smelling like milk. Male Omegas had to look presentable, so no comfortable sweaters, non-button shirts, or maternity pants for him. Oh no, not for a branch division of Shield Corporation. He wasn’t even sure what the parent company did, but then again he wasn’t paid enough to care. He was just a glorified secretary. 

Digging into his bag, he tugged out a bag of pretzels and chomped down on one. 

A whistle pulled him from the pretzel carnage a few seconds later, “Looking lonely baby, should come with us!” An Alpha and a Beta pair of males walked past, bearing their fangs at him as they snickered amongst themselves. 

Steve swallowed, peeling back his lip with a loud growl.”I will literally fucking eat you and your tiny knot if you say one more fucking word to me, stump-fangs!” He snarled back with all the viciousness of his aching body behind him. 

The Beta almost walked into a pole, but the Alpha paused and gaped as if he couldn’t believe the pint-sized Omega had the gall.”...Uppity bitch!”

Just like predicted Dum Dum had agreed to lend Bucky one of his shirts and despite not asking for it had given Bucky a firm full-body hug as goodbye. Bucky had grimaced when his friend pretty much made him face plant against his scent gland, but at least now he smelled like 100% organic Alpha. 

He flipped his coworkers off left and right upon leaving the garage since everyone apparently had to comment on him smelling like he'd gotten fresh with Dum Dum at the backseat of the truck they'd been working on. They're all gonna end up with soy milk coffee the next day and Bucky looked forward to hearing them bitch about it.

Bucky wasn't running late, yet he was going to arrive punctually. He just rounded the corner, comparing the street name with the one Steve had sent him when he almost walked into two other guys standing on the sidewalk. Spotting Steve on the other side it didn't take a genius to put two and two together. Despite being unable to catch the previous conversation it was clear that those waste of spaces hadn't complimented Steve on his slacks, considering the daggers he glared at them.

"Hey sugar!", Bucky greeted him with a bright smile, not so accidentally shouldering past the Alpha and crossing the street to wrap his arms around Steve in a protective hug, inwardly hoping he wasn't overstepping like twenty lines here.

Bucky nearly had Steve’s wrath directed towards him for calling him sugar. Only noticing it was Bucky and not some other random jerk kept him from biting when Bucky went in for a hug.

Then a wall of Alpha hit him, and Steve answered with an unconscious rumbled purr, burying his head against Bucky’s chest.

"Those pretzels make you salty. Wanna grab a proper bite afterward?" Bucky asked before loosening his embrace and giving Steve some room to breathe.

The two on-lookers sneered and righted themselves,” Better watch your bitch, man.” The Alpha scowled, unable to keep from the parting shot before the duo stalked off across the street. 

Bucky decided that ignoring the snide comment entirely would be better than getting on the other Alpha's level and telling him exactly where he could shove that well-meant advice. It also helped that the surrounding air was suddenly infused with soothing Omega pheromones, causing his shoulders to relax.

Meanwhile, Steve had his face buried against Bucky’s body, pumping out a cloud of confused pheromones. The Alpha-smell definitely wasn’t Bucky, Steve knew Bucky would smell better than this, however that didn’t mean this scent was bad either. It smelled like pine, mint, and woodsmoke. Very masculine, and just what Steve feared. 

The dampness grinding against his sore nipples made him recoil with a hiss.”Gimme some warning, Buck! That shit is going to make me leak through my shirt,” He tugged at his shirt collar, peering down his shirt to make sure the milk-pads were still holding up. 

“That co-worker of yours is...potent,” He grimaced lightly, resigning himself to having to change the pad-inserts when they got into the building.

"Hasn't popped a single pill in his life." Bucky agreed with a lopsided smile. A possible side effect of taking suppressants and blockers could be that once you stopped taking them your scent might return, but stay weak, somewhat watery. Bucky wasn't too worried about not being able to stink up a room within a few minutes, yet he didn't want his scent to fade completely. It was unique like a fingerprint and part of his identity as ridiculous as it might sound.

“I can tell,” Steve visibly swallowed, stepping into Bucky’s gravity a little closer than he usually would when he stood. The borrowed scent wasn’t perfect by any means, but it smelled friendly and thick and it had been a long time since he’d had raw-Alpha scent that wasn’t filled with the Alpha in question being a raging asshole at the time.

"Sorry, just tried to deliver a convincing performance." Bucky apologized with a wince. Perks of living with an actress. "You have a change of clothes, right?" Surely Steve didn't intend to exercise in those fancy, but uncomfortable looking work clothes.

“Yeah, I’ve learned to keep a back-up,” He scrunched his nose slightly, holding the fabric of his shirt away from his chest. His nipples were aching today with a vengeance and smelling the Alpha-scent on Bucky wasn’t helping him any.

"Wanna head inside?" Class was about to start and if Steve used the restroom first they had to hurry up a bit.

Steve felt the moment the pads in his shirt went past critical as they walked into the building and he cussed,” Shit, I knew it.” He knew the scent was going to do this. He was pumping out pheromones like a fogger next to Bucky, and entering the building didn’t help. Pregnant Omegas couldn’t take suppressing pills and most doctors advised against using the topical ones. The building smelled like Mated Omegas and Alphas, but there was another unmated Alpha in the building and a few muted Betas from what Steve could immediately scent.

He beelined it for the bathroom, grumbling as he looked down at the dark spots on his shirt when he was behind closed doors. Sighing, he stripped and put on the looser-fit long-sleeved shirt and a cloth pair of maternity pants he’d picked up from Goodwill.

"I'm gonna wait outside.", Bucky informed him, standing beside the restroom since Steve didn't need him in there. His mere presence seemed to send Steve's body into overdrive, though to be fair it was Dum Dum's smell that caused all of those reactions. Bucky tried not to think about milkshakes while waiting for Steve to return.

Much more comfortable, Steve emerged a few minutes later, still smelling of milk, but not as strongly. “I’m not gunna lie Buck, this isn’t going to be easy.” He smiled apologetically, not liking that he was acting so… _ Omega _ around Bucky right now, but he couldn’t help it. He was keeping it on a tight leash, yet he could only do so much.

"Yeah, I can tell. Sorry, it's gonna be easier when I won't be around." They just had to get the introduction over. Bucky had picked up at the various scents too, hoping that the other unmated Alpha wasn't going to be the trainer of all people, because it would mean Steve might have to team up with them in the future.

Steve shook his head a little,” It’s fine. My body is just being an asshole, Doc’ says it’s going to be bad from here on out, which is just fuckin’ fantastic.” He huffed, wondering how things could get worse. “Got a kid the size of a papaya in me, hormones playing ping-pong, and I’m apparently leaking milk or having to piss every five seconds. Why the hell do people talk about this like it’s magical? Because I feel gross,” His body wouldn’t stop trying to leak in places and he was fed up.

"Maybe the magical part is when you can bond with your baby?" Bucky tried to find a positive aspect of the torture Steve was currently enduring. Several more months had to pass tho before Steve could actually hold his baby, so until then he'd try to keep up with his loss of liquids.

"...should we hold hands?" Bucky stage-whispered while they made their way down the hallway. Physical proximity took its toll on Steve's body, but they were supposed to look like a couple and Bucky just assumed that couples who expected a baby acted extra clingy. 

Christ, Steve's scent was going to be the death of him. Bucky swallowed, suppressing the pleased rumble that threatened to climb up his throat.

Apparently in a mood for the day, Steve looked at Bucky with appraising eyes.”Yes,” He decided, snagging Bucky’s hand.”Shit, one second.” He pulled his sleeve away from his wrist and reached over to scent-mark an area of Bucky’s shirt. It would look weird if Bucky didn’t have some of Steve’s smell on him. 

Steve picked up Bucky’s arm and nuzzled his face against Bucky’s sleeve, pushing Dum-Dum’s scent against the fringe of his hair, then down around his chin like they’d been casually scenting each other throughout the day like expecting couples were prone to doing. 

Bucky had an out-of-body experience or reached the mindset of a possum playing death. Either way, he didn't move a single muscle while Steve scented him. Why not set him on fire while he was at it? Okay, Bucky knew he's being dramatic, but the last time he'd been scented was a while ago and he'd almost forgotten how damn good it felt. His skin was prickling just from Steve's fleeting touches coupled with the traces of his scent that were left behind. 

It made him feel kinda guilty that he didn't experience a similar sensation when Dot nuzzled his neck. The scent-blockers dimmed their perception of each other and as much as Bucky pretended that it didn't bother him he's obviously missing some of those more intense feelings of being scent compatible.

Steve’s eyes dilated slightly, and his scent deepened with a few more heady spices.”Yeah, that should do it,” He walked them down the hallway, instinctively knowing where to go from his nose alone. 

They entered into a broad room filled with mats, seated couples, and A beta-Alpha couple in the front. A woman was the Alpha, while her partner was a more ambiguous Beta that smelled faintly of lavender, complementing the Alpha’s tangy vanilla. 

He allowed Steve to drag him along, still a bit dazed while entering the room and finding their seats. At least they weren't in the front row. They're here to participate, not necessarily going for gold. The trainers briefly introduced himself, then asking the couples to do the same.

“Hey there! Grab a seat we’re just about to start,” The instructor smiled, motioning Steve and Bucky to the middle-front.

"Hey, I'm Bucky and this is my first class, so I guess I have a lot to learn, but no pressure, right?" He introduced himself with a charming grin, giving Steve's hand a light squeeze.

Oblivious to Bucky’s plight, Steve carefully settled himself on the front of the yoga mat, which he thought was pretty sadistic to make pregnant Omegas sit on the floor. Granted, there was only one other Omega in the room as far along as Steve was, while the others were significantly less round. People that wanted to get all their knowledge in early until the pre-birthing classes started up around month seven and eight.

Steve tried not to let some of the moony-eyed couples sour his mood as he watched them introduce themselves. While most couples were Alpha-Omega couples, there were a pleasant number of Beta-Omega couples as well. Not everyone was mated, which was nice, but they obviously were couples probably on the path to it. 

His stomach flipped uncomfortably when it was time to introduce himself. ”Steve, technically my second class but my other one was at a different place?” That was probably unneeded information but he never knew how to do these kinds of meet-and-greets.

His hand tightened around Bucky’s, using him as a lifeline to try and still the initial panic of having multiple sets of eyes swivel towards him. 

“How far along are you?” The Alpha-teacher asked with a pleasant but more subdued smile than her partner.

“Mid-twenty-second week. Supposedly the ‘papaya week’ whatever the hell that means,” Steve didn’t mean to cuss, but from the soft chuckles no one had found it insulting. Thank god. 

The other couples introduced themselves, and they weren’t immediately singled out, so that was probably a good sign right?

"Relax, you're doing great." Bucky murmured once Steve had finished his introduction. No one paid any extra attention to them or questioned the nature of their relationship. The other couples seemed pleasant too, so Steve didn't have to worry about anyone badmouthing him.

Between the praise and Bucky’s ‘scent’ Steve’s own mellowed out considerably. It was a little frustrating that there was only one note to the Alpha-scent, considering Bucky couldn’t very well change it with his emotions, but it was still nice to have the scent there anyway.

As it turned out they weren't there just to learn stuff about the baby or how to take care of it. The Beta instructor told them about the 'challenges' their pregnant partner was faced with during their pregnancy and how to help them, which included a foot massage.

Now Bucky had given those before while watching TV, but there hadn't been any technique involved, just pushing into the sole of the feet with his thumb. Doing that for his partner was no big deal, yet he could tell that Steve wasn't too excited about the prospect of having to take his shoes.

Kill him. Steve didn’t mind doing all the information bits, even if once again having his body’s changes described in detail to his friend was mortifying. He drew the line at foot massages. Even if his ankles were killing him, and he wanted nothing more than a foot rub and made a muffin. Or five. 

“You don’t gotta, we can totally say one of us is a germaphobe,” Steve argued quietly, eyelids momentarily drooping when the cute couple next to them emitted a noxiously sweet cloud of adorable when the Alpha took his partner’s feet in his lap. They were young and probably on the cusp of mating bites, and quite frankly Steve wanted to throw something at them.

God, maybe he really should have stayed home today. He felt like he was one more asshole away from climbing on top of a desk and proclaiming his plans for world domination. Or biting. One or the other.

"...but then we wouldn't hold hands either? Really, it's not a big deal. It's gonna look weird if we refuse to do it. Pull off your shoes, get your feet on my lap." Bucky instructed Steve, trying to distract him from staring down the couple next to them, who seemed to have the time of their life. 

Steve's pout doubled down, "Don't logic me," He huffed with only a small amount of venom. Bucky was right, he was being ridiculous, but he felt like he had every right to be. Some of these Omegas looked adorable, soft, and just radiant and he felt soggy and bloated. Even the other Omega that was as far along as Steve was pleasantly plump and had close cropped curls that haloed around his head. 

Steve also hated that guy. 

“Okay, you're the smart one in this relationship." Bucky relented with a placating smile. Steve was in a bad mood, but he'd been before and usually he Bucky could cheer him up one way or another.

It wasn't fair that Bucky was being so calm about this. How could he be? This was a weird situation, and Steve wasn't even sure how Bucky hadn't marched out already. Or how they were friends.

The trainers already started to walk around and giving advice on how to improve. Bucky didn't want to be the best and this wasn't a contest...but he wasn't going to lose to an Alpha with sideburns.

"Hey, look at me, try not to focus on the other people." He reminded Steve, who's still glowering like a grumpy tiny dragon. They should've eaten beforehand, stuff Steve with sugar, so he could ride the high through the class.

Steve turned his eyes back to Bucky as he took his shoes off and tucked his dress socks into his shoes. His feet felt as bony as his hands, and he'd been right, his ankles were a bit swollen. Even more reluctantly he stretched out his feet to set on Bucky's lap. He prayed no one they'd encounter today knew Dot or else Bucky might be dead by tomorrow.

Steve knew this was definitely in the territory of Don't being justifiedly pissed off. Bucky was just a nice, caring guy, and Steve felt like he was taking advantage of that. He could absolutely not end up being the cause of another fight between the two, not with the heart-eyes Bucky had so obviously given Dot at the barbeque those weeks ago.

Steve's feet were surprisingly cold or maybe Bucky's hands were really warm. Wrapping his hands around Steve's foot Bucky just tried to warm it up a bit first. His face was out of reach, so even if Steve turned out to be ticklish Bucky wouldn't get his teeth kicked out.

All of Steve's spiraling into the land of anxiety skipped when Bucky's warm hands wrapped around one of his feet. A moment later Bucky gently put some pressure on his arch and a quiet sigh breezed past his lips. 

Gently pressing his thumbs against the middle of Steve's foot Bucky waited for his reaction, unsure how much pressure he should apply, considering that he might already be in pain.

"No need to look so frightened." One of the trainers remarked, appearing out of nowhere and scaring the hell out of him. Yeah, thanks for nothing, Mr. Vanilla.

"What they said," Steve echoed, "My boss barely let me sit down today, I doubt dropping a truck on my feet would make a lot of difference now." Bucky could karate chop his foot and Steve doubted they'd feel any worse.

"Let's not do that." Bucky huffed with a crooked smile but digging his fingers in a bit harder till he could properly feel Steve's tendons.

An embarrassingly loud huff of pure relief purred from his throat as Bucky dug his fingers in. Granted, there were similar reactions around the room, some Omega’s actively trying to stifle their contented rumbles while others like Steve gave no fucks and let his throat do what it wanted. He just hadn’t wanted to be so vocal in the groaning part.

"The other office lackey was out sick, so I guess to him that meant I got to do everything in the same amount of time." Steve hated his job, truly, but it was the only thing keeping him with a roof about his head so he was doing the best he could.

"I hope karma kicks his ass. Did you even have the time to take your break?" Bucky wouldn't be surprised to hear that Steve's boss forced him to skip that one in order to get him another coffee.

“What is this ‘break’ you speak of?” Steve returned Bucky’s lopsided smile with one of his own,”I usually eat at my desk. Out of sight, of course,” He rolled his eyes,” Like those jackasses don’t think Omegas eat. God, their heads would explode if they realized we were anything more than baby-makers.” He understood the irony in him saying that in his position. 

Bucky grimaced at Steve's answer, his worst assumption coming true. This was no good working place for anyone, but especially not for a pregnant Omega. What if all of that stress affected the baby? He met massaging Steve's foot for a while, then switching to the other and repeating the process while they kept talking.

"I know you have a lot on your plate already, not needing a change of workplace too, but I've talked to my friend at the online pharmacy and she's telling me that they're branching out and are gonna need more support staff...'s nothing glamorous, but the pay is fair and you'd get health insurance after passing the probation period. Her boss is a Beta, so no Alpha who's gonna push you around. Would you be interested?" Bucky kept his voice low, not wanting to be overheard. 

Bucky had intended to tell Steve about the potential job offer during their next fire escape meeting, but then they had to cancel them, and now that Steve had brought up the topic of how much his work sucked it seemed like good timing.

Steve’s rant stuttered to a halt when Bucky brought up the pharmacy job that Steve had forgotten about. He hadn’t actually expected Bucky to follow through. A lot of people said they had connections to this and that throughout his life, but few had done what Bucky did. Tell the truth.

He blinked, at a loss for words momentarily, but his scent spoke volumes. The alternating waves of citrus surprise, daffodil joy, and a deeper multi-tonal note that spoke of Steve’s deep, and growing deeper appreciation for Bucky. “That’s — that’s real nice of you Buck.” He hadn’t meant to whisper either, but he was dangerously close to crying(again, dammit),”I...yeah, I definitely would be interested.” He barely resisted the urge to crawl forward and hug Bucky until the weird cartwheels his stomach was doing subsided.

The problem was Steve has had an amazing, sweet scent in general, but when he felt happy the effect it had on Bucky increased tenfold, kicking up his heart rate a notch. Moments like these made Bucky wonder why Alphas didn't try to be nicer to Omegas in general, because it would feel so much more rewarding. He wanted to keep that scent bottled up in a flask and open it on a bad day for comfort. Urgh, they're both being emotional, though Bucky still had a good grip on his tear ducts and wasn't going to cry anytime soon. 

"I'll give you the contact information later, alright?" God, he just wanted Steve to be in a better place, to stop having to worry and turn every cent over twice before spending it. 

Between the promise of a new job and Bucky’s magical hands, Steve’s prior snippy attitude cleared up quickly. The angry throbbing in his feet and ankles lessened considerably, and his ankles didn’t look so red anymore. It felt nice to have some circulation going, and he resolved himself to baking something for Bucky no matter how tired he was tomorrow. 

“K,” Steve replied quietly, still trying to get control of himself while they were in public. Not that he had much to worry about, one couple at the end of the room dissolved into bickering when the Beta mate rubbed too hard, and another couple was too busy staring into each other’s eyes to do much listening. 

Eventually, they went on to the next exercise, stretches for their partners back, because those were apparently an area of discomfort too.

Steve balked again, face flushing the same moment his scent pulsed the tepid waters of self-consciousness.”I...can’t do a lot of these, Buck.” He admitted, tugging at the end of his shirt,”I kind of — have real bad scoliosis? ’s why the baby is sitting kind of low down,” And why he’d been having more asthma attacks...and heart issues. But he wasn’t about to say that to Bucky. The baby was putting an awful lot of strain on his already scrunched insides.

“I can do some of them?” The one where he got to arch back and elongate his torso looked nice, but anything too twisty was right out of the question.

"No problem, no one's forcing you. Let's just do the stuff your back can handle and you tell me if it's getting too much.", he agreed readily.

The exercise was supposed to help, after all, not making everything worse. Bucky was just glad Steve had told him before he'd pushed or pulled him into any position that would hurt him. Simply assisting Steve while he went through the motions Bucky kept a close eye on his face, trying to spot any discomfort. The trainers didn't comment on them skipping half of the exercising, merely giving pointers before going on. Good, because Bucky was willing to fight anyone that was going to criticize Steve for not doing enough.

Steve huffed another soft groan as his back gave an audible pop when he was arched backward. The mound of his stomach was more pronounced like that, the slowly forming pooch of his belly button pressed against his shirt. True to his word, the position of the baby was a bit off from the other Omegas in the room where it was compensating for the pronounced curve in Steve’s back.

Once they'd passed those exercises as well there's some theory where they took a break and just had to listen. Should they've brought pencils and paper to take notes? Subtly looking around her noticed that none of the other couples were taking notes. Either they trusted them to have a spotless memory or they're gonna get some printed pamphlet afterward.

The longer the exercises and the class went on, the more Steve felt off. The exercises had felt good in the beginning, but by the time they settled for the ‘lecture’ portion, Steve felt a bit sick. His heart felt like it was hammering in his chest, and a vague dizziness built causing a pounding in his skull. 

He learned a little against Bucky as he listened, trying to ignore his body’s usual protesting against movement in general. 

He should have known better. 

Towards the end of class Steve abruptly rose and exited the room. His chest felt tight and the ball of his stomach felt heavier and more cumbersome than ever.

He fished into his bag, digging for his inhaler as he drew in increasingly staccato breaths.

Everything was fine until Bucky noticed that Steve started to look pale and rested more heavily against him. He didn't say anything though, so he assumed Steve was just feeling a bit sick and it was going to pass. 

No such luck. Bucky hastily said his goodbyes before following Steve, hoovering behind him unsure how he could help. Steve's breathing sounded off, maybe he needed some fresh air.

"Steve, can I get you anything?" Bucky finally asked since it seemed stupid to ask if he's alright when Steve appeared so distressed already. Just in case Steve was going to collapse Bucky stayed close, ready to catch him before he could fall and hurt himself.

One of the instructors appeared to check on them and Bucky wished he knew what's going on, what went wrong, but he had no idea.

Steve shook his head slightly as he took a second puff from his inhaler. This didn’t even feel like an asthma attack, but he was still having trouble getting a full breath of air anyway. The inhaled medication was barely helping, and the headache only increased until he was forced to close his eyes against the fluorescent lights. 

“You guys okay?” The Beta instructor, Kim, stepped out to check, drawing closer.

“‘s...I’ll be okay. Just feel — really weird.” Steve admitted, leaning back against the wall as he tried to keep himself from getting too worked up. A panic attack on top of this wouldn’t help. Just because he had no idea what the hell his body was doing didn’t mean it was time to get anxious about it. His body pulled new shit daily, this was manageable. 

Frowning, Kim looked between Bucky and Steve.”Like how? Sorry — but I used to be an EMT before it started stressing me out, can I?” They reached out, not wanting to startling Steve. They rested their fingertips against one of Steve’s pulse points, and their frown deepened.”You pulse is pretty thready, hun.”

“‘S normal, heart problems. My head just really hurts right now...and my chest feels tight.” Steve explained, panting softly between words.

Kim’s brows rose high, and their eyes snapped to Bucky.”He get headaches a lot?” They asked, assuming Bucky was Steve’s potential mate since they’d come together.

Bucky's brain focused on the words 'thready pulse' and 'heart problems' and he immediately started to worry more, conjuring worse case scenarios like Steve having a heart attack. 

"...sometimes?", Bucky answered reluctantly since he had no idea how often they occurred. Steve had told him about his general problems but didn't list up how often he was having a certain kind of issue. "But aren't those normal side effects of pregnancy?" 

Steve's whole body tended to ache, that's why they'd been doing the exercises before, which were supposed to lessen the pain. "Maybe he just needs to lay down and rest for a bit?" Despite not being Steve's actual mate Bucky felt awful, unable to provide any help. His friend's scent and the lack of his own prevented anyone from picking up on his distress. This should be an easy class and suddenly Steve's heart started acting up and he might have to see a doctor.

Kim blanched a little,” Hey Steve? How often have you been getting these headaches?”

Steve blinked to focus his eyesight,”...often?” He supplied unhelpfully,” I have a lot...of medical problems.” He explained reluctantly as if it wasn’t grossly apparent.

Shaking their head a little, Kim turned back to Bucky.”You should probably get him home and his feet up. I might just be a little over-cautious but it’s so hard to recognize when he’s already chronically ill. Just in case, have his doctor check him for signs of preeclampsia, okay? Hopefully, it’s nothing.” 

A small note of distress welled in Steve’s throat. He’d heard that word before in the long spiel his doctor had given him about complications that could arise, but he couldn’t remember the details.”I’ll probably be fine after a nap.” He assured, “Thank you.” He gave a weak wave to Kim, hoping beyond hope nothing else would be wrong with this nightmarish pregnancy.

"Okay," Bucky confirmed nervously, although she had no idea what kind of sickness they're talking about. The term pre...clam...something made him think of seafood, but Steve probably hadn't eaten any lately, so this was a different problem.

"I'm gonna get him home." He thanked Kim for her help as well, waiting for her to leave before addressing Steve again. 

"Can you walk or should I carry you?" he offered, fetching his phone with the other hand to call them an Uber. "We can pay your doctor a visit, just to be safe?"

The way grimaced when Bucky brought up a check-up at the office made it very clear what his opinion on that suggestion was.

“I can walk,” He replied stubbornly, even if his legs felt a bit like cooked noodles. He did loop his arm around Bucky’s for stability, sitting down on the retaining wall as he’d done before once they were outside. The cool air felt nice, almost as nice as sitting again.

"Alright, we're gonna get picked up in around five minutes..." Bucky let Steve know, relieved that there's a driver close by already.

God, kill him now. Steve didn’t know how Bucky still put up with this, considering Steve kept dragging him more and more into this. Bucky was just trying to be nice, and Steve felt like he was taking advantage of him left and right. 

“I have a doctor’s appointment next week anyway, I’ll mention it to him then.” He promised, not wanting to make two trips. That meant two co-pays, and he didn’t have the extra fifty dollars to spend. Not after buying those maternity clothes and starting to shore-up his baby-supplies.

“I’m really...really sorry, Buck.” He frowned, still sounding breathless even though he was sitting still.

For someone so small, who's struggling to breathe properly Steve showed the stubbornness of a fully grown bull. That didn't mean Bucky couldn't easily pick him up and carry him into the doctor's office, but he wasn't gonna force Steve unless it was an emergency and there's no other choice.

"Okay..." Bucky complied to Steve's decision, supporting him as much as he could. "Hey, no apologizing. It's not your fault your body is giving you a hard time."

“Understatement,” Steve managed a small smile, really wishing he could just curl up on the ground right then and there until things stopped feeling so disorienting.

The Uber driver pulled up in front of the center, looking for his passengers. Bucky waved at him with his free hand, signaling him that they'd be there in a minute while he helped Steve back up on his feet. "Let's get you home."

Steve pressed his forehead briefly to Bucky’s shoulder to gain his bearings, sniffing the bracing Alpha scent clinging to the sham of a shirt. Still, it was nice. Grounding. It might not be Bucky’s scent, whatever that was, but this person smelled nice enough for Steve to willingly give in to his biology for a little bit if it meant some reason.

He settled into the car with a sigh, relieved to be that much closer to his couch. Until the driver opened his mouth.

Giving the driver their address the guy glanced at them through the rearview mirror. "Is he going to throw up?" He asked, obviously worried about the interior of his car.

"No, he just needs to rest.", Bucky returned with a glare. And even if Steve was going to feel sick the car could be cleaned, he'd just hand the guy and extra twenty.

Steve growled softly, hand braced over his belly as if the touch might soothe the war in his body. ”God forbid the upholstery.” He groused, deliberately dialing up the distressed Omega tones in his scent. It was an asshole thing to do in a closed space, but he was exhausted, scared, and the last thing he needed was for someone to start something...Even if it was admittedly pretty justifiable considering his current position. Maybe he just needed to eat something and get his sugar up. Kim could be wrong. This could just be one of his normal hiccups.

The driver looked like he considered kicking them out, but then luckily started to drive instead. Every traffic light they had to pass seemed to turn red as soon as they approached and it took them double the amount of time until they finally reached their building.

Bucky paid the driver, stubbing on the tip, before helping Steve out of the car, leaving the guy in a cloud of miserable Omega. By the time they made it upstairs, Steve was breathing heavier again, pale as a sheet. He definitely wasn't in any shape that Bucky could drop him off with a good conscience. Not like he hadn't absorbed Steve's scent like a damn sponge already, entering his apartment wouldn't make it worse.

Okay, so maybe he should have gone to the doctor. Still, Steve was going anyway for his usual check-up. He could hold out. He just needed to get off his feet, maybe get some sugar into his system. But god, did he feel awful. More awful than usual.

Steve gratefully curled up on the couch after kicking his shoes off. He didn’t even protest that Bucky was in his apartment, or fussing over him. Dot was the furthest thing from his mind right now when it felt like the world was trying to turn on its axis without his permission. 

"Want me to fetch you something to drink?" Bucky offered once Steve unlocked the door. He's acting like a mother when fussing over his sickly fledgling and directing Steve towards the sofa.

“Yes please,” Steve replied quietly, blinking his eyes closed to reorient himself. The walk up the stairs had been more than he could take, not that he would say that out loud. As soon as Bucky left, Steve was going to strip, crawl into bed, and die for a little bit until things evened out. 

This would pass. It had to.

Bucky wandered into the kitchen, getting Steve a cup of tap water before searching through the cupboards for snacks. Satisfied after recovering a bag of mini marshmallows he made his way back to the living room, placing the bag of sweets on the coffee table, keeping the glass in his hand.

"Wanna try to take a sip?" He asked quietly, crouching down beside the couch. With his free hand he reached out to pull the bunched up blanket over Steve's legs and middle to keep him warm.

Bucky felt bad for his friend considering how many months of pregnancy he'd left. Hopefully, there'll be some kind of turning point soon.

Steve blinked his eyes open when Bucky returned.”Yeah, thanks.” He reached to cautiously take the cup, conscious of his faintly trembling hand. A few sips turned into half the glass, and he leaned back with a sigh, feeling the cool water flood his stomach. That made him feel a bit steadier alone. 

“Thanks — I wonder if I’m just dehydrated, or my sugars are low.” He accepted the bag of marshmallows, popping on in his mouth. The soft sugar felt like ambrosia on his tongue, and he relaxed a little into the couch. 

"I hope it's just that and not the clams thing..." Bucky commented, feeling like he could watch Steve's health bar fill up a little again after the water and some sweets.

Despite the situation, Bucky saying ‘clams thing’ made him laugh. He huffed a chuckle quietly, shaking his head slightly as he looked at the guy that had effectively saved his ass more times than Steve could count at this point. He just had to wonder, why the hell would Bucky even bother. Especially when it risked Dot getting so mad at him.

“I’m sorry, Buck. Now you smell like me,” Steve grimaced. That had been an understatement. Bucky reeked of him. All of his distress hormones. That clung to Bucky in a fog, made worse by the fact that the shirt wasn’t even Bucky’s. He’d have to run those clothes twice through the washing machine just to get the smell out.

"That should be the least of your worries, Steve. Had to take a shower anyway." Bucky remarked because Steve's smell wasn't the only one he's carrying around. Dum Dum's scent had faded slightly or maybe just getting overpowered by Steve. Maybe if he washed the shirt and his pants as hot as possible without shrinking it he could get the scents neutralized?

"Think I can leave you alone for now?" Bucky asked hesitantly, not because he wanted to, but because it would look real bad if he arrived after Dot smelling like he did right now. "I'm gonna keep my phone close by and if you need to go to see the doc after all you can text me, alright? I don't want you to die and haunt this building." He added with a more playful tone.

“I’m okay,” Steve assured, even if he didn’t feel it. He still felt scared and lost, but he wasn’t about to keep Bucky here any longer. Bucky had risked enough, done enough. Steve could get by from here. He was just going to rest a little longer before moving. He’d been sicker than this before and made do. Granted, he hadn’t been pregnant either. 

“I’d be a terrible ghost, what am I going to do? Haunt everyone with burned root vegetables?” He smirked, gently pressing at Bucky’s shoulder.”Go on, go douse yourself in a gallon of scent remover. You reek,” He grinned, though the apology was in his eyes. He felt awful that Bucky was definitely going to get found out. There was no way Bucky could even walk in the apartment without Steve’s stress scent getting everywhere. He just hoped Dot didn’t chew Bucky out since it wasn’t like there were any smells that suggested where they’d been, right? Steve at least kind of hoped his stress scent overpowered everything else.

"Sounds plenty scary to me." Bucky returned with a chuckle, making sure that Steve got all the basics before reluctantly straightening up. "And who's fault is that?", he teased right back with a roll of his eyes. "Fine, I'm out. Take care, Stevie."

Saying his goodbyes Bucky still felt a bit bad about just leaving his friend on the couch like this despite his assurance that he's gonna be alright. There should be someone around to look after him, but Bucky also knew he couldn't do it.

Once Bucky entered his own apartment he stripped out of his short first, stuffing it into the washer before letting his pants follow. The machine was running with only a few items inside while he stood under the shower, soaking and rinsing himself as if he's coming out of a contaminated area.

He wasn't able to completely erase Steve's scent from the flat, but Dot didn't comment on it, despite the look she's giving him, which spoke volumes. Bucky was just glad it didn't evolve into another fight, not realizing that something was going terribly wrong, that it was indeed a bad sign if Dot wasn't getting upset and loud over an issue anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double Update? Double Update! Thank y'all for all the ongoing amazing feedback ❤  
> I'm sure a lot of you have been looking forward to this particular chapter...

Steve felt a little better not hearing an argument that night, and it let him sleep with a bit less guilt on his shoulders.

Of course, as predicted, he wasn’t able to see Bucky a lot over the next couple weeks. Steve did go to the doctor as promised, and he continued texting Bucky. He did have pre-eclampsia and was being put on medication to help regulate his blood pressure, but this put his pregnancy at a higher risk. He’d most likely have to deliver early, and the doctor was pretty adamant about him probably needing a cesarean to do it. Steve didn’t blame him, he didn’t think his body could handle a ‘natural’ birth either. 

It was stressful, to say the least, to have yet another complication, but the days went on regardless. 

And worse, so did his hormone spikes. Steve knew he was getting eyed by a few of the single Alphas around the office, including one that wasn’t as awful as the rest. It had to be the stress or hormones getting to him that let him entertain Andrew’s flirting that day, letting him lean too far into his personal space bubble and scent him not-so-subtly as Steve was sending out faxes. Andrew smelled like newsprint and teak wood.

It felt good. So good to be stretched out on his bed and let Andrew nip, growl, and scent him all over that night. He wasn’t quiet, he should’ve been, but Steve couldn’t help it. Once he was pinned to the mattress he was lost to letting biology take over. He kind of hated the timbre of Andrew’s growls as he rutted into him, but the hot breath inches away from his neck glands was as pleasurable as the Alpha’s heat rooting into his core.

He keened and scratched at his headboard, letting the rare sensation of physical pleasure take over for the night. Steve almost felt okay about it when Andrew snuck out in the early morning. They both knew what this had been anyway. 

Which found Steve at the end of the next day in the middle of the closest park to the apartment, angrily typing into his phone.

[You know what? Fuck Alphas.] He growled, people gave him wide berth on the park bench as he shot off texts to Bucky.[Stupid. Sexist. Fucking. God, I can’t even right now. Do you think it’s illegal to send that asshole a basket of poppy seed muffins? Let the fucker look like a blowfish for a while.] Steve needed to calm down, he knew this, his blood pressure couldn’t get that high, but so sue him he felt like he had the right after the day he’d had. He still had fresh hickies literally on his skin, and now he couldn’t even enjoy them.

Being on the receiving end of having to listen to your neighbor having sex was...odd. Bucky had no idea how Dot managed to fall asleep, despite the grunting and moaning coming from the other side of the wall. If Bucky hadn't picked up on another voice that wasn't Steve he'd assumed he had a medical emergency. 

He'd laid in bed, eyes closed and trying to think of anything but Steve getting hammered into the mattress next door, because those images would only fuel his own libido. Dot would've kicked him in the nuts if he woke her up and turned this into a tournament. Instead, he kept pretending to rest while being consumed with lust, only able to fall asleep once they’d finished.

Bucky considered joking about Steve reaching the horny stage of his pregnancy and turning into a man eater, but considering the ongoing rant via text he doubted that Steve would appreciate this special brand of humor today.

[What happened?] Bucky wanted to know, hoping that Steve didn't catch anything while sleeping with that guy the other night. [Only if you kill him I guess...pls don't end up in jail again! He isn't worth it], he quickly added, knowing about Steve's track record. 

Now Bucky had no idea who the late night visitor had been, but Steve knew about his allergies, so maybe someone from work? The sexist comment would make sense as well if the guy had bragged about his conquest afterwards...unfortunately it was a very Alpha thing to do and Bucky couldn't claim he'd never done it before either. Yet he'd merely told his inner circle about it, not the whole company.

Steve bit viciously into the park-pretzel he’d bought, despite the fact he probably didn’t need to spend the money now more than ever. He’d followed up on Bucky’s lead for a new job, but he hadn’t gotten the clear on it yet, which now he hoped to hear back from.

[What happened is that asshole is a grade-A fucking hypocrite!] Steve licked a stray bit of mustard from his lip. [Do you know how many people have fucked around in the office? Most of them! The Alphas get a free fucking pass and I decide to screw the accountant and I get sacked for fraternizing?] Steve had to pause to stare up into the canopy or else he was going to pop a blood vessel.

He typed a full line of cuss words before adding [If I’d known I’d get fired for screwing an office Alpha I would have made sure to grab one better at using it.] Which was probably TMI, but Steve was angry and the angrier he grew the less filter he tended to have. Yeah, the sex had been pretty good, but it definitely had been worth being fired over.

Frankly Bucky had never heard or rather read anyone cuss as much as Steve. He's like a very angry small sailor, who's ship was currently sinking. Nevermind that it had sounded like Steve had enjoyed himself back then. 

[What the hell?? That's not just sexist it's fucking illegal!] Why was screwing with your coworkers during your free time a reason to be fired in the first place? This wasn't a case of taking advantage of a patient, they'd both worked in the same office. 

Steve should go to court with this and fight his dismissal, but Bucky and Steve's ex-asshole of a boss probably knew that he didn't have the money nor the nerves for a lawyer and a lawsuit he might not win for sure. And it's not like Steve loved his work or anything, yet he hadn't gotten a letter of acceptance from the company Bucky had recommended him, so it was horrible timing to lose his job.

Steve felt the phone buzz in his hand as he finished off his pretzel. He continued to stare angrily into the middle distance, ignoring the scrunched-noses of people that passed through his anger cloud. He smelled like Red-hots and peppers so strongly it made his own nose snuffle.

Bucky had a cooling system that still needed to be fixed and was multitasking between texting Steve and eating a sandwich. [Did you get any compensation?], he barely dared to ask. It'd be cold comfort, but better than nothing.

Steve read the text and smirked. Sometimes he wondered if Bucky just hadn’t the same kind of experiences Steve had. Bucky was a big guy, masculine, he probably didn’t face the kind of discrimination more ‘traditional’ Omegas did. If Bucky was even an Omega, Steve still didn’t even know. Maybe Bucky was actually a Beta. Definitely not an Alpha, Bucky was too nice and understanding to be an Alpha.

[Omegas barely got paid the legal minimum for Omegas at the office.] He replied, tucking his legs up on the bench. [Flat benefits. Nothing else. I was even penalized because I couldn’t wear scent blockers, so I was considered ‘a workplace distraction’.] The anger was draining out of him at this point, replaced with cold resignation. 

[What a load of bullshit. I'm glad you don't have to work there anymore but the circumstances suck] Alright, Bucky was cursing a lot himself at this point, since it was more than justified. It made him pissed to hear that Steve got penalized for something he couldn't control. He got lucky they didn't just shove him into a broom closet with his computer and let him work in there.

[Can I call you later?] Steve erased it three times before sending it on the fourth. [If you can’t, that’s cool.] He hastily added, not wanting Bucky to feel obligated to listen to him whine. He’d been very conscious while texting Bucky these past weeks not to be constant gloom and doom. There was never anything exciting going on in his life, but Steve liked to talk to Bucky regardless.

[I'll call you on my way home?] Bucky suggested, since he couldn't tell exactly when that's going to be. Finishing his late lunch with one last bite he wiped his hand on the pants of his overall to get rid of the crumbs.

[I know it's hard to stay positive but I have a good feeling about the new job.] Bucky sent another text before putting his phone away and returning to the car he's working on. They'd assured the owner she'd have her car back by tomorrow morning, so he had to get it done. 

Steve texted back a thanks and tucked his phone away. He should probably get up, get something to take home and make for dinner. He had a to-do list a mile long, but…

He didn’t do any of that. Instead, he sat on the bench, wrapping his coat tighter around his body, and watched the ducks waddled around the tiny pond. It was getting cooler the closer to nightfall, but he wasn’t ready to go back to his apartment yet. He felt like going home would be a little like admitting defeat, since he wouldn’t have much of a reason to get up at his usual time tomorrow. 

Three hours later Bucky scrubbed the grime off his hands and changed into his regular clothes, saying his goodbyes to the others and heading home. He fished out his phone while waiting for the traffic light to turn green and dialed Steve's number.

Hearing his phone ring startled him, and a few of the napkins he’d kept tucked against his leg from his earlier pretzel scattered off onto the sidewalk. Muttering a quick apology to the powers-that-be for littering, he took his phone out. He’d forgotten he’d asked Bucky to call. 

“Hey,” He answered, untucking his stiff legs from the park bench.

"Hey there." Bucky echoed, realizing that this was the first time they talked via phone instead of texting. He could also pick up on the fact that Steve wasn't at home due to the faint background noises.

Steve had the same realization around the time Bucky answered. It felt ….weird. It was one thing talking face to face, but talking on the phone felt strangely intimate. He was already guilty enough texting Bucky, even if they were only friends. An Omega could have friends. He didn’t understand why Dot was so against them hanging around each other, but then again, Steve was too afraid to ask.

"You better not be standing on top of a bridge right now. Where are you?" Crossing the road himself Bucky let the stream of people drag him along. It was a bit windy, and he hunched his shoulders in an attempt to contain his body heat. He should've put on a scarf this morning, but he didn't have a habit of checking the weather report, and he didn't like the ends of the fabric constantly flopping around.

“Jeez, Buck. Morbid much?” Steve rolled his eyes and leaned back against the bench. His stomach was starting to grumble, and he needed to get home to take his medication. Still, he wanted to talk, just a little, before he was forced back into reality again.

Bucky paused near the bus station, briefly checking the time and then calculated that he might have half an hour until he was back at his place. Enough time to talk, because meeting up with Steve and doing this face to face still wasn't an option.

"I'm just worried!" Bucky defended himself with a weak smile, glad to hear that Steve wasn't spiraling. Honestly if their roles were reversed Bucky might've been ever more upset and feeling crushed, but he actually had a family that would have his back no matter what disaster life threw his way. Steve had none of that support, which made it so much harder.

It was self-absorbed of him to feel a bit better hearing that Bucky was worried about him, but it did. It felt like at least he had one or two people that would care if something happened to him, which was more than he usually had. Jeez, maybe Bucky had more of a right to worry if Steve was sitting there playing that kind of pity-party.

“I’m still at the park, my ass is numb, and I think a pigeon is circling me, but I’m not near a bridge.” Steve rubbed his chilled hand against his pant leg in a vain attempt to get blood flow back into his pale fingertips. ”Takes a better man than Schmidt to make me take a flying leap.” Even if he was debating on the merits of one of those Omega-Alpha websites that were barely anything more than glorified arranged marriages via computer algorithm.

"Maybe you're looking like a big bread crumb from their perspective.", Bucky made a questionable attempt to comfort his friend. "Get your numb ass home before it's falling off. You're gonna catch a cold." And wouldn't that be the cherry on top?

“That’d be the cherry, wouldn’t it?” Steve smirked and slowly got to his feet. He’d stop at the corner store, get some kind of chocolate. He still had left over pasta in the fridge that’d be alright for dinner. He’d take inventory of what he had tomorrow and make plans. 

Bucky smiled fondly at Steve voicing his exact same thoughts. Quickly getting into the bus he took one of the few seats left, making sure to slightly lower his voice before he kept talking. Not like they're having a super secret conversation going on, but he liked having his private bubble.

"You're gonna be alright though? I mean...can you still pay your bills for the month?" Bucky knew it was a pretty sensitive topic, but Steve didn't have to answer him. All he wanted to hear was that Steve wasn't in danger of landing on the streets.

The question was a logical one, but it was one that made Steve feel the full brunt of the shame head-on. He was glad he wasn’t talking with Bucky face-to-face now, so the other couldn’t smell the cloud of dank basement and tepid water. ”Yeah...yeah I should.” If only because he was in touch with the Omegas in Crisis Network. ”I should um — I should be able to stay until I have the baby, at least.” What he’d do after, he had no idea, but he’d find some way to manage.

"That's good to hear..." It meant Steve still had several months left to figure out what to do and hopefully find an option that didn't force him to move so soon again. He was one of his favorite neighbors and Bucky didn't want to get to a new one.

"You'll find a new job, I'm sure. At least you can have some downtime, maybe start a new project?" Bucky suggested now that Steve had revived his sewing machine. Truth to be told Steve didn't sound like he's on the brink of panic or having an existential crisis. In fact Bucky seemed to worry a lot more by reassuring them both that everything was going to work out eventually.

As awful as the day was, Steve felt...better. It didn’t feel quite so world-ending. He had made a back up plan for this very scenario, he had a rough way to stick things out for the next couple months. He had enough time to try and get things together. Money would be tighter than ever, his health was failing, and the idea of having a kid was still panic-inducing, but life went on. It kind of had to.

Steve nodded tightly despite Bucky not being able to see it. ”Yeah, wouldn’t that be something? An Omega with an Etsy,” He joked with a smirk, since every well-to-do Omega out there that didn’t have to work seemed to be doing jewelry, pillows, or god forbid, soap.

"Revolutionary." Bucky agreed with a small chuckle, picturing Steve setting up his page and becoming the next bath bomb empire. All of them in sweets shape of course.

“I think...I think I’m going to bake brownies and sleep all day. Take a day to reset, that’s what you’re supposed to do right? Self-care?” He’d never tried it before, so he wasn’t really sure if binge-eating and being a lay-about was the right spirit of things.

"You're talking as if that's a completely new concept, but yes. That's what you should do. Take some extra care and time for yourself to recharge." Bucky approved of Steve's plans. Everything would look a little less awful by tomorrow or so he hoped.

"Have a good night Steve." Bucky wished him, the bus slowly weaving its way through the traffic.

— — — — — — — — — —--

"We need to talk."

Bucky had a sinking feeling in his gut as soon as the words were out of his girlfriend's mouth, because whenever someone started a conversation like this it tended to lead to some sort of argument. Was it about him dumping his clothes on the bedroom floor again? 

They're sitting on the table about to finish the dinner Bucky had cooked for them, and he'd assumed they'd end their evening migrating to the couch and watching Money Heist.

"About us and our future." She added when Bucky only looked at her with confused eyes. A few days ago they'd been to the Spanish restaurant, did some wine and dine before getting onto the small dance floor in front of a live band. It had been a wonderful night, they'd laughed and kissed a lot, more than they'd done together in a while. 

"I think we're moving into different directions...I think we're doing so for a while without realizing." Dot continued, while Bucky's stomach twisted, and he had to put down his cutlery, no longer feeling like finishing his meal. Was Dot about to break up with him?

"What do you mean? Do you feel like I'm not supporting your career enough?" Bucky asked, because that's something he could change or easily work on. Something that could be fixed.

"No Bucky, you've always had my back and it means a lot to me. It's just...you want a family-"

"But you said you wanted kids too!" He interrupted her, trying to stay calm despite his whole body language spelling out how upset he was.

"Yes, but I don't want them anytime soon." She stated with a light frown.

"Okay. I can...we can wait a few more years, I'm not expecting you to get pregnant next month or anything." He returned, attempting to relax again. If this was merely about them having their own family a bit later than he'd planned then he'd accept Dot's choice.

"But you would like that. You think I don't know that you're still looking after Steve?"

It felt like a bucket of ice water was poured over his head. The realization that somehow Dot found out about him meeting and talking to Steve behind her back. Even if she did that didn't mean he'd suddenly decided he wanted to have a family with Steve instead. They're just friends, Dot and him, they're a couple, they're in love for years. Their relationship was nothing he was willing to throw away for a pregnant Omega.

"I swear I was only helping him, Dot. There's nothing going on, I'm not- I'd never cheat on you!" He promised, fingers curling into fists.

"I'm not accusing you of cheating. I'm trying to tell you that I'm soon gonna have a new play coming up and I hope there will be more jobs for me afterwards. I'll have to travel around and stay late. I won't be able to be around a lot and I know how you feel about that. It's not fair to keep you constantly waiting for me." Dot had apparently come to a conclusion or already made her decision, but wasn't this something they should discuss and try to find a solution? 

"You think we don't work out anymore. You think we should break up? Or is this about...did your feelings for me change?" He asked, hating himself for how shaky his voice came out.

"I still love you, James, but sometimes love isn't enough." Bucky could see the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

Bucky hoped that Dot was going to change her mind, that he could convince her to make this work after all. He finished work early the next day, unable to focus and bought some flowers on his way home. Yes, he knew that plants weren't the glue that could fix the cracks in his relationship, but it was...something. 

Finding Dot in their bedroom packing her bags was devastating. They'd just had the big talk the other day, why would she think about moving out already? "Where are you going?", Bucky barely dared to ask, dropping the small bouquet carelessly on the cover of their bed.  
"A friend of mine has an extra room where I'll be able to stay for a while...it's gonna be easier this way." She told him with an apologetic look, pulling the zipper of the bag close.

"So you've been planning this for a while? Why didn't you say something earlier instead of watching it going down the drain?" Bucky didn't mean to get angry, but he felt the heat boiling in his chest and had no idea how to cool down.

"It wouldn't have changed anything." Dot uttered, shouldering the bag and starting towards the front door.

"That's it? You're just gonna give up and leave? Fuck, I was going to propose to you on our anniversary and you're just telling me it's over! Look at me when I'm talking to you, stop walking away!" Bucky grabbed the strap of her duffle bag, when she opened the door, holding her back.

"Bucky..." His name sounded like a warning and the look she's giving him didn't hold any affection for once. 

"Please don't go." Bucky’s whole demeanor changed in an instant, switching from frustrated to desperate so fast he's giving himself an emotional whiplash. "You don't have to leave."

"Let go." Dot replied quietly. Bucky's knuckles had turned white at how harshly he clutched the strap of fabric, not even noticing that they had an audience.  
-  
Steve groaned as he straightened up from his latest project. He’d salvaged a small dresser from a yard sale for five dollars. Blessedly Dan had been on his way home and passed by him dragging the thing home and had easily lifted it for him. It was in rough shape, and he’d been sanding it down all morning in between getting calls and emails out for his new job.

He liked it as much as you could like being tethered to a phone or a laptop all day, but he wasn’t going to look at anything that let him work from home as a bad thing right now. Especially with his health being so shaky. It let him have hope. Working like this he could see how he could actually raise his child. He wouldn’t have to worry about childcare if he could manage this.

By evening he’d emptied his inbox, got the dresser sanded, and had dinner bubbling on the stove. Not that it prevented him from munching on a handful of pretzels.

Now would be a good time to pop over, hopefully, Dot was still out. He’d been so busy lately he’d only been able to text Bucky here and there, but he hadn’t forgotten what Bucky had done for him. Hopefully, Bucky liked chocolate chip cookies. 

He picked up the paper bag of fresh cookies, still a bit warm, and headed out into the hallway. Just outside his door, he hesitated, hearing footsteps just behind Bucky’s door and the sound of voices.

”I was going to propose to you..”

Steve hadn’t meant to overhear, he hadn’t. God, he could hear their conversation even before Dot swung the door open. He didn’t need to smell their scents to know that Bucky was devastated. 

Bucky talked about Dot like she was a warrior. A one-woman power house that while their relationship was complicated, he loved her to the moon and back. Bucky...he was a soft man. He wanted time with his girl, and he wanted a life full of love and warmth. Dinners together, and movies on the couch.

Steve only knew Dot briefly, but even he knew that’s not the kind of life Dot had in mind. She’d never be satisfied with that. 

He shrank himself against his door frame, tempted to reach back and try and duck inside, but he didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to call to attention that he’d heard or seen anything. Bucky had seen him at his worst over and over again, but this felt too private. This wasn’t for his eyes to see.

Steve watched Dot go, ever a vision, but it was like standing in the rubble of a beautiful storm. He was afraid to look over at Bucky, fearing the devastation he’d find. Even if he wanted to crawl back inside his apartment to purge the horror he’d just witnessed, there was no way in hell he was going to leave without checking on Bucky first.

Bucky’s grip slowly loosened while his mind was still scrambling for the right words, the ones Dot needed to turn around, but he couldn't come up with anything new he hadn't said already. He watched to follow her down the hallway before she could disappear around the corner, but he felt paralyzed. It felt like a balloon expanding behind his ribs, pushing against them, and he almost wished for it to burst, because he'd rather endure the pain than this limbo, not knowing if it could get any worse or what's going to happen next.

The situation was overwhelming in a way he'd never experienced before and Bucky wondered if this was his heart shattering. Shouldn't it be loud enough for anyone to hear? The only sound he registered was the uncomfortable wild beating of his pulse and his unsteady breathing. This wasn't his first relationship, not his first breakup, but certainly the worst by far. 

Bucky didn't know what he's supposed or wanted to do right now, although curling up on the couch sounded like a great idea. Maybe smoke a pack of cigarettes on the fire escape afterwards. He craved some comfort, but at the same time didn't want to talk to anyone about this, because talking about it meant that it was real and unavoidable.

Steve eased away from the door frame, swallowing the lump in his throat. Finding his voice to speak up while Bucky was still staring after Dot departure was almost as hard as taking a step towards him.

“...Buck?” He ventured, but decided maybe being timid about this wasn’t the way to go.

“Buck, if you want me to go I will, okay? But if you don’t, you want to go inside and I’ll make tea?” He remembered when Gilmore had kicked him out all he’d wanted was a shoulder to cry on and something warm Well, after he’d screamed and thrown a brick into a wall in an alley. He didn’t know if Bucky grieved anywhere like he did, but at least he had an armful of cookies and an arsenal of warm blankets at his disposal.

“If you don’t want to go back into your apartment right now, you can always come to mine?”

Steve. God, he must have heard their whole exchange...

A part of him wanted to be mad at his friend because he was one of the reasons Dot had left. Would she still be around if Bucky had kept his distance from his new neighbor? Yet it was hard to fault Steve for his misery when he'd been the reluctant one and Bucky constantly assuring him that it was alright, that they could be friends despite Dot's obvious aversion. Inviting Steve into his apartment when Dot had just stormed out still sounded like a bad idea. Some part of him believed that there's hope, but the little spark would go out immediately if Dot smelled any lingering traces of Steve in their flat.

Bucky was about to tell Steve to go back. That he could deal with this by himself, but he clearly couldn't. He couldn't prevent his breath from hitching, blinking back tears. It was ridiculous, because Steve had cried in front of him several times before and this wouldn't even out the score. He'd told him over and over again that it was alright to cry, yet he didn't want to let loose himself.

Steve was sure Bucky would refuse and retreat into his apartment. He still had the unfocused expression of pure shell-shock and Steve couldn’t blame him. He didn’t think anyone in the apartment would expect Dot walking out on Bucky. Everyone had been so damn sure they’d get married. What had happened?

Bucky simply nodded at the second offer, since his words failed him, stuck behind the lump that had formed in his throat. In his head the images of Dot leaving, and her parting words repeated themselves like a malfunctioning movie, and he just wanted to rewind to the good part when everything was fine and they're happy together.

Steve reached out to gently take Bucky by the shoulder and guide him into the apartment, since Bucky didn’t seem like he’d get started on his own. Steve took a moment to close the door to Bucky’s apartment before following after.

Steve’s apartment was starting to look like a home. Since the last time Bucky was in the apartment he’d accumulated a few more pieces of furniture, second hand as they were. His couch was lined with squashy quilts and blankets, as well as the two chairs. The dresser he was working on was set up behind the couch along with the cans of paint he was going to use on it.

His coffee table had different books from the Public health office, as well as a notebook open to a few sketches of the neighborhood. There was also a pamphlet from the Omegas in Crisis network, along with Steve’s laptop from work.

It smelled of nesting Omega more than ever.

“Sorry about the paint smell, I’m finishing the changing table.” He smiled faintly as he walked into the kitchen. He had the mugs on the counter, since it was a little hard to reach to the middle cabinets with his round stomach.

Simply moving along with Steve's guidance Bucky found himself taking a seat on Steve's couch. He absent-mindedly noted the growing amount of furniture and if he weren't so distressed he'd have shown some more interest for Steve's latest project. His gaze flitted around aimlessly with the only comfort being the sweet, welcoming scent surrounding him. 

"Don't mind..." The paint was the least of his problems, but it was something, a topic he could try to focus on. "You've been busy." Bucky remarked, eyeing the notebook on display. He recognized the buildings, the small park nearby, and he remembered passing through all those places while holding Dot's hand and feeling like a million bucks. The memory seemed so far away.

Steve fixed their mugs with tea bags and poured some honey into it. "Less than five months left, one of those will be pretty much useless, I’d better be getting stuff done.” He smirked lightly, laying a hand on his exceptionally round stomach. He didn’t know how he could get much bigger than this, but according to the doctor, it would double. Joy.

Tugging the quilt over his lap Bucky buried his fingers into the soft fabric. His body was running hot like usual, but he's somehow feeling cold anyway. "How's work?" He could keep pretending that nothing had changed, that they had another regular get together...

Steve watched Bucky from the corner of his eye while hiding a frown. In all the months knowing Bucky, Steve had never seen him like this. Thank goodness. It was jarring seeing him so...lost. Steve got the impression Bucky had things all planned out. How their lives were supposed to go. How he’d propose to Dot. How they’d probably move someplace nice once she got popular as an actress. Now it had abruptly all gone up in smoke and Steve wished he had better words of comfort than cookies to offer Bucky.

“It’s good — great actually. I should be able to take a couple weeks off once the baby is born without getting fired, so that’s pretty much a miracle as far as I'm concerned.” He poured their cups and carried them over with the bag of cookies.

"That's great news.” Bucky agreed, lacking his usual enthusiasm while watching Steve approach from the corner of his eyes.

“I made you these? To say thank you. Without you getting me that job Buck..” He sighed a bit as he sat down, tucking his legs up under him as he watched the steeping tea on the coffee table.

"You would've found another job...don't give me too much credit. Thanks for the cookies though." Bucky didn't want to come off as ungrateful, picking up one of the cookies to bite into. They tasted fresh, still a bit warm on the inside, the chocolate practically melting on his tongue.

Steve really wished Bucky wouldn’t minimize how much of a favor he’d done for Steve. Steve had worried off and on for two days what he could say to impart the magnitude of it without coming off weird or overly emotional. He wouldn’t say it now, but he was determined to make Bucky know how much of a good guy he was, especially after this.

“Well, there’s a lot I want to say, but that can wait.” Steve turned his eyes towards Bucky, “You don’t have to talk about it, but — you know I’m here if you need to or want to, okay?” He needed Bucky to know that. Without Bucky, he knew he would have been up the proverbial shit creek, and there was no way he could possibly repay everything Bucky had done for him. More than that though, Bucky had become a dear friend, even if he wasn’t sure Bucky felt the same.

"I- I don't know what to say. I don't get it and I'm feeling stupid for not realizing something was up..." Bucky admitted in between bites and getting another cookie. Maybe if he inhaled the whole bag he was gonna feel less hollow inside.

"She said she still loves me, but she has to leave and- that doesn't make sense, does it?" Bucky kept staring ahead, unable to meet Steve's eyes.

“I’m...pretty much the last person on earth to give any kind of insight into anyone’s love life, but — “ Steve cradled his tea mug between his perpetually cold hands.”I think you can love someone and not feel you’re right for them.”

He made a conscious effort to calm his own jittery emotions at seeing Bucky like this. Instead, he focussed on exuding calming, warm Omega scents which was admittedly easier to do than he’d thought. Surrounded by his beginning nesting materials, warm tea, and trying to comfort a friend made it surprisingly easy to tap into his maternal instincts. 

"But she never said anything before. You don't just wake up one day and realize you can't be with someone anymore." There had to be a reason and Dot had told him, but somehow Bucky couldn't believe that it was just their different jobs and working hours.

“I don’t think you’re stupid, Buck, and I think you know you’re not either.” Steve would never say it out loud, but Dot had always struck him as a little bristly for someone like Bucky. He wasn’t even sure what he’d ever done to earn Dot’s ire other than have a strong scent. Obviously Bucky knew sides to her others didn’t see, but Steve couldn’t help but think Bucky deserved someone as wild about him as Bucky had been about her.

"Yeah, maybe I hoped she's gonna change her mind or...compromise. I don't know." Bucky thought he'd found the girl he wanted to marry and it turned out she'd rather put her career first than having a family with him. It stung, clawed at his insides. Steve's scent was like balm on his raw emotions. Bucky wouldn't say it out loud, but it reminded him of coming home and the comforting words of his ma whenever he had a small or big crisis.

God, his family. At some point he'd have to tell them that Dot wasn't coming for Thanksgiving, Christmas or any festivity they celebrated together. All his sisters would be there with their partners and kids...

Reaching for the tea Bucky took a small sip, willing his mind to stop spiraling. He's only making it worse. The only upside of this mess was the fact he wasn't stinking up Steve's apartment with his miserable scent thanks to the blockers in his system.

Steve really wished he had more experience than barely-there romances and then Gilmore of all people to draw on. This felt so outside of his scope he didn’t know what to say, or what to do to possibly make Bucky feel any better. 

Instead of trying and failing at words, Steve set down his tea mug and scooted a little closer to Bucky. Wordlessly, he reached out and hugged his arms around Bucky. He knew he wasn’t that comfortable right now, all sharp angles or his unforgiving baby-bump, but sometimes hugs said a lot more than words ever could.

Bucky had been there for him through some of the worst times in his life, and considering he had pretty awful luck, that was saying something. Steve knew there wasn’t a tally, or that friendship only counted when you were in a crisis, but he hoped he could repay even an ounce of the kindness Bucky had given him. Even if what he had to offer was only baked goods and hugs, he’d be there for Bucky whenever he needed anything.

Initially Bucky's body went tense when Steve's arms wrapped around him, slowly relaxing into the embrace. He didn't dare to lean against him, but he allowed himself to slouch into the cushion of the couch and closed his eyes for a while, shutting out the world around him.

By the time the rest of his tea had turned cold Bucky felt...not necessarily better, but no longer like he's about to tear at the seams. He placed down the cup on the table, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you. I'm gonna go back." Bucky told Steve, since he couldn't avoid his apartment forever. "Guess I'll see you around more often again." Bucky remarked with a forced smile, standing up and slipping out of Steve's arms. He couldn't take the warmth with him, only a hint of the soothing, sweet smell that clung to his clothes.

Saying his goodbyes Bucky left the flat with a bag of cookies, placing them on his kitchen counter. It was a bad idea, and yet he couldn't stop his hand from reaching for the phone and dialing Dot's number. She didn't answer his calls, and he left countless messages on her voicemail until it was full before finally giving up. He had another breakdown under the shower and ended up sleeping on the couch, unwilling to lay in bed all by himself with Dot's lack of presence like phantom pains.

His friends at the garage quickly figured out what happened, and they did their best to cheer him up but their jokes didn't get a reaction and the invites for dinner or an evening at the bar were declined. Bucky knew he wasn't a joy to be around and retreated whenever he could.

Dot had texted him. She wanted to pick up a few more things and Bucky was still hurting, but he hadn't reached the stage of anger or resentment that would lead him to throw her stuff on the streets and set fire to it, so he simply agreed.

Steve worried. Which wasn’t all that uncommon, except that it wasn’t just about the baby and his future. He worried about Bucky. He kept his texts to their usual, but Bucky’s replies either felt forced or far briefer than they usually were.

Despite Bucky saying they’d probably see each other more, than hadn’t, which didn’t soothe the ball of worry any. Bucky was obviously not handling the break up well, not that he blamed Buck anyway. By now everyone in the building had found out, and Julio quietly clucked that Bucky definitely felt like the more emotional out of the two of them. Dot was probably fairing better, which only made Steve feel worse.

Which was why he had carefully crafted a big batch of one of his mother’s recipes for a thick and hearty stew, and carefully loaded up the pot into a canvas bag that better distributed the weight, so he could carry it. 

Bundled up for the arduous trek next door, Steve headed over. He knocked on the door, quietly content with the heavenly aroma wafting up from the bag at his side. His ma had known ways to stretch a budget into magic, and this stew was one of those moments, just like her potato and ham soup he’d taken to the bbq. Big pots of things that could last a week in the fridge if needed.

It didn’t occur to him to text first since he’d heard Bucky in the apartment about thirty minutes prior. He would have never expected Dot to be on her way, all things considered. He’d just taken to making ‘too much’ of things lately, since he had far more time to get better at cooking these days. Sometimes he just set things by the door and texted if Bucky didn’t feel like company. If Bucky didn’t want to eat it, at least he’d have lunch for work. This time though, he wanted to see Bucky and see how he was doing, instead of doing drive-bys.

The occasional meals from Steve were the only real food Bucky had consumed for a while. Cooking had been like a hobby he'd enjoyed a lot and helped him to decompress in the evening. Now he couldn't summon the motivation to do more than heat up whatever was on sale in the deep-frozen section. His palate could mourn the loss of flavor all it wanted, cooking only for himself seemed useless. Bucky made sure to thank Steve for the food he brought by, while simultaneously assuring him that he was fine, and he didn't have to walk the extra mile for him. Steve didn't stop feeding him and Bucky didn't have the heart to refuse any of it, placing the empty, cleaned containers back onto his friend's doorstep.

He'd put together a few cardboard boxes filled with Dot's clothes and stuff from the bathroom. They stood in the living room, taunting him, and he hoped that giving Dot her belongings would somehow lift a weight off him. A clean cut. This way he might not have to think of her whenever he took a look into the closet and saw her dresses hanging right next to his jackets.

Hearing the doorbell Bucky assumed that his...ex had arrived early. Apparently she couldn't wait to get her stuff and away from him. At least she didn't even bring up the topic of who was going to get the apartment, so he didn't have to look for a new flat.   
Bucky had tried to make an effort not to look like he'd hit rock bottom and was now living there, but the amount of unwashed dishes and the general state of the apartment wasn't really working in his favor. He'd brushed his teeth and put on clothes. It was a start.

Upon opening the door Bucky was surprised to find his neighbor instead of Dot standing outside and the smell from his bag made it clear that he's about to serve him another meal. His stomach rumbled in appreciation.

"Hey Steve. Accidentally cooked too much again and need some help?" He asked with a fleeting smile. "I would invite you to come in and have dinner with me but it's a bit of a mess and you might get an asthma attack."

There were only a few times in the past year that Steve felt a bit like his old self. The person that had gotten in trouble for being too loud, too brash. Too stubborn. The kind of person that showed no fear of tomorrow and had flown by the seat of his pants.   
Bucky had officially entered into a realm of friendship where Steve was pretty sure showing some of his true colors wouldn’t run Bucky off. It did have a byproduct of making him extremely stubborn when it came down to caring for the choice few he’d come to value so much. He was pregnant, spent too much time at home, and had time to kill, and Bucky was the closest person and his only close-ish friend to get the fallout of that.

“Yeah, not going to work this time Buck.” Steve chastised, fixing Bucky with his best ‘I’m pregnant and therefore you do as I say look’ which was getting even more potent the rounder he grew.

“No accident about it, I made this for you.” He nudged Bucky with the bag to pass it off with a visible sag of relief. It was a lot of stew and his carrying capacity wasn’t all that high without a bag of potatoes slapped to his front. 

Steve motioned Bucky aside and walked in. Yikes, okay, definitely had his work cut out for him.

"I'm not the one who needs to put on any more weight..." Bucky protested weakly, not used to this new side of no-nonsense Steve, steamrolling past him. All he could do was roll with it and accept the pot, carrying it into the kitchen where he freed it from the bag. The pot was still warm, which meant they didn't even have to heat it up again or his recently preferred option microwave the food.

“I’ll have you know I’ve put on another two whole pounds.” Steve replied readily, though if that was just water weight was anyone’s guess. He didn’t feel so brittle anymore, and he had color in his cheeks these days. He was far, far away from plump or any word like it, but he didn’t look transparent anymore either.

"Pure muscle mass." Bucky remarked with a brief glance at Steve's growing belly. Two pounds sounded like dinner to him, but he knew it was a big deal for Steve, and he was glad he could keep gaining weight instead of losing it again.

”I’ve had my allotted amount of coffee today and don’t have work today either, so you’re just going to have to endure my presence.” Which, first things first, Steve needed to do the dishes because he didn’t put it past Bucky to eat directly out of the pot. Break-ups were not pretty, he should know, Bucky first met him in the middle of an embarrassing break down.

Bucky wondered if Steve was allowed to consume any caffeine at all while being pregnant. As long as he didn't drink or smoke the baby should be fine and pretty much every grown-up suffered from coffee addiction anyway.

He unobtrusively kicked a pizza box underneath the coffee table, so it was out of sight. His current squirrel brain would most likely forget about it and new life was going to flourish inside.

"Do you want water or tea?" Bucky asked Steve, since those were the only available drinks in this household at the moment. There's even a clean glass left, thanks to him drinking straight from the bottle.

The place was honestly about what Steve expected out of a heart broken bachelor, but it still made his heart ache to see Bucky like this. It did make it easier to overcome the social anxiety of just doing what needed to be done without asking, though. 

“Don’t worry about me, put the pot on the stove and clean off the table.” Steve fussed. He thought for a moment about rolling up his sweater’s sleeves to do the dishes, but he opted for taking it off instead. He pulled the blue, oversized garment off, momentarily making his long-sleeved shirt underneath it ride up on his round belly. The OiC network gave him a support band that cradled his stomach and made him feel like he was smuggling a watermelon through the TSA. It was doing wonders for his back though, which was the only reason he was up for diving elbows-deep into Bucky’s dirty dishes. 

At least he could semi-guilt Bucky into taking care of himself like this. It was a little underhanded, yet it got the job done. It was normal to worry about a friend, and he knew that if he was the one doing this Bucky would be fussing over him too. Bucky had fussed enough already, and now it was Steve’s turn.

"Okay, Sir." Bucky gave a little mock salute at Steve's orders, turning up the heat. Letting Steve see the chaos was kinda embarrassing, and he hadn't been able to kick his own ass into cleaning up. Now that Steve was doing it there's no way of just laying down again. He started collecting the food boxes from the table, stuffing everything into a new trash bag, since the old ones were almost overflowing already.

"You really don't have to, Steve." He attempted to keep him away from the pile of dirty dishes, because those were really gross. Due to Steve being in a mood though he simply ignored Bucky's protest. A resigned sigh left his lips.

“Before I forget, Dan and Julio are hosting a party tomorrow, and they want you to come.” It felt a bit strange for him to be telling Bucky about some kind of apartment function, yet it did show how far Steve had come since moving in.

"I'm not feeling like celebrating...maybe another time." Bucky declined the invitation, not feeling like socializing. He rarely missed a party of his neighbor's, but surely they'd understand. There's no way he could plaster on a smile all night, and he didn't want pitying looks or having to answer questions about his recent breakup. It was still an open wound, and he's rubbing enough salt into it himself. "You should go. Tell them I said hi and I'm gonna try to be around next time."

He kept right on washing dishes when Bucky tried to intervene. He’d spent a period of his time homeless with his mother in her car, washing Bucky’s filmy dishes was not the grossest thing he’d ever seen in his life by miles. It made him a little sad to see Bucky not bother with actual food (as if Steve could cast stones in that department, but he’d been trying), knowing that Bucky liked to cook. But more accurately, maybe it was that Bucky liked cooking for someone, not just himself, which Steve could empathize with. He’d been cooking a lot more than just the basics since he’d been foisting stuff off on Bucky. 

“I figured, I said I wasn’t going either this time, that’s why I splurged and got the fancy ice cream and rented a few movies.” Bucky hadn’t said he was busy, so Steve was going to run with it. Bucky didn’t need to be alone all the time outside of work, it would just make it worse. That much he knew in spades.

“You just bring popcorn,” He smiled over his shoulder, a few suds from the sink clinging to the fringe of his dark blond hair. It was getting long, but considering that Gilmore always liked his hair near a buzz cut, it felt freezing to have it be floppy.

Saying no to Dan and Julio was easy since he didn't have to face them, but hearing Steve tell him that he'd turned them down as well for his sake. Well, let's say he's feeling a bit emotional again, which seemed to have become a constant state. He had no idea how Steve was doing it, and he could blame it on his hormones.

"I'm gonna think about it." Bucky didn't fully budge this time, but he's getting there, because having Steve around actually made him feel a tiny bit better. Ice cream and a movie sounded good too, and he didn't have to do anything aside from staring at a screen. He's spending a lot of time on the couch as it was, what did it matter if he went over to Steve's for a change?

He'd just uncluttered the table when the doorbell rang, making him freeze up for a painfully long second. Fuck. If this wasn't another one of his neighbors checking up on him it was Dot, and she's gonna catch him with Steve in their flat. Bucky knew it was a ridiculous thought, considering that they were cleaning up, not recovering from a heavy make out.

Steve was about to address Bucky’s ‘thinking about it’ with a new round of underhanded ‘I’m pregnant’, but the knock on the door interrupted. He didn’t think much of it, since it wasn’t like he knew everyone Bucky did, and he continued scrubbing a particularly stubborn spot of — The hell was he washing? Microwave lasagna? Even he thought that was gross and he recently ate peanut butter on pizza.

Bucky's stomach churned when he walked up to the door to pull it open. He had nothing to hide. Dot wasn't alone. It made sense she brought a friend to help her carry the boxes and maybe drive her here as well.

"Hey...come in." Bucky greeted them, trying to keep his expression blank.

"Thanks. Hello Steve." Dot immediately fixated on Bucky's guest, not even bothering to introduce her friend. 

Hearing’s Dot’s voice made him drop his sponge. He looked over his shoulder, trying not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. He didn’t need to make a hasty excuse or feel guilty. He was helping a friend after a brutal breakup, and he shouldn’t have had to feel guilty anyway! They’d never done anything, and Steve wouldn’t have dreamed of it anyway. Dot was just possessive as far as Steve was concerned. But apparently not possessive enough to keep Bucky.

He didn’t know where Dot got off, acting like she had before then turning around and dumping Bucky, but then again he’d never understand that kind of person anyway. 

“Dolores,” He replied coolly, lips pressed into a faint line. He didn’t much appreciate the way her friend was looking at him either. 

"Can you take the two lighter ones? I'll be there in a minute." She told her company, who wasn't doing a very subtle job of mustering Steve. Eventually she picked up the boxes full of clothes to carry them outside, so it was just the three of them. Dot busied herself with taking her key of the chain ring and holding it out for Bucky to take.

"So that's it?" Bucky asked, his voice laced with anger despite his best effort to suppress the emotions boiling inside his chest.

"I'm not the villain, Bucky. I'm doing what I believe is best for both of us." How could she be so calm about everything? Her lack of hurt feelings just fueled Bucky's own.

"Oh screw it, you didn't do this to save my hopes and dreams!" He finally snapped, because he was sick of bottling everything up and then stewing in it.

Steve didn’t do a great job of trying to suppress his scent, broadcasting just what he thought of Dot right now, but he wasn’t really trying to either. He hated the way Dot was talking to Bucky, like she was doing him some great big favor. She broke the man’s heart! Couldn’t she be a little nicer about it?

His attention snapped back to the stew and he quickly dried off his hands to hurry to the stove and turn it down again before it could burn. The apartment was starting to fill with the warm, rich notes of rosemary and beef. 

"I want you to be happy-"

"How about you take those well-intended wishes and shove them into your box with the rest of the stuff you're taking with you." He suggested, fingers curled so tightly around the key that he felt the metal edges dig into his palm.

"Goodbye, James."

Returning to the dishes, Steve shot Dot another look, trying to figure out what she was getting at by calling Bucky ‘James’. Steve was under the impression that Bucky didn't go by James much.

Fantastic, they're back on first name basis. It was an act of passive-aggressiveness, considering that Dot knew Bucky didn't like people calling him like his parents used to whenever he was in big trouble. There's a reason he introduced himself with his nickname even to people he didn't know.

"Have a great life!" Bucky responded sarcastically, only following her to audibly shut the door behind her. What pissed him of the most was the part of him that still wasn't over her, but he had enough dignity not to chase after Dot and apologize for his words. He had every right to be mad at her and he might've raged some more, by throwing the key on the ground if it wasn't for Steve standing in his kitchen, pretending like he hadn't just been the audience to the biggest shit show of the year.

Steve wasn’t even aware he’d peeled back his upper lip with a low, peevish growl at the door until Bucky’s attention was on him. He clamped his mouth shut, blushing faintly at being caught in full alley-cat mode. He was just so pissed that Dot had done that to Bucky, and so coldly! Not to mention getting eyed like he was some kind of homewrecker hadn’t done great things for his already riled instincts. 

Fuck, he hadn’t been this primal since before he’d met Gilmore, and he’d been getting into fights. Gilmore’s holier-than-thou-art Alphadom had quelled that side of Steve, but apparently now it was deciding it was a great time to make a comeback. 

Bucky didn't know if this was just Steve's maternal instincts kicking in, but it was nice to know that he'd had someone in his corner. And that he wasn't the only one acting out a little, though he'd somehow managed not to growl at Dot like a rabid dog.

"Sorry you had to hear that." That's actually the only thing he felt sorry for. Dragging Steve into this when he had already enough on his own plate. "Wanna eat and watch Netflix?" 

Bucky put the key on the cleaned up table for now, rubbing over the red imprint it had left behind. The upside of being upset instead of depressed was the shift of energy. Maybe it would all backfire when he was back to being alone, but for now he didn't feel like a wet doormat anymore.

“Dry some of these, so we can have bowls to eat out of first,” Steve teased, tossing Bucky a hand towel from the counter he hoped was clean. He only had a couple more dishes before he was finished, and anger-scrubbing a few plates sounded like a pretty nice way to calm down. 

"Whyyy?" Bucky whine-complained, because eating out of the pot like an animal sounded pretty tempting. Catching the towel he dried all the dishes that Steve had washed already before setting two bowls and spoons on the table.

Well, at least the cinnamon-pepper scent of his anger-burst covered up the lingering scent of an unaired apartment. “They’re starting to get things really pretty, I think the first floor decorated their entire hall. I keep thinking I should do — something, I don’t know, but it seems kind of pointless when it’s just me.”

"I can hold the ladder and hand you the paint, but I'm not the artsy type and I've never done any decoration myself. The last artwork I did were those...finger turkeys." If drawing the outline of your hand even counted as doing art.

Steve barked a laugh that scrunched up his nose,”I didn’t mean paint, jeez, ain’t you ever decorated for the holidays before? I meant like, Christmas-y stuff. Pine cones and glitter. Ma never had a lot of money to spend, but she found a way to make do. Make it feel special.”

"Don't let yourself be pressured into something. It's your first year." Bucky reminded him, using his spoon to taste the stew, uttering a pleased hum. "I wanna bathe in it, is that an option?"

Steve’s hands drifted to his stomach a moment, rubbing against the prominent swell. Like Bucky had said before, this Christmas would be the last he’d spend alone for quite a long time. It didn’t feel as daunting these days, like maybe he could do this. Get by. He’d never be rich, but his mother had stuck it out. So could he. 

Bucky’s inquiry tugged him from his daydreaming, and another smile broke over his lips. ”Wouldn’t recommend it, tastes a lot better in the body than on it,” He smirked, hip-checking (more like hip-leg checking) Bucky to usher him out of the way, so he could ladle out their dinner into bowls. For once, he didn’t skimp on his own portion, getting himself as much as he scooped out for Bucky. 

"So you tested it already." Bucky concluded with a light grin, stepping aside to let Steve fill up their bowls. Good to see that Steve didn't eat like a sparrow anymore and apparently didn't get sick as often anymore as he used to.

“You going to your parents for Christmas?” Steve asked, since he recalled Bucky being on good terms with them and his sisters.

"Just sayin' the hallway could use some fresh paint. My ma and sisters do all the decorating in the Barnes household. I always find my way back home thanks to the winter wonderland. Waiting for the day my ma rents a bunch of reindeer for the front yard…” Bucky muttered with a shake of his head. Glittering pine cones were one thing, but the amount of holiday lights his ma used all over the house was something else. Thanks to her he owned an ugly Christmas sweater before it turned into a trend.

"Yeah, it's tradition and I'm really looking forward to it. Everyone comes together for three days and my ma cooks until no one fits into their pants anymore, and we get drunk on my dad's self-made eggnog." It's his favorite time of the year, but telling Steve about his family visit made him realize that his friend would be all on his own, since his ma wasn't around anymore. There's usually a small Christmas party for all the tenants of the building, but it was around a week before Christmas and just not the same.

Steve passed Bucky his bowl, smiling softly at Bucky’s description. ”When I was a kid, I thought people only did stuff like that in movies. I didn’t even know it was a thing till ma got a car and would take me around the good neighborhoods to see all the lights.” He remembered sticking his face to the window since his mother wouldn’t let him roll down the windows. Most of the time he was already sick or coming down with something. His breath would fog up the glass as he stared in awe at entire houses etched in white-gold lights.

Steve wished he had a car just to recreate those moments with his mother, but it would probably just end up in him being emotional. He wondered if Mrs Miller was going to be alone, or if she was going to make the trek to her sister’s. 

"There are actual contests, who's got the most colorful and expensive decoration, but I think that's not what Christmas is supposed to be about." Bucky remarked dryly. 

Steve's ma taking him on a tour through the neighborhood as a special trip was kinda sweet tho. It showed that she cared for Steve, wanted him to experience the festive atmosphere even when they couldn't afford to create one by themselves.

Bucky considered a moment. "We could decorate the hallway and your place if you want." At least give Steve a bit of the Christmas spirit.

Steve huffed a relieved sigh as they sat on the couch. His ankles and feet were starting to protest the extra standing he was doing, but it was for a good cause. He sat his bowl on the swell of his belly, the one good thing about having a metaphorical melon under his skin. 

“Nah, not worth the effort, but thanks, Buck.” He smiled, grateful for the offer, but it wasn’t the same. He supposed he’d probably cook something for himself, maybe splurge on one of those sparkling ciders and watch Christmas movies. 

Taking his food to the couch with him Bucky settled down next to Steve, suddenly feeling in the mood for a Christmas-y movie, tho they still had a few weeks left. "Whatever sparks joy for you."

“Gilmore used to go to some lodge or whatever with his family for the Holidays. I got a tradition all my own by this point a’la Hallmark.” Steve snorted. Before that he’d been alone as well after his mom died, so it wasn’t like this Holiday season would be any different. At this point he didn’t even get depressed about it. Mostly. Who knew with the pregnancy hormones.

Bucky searched for The Last Unicorn movie, unsure if Steve had seen it before, but it was actually one of his favorite animated movies. 

"He didn't take you with him? What an asswipe..." Bucky cursed quietly, just hating the guy the more he heard about him. 

“He said, and I quote ‘You’ll just get sick anyway, and then we’d both have a bad time, you don’t want me to have a bad time, right?’” Steve put on his best ‘Gilmore’ voice, eye rolling as he did so.”

"Ah yes, doesn't everyone love to get guilt tripped.", Bucky commented with a shake of his head. He was just glad Steve wasn't with that colossal scumbag anymore and that Bucky never had to personally meet him. No promises if he had been able to hold himself back from giving the guy a little shove down the stairs.

Calming himself down with a spoonful of Steve's stew Bucky uttered a little 'hah' when he found the film he'd been looking for. "Trigger warning, a wizard gets molested by a tree. Aside from that it's great.", he informed Steve with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Blessedly, he was too distracted by Bucky’s ‘spoilers’ to linger on it. He tittered incredulously, ”Okay? Now I gotta see this.” 

It didn’t look like the kind of movie two grown-ass men should be sitting on the couch watching together, but that’s more reason to be excited about it. He liked being able to just be. He didn’t have to worry about hiding any unsavory bits like everyone else seemed to want him to, not when Bucky had already seen him at his worst. Hell, Bucky had literally seen inside him thanks to the ultrasound, and there wasn't much more transparent he could get.

"Okay, be honest. How do you like it?", Bucky wanted to know once the credits started rolling. He'd kept sneaking glances at Steve's profile throughout the movie, curious about his reactions. The fact that he hadn't dozed off halfway through the movie was a good sign.

Steve watched diligently throughout, mostly because Bucky was acting like an eight-year old at a playdate hoping their friend liked their favorite thing. It pretty cute, admittedly.

“It was...interesting,” Steve wasn’t sure he understood what half the movie was about, and he felt a little bummed out that the Unicorn didn’t even find the love love, but it was still enjoyable to watch. ”Not sure I got the plot in some points but I liked it.”

Pulling a face at Steve's vague answer 'interesting' was what Bucky would call a dish that tasted like a sponge, not a unique cinematic masterpiece.

"Fair, I had to watch it a few times and looked up the explanation on Wikipedia." he admitted. "I just like that it's not...predictable and that she saves herself instead of letting the men do it for her, then fall in love with one and so on." Bucky assumed Steve might like this direction of the movie, since it was less cliché and he seemed to reject a lot of social traditions as well.

“Well I guess I don’t feel so obtuse now,” Steve snickered quietly, breezing past the comments about love and saving oneself. Past him would have been all over that message, loudly. But these days...It wasn’t like he was going to search for it, fuck that. Not after Gilmore. He couldn’t trust himself or his judgment. But — he supposed Gilmore had also made him crave what real love and intimacy is supposed to feel like. If there was such a thing. Steve wasn’t so sure anymore. 

"I don't think it's a kids movie and it's completely different from the classic Disney movies." Stacking their empty bowls Bucky vowed to himself that he's going to wash them after Steve had left instead of piling them up in the sink again.

Steve wiggled a little, intending on getting up, but Bucky’s couch was more comfortable than his own and had a deeper give.”...I’m stuck, help me here. I think I spend half my time as a turtle these days,” He grumbled, reaching for Bucky’s arm to help wedge himself up. ”I feel like they need to start enforcing Alphas to watch excruciatingly detailed explanations of Omega pregnancy, see if they wanna knock up anyone after that.” He had the bladder the size of a thimble and it was driving him insane.

"Sure." Bucky returned, helping Steve back on his feet, though he'd rather compare Steve to one of those dorky, round seals instead. That probably didn't sound like a compliment, so he kept it to himself, especially after hearing the next bit. 

Bucky was always low-key worried about Steve finding out his second gender and despising him for being one of those Alphas. Sooner or later he'd have to tell him, but there's already going on so much drama in his life right now, and he couldn't risk losing a friend as well.

"The finish line is in sight.", he reminded Steve kindly. "You wanna take the leftover stew back with you?"

Steve shook his head as he started off to the bathroom, ”Nah, I’m just going to hate the smell of it tomorrow. Just bring the pot back, it was ma’s.” He disappeared for a few minutes to start the fun process of making sure if his bladder was really done or not.

"You're getting it back, licked clean." Bucky promised.

Soon, Steve came hurrying back. He reached out to snag Bucky’s hand, “Feel!” He grinned, tugging up his shirt to place Bucky’s hand on his bare stomach.”I think she liked the movie, she’s squirmin’.” Which didn’t feel all that great on his full stomach, but it was nice to finally be around Bucky when she was moving around to show him.

Bucky had dried the dishes until Steve stormed out of the bathroom, which Bucky at first took as a bad sign, but then his slightly damp hand connected with Steve's belly, momentarily making his brain short-circuit.

At first all Bucky could feel was the warm, soft skin while the smell of Steve's excitement clogged up his nose. He didn't dare to apply any pressure. Then he could feel it. A very faint motion. 

Steve’s beaming doubled as Bucky reacted. Usually, he hated people to try and touch him or ask to feel his baby bump. He was amazed at how many people just up and decided to start talking to him and telling him what to do with his life and how, just because he was pregnant. He’d been unsolicitedly touched more than he could count at this point. Mostly well-meaning, but it ticked him off all the same.

This felt so much better than that.

"Oh my...hey princess. Glad you've developed such a great taste for movies already. We gotta rewatch it sometime once you're out of there." Bucky talked while looking down at Steve's baby bump. The wiggling continued for a bit until she must have grown tired, probably going back to sleep. Hesitantly pulling his hand back Bucky didn't know if it was appropriate to thank Steve for sharing this special moment with him. He felt ridiculously happy considering it wasn't even his own child.

Steve’s scent doubled down on the contented Omega smell. A quiet purr rumbled in Steve’s throat as Bucky talked to her, feeling the baby squirm and reposition.. 

"Wow, that's- makes her feel a lot more real, doesn't it?" Before Steve had only seen her as a white blob on a picture, but now he could actually sense her moving.

“Yeah, it does — Before it really scared me, you know? Looking down and knowing something I didn’t want being inside me...These days, I think I’m coming around.” Steve rubbed over the swell tenderly. He hated the circumstances, but he thought if his mother could do it, so could he.

"I'm glad she could change your mind." Bucky returned, remembering the incident at the doctor's office. The first glance at his baby had given Steve a panic attack, and he hadn't even wanted to take the pictures with him, but Bucky couldn't just throw them away either.

“I wanted to thank you last time, but I don’t think you were in the headspace for it.” Steve looked up, pinning Bucky with an intense expression.

"Steve..." Bucky uttered a small sigh, because had the tendency to thank him for everything, even the smallest gestures and to Bucky those were just coming naturally. Staying quiet he let Steve get the words of his chest, trying not to squirm under his piercing gaze.

”The job you helped get me...you don’t know how much that means to me. I was...thinking about adoption, before.” Steve chewed the inside of his cheek and heaved a sigh, ”With my old job, having no maternity leave, and knowing no one would hire me, I didn’t really think there was anyway for me to take care of her. I’m not — I’m not my mother by any means,” His body was just too weak, too fragile. ”This job I can work even if I’m sick, mostly. And I can do it a lot sooner after having her than most others.”

And shit, he was getting emotional, but this time around he’d expected it. “So thanks, Bucky. Without you, I don’t know where I’d be right now. Out of everyone I could have moved next to in New York, I — I lucked out.” He gave a watery smile, tempted to pull Bucky in for a hug, but he wasn’t sure he trusted himself not to cry more.

It was a shock to hear that Steve had considered giving his baby away. The reasons weren't something Bucky could discuss away.

"Don't cry. I'm getting second-hand hormones, and then we're both gonna cry." Bucky told Steve with a wobbly chuckle, pulling him into a light embrace, careful not to squish his belly.

Steve was immensely glad Bucky got the same hug vibe. He readily embraced Bucky back as tight as his thin arms would go, just so Bucky would know he’d really meant it. To Buck nothing might have been a big deal, Bucky was just a nice guy, but to Steve? Bucky had shown him true kindness in one of the darkest chapters of his life and Steve wasn’t going to readily forget it. 

“Serves you right. How many times have you seen my pregnant butt cry at this point?” Steve smirked with a tell-tale sniff. “‘S ridiculous.” He drew back reluctantly. 

"Yeah, but you're pregnant, what's my excuse?" Bucky asked with another bubble of laughter escaping his lips.

"And you're very welcome. I'm happy I could help...both of you and that you're gonna keep her."

“My mother raised me in a similar situation. I hope me and this one don’t hit the rough matches me and Ma did, but...hopefully, this little girl will make smarter decisions than me and Ma too.” Steve chuckled softly, not wanting to think about leaving his daughter early like his mother had done to him.

"I think you're on a good way." 

Steve knew with almost certainty he would go around the time his Ma had as well just because his body had never been in good shape, and he never had the money to do anything about it. The thought of leaving her behind the same way his mother used to look at him in her dying days — It was going to keep him up at night for a while yet.

“Speaking of, you need to stop over and see the changing table. I got it done and I’m pretty proud of it.” He was starting to believe that maybe all his artistic ability hadn’t been left behind in highschool after all.

Slowly lowering his arms Bucky smiled when hearing about the latest project Steve had finished. He hadn't been able to properly appreciate any progress last time. Next time he would be a better guest. "Gonna bring some popcorn and have a look.", he assured him, giving Steve's shoulder a light squeeze. 

Once his friend left the shadows seemed to grow larger again, but Bucky tried to cling to positive memories and feelings instead of focusing on the empty spot beside him in bed and the closet being half-empty. He wasn't alone and his heart would eventually stop aching for Dot like a sore muscle.


	11. Chapter 11

Bucky didn't change his mind about the party, but Steve and him had another movie night. Everything seemed to be getting back to normal or rather Bucky got used to Dot's absence. He stuffed old photos and tokens into a box to get rid of them. It took him longer than necessary to throw them out and he felt miserable while doing so, but his apartment felt less like she's still haunting him afterwards.

With that taken care of Bucky thought he could finally relax, but for some reason he started feeling more irritated. At work, he kept getting into fights with Dum Dum for silly reasons and he also became hyper aware of Steve's scent. He should've figured it out sooner, but his next rut wasn't supposed to happen until spring and he usually knew when to expect them and start preparing accordingly.

Being able to be home a lot for once had a lot of interesting side effects. Steve was able to work more efficiently than he had before, which meant that for the first time in a while, he had a bit of disposable income. His first ‘for me’ purchase was a new pair of glasses. Technically, he’d needed glasses for a while after he’d accidentally broken his last pair during the transition from taken-to-single. 

Not everything was great, he still got dizzy spells and moments where he needed to sit down. Or else. And yeah, he still puked up breakfast, pills or no pills, but all in all. Things had improved. 

Not to mention it was just nice to be able to be near his friend without having to be sneaky about it. He felt guilty for taking pleasure in that, but from how awful Dot acted, Steve felt Bucky dodged a bullet. Bucky would find someone better. A nice girl that would appreciate him for the kind guy he was.

Steve panted quietly at the top of the stairs, holding his canvas bag of groceries and cursing the apartment’s faulty elevator. He’d been tempted to text Bucky and see where he was and if he wanted some of the cheap apples he’d bought, but — Bucky seemed on edge the past few days, and not ‘post-break-up’ on edge like before. He wanted to ask what was going on, yet he worried he was being too bossy and nosey lately. Being at home all the time was turning him into a gossip.

Steve walked more into the apartment and stopped in his tracks, head tilting up as he sniffed. He thought he smelled something there for a moment. Shaking his head, he opened his door and waddled in, leaving it momentarily open since it was only him, Bucky, and two other people up here and the others weren’t exactly the breaking-and-entering type.

Bucky knew he had to tell Steve, give him a heads up before shit was going to hit the fan. He waited for the right timing, for a moment when he could casually mention it, but he ended up tongue-tied. Soon he'd reach a point where he could no longer hide his second gender, because not even his best scent-blockers were strong enough the scent of an Alpha going into rut.

Bucky felt like a doomsday prepper, carrying one pack of isotonic drinks in each hand and a backpack full of instant food. Considering that he didn't plan to leave the apartment as often for the upcoming week it was an appropriate amount, considering. He'd started cooking his own meals again, regularly sharing them with Steve. During his rut he didn't have the focus for more than turning on the microwave or the kettle. 

It felt like having a very intense fever dream, with his body constantly overheating and his sex drive going through the roof. With a partner, going through rut was an amazing experience, a lot less painful and only taking a few days in his case. Now that he's alone with no one to mate Bucky inwardly prepared himself for a week full of pleasure and agony.

Walking up the stairs he immediately picked up on Steve's sweet apple-cinnamon smell, lingering in the air and luring him towards the owner. By the time he'd reached their floor Bucky was half-hard, breathing more heavily than he usually would when not using the elevator. 

Steve's door was ajar, an open invitation and Bucky wanted to step inside almost as badly as he wanted to turn around and run the other way. A discontent, quite growl rumbled in his throat and he was quick to bite his lip, effectively silencing himself.

Meanwhile, Steve hummed quietly to himself as he set out what he planned to make for dinner. Some kind of spaghetti, he’d find a recipe online while he laid down for a little bit before cooking. He was reaching the point in the day where a nap was imminent and would happen whether he liked it or not.

He stopped putting up his groceries halfway through to hurry off to pee, again. At least this way he could kick off his shoes and coat. It had snowed two days ago, and Steve was almost thankful he was pregnant and giving him some extra blood to circulate. Gaining a little weight also was a nice cushion against the bitter cold. 

Steve wondered out, shrugging on a thick ankle-length knit jacket gifted to him by the window below. He’d taken to visiting Mrs Young often, bringing little sweets and chatting. It was nice, almost like having a grandmother, an experience he’d never had. 

He glanced towards the door as he walked towards the kitchen, and smiled. ”Hey Buck! I bought some apples if you want some. They were really cheap with a coupon, figured I'd make a pie or something?” Surrounded by his den of pregnancy pheromones he hadn’t picked up yet on Bucky’s budding rut-scent. Yet.

Flinching at Steve's greeting Bucky felt like he'd been caught red-handed, despite still clutching onto his drinks and not doing anything but wantonly staring at his neighbor's door.

"No thanks, just went grocery shopping myself. Pie sounds great." He answered in an attempt to act natural.

In a truly amazing reversal, Steve made it a habit to make sure Bucky wasn’t phoning in his meals now that Dot wasn’t there. Bucky was the reason Steve was even getting used to moving around his kitchen, so he felt like he should pay it forward.

"Think I'm coming down with something, so I'm gonna put myself into quarantine for the weekend..." It sounded like a legit excuse to avoid any visits. Steve hadn't the best immune system to begin with and he shouldn't risk getting sick while still having the baby. At the same time Bucky knew that Steve wasn't stupid and he couldn't hide his rut under the disguise of a flu.

It was a bad idea and if he were less of a coward he'd just tell his friend what was the matter and that he couldn't look at him without getting aroused and having a lot of non-platonic thoughts. Dragging his feet he crossed the distance to his apartment, putting down the plastic bottles to unlock the door.

Steve frowned and tied off his jacket as he walked towards the door. 

He poked his head around the door jamb around the time Bucky slipped the key in the door. “You sure you don’t need to — “ A warm, rich scent hit his nose and Steve stuttered to a quiet,”-- um…” It wasn’t as strong as his, not by a long shot, or rather...not yet. Even still, the smell slithered up his nose and made him want to bury his face in it. 

"I'm sure." Bucky hastily replied, not even daring to look up and meet Steve's eyes while speaking. He felt as if having an unmated Omega nearby only amplified the symptoms of his nearing rut. Fuck, why had he locked his door twice before, this was taking too much time!

Steve blinked, hard. His expression wasn’t sure where to settle, between open longing, confusion.

“Buck?” He questioned quietly, only half-stepping out of his door.

"Not right now, Steve." Bucky uttered, sounding more gruff than before, ignoring the troubled looks Steve was shooting him. Finally, pushing the door open he almost forgot about his drinks, grabbing them last second and shutting the door with his shoulder. 

He took a shaky breath when Steve was out of sight, trying to ignore the whiff of saccharine scent that had followed him. Shit, this would have been the perfect moment to confess and he'd decided to book it instead. 

Putting away the groceries he went for a shower and allowed himself to jerk himself off in the room the farthest away from Steve's bedroom.

Steve stared at the closed door for a handful of seconds, still trying to process what happened. Had Bucky gotten in a fight with an Alpha? But that didn’t make sense, the scent wasn’t overly angry. Spicy, but in the good way. Peppery. Not to mention the coffee whiffs. Maybe Bucky borrowed one of his friend’s shirts, he did have a bit of a rough job.

Bucky was allowed to be in a bad mood. Steve had to remind himself of that. 

Sighing, he went back to his apartment and closed his door, content to wrap denial around himself like a blanket as he finished unpacking his groceries.

—

There were times when living alone really sucked. Having to take out the trash by himself during a cold autumn day was one of them.

Steve grumbled down every flight of stairs, taking moments to regroup at each landing. His blood pressure still constantly gave him fits and if he wasn’t careful he could very easily pass out. Or so the doctor warned. He loathed having to be more careful than usual, but...it was for the baby.

He pushed open the door to the alley with a grunt, thanking the God above that most of the area was covered by the tall buildings above and the little overhang. 

He walked right into someone’s back.

A bouquet of pure Alpha hit his nose a moment later that had been otherwise drowned by the wind cutting through the alley. It was — God it was so good. Warm rich notes of freshly brewed coffee melded with crisp black pepper with a hint of...rain? But better than rain. The kind of warm, summer rain that brought out the smell of flowers in the park. 

And sex. Hot, sticky, delicious sex. The Alpha was dipped in it, and Steve’s mind whispered rut with the same fervor that had made him hitch his wagon to the first jackass of an Alpha that came his way.

He wasn’t proud of how hard it hit him, and he nearly staggered back onto his ass.

“Shit,” Steve cussed trying not to fall and take his trash with him.  
-  
Bucky called in sick at work, although he told his friends and coworkers that he was going into rut. He also apologized to Dum Dum for being such a dick over the last week and he owed him a drink or two. 

His scent blockers stopped working and he didn't waste any more by taking them, making sure that his door was sealed and he kept his windows closed during the day, only airing out at night, when he turned restlessly on the sheets. Every fiber against his body was too much, his skin feeling oversensitive and wearing clothes became torture, so he didn't. No one was seeing him anyway and this way he could jump in and out of shower more easily. The heavy scent of his arousal returned every time, growing stronger.

Five days. He could do this. It had become a mantra he kept repeating in his head while lighting up a cigarette and taking a deep inhale. Sue him for breaking his promise and start smoking again. He had 99 problems and this was one he could solve after his rut when it took more than a breeze to give him a full-blown erection.

Standing beside the dumpsters outside, he'd needed a short break from his isolation cell that was his apartment. The garbage would hopefully cover his scent if only for a few minutes. He tilted his head back, exhaling a cloud of smoke, feeling the way his shirt clung to his back, damp with sweat. Rapidly losing his body fluids and his sanity seemed to be the only activities he's capable of these days.

Bucky heard the door open and got ready to return to his flat, despite not having finished his smoke yet. 

Out of every person possibly meeting him out here — 

— it had to be Steve. And if that wasn't enough of a temptation thrown his way his friend ran straight into him. Bucky grabbed his arm out of sheer reflex, preventing him from hitting the ground.

The bigger problem was to let go and make an exit. His scent spiked with the physical contact, the pepper note becoming more spicy and he could feel his cock twitch in the loose confinement of his sweatpants. This was actually the worst case scenario coming true. 

Forcing his fingers to unfurl from Steve's arm Bucky took a step back, eyes darkening.

The Alpha’s strong hand steadied Steve easily, and Steve’s heart jumped right into his throat. The Alpha was so hot Steve could feel his touch through the layer of his jacket. Or maybe it was wishful thinking.

Steve tracked his eyes up, and dropped the bag of trash on the ground. Bucky. It was Bucky smelling like he’d crawled right out of a ‘Knotty Boys’ magazine intent on devouring him whole. 

Bucky, who was supposed to be a Beta or an Omega. Bucky, whom he’d known for long enough to describe him as a direly close friend. Bucky, who’s ex had jealous issues Steve was beginning to understand. Bucky who smelled so good Steve could already feel himself getting slick. Bucky...who was in rut.

He was already pregnant so it wasn’t like a heat could get triggered, but he was still unmated and Bucky smelled like Steve needed to lick every square inch of him. 

Steve punched him.

He went for the arm since he didn’t really want to hurt Bucky, but he didn’t make it a love tap either. He had many years of throwing punches and while he didn’t way more than a feather, he knew how to maximize what he had.

“You asshole!” Steve hissed, fangs flashing. He ignored the core ache rapidly building in him from Bucky’s rut, too fueled by anger. 

“Fuckin’ sick huh?” It was so like an Alpha to be this deceptive and — God, Steve couldn’t believe this. After so long and this was how he found out.

Words failed Bucky, his tongue glued to his gums and he could observe the initial shock and realization on Steve's turn into hot burning anger. He didn't try to block Steve's punch, the short flash of pain not enough to dampen his arousal. Bucky knew he deserved this and that it's entirely his fault. At the same time his Alpha lizard brain wanted to push back and return the blame, feeling provoked by his friend's aggressive behavior.

"You never asked!" He shot back, grinding his teeth instead of baring his fangs at Steve. "You kept telling me how awful all Alphas are and how they're ruining your life. How was I supposed to tell you that I'm one of them? You'd have thrown me in the same pot with Gilmore and that office jerk!" Bucky accused Steve, fingers curling into fists.

Steve knew there was some merit to Bucky’s argument, but his hind brain was going full tilt. Half of his mind blared ‘Submitsubmitsubmit’ while the other was acutely aware he was pregnant, unmated, and vulnerable and was screaming a loud ‘Protectprotectprotect’. Neither were helping in this situation.

Steve’s scent wasn’t sure what it was doing right now. He couldn’t deny he was aroused at this point, and Bucky — Fuck. It took all the self-control within him not to look down and see just how the rut was affecting him. It was a small miracle Steve had worn dark pants down or else the embarrassment of having the seat of his pants visibly wet would have killed him.

But there was also a sharp, stinging fear that threaded into Steve’s scent in response to Bucky getting angry at him back.

He groped behind him for the door handle, not daring to turn his back on the Alpha like this. His free hand was on his stomach, as if he was prepared to fight tooth and nail if Bucky took any movement towards him.

"So fucking sorry for not telling you sooner and trying to be your friend!" Steve had no right to judge him for his decision to hide his secondary gender. Bucky was convinced that Steve would've never befriended him if he'd known Bucky was an Alpha. He'd have second-guessed every gesture, wondering if Bucky was just being nice to get into his pants.

Well, that's unfortunately all he could think of while glaring at him and his stupid, handsome face. He could smell that Steve reacted to his hormones, the sinful scent of slick, starting to wet his insides. Bucky knew there's no point trying to hide his own erection, so he didn't. Maybe Steve should've punched his dick instead of his arm.

The little furl of Steve’s lip turned into a full-blown growl that bubbled loudly in his throat. He felt the hair on the back of his neck rise, fingers twitching despite the fact that like most people he kept his claws clipped and blunted.

“You’re being a fucking jerk now!” Steve hissed back, heart thudding against the walls of his chest. 

He got his hand around the doorknob and tugged, nearly bumping himself in the back with it in the process.

Bucky wasn't aware how intimidating he appeared until he detected an entirely new scent on Steve. Fear. Steve was afraid of him, despite the whole snarling and show of fangs. Did he really believe Bucky was going to hurt him or the baby?

Bucky’s anger didn't instantly vanish, but it was laced with hurt regarding Steve's lack of trust and acting as if Bucky was about to pounce. He treated him like a dangerous animal.

"I'm not gonna hurt you..." Bucky stated more quietly, taking another step back to prove his words, allowing Steve to retreat. He felt confused with his emotions being all over the place. He'd just wanted to have a short smoke break, which had turned into a big fight and now Steve was running away because he'd scared him off. 

It felt like being left behind all over again. Feeling more and more distressed himself Bucky wanted to lock himself back up in his apartment, yet he didn't dare to move past Steve.

Steve’s bubbling growl didn’t taper until Bucky’s reassurance stopped it cold in his throat. He took stock of himself. Postured, defensive, and acting like he expected Bucky to keep yelling till he — 

Acted like Gilmore.

He clamped his lips shut, wavering in his retreat. He didn’t really believe Bucky would hurt him, or use his rut to his advantage. But the deep-seated fear he thought he’d recovered from since moving here had cropped up hard. Considering how his kid had been conceived, this situation felt — adjacent. 

He swallowed, feeling his core tighten up in want once again. 

“I’ll...I’ll talk to you later, Buck.” The ‘after your rut is over’ was heavily implied. There was no way he could be near Bucky right now if they wanted to keep the friendship they had. Steve...Steve didn’t trust him. Not after all that bullshit with the Alpha from his workplace. Bucky was his best friend, and there was no way in hell they were ruining that.

"...okay." Bucky agreed with a heavy heart, but at least Steve had stopped growling and he's still Buck not James.

Steve eyed Bucky a moment longer, exhaled, and turned to walk away. Offering his back to the Alpha prickled every self-preservation instinct in his body, but — he had to believe Bucky was different.

Slouching his shoulders Bucky watched Steve's retreatingback and dug the heels of his boots into the pavement, preventing himself from following Steve. He waited until the door fell shut and gave Steve some extra time to climb the stairs while he picked up the trash bag and had another smoke. Only then did he return to his flat.

Steve hated himself. He barely got into his apartment before he fled to his bedroom, stripping down, and desperately fished for his knot-toy in his bedside drawer. 

He was shamefully slick, almost as much as he produced in his heat. He shivered, pressing his face into his pillow to muffle the sharp cry of him plunging the toy in. A full-body shiver rippled through him, Bucky’s rich, delectable scent still clogging his nose. 

More than anything, he hated that Bucky, his best friend, had made him want it so badly.   
-  
One of the few 'advantages" of being in rut was his shortened attention span. Bucky wasn't going to forget the fight- the first one he had with Steve, but he could push the memory into the back of his mind and ignore it while he stripped out of his clothes and sat down heavily on the couch, covered with towels.

Bucky usually had a vivid imagination, which didn't stop him from opening some porn website on his laptop and letting videos of Omegas in heat run on repeat. Grabbing for the fleshlight he'd abandoned earlier Bucky squeezed fresh lube into it, shuddering when he pushed the tight silicone tunnel onto his cock. It obviously couldn't be compared to a real, warm body sinking onto his lap.

His face pressed into pillow, a frustrated howl getting muffled by the fabric when another unsatisfying orgasm wrecked his frame. The toys weren't enough and it felt like his body took revenge on him for cheating, by not giving him the pleasure and relief he's seeking so desperately.  
— —-  
Steve felt like hot garbage in July. After getting his system so riled up after Bucky, it was hard to calm it back down. His pregnancy-arousal combined with getting whiffs of Bucky’s rut-scent when he stepped outside a true hell.

Not to mention, if he didn’t keep music on in his apartment he could swear he heard Bucky occasionally over the past few days, which didn’t help his issues in the least. 

“You guys are really torturing each other up there,” Julio remarked with a small smirk, passing off Steve a container of leftover pasta despite his protests. These days Steve joined Julio on Thursdays when Dan was at work to watch the kids while Julio cooked and gab. Julio said it was great practice, and Steve agreed. He was covered in marker and smelled like Play-Doh.

“He could have given me a head’s-up.” Steve groused, scrubbing his hands over his face and back through his hair. 

Julio hummed his agreement. ”I’ll admit...we kind of thought — you know...with Dot leaving, that you two were…”, he trailed, noting the increasing levels of burnt garlic. 

“Are you serious? Does everyone think that?” Julio’s answering look said volumes.

-  
On the fourth day Bucky somehow managed to put together a very basic profile for a hook-up app, because he couldn't handle another day by himself. He'd already popped more painkillers than the package insert recommended, stomach growling due to the lack of proper meals.

He accepted the first match that popped up and sent them his address. Right now he couldn't care less about gender or looks as long as they could get on all fours for him.

Bucky felt like he was being reborn after catching over six hours of sleep without waking up painfully hard. That didn't mean his cock didn't stiffen as soon as he roused and became aware of the wonderful smelling body next to him. After three rounds it had only seemed appropriate to offer his guest to take a nap with him and he'd been pleased when the other man agreed, snuggling up against his chest. Bucky knew that he's going to have to leave soon, but until then they could maybe do it one more time?

Caressing the Omega's ass Bucky let his fingers slide over his rim, easily dipping two fingers into the damp heat. Fuck, he was still feeling loose from before and Bucky could feel his cock twitch with growing interest.

"You're insatiable." He heard David (?) mutter through a yawn, tho it didn't sound like he was truly annoyed with the antics of Bucky's dick. 

"Can't help it. You felt so good wrapped around me..." Bucky purred lowly, brushing his lips over a purple bruise he'd previously left on his lover's shoulder.

They ended up going at it two more times before managing to reach the shower. Bucky organized an Uber while they ate energy bars and mini pizzas for...lunch...dinner?

"Thanks for keeping me company." Bucky said his goodbyes afterwards, following his guest to the door.

"Anytime, you got my number." He was reminded with a flirty smirk and a peck on the lips. Bucky waited till he was out of sight before closing the door again, completely missing Steve's arrival.

Steve stomped up the steps with his to-go container in hand. He was in pre-pajamas, an oversize University hoodie he’d stolen from Gilmore that went down to his thighs and plush leggings. Complete with ugly faux-fur-lined house boots and a marker butterfly smudged on his cheek. He smelled like milk from his nursing bra, and his fog of irritation nearly overpowered even that. All in all, he knew he looked as bad as he felt.

The smell that permeated the air hit Steve as soon as his foot hit their floor. He could hear people talking, Bucky being one of them. The scent made him swallow hard. Bucky’s intense coffee-pepper smelled melded with someone that smelled like bad cologne and clover. More importantly, it smelled like sex. The kind you had to change not only the sheets after but spray down the mattress and let it air out kind of pounding. 

Then his eyes met the Omega’s walking out of Bucky’s apartment. A cute, attractive guy with a freshly-fucked glow all around him. He reeked of Bucky, even if it had been muted by the shower. Steve could practically smell Bucky’s dick on the guy. 

"Morning." Dave greeted the other Omega cheerfully when their eyes met, despite the fact that it was past two already. Wrestling his other arm into the jacket his shirt rode up revealing a set of finger-shaped bruises on his hips.

Steve spotted the bruises and the one-two jab of jealousy hit him in the gut. The Omega probably had bite-marks too. The Alpha he’d hooked up with hadn’t even left bruises, let alone bit him. He’d brought a bite-guard for fuck’s sake. 

Steve snorted a low note of dismissal, his scent doubling down on his displeasure with sneeze-inducing intensity. He brushed by the poor guy that was probably starting out his day great and absolutely didn’t deserve Steve being a little shit to him, but so fucking what. Life was like that sometimes. At least he hadn’t growled like he’d wanted to. 

What was wrong with him lately?

He unlocked his door and slammed it, instantly stripping off his clothing and tossing them into the hamper. He lit a scent-neutralizing candle he could stand and changed clothes, purging any lingering scent from the hall from his area with vicious determination.

Relaxed and content Bucky collected the dirty sheets and towels, dumping all of them into the washer. He felt like the worst of his rut was over and he actually managed to listen to some music and read a book for a few hours before his libido acted up again. 

After two more days his scent became less intense and he didn't feel constantly horny anymore, which was a huge blessing. The scale had revealed that he'd lost almost five pounds and Bucky thought that half of it must be from spunk and the other half was him sweating like a racehorse. He'd considered giving himself a spontaneous haircut since the long strands had constantly slipped out of his hair tie or stuck to his neck and it could be part of his post-break up process. In the end he decided to leave it to an actual hairdresser.

Once Bucky started taking his scent-blockers again he called at work and told them that he'd be back on Tuesday. Bucky also sent Steve a short message, asking if he wanted to meet at the waffle place and talk. It seemed like a more neutral territory than either of their apartments. He felt bad for getting angry with Steve and he wanted to apologize for his behavior, yet he couldn't promise that he might not behave like a jerk the next time he went into rut.

Bucky was used to getting an answer fairly quick, but after checking his phone three times during one hour with no answer he started to wonder if Steve was ignoring him or maybe he needed some time to think about his answer? 

Two days with no response made it pretty clear that Steve was ghosting him and Bucky tried not to feel pissed about it, since he'd avoided Steve as well before his rut. Work was a welcome distraction and when his friends invited him to have a few beers afterwards he agreed. At some point his pals left, but he didn't feel ready to return to his flat yet, so he stayed and had a couple more drinks.

The walk home and the fresh, crispy air was supposed to clear up the fog in his head...without success. Bucky was still drunk when he arrived at his building, cursing the broken elevator while he stumbled upstairs. How long could it take to fix that stupid pile of garbage? He might just watch a youtube tutorial about it and do it himself!

Fumbling with his keys he dropped them once or twice before wrestling the first available key into the lock. The light had gone off just when he'd reached his floor, which made the whole unlocking procedure extra challenging. Why did the damn key not fit? After trying every single key twice Bucky let his head fall against the door with a thump, accepting his fate of sleeping in the hallway tonight.  
-  
Steve was avoiding Bucky. He wasn’t even trying to kid himself anymore. The day he got the text, he’d looked down at his phone and immediately shut it off. It had been second nature. 

Steve was pissed for so many reasons he had a hard time deciding what was irking him the most. He still didn’t understand the burst of searing-hot jealousy that clawed at him like a rabid animal seeing that Omega waltz out of Bucky’s apartment. Who was he jealous over? It had to just be because that Omega got something he wanted. It wasn’t that it was Bucky...Just an Alpha making this itch that much worse. 

He hadn’t even known Bucky was into men.

Where did Bucky get off not telling him about his rut as if that wouldn’t affect him? Of course he was going to fucking smell it! His pregnancy-nose which was bloodhound level! He’d changed detergents five times since getting pregnant just to try finding a scent he could stand.

Then there was Bucky just flat out not telling him he was an Alpha. No wonder Dot had been pissed, which only made Steve wonder if she’d been an Omega which would just make matters that much worse. 

Steve was in the process of scrubbing the dishes from dinner after a marathon of Netflix when he heard someone at his door. He bristled, turning to look at the door that was sure to turn into a burglar or monster here any moment. 

The jiggling at his door continued and then abruptly cut off. Steve eased a drying knife from the counter and crept towards the door. He had to stand on tiptoes to look into the keyhole. It was dark, but he could make out a head with dark hair. It was the barely-there glimpse of a familiar jacket that tipped him off.

“Fucking — “ He hissed, putting the knife down on a near-by table and wrenching the door open, prepared to chew the ever loving hell out of Bucky for scaring him like that.

Bucky wasn't prepared for the door to open itself, so when the only support that kept him upright -aside from his legs- suddenly disappeared he ended up falling over and landing in a graceless heap beside Steve on the floor.

Steve hurriedly stepped back as Bucky crumpled to the ground since he couldn’t exactly catch him. He looked at the Bucky-shaped mess on his face, face pinched to the point of sucking on lemons.

"What the hell..." Bucky uttered with a pained groan, holding his head while flipping onto his side like a wet sack of flour. Blinking up Steve in confusion Bucky was even more puzzled to find him inside his apartment.

"How did you get in?" Had he given Steve his spare key and forgot about it? He couldn't remember the exact amount of Old Fashioneds he had either, so it seemed like a plausible explanation for the current situation. 

“Get in — You — “ Steve seethed, sounding briefly like a teakettle as he worked not to kick Bucky right out into the hallway.

"First you're ignoring me and then you just show up..." Bucky complained, pushing himself into a sitting position. That's around the time when he recognized Steve's furniture.

"Oh. Nevermind."

“You make me think someone is trying to break into my place and you’re too drunk to even know where you are.” Steve stabbed his finger towards the knife on the table,” I nearly knifed you, you idiot!”

"I'm at your place." Bucky mumbled petulantly, trying not to go cross-eyed looking at two angry Steve's at the same time. "Would that make us even?", he asked out of curiosity, because he was drunk enough that his body might not even register the pain. "Just...not the face."

Steve turned on his heel and stormed into the kitchen to fill the angriest glass of water in his life. He returned, holding out the glass with a menacing scowl. ”Drink the fucking water and get out from the door.” At this point he didn’t care if Bucky came in or wobbled his way outside, he just needed Bucky to make a decision so Steve could sit down and lower his blood pressure.

Staying at his place on the floor Bucky felt dizzy, but not sick...yet. "Thanks." He remembered his manners while accepting the glass of not vodka and managed to pour the content into his mouth. See, he was practically sober!

Slowly looking from the couch to the door Bucky chose the closer option and dragged himself to the sofa to slump onto and curl up until the room stopped spinning. Okay, maybe there's still alcohol in his system, but he wasn't going to throw up. Mostly because he thought Steve's head would explode if he puked into his living room. There's so much anger contained in that little body.

Steve watched Bucky crawl himself over to the sofa with a dull look of resigned frustration. This wasn’t how he wanted to see Bucky again, and definitely not how he expected his night to go.

Grumbling, Steve fetched a deep mixing bowl from the kitchen, a damp washrag, and a couple of painkillers. 

“Take these,” Steve slapped the painkillers into Bucky’s hand and held out the refilled glass with all the expectant irritation of a stay at home mom.

”Be still,” He laid the cool cloth on Bucky’s head after pushing from of Bucky’s hair out of the way — It was shorter, which was unexpected. Nice, but Steve wasn’t in the mood to decide if he liked this or Bucky’s prior look better.

“So bossy." Bucky let out a suffering sigh, but dutifully swallowed the pills, drank more water and let Steve cool his head. Resting his eyelids for a moment the nausea started to subside a little. 

“Damn right I’m bossy, you look like shit.” Steve huffed, contemplating smothering Bucky with a pillow for stressing him out so much before bed. Still, he was at least glad Bucky had stumbled against his apartment and not someone else’s. Or passed out in the hallway. 

“If you puke, puke in the bowl.” He pointed at the mixing bowl he set on the floor near Bucky’s head.

"Mmh," Bucky gave an affirmative noise in return, hoping that he wouldn't need the bowl. The same bowl Steve probably used to bake pies. Speaking of, he'd been promised apple pie. Empty words.

”You smell,” Steve remarked flatly as he tugged down a blanket from the couch and laid it over Bucky’s body. Bucky reeked of alcohol and it made Steve’s sensitive nose prickle and stomach roll.

"You're a real charmer, Stevie." Bucky snorted upon hearing him keep ranting. He's like those sparrows causing more ruckus than any big birds.

”How many drinks did you have? Should I be worried about alcohol poisoning right now?” Steve nudged Bucky sharply to get his attention focused again.

Bucky was about to nod off when Steve's elbow forced him back to the present. "What? No, I'm not gonna die here...I just had some beer and whiskey. There's orange in it, so it's healthy." Already expected that Steve wasn't going to like his answer he covered his side with one hand.

Steve rolled his eyes so hard it hurt. Healthy his ass. What the heck had gotten into Bucky that he —

"I was out having a good time with my friends from work. Didn't want to go home to an empty flat and you still bein’ mad at me. You said we're gonna talk...but you're just gonna abandon me like Dot did. You don't wanna fix it 'cuz leaving is much easier, isn't it?” Bucky voiced, opening his eyes to meet Steve's, which appeared icy when they weren't softened by his usual kindness.

"I messed up, I know, but it's the first time and you're not even considering giving me a second chance..."

Steve froze, listening to Bucky’s grumbled explanation. He...hadn’t expected any of that. He knew Bucky was a nice person by nature, and part of him wondered if Bucky just helped him out because of that. Steve constantly doubted people’s investment in him. He honestly thought Bucky wouldn’t stress so much about Steve fuming for a little while.

He felt like an asshole.

Sighing, he sat down on the edge of the couch to start wrestling Bucky’s shoes off. “I was going to talk...eventually.” He replied, putting Bucky’s shoes under the coffee table to prevent a tripping hazard.

"Sure." Bucky commented doubtfully. How long would Steve have avoided him if he hadn't accidentally tried to break into his flat? Weeks? Months? It's not like Bucky could've done anything aside from camping in front of Steve's flat, which might've gotten him a restraining order.

”It was a lot to handle.” Steve sat back against the cushions and pulled the blanket over Bucky’s feet. 

“I wanted to tell you something but I also don’t — not like you probably haven’t guessed. And yeah, you being an Alpha does kind of change things, Buck. But I wasn’t just going to — stop talking. We live next to each other, you idiot.” He nudged Bucky’s leg slightly with a small smile.

The thing was...Bucky really wanted to believe him. That Steve wasn't just saying those words to calm him down. He could've kicked Bucky's drunk ass out of his home, but was taking care of him instead, so this had to mean something, right? The situation was confusing and he felt emotionally drained. 

Bucky could've argued that he'd lived next to other people before, who he didn't communicate with, aside from banging against the wall when their techno music was too loud. Steve and him had met on the fire escape before, just so they could talk.

"Okay..." Bucky replied eventually, slightly pressing his feet against Steve's thigh. "I'm tired. Can we keep talking tomorrow?" He asked, switching from resting his head against the backrest to the pillow, while trying not to think about the fact that he had to be at work in...a few hours.

“Yeah, we can.” Steve was still unsure if he was going to say what he wanted to, to explain his reaction, but he’d face that tomorrow.

Steve was almost glad Bucky had made an idiot out of himself tonight. It helped put things into perspective. Bucky wasn’t like some of the other Alphas he’d met. Ones that would get belligerent when drunk. And yeah, Bucky had gotten snippy at him during rut, but Bucky backed down as soon as he realized Steve was a little afraid of him.

Bucky was...he was a good man. Stupid at points, but a good man.

“I’m going to sleep, drink the rest of the water before passing out.” Steve patted Bucky’s legs again before carefully maneuvering himself up off the couch. The closer he got to popping the harder it was to get up with any kind of grace.

Bucky felt like his bladder had already reached its limit, but he made a show emptying the water while Steve was still around. "Good night." He slurred, not even bothering to take the damp cloth off his face.

Steve shuffled into his room, acutely aware that someone else was in the apartment as he took a shower and got ready for bed. Still, he crawled under his sheets, listening for a few minutes to make sure Bucky was alright before letting sleep take him.

Somewhere in the background Bucky could hear the rush of water pulling him to sleep and he slept like a comatose sloth till morning only leaving the warm couch to relieve his bladder. 

Thanks to the water and painkillers he didn't feel half as bad as he's supposed to. After washing his hands and face he was about to curl back up on the couch for a few more hours when he remembered that he had a job and was probably already running late.

"Fuck..." Bucky cursed under his breath, searching for his shoes and finding them beneath the coffee table. He could get away with wearing the same clothes twice, since he was gonna change into his overalls anyway. There's no time to wait for Steve or leave him a hand-written note, so he left his apartment on quiet find, writing him a message while sitting in the bus.

'Sorry, had to leave for work. Thanks for taking care of my boozy ass. Dinner tonight?'

Steve slept surprisingly well for having an Alpha in the apartment, which said something he guessed. As troubling as it was, Steve knew Bucky was different. Him being an Alpha didn’t have to ruin their friendship. Steve could...he could get over this.

He woke up, and after running to the bathroom to pee he returned to bed to warm up under the blankets again. He groped for his phone and opened Bucky’s message with a soft yawn.

[I’d say depends on who’s cookin’ but I guess since you tried to drown yourself in booze last night I’ll cook.] He smirked, [But I demand offerings of sugar, preferably of the chocolate variety. I will settle for caramel or strawberry if I must.]

This was another way he knew their dynamic was different. He would have never dreamed of saying that kind of thing with Gilmore. Gilmore had hardly ever done anything with just Steve in mind, outside of Valentine’s Day or when he wanted something. Steve knew Bucky would do it too because of last night, and just because he asked. Bucky was...Bucky was still his best friend, and Steve had to reconcile a few things in his head to get back to stasis with that.

[Unsuccessfully, but since you're offering :)) You're getting salted caramel cuz that's what you are], Bucky wrote back with a smile on his face, relieved that they're back to their normal banter.

Steve smirked and rolled his eyes. Still, it felt nice to be able to be himself. The person he thought he’d lost. He didn’t think he’d ever be the same, not after Gilmore, but he was learning how to blend the past few years with that fire and passion he’d possessed when he was younger. And Bucky still wanted to be friends with him anyway.

Bucky’s friends ribbed him for being late, but he could tell that they weren't even mad and he promised to make up for it by buying a round of donuts for lunch to appease them as well. Everything could be solved with some sugar. Catching up with his work time flew by and before he knew it his shift was over and he changed back into his rumpled clothes.

"Got lucky?", Gabe asked him with a telltale grin, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but not what you're thinking of pal." Bucky returned with a snort, saying his goodbyes and walking to the supermarket where he got Steve his chocolate. He briefly considered bringing flowers too, but that would probably be a tad too much and he wouldn't be surprised if Steve reacted allergic to them considering his medical history.

[I'm on my way!] Bucky let Steve know after having to sprint down the street to catch the bus.

Steve spent the day as he usually did these days, alternating between working and preparing the house for the baby. He’d shuffled around his bedroom, pushing his bed against the wall. He didn’t have that much in the way of clothing so everything he had fit into one dresser and closet, so he had plenty of room to set up the changing table and crib. 

He set his latest project, making diaper-covers, on the little dining table since he doubted they’d be using it. Most of the time they plopped their asses on the couch because who was around to judge them?

[Hope you like mac n cheese because that’s what the little one was craving today.] Steve replied as he peered into the oven, a little proud of himself for making home-made mac n cheese instead of just using it from the box. The chicken was baking next to it, and he’d forced himself to make a vegetable of green beans. He usually loved vegetables but lately he’d just wanted carbs, carbs, and more carbs.

[Real gourmet. The more cheese the better] Bucky approved of the baby's choice. Back home he made a short detour to his flat to change his clothes and brush his teeth, so he wasn't smelling like stale beer anymore. Slipping into his well-worn boots he walked over to 107, knocking at the door.

"Chocolate delivery service!" Bucky announced right before Steve opened the door. 

Steve made grabby hands for the chocolate, immediately unwrapping one to nibble on despite the fact they were about to eat dinner. He’d have no problem switching from chocolate to cheese, and he knew exactly how disgusting it was. Pregnancy toed the line between the miraculous and the revolting minute from minute.

"Hey." Bucky added in greeting, holding out the sweet sacrifices for his friend. "Smells...cheesy." He noted upon getting a whiff of the dinner cooking in the kitchen.

"Thanks for cooking. Promise I'm gonna get back to the stove soon." He'd lived off Steve's food for long enough and it was time to give something back. Not just to Steve but the neighbors he's close to in general. Bucky had made himself sparse the past weeks and he planned to invite a small group for dinner to catch up with everyone.

“You better. I’m going to be a blimp here soon, afraid my stomach is going to end up knocking things over in the kitchen.” He smirked, waddling back into the kitchen to turn off the oven.

"Oh, what are those?" Bucky asked, regarding Steve's latest project laying on the table.

Looking over his shoulder, Steve followed Bucky’s line of sight. ”Diaper covers. I’m using cloth diapers, so I thought I’d make some to make sure everything stays in place.” Using reusable cloth diapers was going to save him a staggering amount of money and he’d already made sure to clear it with the apartment head. Julio used them as well, along with two other mothers in the building, so apparently there was a designated ‘diaper’ washing machine in the basement since the idea seemed to squick many people out. As if they were never babies once. 

So far he’d made one with sharks on it, another with unicorns, and his latest one looked to be clouds. “Next on my list are matching pacifier clips and a few more blankets. I got a bunch of fabric on sale, so I’m trying to maximize what I can get from them.” 

"I wasn't aware that's a thing. Sounds like you're preparing for fashion week." Bucky remarked, taking a closer look at the different designs.

“If you call two dollars a yard fashion week,” Steve smirked. It might be discount fabric, but it was still more than he could have ever afforded before. Now that he wasn’t paying for transportation every day as well as ‘work appropriate’ clothing, he had money to spend on getting the baby’s things prepared. Not to mention this new job paid more, which marked the improvement in food. He shopped at the thrifty markets of course, and heavily leaned on coupons, but he could afford things other than meals based on what could be stretched the longest now.

Better yet, he was pretty sure his benefits would kick in just in time for delivery, as long as the kid held out. Steve prayed everyday he didn’t deliver early even if the doctor said it was dangerous. Either he would be induced early to save both of their lives and be in medical debt from now until he died, or he would have to risk killing them both and being financially stable. It felt like a metaphor for living in the United States if he ever heard one.

"I like the unicorns." Bucky mentioned with a grin, hoping that Steve had gotten the inspiration from the movie, though there was unicorn merchandise around every corner these days, so he couldn't take all the credit.

"Looks like you've got a full schedule." Steve was obviously busy with work and preparing his home for the baby, yet he looked a lot less stressed compared to when he still worked at the office.

“Yeah, but it’s not nearly as stressful, and not being on my feet all day is literally the best thing ever.” Steve retrieved some drinks from the fridge with a faintly dreamy expression.

"Now if you were a spa tester, that would be the perfect job." This way Steve could just get to lay down a lot but also be on the receiving end of superb foot massages.

Steve pulled dinner out of the oven with a soft hum of anticipation. ”Get the plates down?” By now they were getting the set up of each other’s apartment, since the layout was the same. The only real difference was where furniture was arranged and what went where.

"Gotcha," Bucky went for the plates, letting Steve fix their servings before carrying them over to the coffee table. Steve had said Mac n Cheese, which was quite the understatement. There was chicken and greens, which should count as another two courses and he was pretty sure that the main meal wasn't even out of a box.

"Come here, I don't know how much longer I can hold back!"

“Go ahead, you rabid wolverine, before you start droolin’ on my couch.” Steve chortled, pulling a pillow onto his lap, so he could rest the plate on it. He wasn’t about to lean over the coffee table when leaning put pressure on his bladder or else his couch cushions would suffer more than Bucky’s saliva.

"You're an only-child Steve and it's showing." Bucky stated, taking a bite that would make an anaconda jealous. Growing up with four siblings had taught him to eat fast if he wanted a second serving and the trauma went deep. Almost a decade after moving out from his parent's house his first instinct when being presented with a meal was to devour it in record time. It had earned him enough disapproving looks that he learned to slow down and enjoy the dish, but it still happened when the food looked extra delicious.

“I forget you were part of a pack,” Steve teased, shaking his head at Bucky inhaling his first bite. As much as he tried to be aloof about it, his scent betrayed him, puffing out notes of daffodils and vanilla. It was nice to have someone so enthusiastic about his cooking. He was enjoying getting use out of his kitchen that wasn’t layered with stress about if he was going to have enough food to last the week. How many times he would get to eat in a day. 

"Oh God, I can never eat them out of a box again." Bucky muttered reverently, planning to throw away the one in his kitchen cupboard as soon as he was back. He was feeling real sick of premade food anyway. Managing to take a few smaller bites and properly chew them Bucky felt warmed up inside and out.

Steve pushed his momentary lapse into the past aside and took a bite of green beans, chuckling at Bucky’s antics.”Sometimes the boxed stuff hits the spot, but there’s something to be said about homemade.” 

"It's the little things.", Bucky agreed with a smile, cutting off another piece of chicken. He'd always liked to treat himself to a nice meal or watching a movie in the theater with Dot when he'd had a bit of extra money left at the end of the month. Bucky wasn't scraping by as badly as Steve, but he made sure to transfer money to his savings account for bigger investments in the future. Like that little house with the picket fence in the suburbs...not that there's much use for it with no one to move there, but he wasn't pessimistic enough to think that he wouldn't find someone else. He just had to start all over again and it would take much longer than initially planned.

Steve hummed around his first bite of cheesy noodles.”God, it feels fucking good to afford bullshit like this.” He wasn’t sure if Bucky could sympathize with that, but Steve felt like he’d been given a golden ticket. The issues with pre-eclampsia was stressful, but it was rare he had a small list of issues rather than an overwhelming book of them. Things were still tight, and Steve was balancing a pretty strict budget, yet he could afford to make homemade mac and cheese instead of boxed — and that was a thrill in and of itself. 

“I bought my own nausea pills this month,” Steve reported with a bright grin, unable to suppress the purr that welled in his throat from the combo of Bucky liking the food and feeling self-sufficient.

Letting Steve distract him from his gloomy thoughts Bucky took a sip from his water while listening to his friend's achievements. "That's great, I'm proud of you." Bucky might have directed him towards the job, but Steve had secured it on his own and no longer tried to get by without the medication he needed.

Steve's purr made his insides feel gooey, but it might as well be the amount of cheese in his stomach, so he wasn't examining the sensation too closely. They're both doing better and that's what counted.

Steve was grateful that their ancestors evolved out of their tails or else his would be taking off like a jet engine. It felt silly to be this pleased by someone saying ‘I’m proud of you’ but since his mother’s death he hadn’t heard things like that often. Less than often really. Just...not at all. 

It felt comfortable and easy to sit on the couch eating with Bucky, just chatting or watching garbage television. He ate more than he should have, considering his stomach could still be turbulent, especially if he overate. Not that it prevented him from breaking into the chocolate bar as soon as he’d eaten his ‘proper’ food.

“More in the kitchen if you want it.“, he told Bucky.

Not needing to be told twice Bucky went for a second slightly smaller serving. He left enough in the pot that Steve could have another lunch the following day.

After two more squares of chocolate Steve slowed, scent threading with fog. ”Remember when I said there was something I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell you or not?” He started, tugging a blanket down to lay over his legs.”I — know you’re not shitty like a lot of Alphas I met, I know that. But, when you didn’t warn me about the rut, and running into you out there...It freaked me out.” He loathed admitting he was frightened of Bucky as much as he’d been aroused. Both felt pretty awful.

“It’s about Gilmore.”

There's a shift in Steve's scent, the happy content notes being muted by something less sweet, but faintly sour. Of course, he remembered what Steve meant, he'd just forgotten to bring the topic up again after their radio silence.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you." Back then he'd been cross with Steve behaving like it was his right to know, but he hadn't understood the real reason why Steve had acted so betrayed.

It's always about Gilmore. 

Bucky didn't voice his thought out loud, but his pinched expression made it clear what he thought about Steve's ex.  
Steve waved off the ‘should’ve’s’. There were all kinds of fuck ups lately and he doubted their brief turns down jack-ass alley were their last. 

“It’s fine Buck, honestly...it’d help to have someone tell me I’m not the coward I think I am.” Steve chuckled thinly, rubbing the back of his neck with a thready exhale.

"He hurt you?" Bucky barely dared to state the question, afraid that Steve was going to confirm his suspicions. It'd explain Steve getting so defensive and downright scared of him.

"You don't have to tell me if it brings back bad memories for you." He added gently.

“We met at a bar, kind of the classic ‘Drink a bunch of booze and make shitty decisions’ kind of thing, except somehow he convinced me not to leave in the morning. Looking back now I’m pretty sure I reeked of desperation. I was still fresh after watching my mom die slowly from cancer and just...it was easier than any of the alternatives. Why not be a kept pet for a while, you know? Least I wouldn’t have to worry about money for once.” Steve shook his head, picking off a fuzz from his blanket to avoid looking at Bucky.

“Gilmore was always kind of a dick, but a charming one I guess? He knew how to piss me off and use it to his advantage. I have a temper so it kind of worked? We’d just — get pissed off, blow off steam, and it’d be fine. Except whenever I got sick he’d get frustrated about how useless I was. I didn’t really notice he’d started isolating me from people I knew until it was too late. I was on the wrong side of town, I didn’t know anyone, and everything I had was in his name and it just kind of happened overnight.” He felt like he should have noticed it sooner, should have seen the signs. He didn’t think he was stupid, but looking back, how could he not be?

“My heats were always hit or miss, and the docs said my chances for pregnancy were low to nill anyway. So usually I just waited to take a pregnancy shot at the first sign of a heat instead of needing anything stronger. But the last time...It just came out of nowhere and I hadn’t been able to pick up my script yet because I had just gotten over a bad fever. Gilmore always had strong ruts and — fuck, just a whiff of me in heat would trigger him. He wasn’t even supposed to be back from work yet. I told him I’d just go get the fuckin’ shot but he just kept...on and wouldn’t let me fuckin’ leave.” Steve nibbled half-heartedly at another block of chocolate, staring at the coffee table.

“Gilmore during rut was kinda like how I imagine fuckin’ a pissed off tiger would be like.”, he smirked dryly, “And not in the good way.” He always bruised like a peach, but he still had scars from Gilmore’s blunted claws and fangs.

Bucky just listened for a while, grateful that his scent-blockers were doing their job or else Steve might feel like he got pepper-sprayed and it wasn't his fault.

Rubbing his hands over his face Bucky tried to keep up a calm demeanor, despite the fury and resentment regarding Gilmore raging inside him. Steve had been pretty open, but at the same time sugar coated what could only be described as rape.

Gilmore's rut or the intensity of it wasn't an excuse, though Bucky had read a lot of newspaper articles in his life to know that in front of a court the judge would give the Alpha the benefit of the doubt, let them get away with crimes because they hadn't been able to control themselves. Bullshit. He'd faced Steve during his rut and while his instincts had screamed at him to mate with an Omega he hadn't taken advantage of the situation and the fact that Steve didn't stand a chance against him.

"I hope you'll never have to see him again and I hope I'll never get to know him, because I'd punch out his fucking molars." Bucky growled after lowering his hands to his lap. He'd known that the baby wasn't planned, but hearing under which circumstances Steve had conceived her made him feel sick.

Steve was thankful that Bucky wasn’t going off on a tangent. The ‘How could you allow that?’ or ‘You knew he was abusive, right?’. Things he might have thought before he’d gotten tangled with Gilmore. Shit like that was so easy to say when you weren’t the one experiencing it firsthand. Those kinds of people...they just folded you into their gravity so fast you didn’t even realize you were trapped until it was too late.

“You and me both, I can think of a few creative spots I’d punch,” Steve smirked, rubbing his stomach in slow, soothing sweeps. The kid was kicking up a fuss, no doubt from Steve’s anxious state of mind. It was almost kind of nice, knowing she was there. He might loathe half her DNA, but the other half of her was pure Rogers and he fully expected that would cancel out the suck of Gilmore’s bloodline plenty.

"Steve, I can't promise that I won't get upset, that we'll never have another fight, but I promise, rut or not, I'll never hurt you or the baby. No hormones could fuck me up badly enough to act like that."

He let out a slow, measured breath, hands stilling. Finally, he looked up at Bucky, a gentle smile smoothing over his lips.”I know. I knew all Alphas couldn’t be that awful, but it’s kind of like being in the middle of a dark ocean and feeling a fin. Could be a dolphin, could be a shark.” 

Folding up the remains of his chocolate bar on the table, Steve sat back.”I trust you, I do. I mean no offense Buck, but I thought you were a beefy Omega for the longest time because of your personality and — you know, mothering.” He teased, trying to smooth them away from the heavy topic. There was no use dwelling on it right now when there was nothing he could do to change it.

"S'fine you aren't the first to call me out for the hen I am." Bucky huffed in amusement at Steve's wording.

"I think my ma conditioned me by giving me three Omega sisters and always telling me to look out for them. Like I'm pretty sure she gave me sweets if I did well?" His parents made a point of not treating him like their favorite, despite being their only Alpha child. He hadn't gotten more pocket money or had a longer curfew. Therefore, he didn't feel the urge to act aloof or use his second gender to put his sisters into place.

"So now I'm a sugar addict and have a protective streak." Bucky lamented with a grin, getting a hold of their plates since it was definitely his turn to do the dishes.

Overthinking things could be a bitch. Steve wasn’t sure why he’d been worried. What had he expected Bucky to do? Misplaced therapy him? Bucky had been a constant support from the beginning of this train wreck and Steve felt like an asshole for not trusting him. He understood how Bucky thought he couldn’t tell him, since Steve, admittedly, probably wouldn’t have been as forthright with him had he known. Alphas were still a shaky territory for him, but he was glad he knew one that broke the mold.

“Makes you easy to please, I’ll remember that come Christmas.” Steve chortled, fully intending on baking Bucky an entire goddamn cake. Or maybe make up for that promised apple pie.

"Relax, I got this. Rest your feet." Bucky told Steve who looked like he was about to get up and waddle around again.

Steve, predictably, pouted as Bucky got up to do the dishes. He didn’t fight for it, because his feet were firmly ‘barking’ at this point and he was very comfortable in his blanket nest.

"I haven't sent out invites yet, but I wanted to do a little pre-Christmas dinner at my place, just with the people in the building I'm close with. Thought I could try to cook a big bird and everyone brings a little side dish. What do you think?"

“That’d be sweet.” That warm, contented feeling started to return as Steve shifted to look over the couch to watch Bucky in the kitchen.”I’d say I’d bring something traditionally Irish from my Ma’s cookbook but most Christmas stuff contains about a pint of either Guinness or Whiskey.” Thinking about making rum-filled bread pudding made Steve pat his belly with a wistful sigh. 

"Christmas must be a very joyful event for your folks." Bucky remarked in amusement, envisioning everyone being drunk at the end of the evening. Truth to be told his family wasn't any better after emptying a few bottles of self-made eggnog. It usually happened the day before Christmas when they baked and decorated cookies together.

“Who knows,” Steve shook his head slightly, half wishing he knew. These days he was starting to wonder if that half of his family would really shun him. That maybe it had been time enough. He wanted...he wanted to know what it was like to have a family. 

“...Would you mind inviting Mrs. Young? She goes to bed early but I think it’d really make her holiday.” Steve asked, holding the edge of the quilt in his hands. ”Her wife died five years back I think? Don’t know if you lived here that long, but they’ve lived here forever, so she tells me.”

"The elderly lady from the first floor?" Bucky asked to make sure they're talking about the same person. He'd only met her in the hallway, helping her with her groceries a few times, but she didn't show up to a lot of their neighbor gatherings.

Pushing those thoughts away, Steve nodded.”Yeah, she’s an Alpha, I met her at the bbq and she’s been real sweet to me. All her kids are grown and moved to the other side of the planet.” Steve didn’t have any family, and hers was so far away, it was nice to sit down sometimes and just fulfill a quiet need. 

“She gave me this quilt and the big blanket on my bed.” 

"Man, that sucks." At least Steve and her had found each other when being in similar situations. “I only moved in around two years ago, so I didn’t know her wife, but she's welcome." Bucky told him, since one more person wouldn't matter, especially an old lady who didn't eat much. It was nice of Steve wanting to include her and it sounded like they had some conversations.

Steve brightened, “Thanks Buck, it means a lot to me and I know it will for her too.”

"A penny for every time you're thanking me." Bucky shook his head, simply not used to this amount of gratitude.

Returning to the couch after finishing the dishes Bucky let out a content sigh, with his belly being full and Steve's lingering sweet scent.

"How's the little one doing? Still giving you a hard time?" Bucky asked while glancing at Steve's baby bump. It was impressive that Steve could still stand up and move around at all.

Pulling up his shirt a little, Steve looked down at his spherical belly with a small smirk. ”Active. Don’t know where she’s getting all the energy when she’s tiring me out.” He grumbled, “Doc says that I’ll probably have to be induced early — But I’m going to try not to. I was so premature and god knows this kid is probably going to get a boatload of my problems. She needs all the help she can get.”

"Guess in the end it's up to her...can I touch?" Bucky asked, not wanting to assume that just because Steve let him feel her moving once meant he could feel up his stomach whenever he wanted to. Only when he got permission did he lightly place his palm over Steve's belly button. 

"I think she's excited for the Christmas party." Bucky claimed when sensing movement, still oddly fascinated by the feeling. He hoped there wouldn't be any complications and that against all odds she was going to be a healthy, happy baby.

They watched a movie of Steve's choice this time and when Bucky went to bed that night he didn't feel as lonely anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the big revelation! Hope y'all still enjoying the constant ups and downs. Wouldn't be slow burn if we didn't threw a bunch of boulders into their way of achieving happiness hh


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're officially halfway through the story! 🎉  
> Short but sweet chapter this time with lots of Christmas smoop awaiting you...

The pre-Christmas party preparations were in full swing. Bucky had gotten up at the asscrack of dawn to defrost the turkey and rearrange the living room. He'd built two makeshift tables to add to the one he already had, so there'd be enough space to sit comfortably for everyone. And he’d asked Steve to sew him a tablecloth that would hide the mismatching wood colors beneath. There wasn't a lot of open space left despite the couch being pushed up against the wall, but they should all fit in without trampling each other.

Making himself a little breakfast he decided to start with the filling while waiting for his ma to call him via video chat. She'd offered to help him with the turkey and getting the spices right, because this was new territory and Bucky didn't want to serve his friends an inedible main course.

The green phone popped up on the screen of his laptop, and Bucky quickly adjusted the screen, so the camera wouldn't just face his chest before accepting the call.

"Hey ma, how's it going?” He greeted her with a wide smile. They chatted like this at least once per month to catch up with each other's lives. It was nice to be able to see her face instead of just hearing her voice over a speaker.

One apartment over, for the first time in a while, Steve was looking forward to something in the holiday season. Bucky’s party would literally be his highlight, but he was thankful for it nonetheless. He did decide to wait until after Bucky got back from his family to give him his Christmas present, not wanting to spoil it so early. Besides, the present had multiple parts. 

He didn’t get up quite as early as Bucky, but only because he’d gotten a few things made up the night before.

Steve hummed a Christmas song to himself, unable to remember the words. He pulled the third pie from the oven, satisfied with how they turned out. He’d made one apple for Bucky, one pumpkin, and a chess pie. Steve also made up some dough for rolls, but he wasn’t going to make those until closer to the party. 

Steve pulled off his apron and ran his fingers through his hair, unaware that he had a stray smudge of flour on his cheek. He loaded up two reusable grocery bags with two of the pies, and carried the other one in his arms as he made his way over to Bucky’s. It had already been established that he’d be in and out to help Bucky with the party set up, so he let himself in. 

By now Bucky had officially handed Steve his spare key, in case he accidentally locked himself out of his flat or if Steve just needed something, and he wasn't around. Today he'd simply left his door ajar, knowing who he could expect and being here all day anyway.

“I’ve got the pies done, but I gotta — “ Steve immediately shut up when he walked into the kitchen as he heard a second voice, though a quick inspection revealed Bucky was on a video call. 

He mouthed a quiet ‘sorry’, and set the first pie down.

Looking up from his current task, Bucky heard Steve enter the apartment. He was quick to put down the knife and help him with the pies. "Christ, you've outdone yourself, Stevie. One would've been enough!" He complained with a light huff. Upon noticing the flour on his friend's face he just reached out without thinking and brushed the powder away with the pad of his thumb.

Steve shot Bucky an incredulous look. It was plain insulting to his culture to even suggest such a thing. Bring only one piddly pie to a get together? Hardly. He lived right next door and Bucky was his best friend, he wasn’t going to leave Bucky to do everything himself.

His stomach fluttered when Bucky reached up to brush away the flour, the heat of Bucky’s hand briefly warming his cheek. Between feeling the baby kick, jostling each other on the couch, and this, they’d been sharing more casual touch between them that was...nice. Better than Steve wanted to admit.

"Jamie? Who's your guest?" Bucky could hear his mum question (curious as ever) from the kitchen counter where the laptop was. Bucky was pretty sure she knew who's with him since he'd mention Steve...a few times in their conversations before, but she was probably eager to put a face to the stories she'd heard.

"Steve, meet my ma. She's helping me with the cooking and makes sure I'm not messing up." He guided Steve to the kitchen before introducing him.

Steve’s scent spiked hard with the electric tang of metal. He didn’t know why interacting with people’s parents made him anxious as hell, but he was going to chock it up to a life filled with less than stellar interactions. Either parents hadn’t wanted their kids catching his colds, being around his ‘influence’, not to mention Gilmore’s parents had outright hated him. The last thing he wanted Bucky’s parents to do was hate him.

Bucky could smell that Steve was nervous to be faced with his mum so suddenly, but honestly he had nothing to worry about. He'd only had good things to say about him and Bucky was certain that his ma was going to like Steve.

"Nice to finally meet you Steve! I'm Winnifred, but you can call me Winnie. Jamie told me you're a great cook yourself! Maybe we can trade some pie recipes." Winnie offered with a warm smile that made the corners of her eyes crinkle.

“Hi Mrs Barn — Winnifr — Winnie,” Steve internally groaned. Great first impression. ”Nice to meet you.” He held up a hand with a nervous smile.

"I think the two of you in one kitchen would be too powerful." Bucky remarked with a grin, continuing to cut carrots and onions for the sauce.

“Pretty sure he’s overselling my skills, but lately I’ve had a lot of time to practice.” Steve chuckled lightly. ” Get to use him as a guinea pig for all the dessert recipes the baby craves.” Not that he’d heard any complaints out of Bucky.

“All my good recipes I owe to my ma’s cookbook, honestly.”, Steve remarked humbly.

"Don't listen to him, he's selling himself shorter than he already is." Bucky teased Steve over his statement, trying to ease the atmosphere with some light banter.

Bucky knew how to push his buttons, and a short joke would get him every time. 

Steve puffed, metaphorical feathers ruffling as he reached back to briefly swat Bucky’s arm.”Keep talkin’ and see if I bake you anymore pies.” He challenged, quickly drawn back by Winnie’s keen ear. 

"Being small just means you're reduced to the essentials." Bucky returned to stroking Steve's ego, though the mischievous smirk stayed on his lips.

"Am I hearing an Irish accent? We've got a couple next door who came from Dublin. Mary makes a mean lamb stew, but she refuses to tell me her special ingredient.” Winnie went on, making Bucky roll his eyes in the background. 

“My ma was full-Irish, it comes out sometimes,” The ‘when I’m annoyed’ was implied. “I’ll put her stew up against anyone from Dublin.” Steve smiled, enjoying the ease in which Bucky and Winnie interacted. It wasn’t at all like the stiff interactions he’d seen between Gilmore and his mother. It was more like the relationship he used to have with his own mother. “But I guarantee the secret ingredient will always be Guinness.”

"Ma, stop interrogating him for family secrets." As if she didn't have a whole shelf in the kitchen dedicated to her own family's hand-written receipts. She's just hoarding them and there's no way his sisters or himself were ever gonna read through all of them.

"I'm just making small talk!", she defended herself. "But of course we can talk about something non-food related. How about an embarrassing story from Jamie's childhood. I've got tons of those."

"Ma, I swear, I'm gonna shut down the laptop!" Bucky threatened her, his face flushing despite her having even started yet.

Steve’s eyes sharpened and he waved Bucky off,”No no, let your mother talk.” He shot Bucky a teasing look over his shoulder.

”You’ve witnessed me growing a literal human being and all the fun that goes with it, let me have one embarrassing story to even the odds a little.” He could only imagine the cute stories ‘Jamie’ had from childhood being not only the only Alpha, but male child as well.

"You told me Steve is your new best friend. I'm sure he won't think any less of you knowing that you preferred wearing dresses over pants because they're more comfy." Winnie spilled the ancient beans, making Bucky feel embarrassed nevertheless. 

This was a roller coaster of emotions. Lemon-sugar bursts surrounded Steve upon hearing Bucky also referred to him as a best friend. He’d never had a best friend before, which was pretty sad considering he was a fully grown man, no matter how many short-jokes Bucky wanted to make.

"I was three years old!" Bucky justified his questionable fashion choices back then. By the look on Steve's face he's most likely pictured him in a dress right now and effectively destroying the bit of Alpha vibes Bucky still got going for himself.

"You were five and got into a fight with Becca over her favorite sunflower dress." His ma thought this was the perfect moment to provide more details. 

"Lies. Don't believe a single word she says!"

"I've got photographic evidence."

"I'm gonna set your photo albums on fire when I come over."

"Thanks for the warning, I'm gonna make sure to hide them, sunshine." She informed him with a sickly sweet smile.

Steve’s pleasant scent only doubled down when coupled with the gift that was imagining little Bucky in a dress. He didn’t have his head stuck on gender roles in clothing, he usually had to wear ‘women’s’ petites considering his size, and Omega clothing was far more lenient than other genders...Still. Bucky. Jeans-and-boots-wearing Buck in a dress.

“You’ve just made my holiday.” Steve snickered wickedly, shooting Bucky a look that said ‘Oh we’re revisiting this’. 

“I would love to see any pictures of baby-Buck,” Steve added with an impish grin. He reached up to flick a lock of Bucky’s hair, ”With your hair and eyes I’m sure you could pull it off.” He added, patting Bucky’s shoulder ‘reassuringly’.

"You're welcome. I'll leave you two to your dinner preparations. Remember what I told you about the glaze." Winnie directed towards her son, waving at both of them before ending the call and a part of Bucky was relieved that she wasn't going to tattle any more childhood stories.

Steve waved, none of the metal notes remaining in his scent. Bucky’s mother was about what he expected from someone that raised him. He figured whoever raised an Alpha like Bucky had to be a good woman, and he was sure of that out of the rest of Bucky’s family as well. Bucky...he was good people, and Steve felt fortunate to know him.

Bucky waved back, despite the grumpy look on his face. "Damn right, I looked gorgeous." He decided that it was easier to play along instead of pretending to be overly riled up about wearing dresses as a kid. Somehow being ribbed didn't feel so bad when it came out of Steve's mouth. His teasing words were always accompanied by a sunny smile, making it hard for Bucky to hold a grudge.

"Alright, I hope you've enjoyed yourself 'cause you won't get any more dirt on me this year, and we still have to set up the table. Work your magic, Steve." Bucky prompted, so they'd be done in time. Mostly he needed Steve distracted and out of the kitchen to be able to try a piece of pie crust.

“Shameless, working a poor little Omega to the bone.” Steve smirked, barely able to contain his grin as he walked out into the living room. He didn’t have much longer on his feet in him, but as long as he sat and took small breaks he could keep going for a little while yet. ‘Pacing’ was something he was trying to get the hang of with various levels of success. 

"Would earn me another punch calling you that." Bucky remarked with a snort, but he actually planned to let Steve rest on his couch while he filled the turkey and peeled potatoes.

“I’ve still got the roll-dough at my place, all they need to do is be shaped and popped in the oven, but I figure that should be near last.” Steve said over his shoulder as he started setting the tables up.

"Sounds good." Bucky approved, feeling like they're doing a pretty good job so far. Nothing was on fire, they had plenty of dessert and several hours left until their friends were going to arrive.

“Your mom is nice, by the way.”

"It's the Barnes charm and you're totally falling for it." Bucky noted with a smug smirk. "...you could meet her, the whole family if you wanted to." He went on more seriously. He'd talked to his parents about the option of bringing Steve along on their Christmas weekend and celebrating together. His ma was easy to convince, and they'd expected him to have a plus one anyway, just...not Steve. Plans had changed like his relationship status and it might seem unusual to bring a friend, but it was also uncommon not having anyone to spend the holidays with.

Steve was about to say what exactly he thought of ‘The Barnes charm’ when Bucky had to go and drop a bomb on him. He fumbled a tablecloth and let it drift gracelessly into a heap on the last table. He turned to Bucky, not sure if he meant in the future, or — Steve definitely wanted to meet Bucky’s family, but he wasn’t all that sure how. Didn’t Bucky say they lived in — 

"I've two tickets to Iowa." Bucky said, facing Steve to gauge his reaction. He’d bought them early for himself and Dot, but, well…life wasn’t predictable.

Steve blinked owlishly, trying to wrap his head around what Bucky was asking. “When?” He blurted dumbly, despite his brain supplying him with the obvious. There was no way Bucky was asking him along for Christmas. That was ridiculous. Yeah, they were best friends, but like in the way adults were best friends. People didn’t cart around their friends on holidays, did they?

That said nothing of the obvious why Bucky had two tickets instead of one, and that was a line of thought Steve didn’t want to address with a ten-foot pole after Julio’s revelations.

"Christmas." Bucky confirmed Steve's growing suspicion, sensing that the invitation was quite a shock for him. Truth to be told Bucky had never invited any of his friends to spend time with his family and him during the holidays, but that's because they all had their own family waiting for them.

Steve plopped himself down in one of the chairs. Bucky couldn’t just drop this on him in casual conversation. This felt like the equivalence of being asked to be a part of someone’s life that...he guessed really would make them best friends.

Bucky had been to pregnancy checkups with him. That stupid class as an icebreaker. Bucky was privy to so much about his life, and Steve guessed he was to Bucky as well after the break up. Now that Dot was gone they were free to come and go as they please, stealing snacks, watching shitty television, and just being friends (despite what the gossiping neighbors thought).

"I know you said you didn't mind spending Christmas here by yourself..." Maybe Steve would invite Mrs. Young over, and they'd have dinner together, have a relaxed evening and Bucky was worried over nothing, but he couldn't help it. The image of Steve all alone during the holidays didn't sit right with him.

Warmth bloomed with equal measure of anxiety at his core. ”You don’t gotta do that Buck if you’re just worried about me spending Christmas alone. I have since my mom died and I’m okay.” Steve started, not wanting Bucky to fuss on him for fussing’s sake.

"I'm not asking out of pity, but because it'd make me happy to have you there with me." Bucky admitted, while looking down at the napkins he folded into simple triangles.

"Just think about it ’s all I'm asking. We would be happy to have you." Leaving Brooklyn and New York behind for a few days might be a good change of scenery for both of them. Especially for Steve who had been kept like a pet in Gilmore's home. This was his chance to go out and get some new impressions, something he could use as inspiration for his sketches.

Hell, Bucky could come up with a thousand reasons and excuses why Steve should tag along, but when it came down to it he wanted his company. He'd just been afraid to say it out loud and make it sound like he was trying to romance Steve. A filler for the gap Dot had left behind. That's the opposite of what he needed.

“I’ll...I’ll think about it. I have to see if they’re let me off work first.” Steve couldn’t believe he was giving this serious thought. Would the Barnes household really not mind if he tagged along?

"Okay, just let me know what they say." Bucky returned, trying not to get his hopes up too much already. Yet Steve hadn't outright told him no, so that must mean something. Just because Steve was used to spending the holidays by himself didn't mean he genuinely enjoyed the time.

He finished setting the table and brought Steve a glass of water, not expecting him to get back up. There wasn't a lot of preparing left he could help him with, and they still had enough time. The radio played the usual Christmas songs, in fact he'd heard Last Christmas back in October for the first time.

For once, Steve was glad that his natural pregnancy scent already smelled like the holidays. Hopefully Bucky wouldn’t pick up on how happy it made him just to hear that Bucky wanted him there. Even if it turned out to be a split between friendship and worry, Steve was already resolved to begging the branch-head for the days off. He’d be missing out on holiday overtime, but for Bucky it was damn worth it. 

Steve felt an hour before the party to take a shower while the rolls baked. Even if his scent would largely be covered by the delicious smell of food, he wanted to wash off and start fresh for everyone’s sake. 

He grinned as he tugged on the truly hideous Christmas sweater he’d found at a thrift store when looking for things for the baby. It was big on him, of course, with little Christmas elves and a puff-ball Christmas tree. He bypassed jeans for leggings since they were easier with the back-support sling.

The first guest trickled in a few hours later and Bucky greeted them with friendly smiles and hugs. Almost everyone commented on how much better he looked, and they surely weren’t just referring to his fresh haircut, which made him wonder in what kind of shape he must have been. Well, he had skipped shaving for a few...weeks after the breakup and his hair had been out of control.

Anyway, Bucky was feeling much better now, and he'd changed into an actual dress shirt with little reindeer on it. Dot would've called it corny, but he didn't have to dress to her liking anymore.

Steve hurried back, snickering at Bucky’s own Christmas-y shirt. They looked like idiots, but it was the season for it.

Mrs Young arrived and Steve hugged her warmly. The woman was in her eighties but dressed smartly in a dark red blouse, black hand-knit shawl edged in gold, and a long black skirt to match. As soon as she had Steve in her arms she kissed the top of his head and patted him warmly.

“Smells divine in here,” She commented, eyes trailing up to Bucky as she lifted a weathered hand in greeting. Her natural scent had dimmed with age, but she still smelled of old books, scotch, and a hint of cherry.

"Matching outfits, huh?", Dan couldn't help noticing after greeting their hosts. The invitation came from Bucky, but it was obvious that Steve had helped him out. 

"Dressed appropriately for the season." Bucky replied with a shrug, grinning whenever he looked at Steve's ugly sweater and waved back at Mrs Young.

"Sit wherever you like and lemme know what you want to drink." He prompted his guests, making sure everyone had a filled glass. Hot chocolate for the little ones who couldn't drink wine with little marshmallows on top of which he'd also eaten ‘a few’. From time to time he walked into the kitchen to check on the oven and various pots, praying that the turkey was going to taste as good as it looked on the outside.

Seeing Dan and Julio’s kids playing on the rug, others milling around, laughing, sharing drinks. It wasn’t like any holiday gathering Steve had ever been to before. He and his mother had moved around too much to get to know too many of their neighbors, and even then people had largely kept to themselves due to the crime rate. This — this was a gift all its own. 

Steve fixed himself a hot chocolate while Julio poured himself a glass of wine, the only one he’d allow himself for the night which he lamented with a dramatic sigh. Mrs Young also had a glass of wine, hers not as modest as Steve would have liked, but she just winked at him when he cocked his eyebrow. 

It didn’t take Steve long to park himself from moving around with both Mrs Young and Julio giving him eyes. The turkey was beautiful, not that he doubted Mrs Barnes’ advice in the least. His stomach growled in anticipation.

When everyone had gathered around the makeshift table Bucky carried over the main dish, drawing everyone's attention. He'd hoped to just go over to cutting and eating, but Julio that damn troublemaker called for a toast. Raising his glass with mock exasperation Bucky wasn't a man to talk big in general and feeling fully unprepared, so he's just gonna pull something out of his snug sleeves.

"Thanks again for showing up. It's the first event of this kind and I hope everyone's gonna have a good time...the last few months have been pretty rough for me, but I've landed back on my feet and I wanted to thank all of you for looking out for me. Cheers." He quickly finished before he could get emotional and took a sip from his wine.

Steve hid a smile in his cocoa after toasting with him proud of Bucky more than he could say. Dot leaving had surprised them all, but none more than Bucky. Still, Bucky had come a long way.

“You’ve been busy,” Julio clucked, impressed. “And a snazzy haircut.” He winked at Bucky, tittering quietly as he leaned into his husband. Everyone knew that getting a haircut or restyle was a hall-mark of a breakup, but he hadn’t expected Bucky to bounce back so quickly. Granted, considering the eyes Bucky and Steve were making at each other, it wasn’t hard to figure out why.

"Not even finished your first glass and already hittin' on me, Julio?" Bucky responded with an easygoing grin. "Yeah, it's time for a little makeover." He remarked, unconsciously running his fingers through the shortened bangs. For now the loose waves were tamed with a bit of pomade.

Fetching himself one of Steve's bread rolls, a chunk of turkey and gravy he dug into the food. Bucky was pleased with the result even if it didn't taste exactly like his ma's cooking. 

"Real good!", he let Steve know, lifting the bread before taking another bite. There's more than enough food for everyone and Bucky didn't doubt he's the leftovers would feed him for a few more days.

Steve pointedly ignored the look Julio shot him when his scent quivered with contentment after Bucky’s compliment. He was just happy people liked it, dammit! Mrs Young liked his contributions too, so Julio could shove it. Life wasn’t one of Julio’s telenovelas even if sometimes there were parallels. Sometimes.

“Back at you,” Steve gestured towards his plate. It was still less food than everyone else, but he’d managed more than just a child’s portion like he had before. 

Bucky switched to water after two glasses of wine, not wanting to end up getting drunk at his own party, especially after the last incident.

The kids were a lot more enthusiastic about Steve's pies than the greens they'd partly left on their plates, which was understandable. Bucky preferred them as well, eating two slices despite his pants feeling a size too small by now.

It was somewhere in the middle of his piece of pumpkin pie Steve finally got the nerve to ask Mrs Young about her plans.

“Going to Florida!” Mrs Young announced with a triumphant smile. ”Me and some of the girls from my poker club decided we’re tired of the cold. So we’re packin’ up and going to take in some sun at Loni’s son’s condo.” She bobbed her dark gray brows. ”See what trouble we can get into.”

Steve laughed in delight as Julio muttered a quiet ‘Por Dios’. ”You better come back with a tan and shells.” He replied fondly, glad that the old woman wasn’t going to be sitting alone in her apartment. 

Bucky totally wasn't switching from listening to the conversation to his left to eavesdrop on Steve's and Mrs Young's conversation. It just happened naturally and oh well, this meant that Steve didn't have to feel guilty for going with him to Iowa if his friend had planned their vacation already.

Steve’s eyes trailed to Bucky, a flutter of anticipation brewing in the pit of his stomach. He really could take off and go with Bucky then. If he could work it out with his job, It might be the first Christmas he’d had in a long while with someone he considered himself close to.

Their eyes met and Bucky smiled back at Steve. They hadn't reached the stage where they could read each other's mind yet, but he's pretty sure the look Steve was giving him was hopeful.

Of course that's when Mrs Young became curious about Steve's plans for the holidays and Bucky felt like Dan and Julio were way too invested in the answer, considering that they even stopped eating their cake. He tried to busy himself by chasing down the last few crumbs on his plate. 

There'd be rumors if their neighbors found out about Bucky's invitation to take Steve with him to meet his parents. He's just worried the gossip might make Steve uneasy or question his intentions. So what if he sometimes had mixed feelings for Steve? They're an unmated Omega and Alpha, which automatically led to some kind of tension, but it didn't mean they couldn't simply stay friends.

Fuck. Right. The question. Steve’s eyes darted to Bucky again as he contemplated what he was going to say, conscious of the eyes on him.”I don’t know yet, I have to see if I’m working first.” He offered with a dismissive grin, ignoring the pointed look Julio was sending him. It was like Julio had psychic gossip abilities sometimes. There was no way this was going to stay secret.

The night went better than they could have hoped. It was great to hang out, eat, and laugh with the people he’d come to know in the apartment complex, and a few he wasn’t that familiar with that Bucky knew. It felt like he had some place he belonged. People that saw him and greeted him with a friendly smile. That wanted him to be a part of their life and vice versa. 

And yeah, Julio’s daughter Maria spilled cocoa on his sweater, and he found out that today was a no-cheese day and had to take a few minutes to breathe through a punch of nausea. But, all in all, the night was beautiful.


	13. Chapter 13

It wasn’t that big of a surprise to find out the call center basically operated on a skeleton crew over the holidays and he’d been opted out because of his pregnancy anyway. Which left him with a whole new problem.

What the fuck was he bringing to Bucky’s parents?

He worried the entire week leading up to the trip, and even until their butts were planted in the plane’s seats. 

“Was it too traditional to bring wine? Is it weird?” Steve fretted as he wiggled around in his seat, adjusting the seat belt so it wasn’t pressing on his bladder, but it was a lost cause. Traveling while pregnant wasn’t going to be comfortable no matter how much he tried.

"Alcohol is always a great gift." Bucky assured Steve for the third time without losing an ounce of patience. He's sitting by the window, so Steve had easier access to the aisle and restroom. They're supposed to be in the air for around four hours and there weren't any snowstorms, which hopefully meant a smooth ride. 

His dad had offered to pick them up from the airport, meaning his ma was probably still busy decorating and cleaning up the house. Once the plane got airborne Bucky leaned back to let Steve take a look outside, the plane breaking through the barrier of fluffy clouds. They headed straight for the sundown, which was an even more mesmerizing view from up above.

One of the stewardesses took a liking to Steve upon noticing his baby bump, bringing him a blanket and a snack. Bucky only got a free drink like everyone else, but he wasn't going to complain. Especially because his bladder could handle a small bottle of water without having to empty itself on an hourly basis. Now he wasn't going to tell Steve, or he might get punched in the bladder, but it looked kinda adorable when he waddled down the narrow aisle.

Now that he was grossly pregnant and being ‘escorted’(to the outside eye) Steve was a little startled at how well people treated him. People moved around him like he was something to handle with care instead of brushing by. The kind stewardess made sure he was comfortable despite him assuring her he was fine(he wasn’t, but it was awkward). Granted, having something to nibble on after he made the stupid mistake of looking out of the window was deeply appreciated.

He probably should have told Bucky he’d never flown before. 

The ride was a little overwhelming. Between the combined smells, being in a flying tin can, and being the size of a blimp, Steve felt a little jarred by the time they touched down. Being able to stretch his feet was a blessing, even if he had to pop a couple of pills before they met Bucky’s father. 

Bucky carried both their bags after minor discussions they made it to the entrance hall where Bucky quickly spotted his dad, waving at them. His short-cropped hair turned more gray every time he visited, but his hugs hadn't turned any less firm and it was a good thing he merely shook Steve's hand in greeting.

"Glad you're joining us, I hope the flight wasn't too stressful." He directed at Steve, taking one of the bags and led them to a jeep past its prime parking outside.

“It was — very new.” Steve chuckled as he followed after the two Barnes. ”Thank you for having me.” Because his mother had drilled manners into him with the threat of a wooden spoon if he didn’t. 

Steve smiled to himself when he compared Bucky with his father. The similarities were stark once they were side by side, though Steve thought Bucky probably favored his mother a lot in the face. Bucky had a pretty edge to his handsomeness. Not that he’d say it out loud, Bucky would get a big head if he did.

Much to his embarrassment he needed a little assistance to get into the jeep, since he was both short and round.

He had a brief moment of panic when he remembered he was ‘broadcasting’ and he direly hoped Bucky had warned his family that he was natural scented right now. He made a conscious effort to mellow himself out, especially since they were in an enclosed space. The plane’s filtration system had kept his scent ventilated, but older model cars didn’t have the scent-neutralizers that the new ones did.

"First flight? Must be very exciting and probably a bit scary too. I've heard the explanation why these metal birds can fly so many times, but it's still somewhat unnatural. I prefer to stay close to earth." Bucky’s father stated, giving the steering wheel a little tap.

"In a metal can that's as old as me?" Bucky remarked with a chuckle, knowing very well how often his dad had to fix the engine. One day it would fall apart, hopefully not while he's driving and then he'd finally get a new vehicle. 

"You wanna walk?" George replied without missing a beat.

"Nah, I trust the driver to get us safely back home." Bucky returned with a grin, fiddling with the knobs of the radio. 

Steve tried not to laugh at Bucky and his father’s good-natured squabbles but it was hard not to. The ease between the two men was so foreign to him but pleasant because of it. He’d never gotten to have any favorable interactions with men as a father figure, uncle, or otherwise. When he was young he’d longed for it, but the older he grew the more he admired his mother for fulfilling any and all roles in his life. She’d been his warrior, a strong, fierce woman that had fought tooth and nail until the day she died.

Two hours later poor Steve must've figured out why Bucky's middle name was Buchanan. His dad was a giant history nerd and had a lot to say about politics as well. Iowa had both Democratic and Republican parties, but luckily his family was on the democratic side.

Steve did feel guilty for making them stop twice in such a short period of time, but he figured if Mr Barnes had four kids he had to understand the plight of a pregnant person’s bladder from his wife. It wasn’t like he could exactly limit his liquids either. 

As they pulled up, Steve leaned against the window with a child-like gasp of wonder. The house was beautiful and just like the houses his mother had taken him to see. Lit up by lights and looking like the homes in Christmas movies. 

"Here we are...I hope you like figurines, Steve." George huffed at the sight of the house being illuminated by strings of light and several small snowmen on each step of the stairs towards the front porch.

“You have a beautiful home.” Steve remarked to Mr Barnes as he wiggled a little from his seat. He had to hook his hand into Bucky’s to get him out of the car in the end. He’d just accepted the fact that he was going to be increasingly dependent on needing help to do certain things if they wanted to get into the house any time soon on this trip.

His nerves returned in spades faced with the house that was no doubt filled with the rest of Bucky’s family. Not for the first time he wondered what the hell he was doing here and how he’d let Bucky convince him to tag along.

"You look like you're about to run the other way." Bucky mentioned quietly with a faint smile, because yeah fat chance of Steve making it to the end of the road before being out of breath. "No need to be nervous. You're invited and my ma is really excited to meet you in person." He reminded , not doubting that his sisters were pretty curious about their special guest too. 

Maybe he should've told Steve that his siblings weren't taking full scent-blockers like him, only dampening their natural smells to a 'socially acceptable' level, but it was something he's so used to that it hadn't occurred to him to point it out beforehand.

Bucky had no business being that nice all the time. His system was confused enough without the added mix of a nice Alpha, which was a rarity in his opinion. He was glad that Bucky was on scent blockers, or else they’d probably run into more embarrassing situations.

Bolstered by both Bucky’s warm words and hand, Steve followed his best friend into the house where the scent of fresh-baked deliciousness and a well-loved home settled into his nose. 

Helping Steve out of the car, Bucky let his hand linger on his lower back when they climbed the stairs, just to make sure he wasn't going to slip. His ma must've heard the car's engine or peeked out of the window, because she pulled the door open when his dad just fished out the keys.

"There you are!" She greeted them enthusiastically, ushering everyone inside the warm house. Bucky didn't even get the chance to pull off his shoes before his ma was hugging him and messing with his carefully styled hair. "This style is much more flattering." She commented with an approving smile.

"Because it looks more like the haircut that you used to give me?", Bucky returned dryly, though he couldn't prevent his lips from mirroring her expression.

"One day you're gonna realize that I'm always right, dear."

"And it's gonna save you a lot of arguments.” George added, quickly disappearing into the living room.

Winnie’s now-familiar voice greeted them, and Steve hid a snicker behind his hand as Bucky and his mother shared twin looks. Winnie was a spit-fire, and he thought his ma and her would have gotten along famously. It probably would have spelt doom for everyone else, but his ma had never had enough friends she spent time with in Steve’s opinion.

"Steve, I'm glad you could find the time." Winnie redirected her attention, wrapping him in a loose embrace as well. "Now we're complete. Let's catch up with the rest of the bunch." 

Steve felt his insides flutter with an odd mix of emotions as Winnie pulled him into a careful hug. He embraced her back. ”Thank you for having me.”, he repeated what he told Mr Barnes while trying not to let his scent leak all over the place.

Bucky had already shown Steve pictures of his sisters and told him their names, not expecting him to memorize everyone during their first introduction. Especially since half of them had a plus one.

From the living room a loud, ”Bucky! Get your butt in here and whoop Alice!” Becca shouted, butt firmly planted by the youngest Barne’s sibling as they looked to be playing an intense game of Mario Kart. 

“Not my fault you’ve lost your touch.” Alice replied cheekily as she neatly deposited a banana-peel right in front of Becca’s car.

"I've made a resolution not to whoop ass on Christmas, but I guess I can make an exception for you." Bucky declared happily, grinning widely when his sisters came into view. God, he'd missed them, but he also knew they're going to exploit any emotional weakness he's showing like the top-notch predators they were. 

“Like to see you try, old man.” Alice smirked in a voice as sweet as she looked, though her expression betrayed her. She had a tall, tomboyish build where Becca was shorter with all curves.

Two things hit him as Steve walked in after Bucky. One, all the Barnes kids were stunning. From Becca’s neat pixie-cut to Alice’s pleated braid framing the trade-mark Barne’s cheekbones-and-jaw combo, to their general body types, they were just a pretty group of people. And two — he smelled people. Actual scents. They weren’t full-blown like his, but enough that he caught notes of spicy frustration, warm amusement, and the undertone of familial similarity he’d briefly smelled on Bucky. 

“Ma? Did you make the apple-pie early?” Becca said over her shoulder right before she noticed Steve standing next to her brother. Her attention immediately shifted, and she abandoned her spot on the rug to pop up. ”Finally! Get to see the neighbor Bucky’s always talking about.” She smiled with a predatory gleam at Bucky that announced impending mischief-making in the works.

Bucky was probably the only one who could tell apart Steve's scent from actual sweets around the house and finding it highly amusing that Becca fell for the illusion. 

Always. Now that was a big words for mentioning Steve...a few times. They hung out frequently, who else was he supposed to talk about? Not missing the ominous look Becca was shooting him he mimed a zipping motion across his lips, which was the nicer version of the verbal prompt 'Shut uuuup!'.

"Well, this is Becca. I've might not have mentioned her before because she's the middle child.", Bucky officially introduced Steve to her. Nevertheless, he crossed the distance between them to give her a hearty hug that almost lifted Becca off her feet. "My worse half.", he muttered fondly.

Becca smiled innocently in return to Bucky’s miming before she was enveloped into a bone-crunching hug. ”Ugh, get off me you big idiot.” She grumbled, even if she returned the bruising hug with one of her own as soon as she was able. ”You mean you good-lookin’ half. Copy cat.” She reached up and flipped the shorter strands of his hair. ”I wear it better.”

Steve was still trying to make sense of everyone apparently having heard of him more than he would have thought. Granted, he did maybe talk to Julio and Mrs Young about Bucky a lot, so it did stand to reason that Bucky talked about his friend as well. Still, the thought was as pleasant as it was worrying. God, what had Bucky told them?

"Don't you dare use the o-word on me!", Bucky grumbled in mock-anger. Insulting each other was the common way of expressing their affection in the Barnes household. "I'll let you have the title of the best looking sibling this year, but only 'cause it's getting boring to win all the time." He informed her generously with a shit-eating grin, giving her another short squeeze.

“He’s a bold liar, he’s talked about you all plenty.” Steve betrayed his friend in a heartbeat. ”Nice to have a face with a name,” He reached out to shake hands but Becca bypassed that completely to hug him as well. The scent of teak wood and lavender clung to her with the undertones of pepper Steve had scented from Bucky. 

"Steve!", Bucky exclaimed in shock at his friend's betrayal. "Don't team up with those hyenas, I'm the one you have to live next to and who's gonna grab you a cup when you can't reach it yourself." He reminded him with a pout before getting dragged into the next embrace.

“God,it's you that smells like pie. Why couldn’t Marie smell like pie when she was pregnant?” Becca smirked as she withdrew so Alice could muscle in and hug Bucky as well, though she was more polite to just shake Steve’s hand instead of hugging him.

"Geez, did you eat another one of those cookies? Stop growing already.", Bucky reprimanded Alice with one of his terrible Wonderland jokes. She's the only one in his family he's almost at eye level with.

"Unlike you, Bucky, Steve obviously has good taste. You're having a girl right? Means you better get used to this early. Every girl is a princess, dammit." Becca smirked resolutely, smile increasing as Alive punched Bucky in the arm for making another shitty Wonderland joke. 

"He agreed to spend the holidays with you, so I wouldn't be too confident about that." Bucky stated with a shrug, only flinching a tiny bit when he got punched by Alice. His arms should be immune to it at this point thanks to Steve's bony knuckles.

"I'm tired of you already, go back to New York." Alice smirked.

"Nah, I ain't leaving before I've put on at least five pounds." He protested with a delighted smile. 

"Oh yeah, I'm seeing absolute royalty." Steve smirked before he could help himself. He didn't think having only one kid would be so bad...hopefully? 

Becca cackled with delight. "Damn straight." She beamed.

"Where's Marie anyway? Did lock herself up with a bottle of mulled wine, now that she's allowed to drink again?" Bucky vividly remembered the pained look on his sister's face last Christmas when she couldn't drink eggnog with them because of the baby. This year Steve was going to take her place, although Steve generally didn't seem to miss the alcohol that much.

"Diaper duty, little one blew it up after hearty breakfast." Her nose scrunched. She didn't share Bucky or Marie's baby-love. She was perfectly happy to go nowhere near that particular path for the foreseeable future. 

"Oh, I bet she's grown so much again. It's always hard to tell from the photos." Bucky looked forward to holding his God daughter in his arms again after almost a year, full diapers or not.

“Looks like you already did, skippin’ the gym lately?” Becca poked Bucky’s middle with a shit-eating-grin. She’d heard Bucky mention a certain neighbor cooking for him when he was being a depressive sad sack over the bitch-who-shan’t-be-named.

"Don't squish my filling...I can still do more push-ups than you with one arm tied behind my back." Bucky bickered with her incidentally realizing that he had to terminate his gym membership. Mostly because it had been a combo deal for both Dot and him and there's no reason to pay for her any longer. It also didn't make sense that he gained weight, which was a natural side effect of being in a relationship. He'd just gotten a bit lazy...and skipped his walks in favor of leaving the imprint of his ass on Steve's couch.

"Since my brother has the attention span of a goldfish, you can sit on the couch. Marie's feet looked like an elephant's when she was knocked up." Alice gestured to the couch with a pointed smirk at Bucky.

"I think I'm at hippo at the moment. Got room to grow." Steve smiled at Alice gratefully as he took to roosting on the couch with a relieved sigh. After sitting for so long he would have thought he'd have been sick if it.

"Hey I was just about to do that!" How was it Bucky’s fault that he got distracted left and right without having greeted the other half of his family yet. "Want something to drink?" He tried to make up for the missed opportunity, but his ma beat him to it, appearing with a bottle of water and two glasses.

Alice whistled low under her breath as she sat back down and picked up her controller. ”And Bucky’s failed again.”

His dad had settled in his favorite armchair, trying to solve a crossword puzzle, despite the surrounding turmoil.

Ignoring the sibling’s theatrics Steve accepted the water. ”Thank you, sorry to be a bother.” He thanked Winnie gratefully, itching to get up and help with whatever needed to be done but Bucky had already lectured him about pushing himself. He was entering his most dangerous months with his condition, and he had to get his doctor’s clearance to even come on this trip alone. 

"Don't apologize, I'm glad to have at least one person with some manners around the house..." Winnie told Steve before retreating back to the kitchen.

“Oh yeah, you’re supposed to be kickin’ Alice’s ass.” Becca reminded as she crossed the room to sit pointedly next to Steve. She had sister snooping to do, especially after the fiasco that was you-know-who. She couldn’t let her big brother fall prey to someone else so easily.

"I hope you like the taste of shells Liz 'cause you gonna get a lot of them." Bucky was quick to switch gears, not wanting to think about his ex and put a damper on his good mood.

Picking up the console they started a new game, choosing Yoshi's Island for their first race and saving Rainbow Road for the grand final. They weren't beneath shouldering and slapping each other during the game to make the other miss a shot or speed past the lane into the water.

Steve toed his shoes off to tuck his legs up onto the cushion, so he could lean against the couch’s arm, like he was used to sitting. The angle lifted some of the pressure against the bend in his spine, and Becca offered him a throw-pillow to prop under his stomach to help with the rest of the pressure as well.

“Shoulda seen Marie, she was the size of a barn.” Becca snickered as she started chatting with Steve while Bucky was preoccupied. It wasn’t nearly as juicy as she’d hoped. Bucky had been pretty forthcoming with the details he’d told Winnie, and in turn the rest of them. Steve being a single omega, unmated, sickly, blah blah. She’d hoped for a little more dirt-digging, but she was relieved that her brother seemed to have decent taste in ‘best-friends’ despite his apparent shitty taste in girlfriend. Still, she’d keep her eyes peeled. 

Alice huffed as she glowered at Bucky after the latest match. ”I don’t get it, aren’t you supposed to be old and responsible? Why are you so good at this?” She’d been able to crush Becca, but Bucky, of course, was always the challenge.

"I'll let you know that I'm in the prime of my life and plenty responsible where it counts. Speaking of responsible I'm not sure you should be allowed to have a driver license after this disaster I just had to witness." Bucky remarked with a cocky grin. "Brakes aren't an urban legend." He added and would've continued teasing Alice some more if it weren't for Mary and her little daughter entering the living room. He was on his feet in an instant, walking towards them.

“You’re one to talk, bus-pass. You work on cars,” Alice snarked back. She looked up when the final sister returned, and her eyes rolled. ”Oh great, now his attention is shot for the rest of the night. No rematch,” Alice sighed dramatically and flopped onto her stomach to start channel-surfing.

"I'm gone for five minutes and have to come back to Bucky mansplaining? Don't make me regret leaving my comfy couch at home..." Marie 'greeted' her brother with a grumpy expression that quickly turned into a smile when she wrapped an arm around him. "Good to see you. Here, you can hold her, she doesn't smell like a dumpster in summer anymore." She handed over her toddler, grateful to carry a few pounds less for a while.

"Oh, you must be our special guest! Hey Steve, I'm Marie, nice to see someone who's sharing my fate." She introduced herself with a smile and a handshake after rounding the corner of the couch and found a seat next to Becca.

Steve smiled warmly at Marie, her scent softer than the other two, but still with the pleasant peppery-scent he was coming to associate with the Barne’s household. “I’d get up, but — well you know.” He chuckled, free hand coming to rest on his belly. 

Meanwhile, Bucky had completely forgotten about his family and was completely focused on his God daughter, talking to her and listening to her excited babbling. She's almost double the size and weight compared to the last time he'd held her, but she's still soft like a peach and smelled like fresh laundry, which was common for babies and kids until their scent started to properly manifest.

Cradling her against his chest Bucky sat down on the carpet since there wasn't enough space for all of them on the sofa, but he didn't mind, watching Macy cling to his finger and try to chew on it, cooing at her and planting a kiss on top of her head.

Becca watched Bucky with a soft expression, small notes of anger spiking in her scent. She hated Dot for taking Bucky’s dreams of a family away from him, even if she knew that was stupid. She was glad Dot had broken it off because she hadn’t been right for Bucky. The two wanted different things. She just felt so much sibling-rage for Bucky she couldn’t help herself.

“Better watch it Steve, or Bucky might steal your kid.” Becca teased, shaking her head as Bucky fawned over Macy. ”Least you’ll have a babysitter next door,” Her brows waggled. ”Marie is shit out of luck. Bucky’s too far away, I suck with kids, and Alice is too much of a jock to have time.”

Steve had to admit, watching Bucky handle the little girl did stir up little whiffs of Omega contentment in him. He knew Bucky liked kids, knew that had been a big sticking point for Dorothy, but he was going to make sure not to abuse that. “If it wasn’t for Buck I wouldn’t have made it this far, I’m not going to pawn my kid off on him.” He chuckled in return, thinking that was a poor way to repay him.

"Living in New York is too expensive. Dylan and I wanted our own home, so we had to stay in the countryside, but we found a lovely place and finally finished renovating." Marie told Steve, since he was the only one not knowing about their living situations.

"Did he also get you a huge amount of vitamins? I mean I'm not gonna complain, but it's so much I'm feeding them to my husband as well before they expire." Marie wasn't surprised to hear that Bucky helped his neighbor out, despite not being a part of their family. Especially considering that Steve was gonna be a single dad. That was something that could still change and secretly the whole family kinda had their fingers crossed already. Her ma had mentioned the same starstruck look in Bucky's eyes when he talked about Steve as when he's looking at her baby girl right now.

Steve openly laughed at the mention of vitamins. Bucky hadn’t been joking when he said it was a big bottle, and Steve was pretty sure he’d even have enough to last the rest of his pregnancy. “Me and the princess were very glad for those, my levels were garbage before them.” He admittedly shyly. ”I hear that prenatals are great for your hair and nails, so I’m sure your husband is looking pretty dapper.” He grinned cheekily, eased by the Barnes’ sisters genial nature. He’d been afraid that Bucky’s family would treat him...well..like Gilmore’s, even though he knew that was a stupid comparison. It wasn’t like they were in a relationship so the family didn’t have to sniff around a strange, low-class Omega.

"Now that I'm thinking about it his hair does look fuller." Marie noted with a chuckle of her own. She could tell that Steve slowly started to loosen up a little around them. Hard to imagine how he must feel when getting pushed into their middle. No one under this roof censored themselves and they had more attitude for a pack of Omegas than some people were comfortable with.

"Let him help out, at least until he got some of his own and spamming us with pictures 24 hours straight." Marie voiced, only loud enough for the three of them to hear. 

Steve’s smile grew a little syrupy without his knowing.”I have a feeling he’d help out even if I said I was fine, anyway.” He remarked fondly, since their whole dynamic existed on that anyway. They were continuously butting into each other’s life, whether the other one wanted it or not.

"He can be a real sweetheart if he wants to." Marie made a bit of subtle advertisement for her older brother, though it seemed that Steve already saw his best sides on a regular basis. All they needed was a little push in the right direction and the rest of the family was probably on board with playing matchmaker as well. Steve had already won her ma's heart by helping Bucky through a rough time and well the Irish heritage was somehow a benefit too.

Becca and Alice exchanged knowing looks, smirking quietly to themselves. Alice hopped up and went into the kitchen to relay gossip to her mother like a good child. Not that she had anything better to do right now since she’d lost both her gaming siblings.

Bucky was fully invested in holding Macy's hand while letting her wobble-walk a few steps towards him. By next year she'd run around on her own and explore the whole house, which probably made Marie's life a lot more exciting.

"Buggy!", Macy immediately complained when she was supposed to move without his assistance, making grabby hands at him. Before she could lose her balance and topple over face first Bucky caught her small body and pulled her onto his lap.

"You're gonna become a great athlete one day.", he told her with an amused chuckle. "So much faster than your mummy, who never won a single game of catch against me." Bucky added cheerfully.

"Jerk. He's five years older and on the track team." Marie muttered with a huff.

“That’s loser talk.”, Becca bumped against Marie. ”Look at Alice! She’s on the basketball team, and one of the only two Omegas on the soccer team.” Becca readily bragged about their babysitter to Steve, leaving out that she had left most of her sport’s days behind her and left it to Alice.

"Well, someone in this family had to be the unathletic klutz and I sacrificed myself." Marie claimed, placing her hand over her heart, trying to appear like one of those martyrs in the church paintings. "You're welcome."

"Luckily she got brains." Bucky remarked, helpfully as ever.

“So noble,” Becca tittered, reaching up to tuck a few strands of Marie’s hair behind her ear. “Buck’s right though, Marie made valedictorian.” She beamed, prideful of her little pod despite the banter constantly tossed around.

“And I’m stuck with a math tutor,” Alice grumbled with a dramatic sigh.

Steve gave Alice a sympathetic smile. ”School is hard. I was awful in high school and scored in the top five percentile on the ACTs. It’s all memorization anyway.” He could rant for days about America’s school systems, but he’d spare Bucky’s family his opinions for everyone’s sake. Bucky was already subject to them enough.

"Don't harass your sister, James. Better tell me a synonym for cozy blanket with six letters..." George intervened, looking up from his magazine with a light frown.

"Afghan. You could've known that.", Bucky was quick to answer and rather smug about finding the solution before his dad.

"Smartass.", he heard George grumble in reply, but dutifully fill out the boxes. Bucky didn't get the chance to point out what could be a possible question with an answer like that, because his mum called from the kitchen. "Dinner's ready!"

Steve perked at the mention of dinner, his snack from the airplane long worn off. He’d sipped one those god-awful calorie shakes in the car but it tasted like strawberries and chalk.

A few butt-wiggles in and it was apparent he was woefully stuck in his corner of the couch. He was too short for most family-style couches and having a beach ball on his front half wasn’t helping. Sighing, he made puppy eyes at Bucky, dejected that once again he couldn’t get up by himself without a lot of embarrassing wiggling and grunts. It saved him more dignity just allowing Bucky to help him up.

Reluctantly handing Macy back to her mother Bucky got up from the floor and was immediately greeted by Steve's open arms. He clearly wasn't going for a hug here, Bucky knew that pleading look, but he wrapped him into his arms anyway while helping him to get back on his feet.

"I'm gonna feel so useless once the bun is out of the oven and you're not depending on me 24/7." Bucky remarked, though he didn't actually think Steve couldn't do it without him. There'd just be a lot more wriggling and cursing involved.

Steve couldn’t help but laugh at Bucky’s over-helpful nature. He’d really only needed a hand to boost him up, but of course Bucky went above and beyond. He reached to gently smack against Bucky’s chest at the tease, aiming a ‘glare’ at him.

“Who just rescued your favorite sweater? Depending on you my ass,” He snarked back, missing the smirking look the sisters shared while they bantered. Existing with Bucky like this had just become his normal since Dot left Bucky. Since then, they spent a large amount of time together, sharing meals, talking about their day, or just lazing on the couch on Bucky’s days off and watching crappy television. 

"A busy leprechaun I guess." Bucky joked, the following smack against his shoulder being a lot less restrained than the previous one. Alright, he kinda deserved that, but he enjoyed teasing Steve in a good-natured manner and getting a reaction out of him. They're on the same wavelength and it was showing.

Sometimes it got weird, sure, they were Alpha and Omega after all. Steve would have to call off hangouts if his hormones were getting too much, and he was more careful about displaying overt ‘Omega’ traits when around Bucky now. He didn’t growl or purr as much as he used to, and he hoped Bucky didn’t notice.

Bucky led Steve into the kitchen, which also acted as a dining room with a big table in the middle there were two empty seats right next to each other left. What a...coincidence. Honestly, Bucky was low-key worried his family (mostly the female half) were going to play matchmaker as soon as Steve agreed to tag along. His sisters just loved to meddle with his life during the short time they spent together.

Steve didn’t think anything of the seating arrangement as he sat down, for once glad that he was short so his belly didn’t end up blocking him from his plate.

Pulling out the chair for Steve Bucky pointedly ignored the knowing look Becca was giving him, because she didn't know anything at all! Once everyone was seated and the food was on the table his ma told them to dig in and...maybe Steve should've been warned about the Hunger Games that was about to happen. Despite the sufficient amount of food the siblings started fighting over who got the potato salad or sauce first. At least Steve might now understand why he tended to gobble down his food like it was his last meal. Even lil Macy tried to reach for a bowl while sitting on her baby chair, so it must be a family trait.

"Stop acting like starving animals, we have a guest!" Winnie reproached and would've probably smacked each of them on the back of their heads if her arms were long enough. Apologies were murmured and bowls returned. Bucky dutifully filled Steve's plate before getting over himself and handing Becca the honey-glazed carrots. Just because it was Christmas.

The initial carnage was a bit like watching piranhas devouring anything stupid enough to wander into the waters. “I always wanted to go on a safari. ” Steve commented with a chuckle.

"Unfortunately all you're gonna see is a pack of misbehaved hyenas..." Winnie muttered, keeping a close eye on her children.

Steve puffed up a few moments later when Bucky took it upon himself to spoon food onto his plate,”I’m not ninety-seven, Buck, I’m pregnant.” Steve groused, shooing him away from his plate before Bucky started piling on food he had no hope of finishing.

“Good luck, Steve. Bucky’s a fusser.” Becca smirked as she spooned one whole carrot on her plate and went immediately for the mashed-potatoes after. The Holidays weren’t about vegetables, they were about carbs and candy.

"I'm just tryin' to be helpful!" Bucky defended, quickly relenting and started to serve himself instead at a measured pace. Okay, maybe he was fussing over Steve, but it was hard not to. As much as he suppressed his Alpha side on a regular basis his instincts were screaming at him to protect and take care of his mat- friend. Bucky didn't know if it would become less or worse once the baby was added to the mix. 

As much as he tried to look mad at Bucky for being a fuss-bucket, it was nearly impossible. His eyes were too soft, and his scowl was too warm, trying to suppress a smile. He knew it was probably only Bucky’s Alpha instincts, but it was a little nice to be worried over for once, even if usually he would have bitten Bucky for it. The pregnancy hormones were really doing a number on the personal wall he’d built up around himself through the years. 

He learned it wasn’t only Bucky that leaned on the overly caring side in the family. Through the course of the meal, he was ‘offered’ more sweet potatoes(for potassium), more greens(for iron), and was given much too large a piece of pumpkin pie, since he was allergic to nuts to eat the pecan. By the end of the meal, he was stuffed to the gills and sorely tempted to curl up on the nearest surface and nap.

The rest of the dinner went rather peacefully, a few more stories were exchanged, and they ended up in the living room, aside from Alice who's helping their ma with the dishes. Bucky had volunteered to dry them, but his ma sent him away, prompting him to show Steve his room instead. Technically it was Bucky's old room, but it had been turned into a guest room now that it was vacant most of the year. Inwardly praying that his ma hadn't kept his old Star Wars bedclothes and put them on display, Bucky guided Steve to his room, carrying his bag.

He bid goodnight to everyone, even if it was early. It had been a long day for him, and he needed to take his final round of medication anyway, and they always made him a bit sleepy. He followed Bucky up the stairs, waddling as he did so. He was going to have to take a shower before he went to sleep, which felt like a monumental effort, but he didn’t want to saturate the room with his scent either. Not to mention he loathed constantly smelling like milk. 

They entered the room, and Steve’s nose twitched. There was one thing about homes that were generational, nice wood houses that seemed to absorb the family they protected. The room still had the faint scent of Bucky in it, instilled in the carpet, drapes, and even the wood bed frame that could never fully be purged unless deep-cleaned professionally. 

Wait. Mattress.

There was a singular bed, and while it wasn’t a twin bed or anything, it rose questions. It wasn’t like it’d be strange for two guys to share a bed, but it was a bit odd for an unmated Alpha and Omega to. He guessed Bucky’s parents didn’t have hang ups about that sort of thing, which was a refreshing change of pace.

Bucky simply assumed he would sleep on the couch in the living room. Steve and he weren't kids at a sleepover party and Bucky imagined it to be kinda awkward if they shared a bed. Sure, they regularly sat on the couch together and sometimes even dozed off, but in the end they returned to their own beds. None of his other long-term friends had ever shared a bed with him either.

“You have a nice family, Buck.” Steve popped open his suitcase with a smile in Bucky’s direction.

"Thanks, I'm glad they aren't too much for you, but we've still two days left, so you might change your mind." Bucky warned him with an amused smile, taking in the sight of his old room. His ma had taken the posters of his favorite bands and bikes down, but there were photos of his friends and his former team. There was a shelf stacked with sport trophies and a certificate that he made second place in a science project. Bucky remembered how proud he was of his achievements, but over the years they somehow became meaningless to him. It was kinda sweet that his parents kept them around.

“I think I’m up for the challenge,” Steve replied as he pulled out his nightclothes and some of his toiletries. He hated how many things he needed now. Shea butter, absorbent pads for his bra, even pads for other areas because who the hell knew when he’d spot or not. It felt like his body was in full-blown revolt, and he prayed the months passed quickly. 

Passing by a photo of him and his prom date Bucky took the frame that showed him and the Howlies from the wall to show it to Steve. "That's after we won our first football match. We came up with his silly ritual where we would howl at the sky in victory and the school paper gave us the nickname Howlies. Our mascot was a coyote, so it kinda fit."

He looked up as Bucky pointed to the picture. He walked closer, since it was known he needed glasses. He was just waiting for his medical benefits to kick in. 

Bucky didn’t look that different from now, except — “You were so...twinky.” He tittered helplessly. Bucky must’ve bulked up after high school, because he was downright pretty in this picture even with all the football padding.

"The fuck?", Bucky sputtered at Steve's comment, but couldn't help cracking up at the same time, unable to feel truly offended. He didn't have the ability to grow a beard back then and his final growth spurt happened a few years later, so yeah he'd been more slender limbs than thick muscles. That's how he ended up with the running back position in his team. He was the fastest and managed to escape a lot of opponents before they eventually tackled him into the turf.

Steve snickered helplessly at the easy rise he got out of Bucky. The ease of their conversations was something he hadn’t been able to indulge in for years. Not since he split from the friends he’d mentioned. The longer he was around Bucky, the easier it was to be himself, not the Omega he was shaped into being. Not to mention, it helped ease some of his fears about all Alphas as well.

”Bet you were a teen heartthrob.” As if Bucky wasn’t still a looker. He kept expecting Bucky to tell him about all the girls coming out of the woodwork now that Dot had split, but he supposed Bucky was taking it slow. Steve couldn’t blame him, he knew what it was like to give years to someone then get the rug pulled out from under you.

"I tried, but I didn't have the confidence yet, so I didn't break as many hearts as you might think." Bucky admitted ruefully, remembering that his first girlfriend had actually asked him for a date and not the other way around. Later when his hormones kicked in, Bucky(just like any other Alpha) got a burst of confidence that made him think he's a gift to mankind. His siblings and parents luckily managed to knock him down a peg, but afterwards he definitely had no problem hitting on people anymore.

“You, not confident? Hard to picture,” Bucky looked good, and there was no shame in knowing it either. Steve thought it was great when people had confidence in themselves and were comfortable with how they looked. He envied them, really. He’d never known what it was to look in the mirror and just be okay with himself, let alone feel like he looked good. Even now, he knew the only reason people were attracted to him was his pheromones.

“It’s sweet you guys are still a friend group and get to work together,” Steve was jealous, admittedly.´”I kind of wonder what happened to some of the people I hung out with before Gilmore.” He’d had friends then, some he’d cherished, but between his mother dying and then falling head-first into a relationship with Gilmore, it had been all too easy to let friendships slip away.

"Can't believe we stuck together, but I'm glad. Wouldn't have wanted to build up a garage with a bunch of strangers." Bucky commented, putting the picture back from where he'd picked it up.

"You could try to find them through Facebook. I've heard a lot of class reunions happened that way. Maybe a few are in the area and you can meet up." He encouraged Steve, because as much as he cherished his best friend status, Steve should have a few acquaintances outside of the apartment complex as well.

Bucky’s suggestion sounded plausible. Still, what if everyone was angry with him? Or if it was too awkward. Could he really show up and be the Omega that got knocked up and dumped? He was the nothing that bullies had always said he’d be back then.

“Maybe…”

"Alright, I'm gonna let you get ready for bed and hunt down a pillow." The blanket that already hung over the back of the couch should be enough to hold him warm during the night. 

He nodded, guessing that Bucky was going to sleep somewhere else. He felt a little silly for assuming before that they’d be sharing a bed. They were grown men, not at a sleep over. 

Then again, apparently the universe had other ideas.

There's a knock on the door before his Ma entered...with a spare blanket and pillow in her hands as if the mention of it had magically summoned her.

"Is it alright if you're sharing the bed? The couch is kinda lumpy and I wouldn't want you to wake up with a stiff neck." She directed towards Bucky, who's momentarily stunned into silence, trying to process the fact that he's supposed to share his old bed with Steve of all people.

Steve startled slightly at the knock, turning away from the pictures to smile at Winnie. His cheeks heated as his prior assumption was confirmed. He glanced briefly over at Bucky. He’d spent enough time around his best friend at this point to see a similar look of ‘Oh fuck’ in his eyes. Apparently Bucky’s family was as ‘open’ as he thought. Unmated as they were, sharing a room. Maybe because he was already knocked up. Another Alpha had effectively claimed him in most people’s eyes, even without The Bite, so why bother worrying?

"Think I can handle it." Bucky shrugged off her worries.

“I don’t snore, so I think we’ll be fine.” Steve replied, only knowing this because Gilmore would have nudged him out to the couch if he ever had.

Oh. Right. The last time he’d slept in the bed with someone was Gilmore. That wasn’t exactly a wonderful thought. The hookup that had gotten him fired had left after he’d gotten the wind back in his lungs, so Steve wasn’t going to count that.

"I do sometimes." Bucky immediately confessed, but judging by the look on Steve's face he didn't care. Okay, there's no actual reason they couldn't share a bed and as long as they didn't make a big deal out of it, everything was fine. Peachy.

Bucky couldn't believe that the same woman that used to enforce the rule of keeping his door open when he had girls over now encouraged him to sleep right next to an unmated Omega who smelled like his favorite kind of pie. This must be the Lord testing him, because he hadn't visited a church in ages.

"We're gonna give it a try, but if Steve won't get any sleep I'm taking the couch tomorrow." He told Winnie, taking the pillow and blanket, while actively ignoring her smug smile. 

Not for the first time, Steve thought Bucky could be oddly cute. Especially for an Alpha. Bucky sounded more nervous than he was about the situation. While Steve had some initial surprise over it, sleeping in the same bed with someone wasn’t something he thought was strange. He’d had to share with his mom when he was a child, then he had a stint sleeping in their car, and even in highschool he’d often sleep over at friend’s houses if his mother was pulling doubles. It had been a while, yeah, but that didn’t mean this had to be weird.

"Have a good night!" She wished both of them, before making an exit to check on her other children.

Except, Steve got the feeling from Bucky’s mother that he was missing something here.

"You can use the bathroom first." Bucky offered, dumping the items he's holding on the bed and then began rearranging everything, so he could sleep with his back against the wall. It'd be better for Steve to take the spot from which he could easily leave the bed in case he had to get up during the night.

“Thanks, be right back.” Steve didn’t want to monopolize the bathroom, but now he really needed to scrub himself free of his scent. It didn’t occur to him most houses of this size had two full-size bathrooms, considering he’d only ever lived in apartments or Gilmore’s condo. 

Steve barely avoided slipping in the shower, and had to plunk himself down on the side of the tub when a dizzy spell hit him. Glowering, he turned the water on cooler and suffered through the luke-warm water instead of hot. The doctor warned him that hot water would be his enemy while he was having a difficult pregnancy, but he’d been so cold from the day it’d been too tempting. 

He scrubbed himself until he was relatively scent-free, even if it would kick back up again before morning.

After drying off he pulled on his over-sized T-Shirt that dusted his knees, and a pair of maternity boxers. He completely forgot his leak-guard bra in his pile of clothing, instead opting for hastily pulling on the long sweater-housecoat to brace himself against the bathroom air.

Unfortunately Bucky left his sports bag downstairs since he hadn't expected to sleep in his old room and had to make another detour. Returning with his belongings and a bottle Bucky put down the water on the nightstand and changed into his sleepwear, which consisted of an old band shirt and boxer-briefs. Christmas themed of course with little mistletoes all over them. Back in the store when he'd purchased them they seemed funny, but now that he's wearing them he couldn't help thinking that they also were kinda suggestive...he didn't want Steve to think he wanted him to kiss his dick. God, why was he thinking about Steve near his dick, this was bad, abort mission!

Just when he considered putting on another set of boxer-briefs he heard approaching footsteps. There's no time left to change and nowhere to hide.

Walking down the hall, Steve returned to the room with a soft sigh. ”Sorry, my night routine feels like it takes years now,” He dropped all his things on his suitcase, resolving to deal with it tomorrow.

Turning around, he finally got a good look at Bucky and immediately tittered. ”You look...festive. I feel like I should’ve matched or something.” His shirt was so long you couldn’t even see his boxers anyway.

"Thanks." Bucky returned with a slightly nervous chuckle. "Nah, at least one of us should not waste money on stuff like that. And I like your ghost of Christmas past aesthetic. " He added while heading for the bath, however Bucky had enjoyed their slightly matching outfits at their Christmas dinner with their neighbors.

Steve looked down at himself and snorted. ”God, I am, aren’t I?” All he needed were old-timey slippers and maybe one of those ugly sleep-caps. “I’m warm and comfortable, that’s all the matters these days.” He countered, patting his stomach fondly. 

Once Bucky left for the bathroom he climbed into bed with a thankful sigh. It took a little positioning. Normally he wouldn’t worry about how much room he was taking up, but with his belly being so present, he wanted to make sure Bucky had enough room. 

Satisfied, he settled in, waiting for his last round of pills for the night to kick in. 

Not having any scent he needed to tone down Bucky merely brushed his teeth and sent a silent prayer skywards that the night would be uneventful and his body wasn't going to react to Steve's proximity. Leaving the bathroom a few minutes later he returned to his room, finding Steve laying in his bed and...there wasn't much space left, but thanks to Steve's small frame they should be able to fit in together.

The mattress dipped and the bed gave a creaking noise in protest when Bucky climbed under the covers, halfway expecting the damn thing to fall apart. Luckily nothing happened, and he rolled onto his side, facing Steve.

Steve was dropping on when Bucky returned, and he blinked awake with a slow yawn. The bed creaked, and his heart quickened, the gravity of the situation finally dawning. Bucky laid down, barely any space between them.

Then Bucky turned towards him, because of course he did.

"This alright?" Bucky asked again, just to make sure his friend wasn't feeling cornered by his bulk.

Steve focussed his eyes on Bucky, trying to ignore that he could feel the Alpha’s heat sinking into the bed like a human radiator. “Relax,” He said despite his own nerves.

"Okay, just elbow me when I'm crowding you during the night or start snoring." Bucky requested, which usually made him flop onto his side or shut up.

Steve yawned once more. ”You’re really warm,” He commented quietly, feeling as if he should whisper.

"Just trying to outbalance your cold feet." Bucky quipped with a soft grin. Bucky would've proven his point by brushing toes, but he didn't want to accidentally knee Steve in the stomach.

"Good night, Steve..." He wished him quietly, barely able to contain a yawn himself before closing his eyes. Despite the darkness and warmth he had trouble finding sleep with his body hypersensitive to Steve's presence, even with his scent being watered down from the previous shower. 

Despite his nerves, Steve fell asleep with a soft smile.

Bucky's body gravitated towards Steve's like a magnet, curling around him as soon as he finally managed to fall asleep. During the morning hours when Steve's scent grew stronger again Bucky unconsciously nosed the back of his neck. A quiet, low rumble similar to a purr rumbled in his chest with every exhale, ghosting across Steve's skin. His muscles had reached a new level of relaxation and although he's not being actively aware of it Bucky felt incredibly content.

As predicted, Steve needed to get up in the middle of the night. He woke up to their bodies being much closer together than they’d been before, yet the fare of predicted panic never came. Bucky’s body was wonderfully warm, sinking into his bones and driving away the ever-present chill of his sickly body.

He was careful extracting himself from the bed, hurrying off to pee. Returning, he hesitated, chewing on his lower lip. He should go back to how they were sleeping before. It wasn’t right to enjoy Bucky’s body like that, especially when it was probably just instincts doing it. But...what was the harm in it? Instincts weren’t all bad. Humans needed them, and it was just cuddling. People could cuddle!

Shaking off his circular arguments, he slipped back into bed and shimmied close. Almost immediately Bucky’s arm returned where it had been, and Steve relaxed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas chapters during summer time are always kinda weird, but I hope youre getting into a festive mood anyway!  
> Enter: The Bedsharing Trope (TM)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Tension (TM) returns!

The fresh-baked smell of breakfast tickled Steve’s nose, pulling him to semi-wakefulness. He briefly tried to move his head into his pillow to block out the morning light, but found a weight lining down his back instead. A shiver tiptoed down his spine as Bucky’s exhaled-purr vibrated the skin near his scent glands. 

They were even closer than a few hours ago. Bodies neatly slotted together. He could feel the rise and fall of Bucky’s chest against his back, making him acutely aware of how long it had been since anyone had held him so close.

Bucky’s heat largely quelled the desire to scent the Alpha over the past weeks, however now was the first time since then Steve longed for it. He wondered what Bucky would smell like without the thick cloud of hormones trying to attract a mate. Wondered what Bucky would smell like on a morning like this, surrounded by his family on the holidays.

Steve already knew himself to be a selfish being, so he stilled, eyes closing. He was firmly awake at this point, loathed to move as he smelled the cinnamon-sugar wafting from below while warm and safe. Steve hadn’t felt this sense of calm since before his mother died and their financial situation hadn’t been so dire as it was growing up. Like then, he wasn’t worried about where his next meal would come from. If he’d be cold or shouting from nextdoor would wake him. It felt deceptively like being home.

Bucky's sleep wasn't disturbed by the sound of footfalls passing the door or the alluring smell of bacon and pancakes. The noises that finally managed to interrupt his slumber was the noise of knuckles against wood followed by the familiar voice of his ma telling them that breakfast was ready.

His sluggish brain didn't have the capacity to process that important bit of information yet and Bucky buried his face further into the soft...hair? Lazily blinking his eyes open he was momentarily blinded by the sun and he had to squeeze his eyes close before daring to make another attempt to take in his surroundings. Steve's head took up most of his vision and now that he's more aware of his body as well Bucky realized that he's practically plastered to his front like a memory foam body pillow. Shit, he'd released the kraken on Steve. 

Bucky stirred behind Steve, and only the practice from not waking Gilmore before work kept Steve from reacting when Bucky nuzzled against his head. It was such a tender reaction Steve’s stomach flipped, barely able to stifle his answering purr. Everything about the situation made his body pulse with satisfaction and right, despite Steve knowing it was just...just hormones. That’s all.

Carefully pulling back his arm Bucky hoped that he hadn't clung to Steve like a leech the whole night, so there's still the chance that he could get away without any consequences. Luckily he'd woken up before Steve, giving him the opportunity to correct his slip up. Only when he'd brought a bit of distance between their bodies did he gently grab Steve's shoulder and gave him a light shake.

Disappointment filled Steve at the moment being broken so soon. Bucky’s family was probably waiting on them though, Winnie had cooked breakfast, the day had to continue on.

"Hey Stevie, wake up." Bucky murmured.

Steve played possum until Bucky gently shook him. His eyes blinked open and a genuine yawn momentarily scrunched his face. 

“Morning,” Steve mumbled, gently flexing night-stiff muscles and stretching his legs against the sheets. “Time’is’t?” He would roll over and get one of their phones, but rolling over these days was out of the question.

"Uh...almost 9." Bucky informed Steve after checking his phone's display. "They're early risers." His Ma was probably up and bustling around since 7am and he wouldn't be surprised if Alice already went for a morning run.

"Need me to roll you to the bath?" Bucky asked with a teasing grin, nudging Steve's side. He's smart enough to scurry away before a bony elbow or pillow could hit him. "Gonna take a quick shower, see you downstairs, starfish." Grabbing a fresh set of clothes from his bag he zipped it back up again, not wanting for Steve to catch a glimpse of his wrapped up present. 

Bucky better be damn glad he wasn’t weighed down by a tiny human being as well, or else Steve would have told him where he could roll to. Or off of. Instead, Steve flipped him off with a huff as he went about the difficult task of getting upright.

Steve didn’t think the Barnes family would begrudge him for taking his time, all things considered. He had to take his morning round of medications that didn’t require food, and the rest were packed up into a pill-holder that went into his pocket. 

Since he’d showered before bed he simply changed clothes, his usual sweater-on-thick-leggings combo because it was the only thing comfortable, presentable, and warm. Jeans had no place in pregnancy. 

The growing distance between them didn't make Bucky smell any less like a caramelized pastry. He'd soaked up Steve's scent like a sponge and even after the shower a hint of cinnamon lingered in his nose. It definitely couldn't be the lavender shampoo.

Leaving the door to the bathroom wide open Bucky went down to the living room and greeted everyone while passing by. He needed a cup of coffee asap.

Becca blearily perked her head up from the table, already deep into her second cup. ”Man, I wish Marie had smelled like baked goods during her pregnancy.” She sniffed Bucky with a titter. She opened her mouth to make a joke but a swift look from their mother silenced her. Spoilsports.

“...Sleep well?” She opted instead, smiling sweetly.

"When's the last time you had a fresh loaf of bread? Want me to ask Steve to gift you one of his shirts?" Bucky asked Becca jokingly while preparing himself a cup of coffee. Suspiciously squinting at his sister upon hearing her innocent question combined with the telling smile Bucky thought very hard what kind of answer he wanted to give her. 

“I mean if I swang that way.” Becca’s brows bobbed. It was a joke, considering she batted for the other team. She was glad their parents had more love for their kids than being bigots since she didn’t exactly care what a girl’s designation was. She had a feeling Alice would challenge them all at trying to give their parent’s a heart attack, kid was more progressive than any of them.

"You're gonna find yourself a croissant gal if you keep looking." Bucky stated confidently, snatching a piece of crispy bacon right out of the pan when his ma wasn't looking, quickly stuffing the slice into his mouth. Unfortunately he couldn't muffle the crunching noise completely and his mother shot him a chastising glance.

She could sense that he obviously had a fantastic night, thanks to Steve being his cuddle buddy, but that's definitely not a detail Bucky was willing to share with anyone of his family or Steve. "Yes, like always, I slept great, it's my old bed." He returned completely casual, taking a sip of his coffee, staring at his younger sibling and daring her to voice what she really wanted to know. A move he might regret, but ingrained since his childhood.

God, Bucky was obtuse. Becca didn’t see the problem here, the two were practically a married couple already. Bucky hadn’t told them the nitty-gritty about Dot leaving, but Becca had a feeling it might have partially been because — Well, something was going on there, even if Bucky was too stupid to realize it. Maybe it was just Bucky being a big idiot of an Alpha, but Becca didn’t think so. With Dot leaving Bucky, and things being the way they were, the moron was probably too scared to even entertain the idea.

It was cute, in an infuriating way.

"Don't think I'm stupid enough not to notice what you're doing..." Bucky accused both his ma and sister. "It's not going to work and I'm very happy with the current situation. Stop meddling or you ain't getting any presents." Bucky half-heartedly threatened them.

Becca smiled over her coffee cup. ”Why brother, I am positively aghast you’d even suggest such a thing.”, she replied in her best HBO Drama voice.

"More meddling? Is that what I just heard?" Marie asked while entering the kitchen, not even trying to hide a yawn with Macy occupying her arms.

“Bucky’s being a doorknob,” Becca replied With a smirk.

“What’s new?” Steve tittered as he shuffled in a few moments after Marie, looking considerably more awake than when Bucky left him. ”Morning everyone.”

"Aghast my ass..." Bucky muttered under his breath, which earned him a slap against his shoulder from his ma, who still didn't like her children cussing. Well, good thing she'd never experienced a Rogers rant. Speaking of his better insulting half Steve made an appearance just in time and metaphorically stabbed him in the back, ganging up on him with the rest of his family. Alright, maybe he's willing to share a bed with him once more for the sole purpose of hogging the blankets, show Steve that he'd formed an alliance with the wrong people.

Becca kept herself from making a joke about Bucky’s ass to keep their mother’s indignation on Bucky. It was always nice to have Bucky home for the holidays since it took some of the heat off her. She wasn’t sure which parent had passed on the obvious gene that made their children genetically predisposed to be little shits, but honestly, it was their own fault. It was in their genes.

"What do you wanna drink?" Bucky asked Steve and listed the available options ranging from juice to tea and milk.

Steve yawned against his shirtsleeve. ”Tea please,” Now that he was out of bed he was getting a bit chilly. Normally he’d fight Bucky on waiting on him like this, but he didn’t know his way around the Barnes family kitchen, so he’d let Bucky take the lead on this one.

“Man, I don’t remember Bucky being this doting when you were pregnant.” Becca tittered as she leaned towards Marie. Bucky had only been able to visit sparingly during that time, but still, Bucky was treating Steve like — Well, they all knew what Bucky was treating Steve like. Just because Bucky was taking the heavy-duty blockers didn’t mean he wasn’t obvious. 

"I just hope he isn't gonna become one of those helicopter mums." Marie commented with a shudder, because that wasn't sweet anymore, but big brother is watching you.

"Did you get a few hours of sleep or did Bucky's snoring keep you up all night?" Marie asked with a mischievous smile, helping Macy into the baby seat.

Steve sat down, looking over at Marie with a small blush brewing on his cheeks. He’d slept like a log save for needing to get up to pee.”I must’ve been exhausted from the trip, I was out cold.” He admitted, trying to repackage it with less emphasis on Bucky. They’d both been tired, is all.

He was starting to think the sisters were making a sport of this. Not that he blamed them. It was a pretty scandalous position. Apparently, the entire apartment complex had been gossiping for months, naturally, the Barnes would have a few opinions themselves. He was just grateful they weren’t outwardly negative ones.

Bucky searched through their tea collection until he found a box with the kind he knew for certain was one of Steve's all time favorites. It wasn't weird that he knew about all those little things considering how much time they spend together. By now Bucky was aware of their neighbors talking not only behind their backs, but sometimes even dropping remarks during conversations about what a cute couple they would make. And it's not like Bucky wanted to deny that they're close and that Steve meant an awful lot to him, just...

He couldn't tell if Steve was interested in him beyond friendship and if he was he'd never hinted at it. Bucky didn't have the courage to get his heart crushed again when he'd just recovered from his previous breakup. What if a relationship didn't work, they'd break up, maybe unable to stay friends, but Bucky had to keep watching the baby grow up and Steve finding someone new. Whenever he imagined a scenario like this he could feel his chest ache in discomfort, so he tried not to and instead enjoy the time he had with his friend and family. This was enough, he repeated his mantra, carrying over the cup to set it down in front of Steve.

Steve’s scent softened as Bucky set his favorite tea in front of him, fixed just the way he liked it. He missed the way the siblings looked at each other knowingly as he wrapped his hands around the mug to absorb the heat. Of course, he had to stick one hand on the back of Bucky’s neck when the inevitable ‘old person’ joke came up as if Bucky hadn’t made it a billion times before.

He ate well, engaging with the family with more ease than he ever thought possible. Alice walked in after a morning jog, smirking as Bucky spooned more eggs on Steve’s plate.

Breakfast was similar to their dinner the other night and Bucky felt like he could fall back into a food coma afterwards. Luckily they hadn't planned any activities that involved a lot of movement. They watched a traditional Christmas movie and played cards. 

Steve liked Bucky’s mother the best, and after breakfast that sat in the kitchen over tea and chatted about recipes, his sewing, and other little things that didn’t help his little-old-lady image.

Watching movies with the Barnes, playing games with them, it was surreal. This truly felt like a home. The kind of idyllic life his Mother always lamented she couldn’t give him. He wondered what she would think of him now...He knew she’d love knowing he had an experience like this. He just wished she could be here with him, swapping recipes, and laughing with delight when she beat everyone at Rummy. 

His ma informed them that the neighbors planned to visit for a small gathering and drinks. The house would be crowded, which was the perfect excuse for Steve and him to leave for a bit. 

"Hey dad, I'm gonna borrow your car." Bucky told George when it was about time for them to leave, the sky outside already turning dark despite it only being afternoon. "Be cautious, the roads might be icy." His old man warned him.

Admittedly, Steve was glad to be ducking out on the party. He felt guilty he was already so fragrant, and he wasn’t looking forward to milling around with strangers. Being around the Barnes was one thing, but he didn’t want Bucky to have to explain his presence either. 

Steve bundled up from head to toe, wrapped in long sleeves, a big sweater, a thick coat, and a scarf that doubled as a blanket if you stretched it out far enough. 

Winnie pushed a bag of snacks and a big thermos of hot cocoa in his arms before they headed out, citing that a baby needed warmth and food constantly with a soft cluck. Steve settled into the passenger seat, setting the bag between his feet. 

“Where we going?” He asked, having to push down his scarf to keep his voice from being muffled.

"Reviving a tradition." Bucky answered cryptically, hoping that Steve wasn't going to end up feeling sad about his attempt to recreate his past. The engine came to life with a rumble and Bucky briefly fiddled with the radio in an attempt to find a station that wasn't playing Last Christmas. 

Steve quirked an eyebrow but knew better than to try and pry it out of Bucky when he was being ridiculous. Bucky liked his surprises. Steve? He hated them. Most surprises in his life had been in the form of a sudden cold or being fired. Surprises were rarely pleasant. Bearing that in mind, Steve still couldn’t dampen Bucky’s spirits. Not on this. This wasn’t prying what movie they were watching out of him, what he’d ordered for take out, or his next big idea.

Sitting back in his seat, Steve was content to hum off-key to the peppy holiday tunes, comfortable with the company and his layers.

They slowly drove down the road without coming across another car or pedestrian. Everyone was at home with their families, celebrating. Bucky knew this little town much better than the streets of New York, remembering the names of the roads and which turns he had to take. After a while he found one of those he'd been looking for and let the car roll down the light slope.

"I know, this isn't Brooklyn and I can't replace your ma, but I thought you might enjoy these." Bucky explained quietly, passing colorfully illuminated and decorated houses. The idea had occurred to him when he'd mention his parents house and how Steve used to spend his Christmases when it was just the two of them.

Glancing at Steve's profile, softened by the golden light, Bucky couldn't help thinking how beautiful he looked, despite being bundled up like a human burrito. Bucky was grateful for the lump currently stuck in his throat, distracting him from doing something stupid like taking Steve's hand and confessing that this was already the best holiday, because he's here with him.

It never occurred to Steve to question Bucky until they turned down a street and the first glimmer of bright, twinkling lights bathed the windshield. His breath hitched scent flooding with honey and nostalgic sage. He barely heard Bucky at first, wrapped up in the dawning realization of what Bucky had meant by ‘reviving a tradition’.

“Buck — “ He started, only to find there weren’t words enough to say. His chest was crushed with warmth tinged at the edges with a thankful grief. He missed his mother more than words could say, especially around the holidays, but this Christmas was the best one he’d had since she’d died. He knew she’d love that for him. Hell, she’d be more excited than he was. 

His eyes glimmered as brightly as the lights as he turned to look at Bucky. The fears he possessed about giving Bucky his gift washed away because now he was more certain than ever. 

Steve sniffed, looking back towards the houses with a watery smile. ”Thanks, Buck.” He whispered, afraid that if he said anything else he’d end up crying a snot-puddle into Bucky’s coat.

Words weren't necessary, Steve's scent created a pretty clear picture of his emotions, a mixture between melancholy and happiness. Bucky knew he's toeing the line, but luckily the fond memories seemed to outweigh his friend's loss.

Anything for you, he wanted to tell Steve from the bottom of his heart.

"Merry Christmas, Stevie." Bucky voiced quietly instead, following his gaze towards the Christmas trees and fake snow. Of course, this wasn't his actual present, but the real gift probably wouldn't get Steve as emotionally invested. 

There's a house with a small group of realistic looking reindeer on their front lawn and once they reached the end of the road Bucky found a parking spot, where they could share hot chocolate and snacks.

Steve tittered as they nibbled on pretzels and cookies, sharing the steaming thermos. The lights played against the windshield, blinking in time with the holiday music playing from someone’s front-yard speaker. The lights would shine and dim with the music and Steve rocked lightly to the music, arm brushing against Bucky’s as he swayed.

They spent almost an hour exploring the neighborhood until it got time for them to drive back. 

"Sometimes I forget how quiet it's outside the city." Bucky commented after turning off the car and radio in the process.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a place so quiet.” Steve had barely been out of New York City. This marked the first time he’d even been out of the state. These long stretches of open highway, snow-covered fields, open sky, it was only things he’d seen second-hand.

His eyes stayed towards the window long after they left the lights, staring up at the sky.

“Hey, wait.” Steve nudged Bucky when they neared his home, urging him to pull aside on the road.

Steve stepped out of the car, instantly sinking into the snow up to his shins. Snickering, he did an awkward shuffle out into the wide field, staring up at the twinkling sky. 

"See something?" Bucky asked, following Steve's prompt and staring through the windshield. It'd be the perfect timing for deer to make an appearance. Bucky followed when Steve climbed out of the car, his own boots immediately sinking through the powdery, white surface. Whenever he'd seen an untouched snow field as a child he just had to run through it and leave some footprints.

“Look at that sky. Hard to believe that’s the same sky back home.” His breath puffed clouds into the air before his hands clasped against his lips, breathing a bit of heat into his gloves. ”It’s beautiful.”

"I still can't figure out which of them is supposed to be the big bear...salmon or whatever." He admitted, while gazing at the cluster of stars above them, craning his neck. The view was much better, not just because of the lack of pollution in the air, but also the missing skyscrapers.

Steve bumped his shoulder against Bucky’s arm. ”That’s the big dipper, that’s the little one.” Steve pointed up at the sky, tracing stars with his gloved fingertip. ”That one over there is Ursa Major.” He’d looked at books in the library with sprawling pages of planets and stars. He’d even been able to scrape up some money from summer jobs in school to go to the planetarium. But none of that beat the view he had now, a view so large it made him feel like nothing more than a spec of sand in a vast ocean. Meaningless, but humbled by the awe of it.

"And the little nerd is standing right next to me." Bucky couldn't help pointing out the latest constellation with a teasing grin.

"C'mon shooting star, let's get back inside before you turn into an ice cube." Bucky urged, placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder. The cold was already sinking through the soles of his shoes and if he could feel it then it must be worse for Steve. 

After sticking his tongue out, Steve shuffled after Bucky. Heaving himself up into the jeep was a little more difficult this time, considering he was standing in snow.

Trying not to drag all the snow that clung to him back into the car Bucky clapped his heels together. Turning the key in the ignition the car gave a short, pathetic sound before falling silent again. "Don't you dare..." Bucky muttered, giving it another try with the same result. "Fuck." It seemed like the car wouldn't get them anywhere. On the bright side they're close enough that they could walk back down the street. No use in trying to fix the issue in the dark without any tools.

“Well, shit.” Steve chuckled quietly as the jeep sputtered and died. A small tendril of anxiety threaded into him, briefly panicking about it being so cold and the house not being in immediate view.

"Alright, I'm afraid we have to walk. This garbage can is literally out cold.", Bucky announced while sliding off the seat, grabbing the empty thermos. "It's a Christmas miracle that it didn't malfunction on our way from the airport."

“Sorry for making us stop.” Steve apologized with a wan smile, feeling as if he had resigned them to a miserable walk.

He hopped back down and plodded up onto the street alongside Bucky. Steve didn’t even offer a pretense before he shoved himself up against Bucky’s side, rooting himself against Bucky while they walked. He needed the stability and the bit of body heat being this close to Bucky gave him.

Tugging the scarf up over his mouth kept him from breathing frigid air, which would set off his asthma if he wasn’t careful.

"Blame the car. I'm just glad it didn't happen in the middle of the highway and caused an accident." Taking the key with him Bucky abandoned the car, since there's nothing worth stealing inside. The snow slowed them down significantly, so they probably needed double the amount of time to reach his parent's house. With Steve already plastered against his side, Bucky slung his arm around his friend's shoulders, keeping him close and avoided his arm getting sandwiched between their bodies. 

Steve was a bit glad Bucky couldn’t possibly scent him through the wind and snow. He didn’t want Bucky to smell the reaction that flared in him as Bucky easily dismissed Steve’s guilt. Other Alphas would have groused the entire way home about Steve’s decision to have them pull over just to see the stars. Hell, even some Betas and other Omegas. People. Bucky was just — one of a kind, Steve guessed. Made him want to thank Bucky’s parents for doing a good job. He hoped he could at least do half as well with his own.

"Would've been too perfect if we didn't have a small incident." Bucky stayed optimistic, despite the cold temperatures. The road was barely visible beneath the layer of snow, but the outlines of the houses in the distance were visible, helping them find their way back. Bucky just hoped this wouldn't end with Steve catching a cold.

Steve could appreciate the optimism in Bucky’s voice, even when it felt like the cold was doubling down on them. Despite Steve’s layers, the paltry amount of body fat on him wasn’t doing much and soon he was shivering in Bucky’s hold.

"We're almost there." Bucky assured Steve, hearing the muffled chatter of his teeth behind the scarf.

Ringing the doorbell he could hear footsteps approaching and his ma opened the door for them, her smile turning into a more concerned expression when he saw their state. "Car broke down when we stopped at the corn fields." Bucky uttered in explanation while ushering Steve inside, leaving behind a wet trail of melted snow.

"Oh dear, get some blankets, I'm gonna fetch you a hot drink to warm you up." She instructed them before disappearing into the kitchen.

Getting inside was simultaneously the best and worst thing ever. The warm gust of air that greeted them licked the small amount of skin exposed, and Steve hurried inside along Bucky. Now that they weren’t out in the elements, he realized how sodden his boots and the ends of his jeans were. Most of his outer layers were getting damp fast from the snow melting on their jackets. 

“W-we should go...change first.” He knew just how bad of an idea it was to sit around in wet clothes after being outside for so long. 

He awkwardly got his boots off without bending over, grimacing at how wet his socks were. He pulled those of next, toes pale and chilled. Without giving it much thought he reached out to gently grasp Bucky’s forearm, not trusting himself to get up the stairs on his own.

"Think we still got some of granny's wool socks upstairs." Every sibling had gotten one pair each Christmas, enough to fill up a whole drawer over time. They didn't look very fashionable, but they did wonders when it came to keeping your feet warm and cozy.

Helping Steve to climb the stairs up to their shared room Bucky looked through his old dresser where he found some of his old sleeping cloths and the promised socks, fetching one pair for each of them and grabbing his old sweatpants, so he could get out of his damp jeans.

Steve couldn’t get out of his clothes fast enough. He unfastened his jeans and let them slide to the ground. After passing them off to Bucky his scarf came off, then his coat.

Waiting for Steve to shed his pants as well Bucky hung both of them over the heater and cranked it up a little. Their clothes should be dried by tomorrow.

"Oh good...I think I can feel my toes again." Bucky wriggled them in his thick, navy blue socks. They probably looked like Rudolph the reindeer with their red noses and ruddy cheeks.

“Glad you can.” Steve chuckled softly, peeling his thick sweater off. “I can’t feel my anything,” He needed to get his wet things off before he put anything else back on.

It spoke to how comfortable he was with Bucky, and how much he didn’t see Bucky as a threat that Steve continued on as if he hadn’t been agonizing over sleeping in the same bed with Bucky the night before.

He pulled his shirt off with a shivered sigh, toes curling against the carpet as he shifted from foot to foot, standing there in his bra and underwear. He momentarily groped his chest and decided his chest was dry enough and he was tired of being uncomfortable and cold. He unbuckled the easy-access front hook and dropped the pale cream torture device onto his luggage. 

“You would think for me having pre-eclampsia that would equal out to blood circulation.” He grumbled, feeling like his nipples could cut diamonds right now.

"Nah, stuff like that just add up with each other..." Bucky heard himself come up with a reply despite his brain zoning out, completely enthralled with the sight of Steve standing in front of him and being pretty much naked. The cute, frilly bra he's sporting ended up with the rest of his clothes on a messy pile.

Bucky wanted to lick a wet stripe over each side of his chest and roll those perky, pink nipples between his teeth until Steve was whimpering his name. Holding his breath was better than having Steve hear it hitch with arousal, but at some point his lungs reminded him that oxygen wasn't a mere option and he took a shallow inhale through his nose. Bad mistake. Steve's scent had somehow intensified, which made sense, now that he wasn't covered by several layers of fabric anymore.

"I uh-" Fuck, he sounded like he's having a stroke. "I think I'm gonna take a quick shower." Bucky lamely finished his sentence. It hadn't been his initial plan, but he needed a short break to gather his wits and stood daydreaming about leaving his teeth marks all over Steve's narrow chest. It was just his hormones taking the upper hand thanks to his ongoing dry spell. 

Almost walking into the door frame Bucky pulled the door close and locked himself up in the bathroom. 

Steve paused, thumbs hooked into his maternity boxer-briefs (thankfully they just looked normal, they just had an extra thick lining in the crotch). Maybe Bucky had been colder than he thought? Bucky hadn’t worn as many layers as Steve had, which was no surprise, but Alphas generally ran hotter. 

“K,” Steve replied right about the time Bucky nearly collided with the door frame. He was definitely sticking his cold toes against Bucky tonight, he’d wanted to take a shower to warm his poor body up a bit.

It only occurred to Steve when he was standing butt-naked in Bucky’s room that maybe Bucky would be awkward about being nude in the same room as an Omega. He hadn’t really thought about it for the past month or so now that they’d reconciled after the awkwardness that came with Bucky’s rut.

Which wasn’t at all what he should be thinking about but now that it was there he couldn’t help it. Bucky’s homey, spicy scent had clogged his nose for hours after that, leaving him leaking into his boxers. It had been hard to know that only a wall separated them, and while there was no way to trigger a heat while he was pregnant, his hormones had craved an Alpha’s attention. 

Steve shook his head, forcing himself to remember that he was in Bucky’s parent’s house, and he didn’t want to leave arousal hormones in the room. That would be mortifying on too many levels. 

He rooted around and found one of Bucky’s old hoodies and tugged it on, enjoying the oversized fall. He’d had to sacrifice bringing his favorite hooded sweatshirt in favor of more practical clothing when he packed, so he didn’t think Bucky would be mad. It’s not like Bucky was wearing it, Steve doubted he could fit his big-shoulders into this thing anymore. 

Satisfied and bundled up, Steve returned downstairs to root himself on the couch and let Winnie assail him with cups of tea and a pile of blankets.

The lavender shower gel managed to overpower the leftover traces of warm milk and honey stuck in Bucky’s nose and his erection slowly started to soften between his legs. Fuck, it had been a close call and he prayed that Steve hadn't noticed anything.

Bucky let the hot water run over his back until the heat of it started to make him sweat, the previous cold feet already forgotten. Emerging out of the bathroom Bucky found his old room empty and decided to follow Steve downstairs. Big mistake. All the effort he'd put into calming himself down again were immediately ruined by the sight of Steve wearing one of his old sweaters. They looked like the usual oversized clothes Steve wore on a daily basis, nothing out of the ordinary aside from the fact that it was his sweater and...it didn't mean a damn thing. Steve had been cold and looking for something to keep him warm. No reason to feel like Steve was wearing his scent mark. 

Glad that Steve currently sat with his back towards him, unable to see his internal struggle Bucky walked past him into the kitchen. Becca was in there as well lackluster stirring the pot of stew they're gonna have for dinner later.

Grabbing a cup Bucky needed something a little stronger than tea. With his ma always keeping her stuff in the same spots Bucky had an easy time locating the sherry bottle she used almost exclusively for her sauces. Well tonight it was gonna make a great addition to his hot chocolate. 

The combination turned out to be awful, but he emptied his cup anyway, ignoring his siblings curious looks. It was past noon, and he was an adult, he could have a spiked drink if he wanted to. "I don't think I'm gonna survive this." He blurted out, because shit was he bad at keeping secrets and it sucked that he couldn't talk to anyone about his conflicting feelings.

Becca watched Bucky with a faintly curious brow. Drinking wasn’t exactly taboo around here, but it was a little weird to see Bucky break it out before dinner. Not that she hadn’t seen Bucky struggling since he got here, hell, they’d been actively trying to poke a bear, but she hadn’t thought it’d drive Bucky to be so transparent. 

Hearing him say it out loud though, was gratifying. 

Instantly abandoning the pot, Becca hurried over. Of course, Alice had to pipe up on her way to get a glass of juice from the fridge, for herself and the tot. “Hey, you’re the idiot.” Alice replied ‘sweetly’.

“Shush, this ain’t your area.” Becca waved the youngest off. ”So you’re admitting it?” She ‘guided’ Bucky to sit at the table, so she could plop down beside him. ”I mean, it’s pretty obvious, but your denial game has been pretty strong.” For their mother to be actively encouraging this said it was pretty fucking obvious. Arguably, Winnie was the one orchestrating the worst of the meddling, which was saying something because Becca wasn’t trying to be subtle about it. 

"I'm trying to get over it and I'm doing a horrible job." Bucky admitted begrudgingly and glared at the empty bottom of his mug with all the grump he could muster.

“What’s stopping you?”

Was this how sitting in a courtroom felt like? Becca wasn't judging him, but she clearly wanted a confession while Bucky wanted another hot chocolate, hoping for the sugar rush to send him into a coma and buy him a few more months to sort through this growing pile of unsolved emotional tension.

"You want that list in numerical or alphabetical order?" Bucky huffed at her, averting his gaze to look up at his sister's face. "Steve's vulnerable, has been for a while and I'm not gonna take advantage of that. I don't want to be like those other Alphas that meddled with his life." Bucky finally gave a proper answer, but kept his voice low.

"And it's- it's too convenient, isn't it? Steve having a baby and me wanting a family. What if I'm just obsessing over him because he's having what I want? Sure, I have feelings, it's not just a physical thing..." That's one of the few things he's certain about. "But I don't know if he feels the same and I'm afraid it's going to ruin everything if I'm going to tell him. He's got enough on his plate already, don't need to add my pining ass on top of that." 

Getting all of those concerns and worries of his chest felt as relieving as it was crushing.

Becca’s face pinched as she listened. She hated hearing her brother going through a different kind of heart-ache so close after Dot had left him high and dry. Except, Bucky did raise a few good points. Bucky was still feeling Dot’s breakup, even if he was in a much better place now. Would Steve end up being a rebound?

And — None of them had wanted to pry how Steve ended up in his situation, but it couldn’t be good. Still, the two seemed to get along like old friends, despite the circumstances, so why the hell not? Becca wanted Bucky to be happy, so why not take a chance?

“Bucky — “ She reached out, gently squeezing Bucky’s forearm, which was rare since she usually rough-housed more than giving reassurances. ”At the risk of sounding corny, we’ve all had a front-row seat to how you two look at each other. Frankly, it’s sickening.” She smiled. ”You don’t care for him just for the pre-install. So don’t even try it.”

Bucky halfway expected Becca to punch his arm and call him out for being a coward, since that's how they tended to express their support for each other. The reassurance was a welcome surprise. Apparently he wasn't the only one becoming soft here.

"But that's the best excuse I have." Bucky grumbled in protest, because he needed to throw some sticks and stones in his way, to prevent him from chasing after Steve like the moron he was.

She pulled back enough to reach up and pinch him. ”And you don’t know what he wants, but that’s what your nosey little sis is for.” She bobbed her brows, wickedness in her eyes.

Rubbing the sore spot coddling-time seemed to be officially over and Bucky eyed his sister warily. "For the sake of...my sanity, please be subtle about it." There's no way to stop Becca, so he might as well encourage her to get some answers, that might ease his decision-making process. Hell, if Bucky knew he had a chance he wouldn't mope around in the kitchen, but sit next to Steve and kiss him silly until the rest of the family would get annoyed with them.

“Subtly is my middle name,” Becca replied sweetly and reluctantly turned her attention back towards the stove. She wasn’t even sure why she’d been put in charge of this, when she had the least culinary skills out of anyone in the family.

Putting away his dirty mug, Bucky gave up on hiding away and reluctantly re-entered the living room. Now that his dad was around he could talk to him about the car and suggest that one of the neighbors could help them to tow it back to the house, so he didn't have to work next to a field outside of town.

Bucky wasn't looking forward to going out again when he'd just warmed up, but he'd hate his future self would hate him for having to go in the morning instead. "We'll be back soon." He let Steve and the others know, briefly glancing towards Becca before slipping his jacket on.

Steve’s brows furrowed a little when he heard Bucky was going back out. It felt like they’d barely just gotten warm again. He was tempted to want to tag along, but he knew that was idiotic, borderlining on self-destructive. He just — didn’t like the idea of Bucky having to go back out and be uncomfortable, is all.

“Bring your phone,” Steve fretted, wiggling himself up off the couch. He snagged his thick scarf from the peg after Winnie hung it back up from the dryer. ”This one is warmer than yours is.” He threw it around Bucky’s neck and looped it loosely.

"Think I left it somewhere upstairs, but I'm not alone." Bucky assured Steve that he wouldn't be completely out of reach instead of telling him that they probably didn't have reception out there anyway. This whole town was one giant dead zone.

Steve knew Alphas ran warmer than Omegas, but the nesting instincts were worsening the closer it came to his due date, and he wanted everyone around him warm and comfortable. 

“Be careful.” Steve didn’t see Becca making a face behind him, cooing silently as she mimed clutching her heart.

"I'm not going on an Arctic expedition, Stevie." Bucky huffed without any real annoyance, already feeling warmed by the gesture itself. It was by far the biggest scarf he'd ever worn and the dryer hadn't managed to get rid of Steve's scent, clinging to every fiber.

"Don't worry, we'll be back soon.” Bucky responded, a faint flush spreading over his cheeks due to Becca's antics in the background. She's clearly just jealous about not getting coddled as much.

Fresh snow started to fall on their way over to the Smith's house. Their neighbor immediately agreed to help them out, driving them back out to the field where they managed to attach a towline and get the car in front of their home. They manually pushed the last few meters into the garage where it wouldn't get buried beneath a thick layer of snow.

"I'm gonna take a look at your old lady tomorrow, but you should really consider investing in a new one dad." Bucky told his father, because every car had its limit, no matter how well the owner cared for it. 

Brushing off the snow from their clothes as good as possible before entering the heated home Bucky left his soggy shoes by the door and hung up his jacket and Steve's scarf. The latter which he'd been rather grateful for, considering that the fabric had covered most of his face and prevented his nose from freezing off.

Becca had watched as Steve fret over the hour, his scent giving him away despite his otherwise calm demeanor. It became a bit of a sport to shoot looks between them, soft smirked smiles shared amongst the family. The idiots might be struggling along, but everyone else could see the outcome from a mile away.

In the end, Winnie had decided to give him something to do, and he went into the kitchen to help prepare the remaining touches for dinner. Steve sat at the dinner table, macerating the frozen fruit with sugar for a pie.

"Alright, I think we've earned our dinner." Bucky exclaimed while rubbing his hands together. The smell of food had wandered from the kitchen into the living room and his stomach gave a low, little rumbling sound.

Steve’s head perked when he heard the door open, relief flickering in his eyes. He hefted himself up and walked to the door frame to peer into the hall, “Tea?” Since it was a bit late for coffee, he would elbow Bucky in the stomach if Bucky kept him up all night with the jitters.

"Yes. Anything but the green one, please." Bucky added, since his parents had several kinds to choose from and half of them tasted like tree bark.

Steve rolled his eyes a little at Bucky’s distaste for green tea. Becca snickered at Steve’s put upon ‘It’s good for you’ as he walked off, still set on making Bucky’s tea. Bucky drank his sweeter than Steve did, something he’d found out on an unfortunate day he’d gotten their mugs confused. Steve was the kind of person that barely sweetened his with honey, and reframed from milk. Which was vastly different from how he drank coffee, though he wasn’t even allowed the decaf kind round now because of the acidity.

Trailing after Steve into the kitchen Bucky's attention quickly shifted to the fruits Steve had been preparing. He fetched up one of the blueberries and popped them into his mouth, which was around the same time that he found out that it hadn't been out of the freezer long enough yet.

"That's what you get for always noshing first." His ma reprimanded him when she saw him making a face.

"Someone gotta make sure it's edible." Bucky defended, uttering a brief thanks when Steve handed him a steaming cup. Unsurprisingly Steve's fingers felt almost as cold as his own, though he'd stayed inside. He should make him hold the cup a bit longer instead of preparing cold berries.

His ma managed to pull off another big dinner and Bucky dug into it as enthusiastically as during the previous day. Tomorrow morning they're going to exchange their gifts and the following day they'd be on their flight back home again. Time passed way too fast, making Bucky wish that Steve and him could stay in this festive bubble for a little longer, but they both had to return to their jobs.

Like yesterday, Steve ate more than he should have, though he did well keeping away from foods his doctor had forbidden, even if he really wanted them. He couldn’t risk any spikes in his blood pressure, and eating too much was already toeing the line.

He did better than Bucky, not the best guideline to have, but it was one he’d take.

"I think you're not the only pregnant guy in this house anymore..." Bucky informed Steve while they're getting ready for bed, petting his full stomach. It looked like he'd swallowed the whole turkey and then some. Fourth month at least. Geez, he really had to hit the gym after the holidays, not just walking past them and silently judge those guys who only worked on their biceps.

“I told you to stop but you had to have that second piece of pie,” Steve snorted, reaching over to poke Bucky’s stomach like the Pillsbury doughboy. 

"No regrets." Bucky muttered, half-heartedly swatting at Steve's offending finger like a lazy cat.

Steve stayed in most of his layers except his pants, shivering slightly as he hurried over to scramble into the bed. ”How mad would you be on the percent chance I get milk everywhere? That nursing bra is killing me.” His nipples felt sore and puffy, and if it wasn’t for the obvious salaciousness of it he’d sit there and rub coconut oil on them for the next two hours just to get some relief.

"This is my childhood bed Steve, it had to endure worse than a bit of spilled milk." Bucky commented while he wrestled his pants over his thighs. He didn't miss the scandalized look Steve was shooting him, almost making him lose his balance and topple over. "I was talking about alcohol, not spunk, you nasty. Point is you don't need to wear your bra if it's uncomfortable." He answered Steve's initial question, kicking off his pants with a triumphant noise. Much better.

Steve snickered helplessly as Bucky hopped in after him after watching the Alpha struggle with his pants. It was hard to remember that he used to think Bucky was unapproachably cool when he’d seen him the first couple of times. Now he just saw Bucky as a regular dork, albeit a very attractive one. It was hard to keep that ‘too cool for school’ look when Steve had seen Bucky eat a cheerio that had fallen on his boxer shorts during a lazy Sunday morning before.

Joining Steve in bed after changing into his sleep shirt, Bucky turned out the lights and started to get comfortable. "You know I lied. Totally jerked it here." He smirked with a snicker, knowing very well the statement was likely getting him punched or kicked.

Bucky absolutely earned a smack as Steve scrunched his nose in disgust. ”God, don’t make me think about a teenage-you making socks crusty while I’m trying to go to sleep. You’re going to scar the kid.” Despite the unpleasant image of what all this poor bed had been subjected to, Steve settled readily, puffing out a relieved sigh.

About to fall into a food coma a few minutes later Bucky remembered that he should probably give Steve a little heads up regarding his clingy tendency.

"Hey Steve..." Bucky murmured, nudging the other's shoulder to get his attention. "I might accidentally end up spooning you during the night, so feel free to shove me away if I'm getting too much into your space. "There, one thing less to worry about.

“Hmm?” He mumbled, peering an eye open to look over at Bucky. ”Your funeral, Barnes, my elbows are lethal weapons.” Good, that meant Bucky hadn’t realized how close they were that morning.

Bucky didn't end up protectively curled around Steve's back that night. Instead, his body on autopilot decided that it would be much better to bury his face in Steve's chest, adding drool to the spots of half-dried milk that were already there.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for presents! Everyone gets one in this chap <3

Steve woke much the same way he had the day before. He yawned quietly with the dawn barely streaming in through the windows, warm and comfortable.

Then he felt heat on his chest and only the instinctual knowledge that he was safe kept him from trying to launch himself from the bed. He blinked down at the messy strands of dark hair tucked up under his chin and the weight of Bucky pressed against him. 

Bucky exhaled again, puffing too-warm air on a drool-damp nipple. Steve swallowed a squeak, toes curling. This was much worse than yesterday. He could already smell how much even having someone in the proximity of his chest had spurred him to leaking, and he wondered what percentage ratio his shirt had drool to milk.

Another exhale and Steve shivered, “Buck,” He hated to wake Bucky so early, but if he didn’t get Bucky off of him soon they were going to have an issue. He was already half-hard from just needing to pee, and every exhale threatened to perk him right up. ”Buck wake up, I gotta pee.”

Bucky was having an amazing dream, involving milkshake ponds and no pants, his subconsciousness being rather unimaginative and simply inserting some details of his current surroundings.

_Bucky_

Nooo. He wanted to take one more dive-

The persistent repetition of his name dragged him back into reality, no matter how much he tried to stay under. Uttering a displeased groan, Bucky turned his head, scruffy cheek rubbing over damp fabric.

"We're on vacation...", he managed to string together a sentence in protest. Surely they could sleep for a bit longer. Bucky couldn't even hear his ma knocking and demanding for him to get his ass up. Tiredly blinking his eyes open Bucky's sleep-hazy brain noticed that his pillow had changed colors overnight, had become flat and was moving? There's also a very rapid heartbeat?

This time Steve didn’t quite manage to suppress the noise that Bucky’s chin dragging against a nipple squeezed out of him. It felt like someone touching the tip of a small-volt battery against the tip of it, jolting him somewhere between pain and pleasure. Every little shift and word from Bucky was a bit like torture. The last thing he wanted was a weird boner in Bucky’s bed when they’d just laughed about teen-age Bucky jerking it last night.

Oh fuck. The realization that he'd been sleeping on Steve's chest of all possible places to rest his head felt like a cold bucket of water down Bucky’s back, making him recoil in embarrassment. With his bed only offering a limited amount of space Bucky almost fell out, halfway dangling over the edge. The fall wouldn't be very deep, but he didn't want to make an even bigger fool out of himself.

They're supposed to have a relaxed Christmas Morning, but instead Steve had been woken up by Bucky mildly...motor boating him. Bucky was silently praying to be struck by lightning, face flushing brighter than any of his ma's Christmas decorations. "Oh God, I'm so sorry." He croaked out an apology.

Oh thank god, Bucky finally moved. 

Steve cupped grateful hands against his sodden chest as he wiggled to sitting up, grimacing at the combo dried-milk and Bucky-drool sticking to him. He didn’t know if it was Bucky’s cuddly nature or the pheromones coming off the milk, but Steve thought he should have known better than that. Uncomfortable bra or not, this was a little mortifying. 

“‘S okay, just sore as hell,” Steve offered a relieved sigh. ”Definitely going to have to shower now.” He tried to keep things light as he plucked his shirt off his chest lightly, keeping the fabric away from his poor nipples.

Forcing himself to play it cool, though he'd lost all of it seconds ago Bucky tried not to freak out about the taste of milk in his mouth. Surely it wasn't- he just had gotten a face full of the scent and his senses were confused. Christ, he didn't even want to consider a scenario in which he'd lapped Steve's milk off his shirt. Mostly 'cause it was going to give him the most inappropriate hard on and if it was possible to die of shame it's going to happen here and now.

"Yeah, you can go first.", Bucky agreed, not making eye contact with Steve or his sticky shirt. His hormones were running wild and he should play it safe, popping two of his scent-blockers. They did a great job of hiding his emotions, though they had zero impact on his horny lizard brain.

“Get me my robe will you?” Steve wasn’t about to go parading around shirtless and he didn’t want to put a fresh one on to go shower. It wasn’t as if shirtless male Omegas were exactly frowned upon, but with him being pregnant and all, it was pretty scandalous outside of the bedroom or his own house.

Wiping the leftover drool from his chin Bucky hurried away to get Steve the requested robe from the bath, relieved when he didn't run into any other family member before he got the chance to deep clean his face. He handed the fuzzy blue article of clothing over and went for his bag, looking for something to wear for his upcoming walk of shame. 

Steve dragged his shirt off with a relieved sigh, desperately wanting to massage his chest but wise enough to wait until he got in the shower to do so.

Curse his peripheral vision for letting him witness Steve slipping out of his shirt, the image of his stiff pink, nipples getting burned into his retina. It looked like a scene straight of a homemade porn video and yup, that's his dick rapidly hardening against his thigh.

Bucky was avoiding eye contact like a pro and Steve couldn’t even blame him. Not when Steve could scent himself literally all over Bucky’s face. This was quite possibly even worse than when Bucky was in rut, because at least they had an excuse to act weird around each other, this was just awkward and they couldn’t blame their full biology on it which meant they had shitty impulse control. 

Steve hurriedly wiggled himself to the end of the bed, thanking the thick blanket for hiding his arousal until he could wrestle his robe on. He hoped the intensity of the milk-scent drowned out his traitorous dick. He was just glad he hadn’t gotten so worked up he’d started to slick, which he might have thrown himself out the window for. 

“Thanks.” He didn’t take time to bring a change of clothes, deciding he would just get dressed when Bucky took his turn in the bathroom. He grabbed his toiletry bag and hurried away, locking himself in the bathroom with a quiet whine. 

“Chris.,” Steve wiggled a moment , tempted to reach between his legs, but there was no fucking way he was stinking up Bucky’s parent’s house with his arousal smell. Even with the plug-in scent suppressor in the outlet, it wouldn’t counteract the potency of a pregnant unmated Omega. Resigning himself to a cold shower, Steve stripped.

Scrubbing at his face in annoyance Bucky’s desperate actions did nothing, but keep up the unhealthy looking shade of red. Steve's abandoned shirt was taunting him, laying in a crumpled heap on the floor and smelled...so good that it made Bucky squirm. 

Channeling all of his fragile self-control he prevented himself from crawling over to scent the hell out of that dirty shirt. What kind of stupid idea was that anyway? Steve wasn't even wearing the shirt anymore. A frustrated growl slipped past his lips and he bit his tongue, silencing the traitorous sound.

Joking about how he used to get off had been fun when he wasn't about to involuntarily cream his shorts. Now it was just embarrassing that he had to choose his pants, considering which hid his erection the best. 

Bucky sneaked a hand between his thighs, pressing the heel of his hand into his throbbing crotch in a weak attempt to physically crush his libido. All he got for his troubles was a spike of arousal and a bitten off groan. Fuck, this was just as bad as his rut, except that had at least been an excellent excuse. 

He decided to go for a breathing exercise next and picturing the disapproving faces of his parents. Merry fucking Christmas.

Twenty minutes and one frigid shower later, Steve felt a little more in control of himself. He couldn’t believe he let himself be that open and relaxed that it allowed that kind of situation. Even if he liked to think that maybe they’d risen beyond their biology and allowed a peaceable friendship between an Alpha and an Omega, they were still unmated and Steve was a ball of hormones. Of course things like this were going to happen. It...didn’t have to mean anything. Just like Bucky being in rut had been understandable. Biology could just suck like that sometimes.

Sighing, he tied his robe and made his way back to the room. His nose scrunched lightly. ”…we might need to spray the room down.”, he noted to Bucky as he bent awkwardly to get at his suitcase. After a few seconds he gave up and plopped himself down on the floor, busying himself with putting fresh pads in the shelf of his nursing bra.

The room still smelled like now-stale milk, and Steve wasn’t keen on everyone in the house having to get a big nose-full of him if they walked by the room. Not that he didn’t think they weren’t used to it with Marie having given birth before, but Steve didn’t want to be the outsider stinking up their house. Family smells were different. 

Steve picked a Christmas-themed hoodie and plaid pajama pants for Christmas morning, since no one in their right mind wore jeans around the tree. Even his mother, as proper as she was about being presentable, had opted for pajamas on Christmas when they could afford to celebrate it.

"I'll look for some scent-neutralizer.” Bucky nodded along, rising to his feet with a sweater and strategically holding it in front of his still bulging shorts. He just needed a cold shower 's all. 

Shuffling past Steve Bucky didn't take another look and risk seeing Steve topless or in his cute bra. He went straight for the bath, locked himself up and quickly stepped out of his clothes and into the shower. Closing his eyes he used the shower gel on his face for the first time and very thoroughly in hope that the lavender would beat the strong milk scent. Bucky considered putting the previously mentioned scent-neutralizer on as well, but that wasn't so great an idea and his skin might melt off his face.

The easiest way to take care of his erection would obviously be the cold water treatment. Now Bucky was thinking that he could keep blue balling himself or...he could jerk off real quick and hopefully feel a lot less hot and bothered in general. It was a very logical plan and no one had to find out.

Mostly convinced of his genius idea Bucky wrapped his fingers around his length, and gave it a few strokes. He had no time to waste, teasing and rubbing all the sensitive spots that made his toes curl and his breath hitch in pleasure. Bucky tried to keep his mind blank or at least didn't allow it any scenarios involving Steve. He could picture any other small, blonde Omega with pretty tits and how he's gonna cover his chest with his cum. 

A few minutes was all it took before his hips slowed down from thrusting into the tight, wet channel of his fist, muffling his satisfied groans in the crook of his arm. And well, it worked. His dick hung limp between his legs when he emerged from the shower, toweling himself dry before putting his clothes back on. 

Rummaging through the shelves he found the little spray bottle he's looking for, walking back to his room with the window opened and Steve fully dressed. Much better.

Steve looked over his shoulder with a small smile nestled around the mouth of his daily morning inhaler. He’d been able to start back on a few of the medications he could afford until his insurance fully kicked in and he could get back on all of them. He never liked taking a handful of pills morning and night before, but now he was looking forward to it. After feeling what it was like to have relief and then going back to this? He’d take the frustrating pill planner any day. 

After holding the medication in his lungs for a moment he breathed out a grateful sigh. “You going to nap a little longer?” He figured Bucky might want to pass back out now that he’d cleaned up. It was still ridiculously early, and he only heard a few sounds of life from the floor below, probably Winnie or apparently Alice who was also an early riser.

Bucky used to be low-key worried whenever he saw Steve holding onto his inhaler, but by now it was a common sight, and he didn't hear an audible struggle in Steve’s breathing, so he didn’t worry.

"Nah, I'm awake now. Might check on the car and surprise my dad by having it fixed before the big present exchange." Bucky told Steve while he used the scent-neutralizer on the bed. A weak scent of milk remained, yet much more subtle than it had been when they'd first woken up.

“I’m going to go down and see if I can help Winnie with anything.” Getting up from the floor took some doing, but he was used to the weird shuffle and having to reach out to steady himself on something. 

"Busy bumblebee. Don't overwork yourself." Bucky reminded his very pregnant friend, watching him struggle to get back on his feet.

“And no peeking,” Steve warned, pulling out a wrapped package from his bag and hiding it behind his back. He was looking forward to giving Bucky his present, though the physical one was easy. The metaphorical gift — that was one he was nervous over. He wasn’t sure how it would go over, but he felt strongly about it, no matter what.

"Not even getting a hint? Is it for the kitchen?" Bucky tried to make an elaborate guess, peering at Steve with curious eyes, though the gift was already out of sight.

"Fine, I'm gonna be patient.", he quickly relented, having his own share of presents to place beneath the tree. With that being said he let Steve leave first before he put on some sweats that could get dirty and made his way into the garage, where the temperature immediately dropped. The light bulb flickered to life, illuminating the cramped space and he went to work, finding the tools he needed standing ready in a box on the side.

Steve grumbled about being called a 'bumblebee' all the way down the stairs, considering he was about as round as one. He detoured to tuck the present under the treat, already having given the obligatory 'family gift' of good wine a store clerk had recommended to him when they arrived. 

He stepped back, looking at the poofy, well-decorated tree with a small smile. It was beautiful. It felt well and truly like Christmas, one he'd never had before. 

-  
Partway through the morning Alice breezed into the garage, wearing thick athletic wear and breathing controlled breaths. 

"Sup, buttercup." She plopped her butt onto an old overturned bucket and fished her thermos from her hoodie pocket. 

"You're up early."

"Hey Road Runner." Bucky greeted his sister in return, bent over under the hood of the car and poking around.  
"Not by choice...", he muttered under his breath, yet not quite enough that Alice couldn't hear him in the otherwise quiet garage. Without having to angle his head to look at her, Bucky knew that she's waiting for an explanation, but did he really want to repeat the embarrassing story to her? Not like his sister wasn't joking about him and his strange behavior around Steve anyway. He might as well feed the sharks.

"I woke up with a face full of...milk." There, saying it out loud it didn't sound that bad, right? Better than Steve getting sick and having to throw up their previous dinner.

"This is probably TMI, but you asked, so it's your own fault. I just didn't expect to react to the scent the way I did. I mean it's all for the baby, but it felt like a pheromone bomb had blown up and I'm not going into further detail. It was hard. Literally." Bucky stated, checking the oil level in an attempt to hide his reddened ears.

Alice made all the appropriate nods and hums of listening as Bucky explained. She made a good show of being passive through Bucky's embarrassment, deceptively cherubic face the picture of a concerned sibling.

Until Bucky stopped talking, and she laughed in his face. "Milk? Ohmygod, Becca is going to die.", she tittered gleefully. 

"What did you expect, you big idiot? Did you forget health class or something? That milk has like — a cocktail of hormones in it." Usually for 'mother' and child bonding, but it was well known that Alpha's licked and soothed their Omega's sore chests using their own calming hormones produced in their saliva in response to their Omega's pregnancy. 

"No one listened to what the teachers told us during health class! We all just giggled over the pictures of naked people and drew dicks in our textbooks." Bucky defended his lack of knowledge, because not everyone could be a nerd like Alice.

"You dipshits being so close is chemical warfare. God, I can't imagine how much you'd reek if you weren't on suppressors." She shuddered, not wanting to think about her brother's funk.

"Yeah, that's a pretty good comparison." And they're going to spend one more night at his parent's house before going back to Brooklyn in their separate beds. "I'm just gonna crash on the couch tonight or I might end up...I don't know, sucking on him." 

“You have Omega sisters, you didn’t think to read a book?” She shook her head and approached.”I’m sure your Alpha-drive going to sleep real well on the couch tonight,”, she smirked, knowing full well that her brother was well and truly fucked.

"No offense, Liz but I didn't care much about my siblings hormones and the Omegas I got close with so far weren't pregnant. This is all news to me." He pointed out with an eye roll of his own. Two could play this game and see whose eyeballs got stuck first.

Alice rolled her eyes. Why were half of her siblings insufferable? Becca and Bucky matched up well, but it was always her and Marie that tended to have similar thought patterns. Mainly that the other two were exhausting.

The thing was Bucky could hold back when he's awake, but sleep lowered his inhibition to zero and he started to act on instincts. His instincts were clearly telling him that his mate needed to be taken care of. Unfortunately Steve wasn't his mate, nor did he need Bucky to slobber all over his chest. He had the fancy coconut oil Bucky had gotten him. It had been a wild ride, standing in the pharmacy uselessly staring at a row of products until the pharmacist had offered her help. 

“And yet I have to know everything about Alphas,” Alice grumbled through a quiet growl. ”The least you can do is learn about Omegas if you’re going moony-eyed. Stop being a stereotype.” Like most kids her age, she was getting chafed raw at the inequality among the designations. Her and Steve had already had a rousing conversation that had led to him having to take a few minutes to calm his blood pressure down. All in all, Alice had to say she liked who Bucky decided to get so gone on. 

"I'm working on it!" No need to ride his ass like that. Bucky was willing to learn and did everything to slip into stereotypical roles, but sometimes it happened anyway. Alice had every right to guilt trip him, didn't mean he had to like it.

"Shit, still need to take my pills." Bucky suddenly remembered his blockers, now that Alice had mentioned them. No way was Steve or his family allowed to smell the emotional turmoil he's going through right now. 

"Do me a favor and try to ignite the engine?"

“If you mean ‘start the car’ sure, as long as you cram some pills in your face before we have to smell you all day.” She hopped in the car. ”I am kind of serious though, since Steve can’t be on suppressors, you’re going to be living next to him after the kid is born? You think you can handle that?” If Bucky was already acting this territorial, she couldn’t imagine what would happen once Steve started wafting bonding hormones.

She turned the car key, smiling as the engine purred to life.”She still sounds like a hunk of junk, but she lives again.”

"Geez, I'm on it." He assured her, closely listening to the sounds of the car, then closing the hood again and giving it an affection pat. The old lady had pulled herself together, but Alice was right, his father had to get a new one. Otherwise, replacing the insides bit by bit would cost almost the same amount.

"I mean what else am I supposed to do?" He replied with a helpless shrug, wiping his slightly greasy hands on his pants. "Ain't gonna move away."

Steve was his best friend and he had a lot of other neighbors there he liked too. Somehow he's going to deal with the situation. There's no way to prepare for what's going to come, so he had to roll with it and adapt. Or maybe there were other meds he could take that would make him feel...less attracted to Steve? Not like he'd ever looked into that kind of suppressor. Bucky only knew he couldn't get the regular ones without experiencing some shitty side effects.

"Let's get back inside." He prompted, planning to take his daily dose and clean up. 

She slid out of the truck and followed after, splintering off to jog upstairs and change clothes. 

Steve was perched on a high stool near the counter, taking a steaming waffle from the maker while Winnie bustled to and fro. He turned to spy Bucky in the hallway, nose crinkling.   
”You’re going to have to shower again before you get anywhere near a plate. You’re greasy!”  
Secretly, Steve loved that Bucky always smelled like metal and a hint of oil. In the absence of Bucky’ real smell, it acted as a pseudo scent that Steve liked to whiff from Bucky before he showered off a day’s work. He’d never say that out loud because it was creepy as hell, but he couldn’t help himself. He was pregnant dammit, he could sniff what he wanted.

Bucky would've bristled at anyone else calling him out on his stench right now. When Steve was scolding him it sounded...affectionate. This was probably just his imagination or him projecting, yet it helped not to snap back at the remark.

"Yeees, darling." Bucky drawled in return, poorly imitating a British accent before retreating into the bath for the second time that morning. It took some time to get the grease out from under his nails and he put on his last pair of fresh, stain free pants. There, he's fresh a meadow during spring and heavily dosed with his blockers.

Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky’s antics but still chuckled quietly as he went about making more waffles. It felt so much like the times where one of them would shuffle into each other’s apartment out of sheer laziness to cobble together breakfast before they started their day.

In fact, he hadn’t really noticed just how many meals they’d started sharing together in general. Or how much of their free time was occupied within each other’s apartments. It was no wonder people thought something was going on there, which was quietly frustrating. They could just be friends. It was allowed!

By the time he was done mentally arguing with himself, Bucky came back down.

Coming up behind Steve, Bucky leaned his head over the Steve's shoulder, watching him work the waffle maker as if he's creating new a artwork, which he kinda did. 

"We should get one of those for home..."

Bucky’s wording nearly skipped Steve’s hand from his even pour. He knew Bucky meant ‘home’ as in their own state. Building. Or floor. A metaphorical blanket term for their respective apartments, but it sounded so much like insinuating something else with Bucky leaning so close that Steve’s heart leaped hard in his chest. 

“Y-yeah,” He agreed whole-heartedly as casually as he could manage when his scent gave away pleased, cared for Omega scent all over the place.

Bucky didn't care in which kitchen the waffle maker was going to end up. Whenever he needed something he went over to Steve's place and the other way around. On occasions when Bucky couldn't find his favorite mug or bowl they always turned up at his friend's apartment.

Pulling his head back before the urge to nuzzle Steve's neck could grow too strong, Bucky fetched some plates and toppings for the waffles. As much as he wanted to devour a whole tower of Steve's golden creations, dinner from the other day was still weighing him down a little and he put his fork down after finishing two and a half pieces.

The family migrated to the living room and finally the main event of Christmas was about to begin. A bunch of presents crowded around the tree. Bucky played Santa's not so little helper, handing out presents that matched the person's name on the tag, keeping one for himself.

For Steve, Sitting on the couch with all of Bucky’s family hammered in the surreal sensation of being with a family on Christmas morning. Becca was as happy as Marie’s child about Christmas, and Alice was doing a poor job of showing how interested she was in the proceedings.

Becca's scrawl was easy to recognize, and he gave the wrapped up box a little shake before tearing away the paper. Becca had gotten him a pair of black biker gloves, which were in fact the only item he's missing to complete the outfit. He couldn't wait to take his baby for a ride in spring. This time without freezing off his fingers. "Thanks Bec, that's so thoughtful of you." He cooed at her with a pleased grin.

He'd made sure not to give Steve his own present first, but the one from his parents instead. Bucky had told them not to go too big and hopefully they'd listened or Steve would claim he couldn't accept his gift.

As it turned out there's no need to worry. Colorful fabrics with different prints were revealed, including a book about how to sew baby clothes and stuff. Bucky had mentioned...maybe a few times too many that Steve had a talent and planned to create most of the items the baby was going to need himself. Not just to save money, but because he genuinely enjoyed doing something with his own two hands.

Steve never expected to be getting presents, maybe from Bucky, but when Bucky dropped a wrapped box from his parents into Steve’s lap, he blinked in surprise.

When he opened it, a quiet gasp left him, and they were hit with another wave of exceptionally happy and touched Omega, not that Becca would complain, even though it did make her really hungry for baked goods. The one good thing about Omegas was that they never smelled as delicious to each other as they did to other designations. It was pleasant, but not distracting. 

Bucky was stuck in a feedback loop, because everytime Steve filled the room with the scent of his happiness he could feel his own brain light up with joy like a second Christmas tree.

After profusely thanking them(Steve would have gotten up for a hug, could he do that easily), Steve picked up the package he’d gotten for Bucky, along with the card. “The card is last.” His cheeks flushed when saying it, but he couldn’t help but be nervous. It was a big thing that he wasn’t sure Bucky was going to be happy over, but he could hope. The package though, Steve was immensely proud of. Quilting the blanket without Bucky’s knowledge hadn’t been easy, but he’d taken some of the ratty shirts Bucky had whined about having to get rid of and quilted them into an amazingly soft blanket, complete with the logo of Bucky’s garage in the middle. He felt it was a good medium between ‘adult blanket’ and ‘bachelor pad’ to fit with Bucky’s couch now that all the decor Bucky’s ex had gotten was gone.

"Okay, wait a sec." Bucky replied and gave him his present in return, so they could open them simultaneously. There's no correct order to open it, since he'd wrapped everything into one bundle, consisting of a sketch book and a watercolor brush pen set. Bucky had gone to a real store to buy them, worried that if he'd order the supplies online he might pick a bad brand or paper that was supposed to be used for regular pencils. It had been the right decision, and he hoped Steve was going to like them, maybe make a few drawings for the baby or just himself.

Freeing his gift from the colorful paper, Bucky's fingers came in contact with soft fabric, and he stood up to fully spread out the quilt. "Oh wow, that's amazing. You recycled my shirts!" Bucky noticed with a chuckle. He'd assumed they're beyond repair and although they were his favorites he eventually agreed to get rid of them.

And the centerpiece! 

"I love it, thank you Stevie." He said with a bright smile, folding the blanket back up and putting it on his lap after he sat back down. 

Steve swore he hated that nickname as much as he loved it. Not even his mother had called him something so childish. It had always been Steven. But not Bucky, Bucky had to outdo himself and call him ‘Stevie’, which made Steve equal parts indignant and warm. It was his best friend’s special nickname for it, even if he knew Bucky had started it just to get a rise out of him. 

“Now you can stop stealing my favorite quilt on movie night!”, he teased, missing the little coo Becca shot her sisters, though Becca made no attempt to cover Bucky’s line of sight from it. 

"I'm gonna do that anyway." Bucky replied shit-eating smirk. Fighting over the quilt was part of their movie night routine. That and arguing whose turn it was to prepare snacks.

Bucky hadn't forgotten about the envelope. If it were a Christmas card there's no point in opening it last...maybe a coupon?

The envelope had nothing but his name on it and on the inside was an inconspicuous piece of paper with more of Steve's distinct handwriting on it.

Steve shouldn’t have let his eyes pull from Bucky, because of course Bucky had to go and open the envelope he’d said to open last. Maybe he should have said, absolute last.

“Buck, you jerk, I meant last last!” But it was too late now.

_’I know this is probably a lot to ask, so that’s why I had to write it down or else I’d never be able to._

_Bucky, you’ve been my best friend since that night on the fire escape where I snot-cried and you didn’t immediately run away. Without you, I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now. You’ve been a lifesaver not only to me but the little princess in my belly._

_That’s why I wanted to ask you. Don’t feel obligated to say yes, no pressure. It’s just, I can’t imagine asking anyone else. Will you be my child’s Godparent?’_

Ignoring Steve's protest Bucky's eyes had already skimmed over the first few lines, unable to bring himself to stop now. Rules were meant to be broken or whatever. The further he read the more Bucky understood that it'd have been a smart move to keep the letter for last. No other gift would be able to keep up with the one he'd just received.

Bucky had been over the moon when Marie asked him to be Macy's Godfather. He loved her to pieces, but the big downside was that he couldn't see her a lot. Also his sister was his blood and it made sense to ask one of her siblings...but Steve was- for him this was a different kind of choice. Asking someone who wasn't his blood or mate to take care of his baby girl. To trust him with her after all his bad experiences with other Alphas. 

Bucky would've looked after them, Godparent or not, yet he felt incredibly touched that Steve wanted him to officially be a part of his little family, almost as if...giving him a child of his own. So yeah, Bucky had every right to feel emotional unstable once he finished reading the letter.

The longer Bucky read the letter, the more nervous and embarrassed Steve’s scent grew. 

"Damn...my present is gonna suck in comparison to that." Bucky gave a shaky laugh, blinking back the tears that gathered in the corner of his eyes.

“What is it, read it out loud!” Becca whined, unable to keep the curiosity from her voice, not when Steve’s scent was doing that, and Bucky’s face got so funny.

"Privacy of correspondence." He told Becca, not intending to read out everything for his family, though he didn't mind a brief summary.

"Yes, I'd love to..." He finally answered Steve, meeting his eyes. "Be her Godparent. Thank you for-" Considering him worthy. 

Pulling Steve into a hug without further warning, Bucky pressed his face into Steve's bony shoulder, letting the soft sweater absorb the few tears he shed. Urgh, he hated to cry in front of others, but it was worth it.

Steve would feel bad for bombarding the family with all his usual warm smells spiced with candied citrus later. The moment Bucky made a joke, Steve knew what answer was coming. He’d spent enough time around Bucky to know his expression right now, and the letter had hit Bucky in the emotions.

Steve readily accepted the hug while the family gasped and exchanged pleased smiles around them. Buck wasn’t alone in the waterworks, but Steve had long given up being as self-conscious about it, considering his past year. “Thanks, Buck.” He murmured, squeezing his friend’s shoulders.

Steve hoped it wouldn’t affect Bucky negatively. He knew asking an unmated Alpha to be a Godparent to an unmated Omega’s child was pretty strange, and he hoped whoever Bucky dated in the future didn’t feel threatened or held it against Bucky. Dot would have no doubt hated it, but she wasn’t around now (thankfully). Steve couldn’t imagine Bucky out of his life now, and he hoped that his child would care for Bucky as much as he did. 

That...and he knew Bucky had a lot of love to give. Bucky would be amazing with her, and Steve knew Bucky would genuinely be happy, which touched Steve the most. He never expected his life to change so dramatically when he’d first moved in, but now things felt so good that for the first time in a long while, Steve was well and truly happy. 

“I didn’t expect to cry on Christmas,” Becca piped up with a quiet chuckle, dabbing at her eyes with the edge of her sweatshirt, though she wasn’t the only one. She didn’t think anyone had quite expected that, but it was a nice turn of events. 

"It's his secret power." Bucky noted with an affectionate smile, glad that he wasn't the only one who felt the impact. His family had accepted Steve, pretty much right away and there hadn't been much doubt, but he felt pleased about it nevertheless.

Honestly, Bucky’s family was lucky he'd taken his scent-blockers or there wouldn't be a single oxygen molecule left in the air by now. Bucky pulled back, eyes slightly red-rimmed, but looking happy overall and kept a tight hold of the letter.

A huge wave of relief hit Steve when the family seemed supportive. He’d been afraid that asking something so big of Bucky when they were both unmated was going a step too far. Once again, the Barnes’ family warmth and generosity threatened to choke Steve up further.

"Alright, keep going, there are lots of presents left." Bucky encouraged Steve and his family. 

From his dad he got a book full of riddles, Sudoku and crossword puzzles, while his ma had gotten him a few things for the kitchen including her special spice mix. With the new workout clothes he received from Alice, Bucky no longer had an excuse to avoid the gym. It would be a tight fit to stuff all of his presents into his bag. If necessary they'd just have to wear several layers, onion style.

Snuffling into his sweatshirt Steve chuckled wetly as everyone went on with their morning. Alice almost immediately ditched everyone when she was gifted with new ice skates, and Steve was pretty sure the teen possessed the ability to be gifted at every sport known to mankind. He could imagine how pissed that probably made some Alphas at her school.

It came to be his turn and he accepted the present from Bucky with a note of curiosity. Bucky was generally a fantastic gift-giver, if not overly generous to a fault. Steve could appreciate the occasional helping hand, but sometimes he had to swat Bucky away and tell him to mind his business.

They'd agreed to a price limit for their gifts, nothing too expensive, but Bucky might've overstepped the line a little. What's the point in buying decent drawing utensils if Steve had to use them on a crappy canvas? The sketchbook had been necessary and that's exactly what he was going to tell Steve if his friend was inevitably starting to argue that his present was too much (again).

So maybe Bucky felt the urge to make up for all the damage Gilmore had done, despite none of it being his own fault. He just thought Steve deserved all those things after getting barely anything for a long time. His ex had called Steve's drawings silly doodles and other disdainful things until Steve started to feel insecure over his art. Bucky only found out about it by nagging Steve that he wanted to see what he's doing and relentlessly reassuring him that his drawings looked great. He had talent and for whatever fucked up reason Gilmore had tried to put Steve off continuing his hobby.

Steve set to opening the package, never one to just tear into something and leave a mess he undid the tape first, much to Becca’s quiet groaning. Half the room was a mess of paper from the toddler and four out of three of the Barnes’ offspring.

Steve took his time bringing Bucky on the edge of anticipation although he knew what's inside. Next time Steve was going to get his gift in a bag...

Steve peeled back the paper and his breath caught, a slow, touched smile deepening over his pale pink lips. He finished unwrapping the package, running his fingers over the container holding the array of fine art pencils. He’d never owned pencils this nice before, even back in highschool when he was drawing the most. He’d just never been able to afford spending over thirty dollars on a set.

“Buck…” He held the pencils and sketchpad to his chest. ”Thank you.” He didn’t argue, for once, because he knew it was fruitless. Furthermore, he knew exactly the first thing he would draw today while sitting on the Barnes’ couch, watching the warmth and kindness of the people laughing and carrying on around him.

"You're very welcome. No pressure, but I want that sketchbook to be filled until your...let's say birthday. That's a realistic goal, right?" Bucky returned with an easygoing smile of his own, bumping their shoulders together. Honestly as long as Steve had fun and an outlet for his creativity Bucky would be happy. 

“Easy.”, Steve promised, knowing he’d fill this sketchbook up way before July rolled around. Now that he’d rekindled his love for old hobbies and had some time to do them, it felt like coming home. Things weren’t perfect, far from it really, but Steve had a life now. Friends, a place of his own, a job that didn’t cost him his body, and a best friend that was there for him more than he ever deserved. 

Macy had gotten a more artsy present from Bucky too this time since she owned more than enough clothes, stuffed animals and toys already. Bucky had given her a book full of fairy tales, where she could color each page after her liking.

After everyone had received their little pile of presents they huddled together to watch a typical Christmas movie on TV. Home alone. Bucky was the first to point out that Kevin bore an uncanny resemblance with Steve earning himself a round affirmative noises and verbal agreement. Now Steve was a sweet guy in general, but Bucky knew better than anybody else in this house that he could also be a little shit, channeling his inner Kevin McCallister.

“Watch it, see who ‘accidentally’ uses salt instead of sugar in the next batch of cookies I make for you.” Steve threatened, nudging Bucky’s side with the blunt end of one of his pencils.

Steve sat in his corner of the couch that day, hand moving over the pad and brow furrowed in concentration. Periodically he set it down to help Winnie, get some more tea, or to speak with the family, otherwise he was absorbed.

"Empty threats, Steve. You'd never waste food." Bucky smirked with a twinkle in his eyes. Slightly squirming under the assault he returned to leaning against his friend's side, trying not to move around too much, so he could draw in peace. Steve looked completely immersed in his artwork, barely paying attention to the movie, but it didn't matter, everyone else kept talking over it as well, since they'd seen it plenty of times before.

It was a beautiful day, and in Steve’s opinion, a perfect Christmas. Just being here was gift enough when he would have otherwise spent his holiday alone, but the Barnes’ had made it so much more.

By the time it was getting close to bed, Steve deposited himself at the desk in Bucky’s old room. ”’m almost done with this, I’ll sleep in a bit.”, he mumbled, too absorbed in finishing his drawing to even change into his PJs yet.

Bucky was resting on his side, half of his face pressed into the pillow while peering at Steve, who's apparently determined to finish his drawing today. "If you're still up at midnight I'm gonna drag you in here, pumpkin.", Bucky warned him with a muffled yawn. Well played, as if he wasn't going to sleep like a drunk sloth till morning as soon as he drifted off.

"Good night...", he murmured, finally letting his eyes close, breathing gradually evening out. With nobody taking up space next to him Bucky ended up spreading his limbs similar to a starfish, effectively covering most of the bed.

Steve hummed a note of acknowledgment. ”Night.”, he replied. Nearly thirty seconds later what Bucky said sank in and a heat blazed up the back of his neck. ’Pumpkin’?! He knew Bucky was teasing yet the reaction was genuinely. He felt flustered from his head to his toes, and he bent a little closer to his paper determined to ignore it. His hormones were out of control.

A short while later Steve sat up from the desk with a grimace, stretching himself out with a relieved sigh. He’d give Winnie the piece tomorrow before he left.

Tucking the sketchpad away he finally got undressed. This time around he stayed in his nursing bra. Even just remembering this morning made him feel squirmy inside. 

“Ah, Buck.” Steve rolled his eyes as he walked over to the bed to find Bucky splayed out like the insufferable dork he was. Grumbling, he climbed in anyway, nudging Bucky’s limbs until he could tuck himself comfortably against him, since there wasn’t an option for personal space. It would be fruitless anyway, considering they were both cuddle-sleepers. 

Steve could hear Bucky’s strong heart beat and he tucked his face a little closer. This holiday had been a blessing but it had brought with it a new host of problems Steve didn’t want to address. The kind of thing Steve should know better than to want. He’d learned his lesson before, hadn’t he? He’d learned that his judgement wasn’t to be trusted, and that if anything, he was the one that needed to step back from people. He still distrusted most Alphas, but Bucky was special. So special Steve knew to be thankful for friendship and that alone. For both their sakes.

Despite that, Steve selfishly scooted closer, wishing he could smell Bucky’s scent on his skin as he drifted off.


	16. Chapter 16

When Steve had settled against his chest Bucky had let out a deep, contented exhale, chin resting on top of his friend's head. By sunrise, he’d wrapped himself around Steve's whole body, nose crinkling whenever a few strands tickled the tip of it.

Bucky would have slept through the day like that, unfortunately his bladder had to remind him of its existence with increasing pressure. Blinking his eyes open he was no longer shocked to wake up with Steve in his arms and refrained from making a quick exit. As long as he wasn't drooling all over him it's fine, platonic cuddles. Relishing in the cozy sensation for another minute Bucky carefully moved away and climbed over Steve to leave the bed, making sure to cover him back up with the thick blanket, so he wasn't gonna get cold.

He avoided the squeaky floorboard out of instinct, making his way to the bath. Despite not having a face full of milk Steve's smell was all over him, sweet and light unlike most perfumes. Bucky hadn't been scented for a while due to both Dot and him taking scent blockers. It was such a comforting sensation, smelling your other half while you went through your day. He'd have to take another shower before they're going to head for the airport. 

Scenting was the first step down a slippery slope and as much as Bucky was fascinated to gaze into the abyss he couldn't let himself fall.

Waking up to a cooling bed trembled that precarious bundle of emotions in Steve. The past two days he’d woken up to Bucky plastered against him, warm and solid. It was embarrassing at the time, but now that he was forced to tug the blankets up higher to trap the body heat within the blankets, he missed it. He’d have to return to his empty bed at home after unexpectedly enjoying a taboo perk of a Barnes’ Christmas. He’d forgotten what it was like to share a bed with someone he hadn’t gone to be angry at.

Now that he was awake there was little hope of him going back to sleep. Despite that, Steve lingered in bed a little longer until Bucky returned and he yawned a lazy, “Morning”. His own bladder was screaming at him at this point and he reluctantly hefted himself up with the same grace as an overturned turtle.

"Morning." Bucky greeted back lowly, feeling like his system was still rebooting despite the quick shower. Taking a seat on the bed he checked his phone for the time. One last breakfast with his whole family before they had to leave again. He'd already promised his parents he'd try to visit in summer when the fields were in full bloom, just because the seasons in the countryside were different than the ones they experienced in the city.

While Steve was headed there he took his morning supplies with him to shower and get ready for the day. Thankfully his nursing pads weren’t a mess this morning considering Bucky hadn’t been stimulating his nipples again, which was an odd thing to think about this early in the morning.

Steve didn’t spend as long showering today since they were just going to be in a plane that had its own scent-scrubbing air system. He returned to the room with damp hair in disarray and yawning into his shirtsleeve, slower to wake up this morning than he’d been the prior two.

Putting on his last set of fresh clothes, Bucky packed his bag, barely able to zip it close after squeezing Steve's quilt in. Bucky shot his friend a slightly suspicious look when he reentered the room. "How long did you stay up last night to finish your drawing?" He certainly hadn't noticed Steve slipping into bed, but he'd been out cold as soon as he'd shut his eyes. Good thing they're only travelling today, so Steve could get some more rest on the plane. 

“I’m not on trial here,” Steve grumbled a reply, followed up by childishly sticking his tongue out. Yeah, he stayed up too late, but this was important. He’d sleep on the plane, helped iron out the plane-anxiety anyway and this way Bucky wouldn’t have to smell his fear every time they hit turbulence.

Steve packed his things up carefully. He had to pack a bigger suitcase than Bucky for obvious reasons, but even still it was a tight squeeze with the fabric. He tucked his sketchbook into his carry-on, grinning to himself as he did so.

Scolding Steve while he looked like a drowned puppy was impossible. Bucky just wanted to run his fingers through his hair and mess it up further. Wisely he kept his hands to himself, appreciating from afar.

Breakfast was a big pan full of scrambled eggs and thick slices of bread. Winnie tried to convince them to take a dozen doggie bags with them, but there's no place to put them and it wasn't like they're returning to empty fridges.

Steve didn’t eat as much as he had the previous mornings, knowing full well that he was too prone to nausea at the slightest change. He’d have to pop an anti-nausea pill thirty minutes before their flight to keep from getting green around the gills.

Bucky said goodbye to everyone but his dad, who's driving them to the airport. He made sure to give everyone a long hug and cover Macy's face with kisses until she giggled. Damn, he's gonna miss them so much.

"I'll see you on Skype, thanks for having us, ma.", Bucky told her, leaning down a bit, so she could kiss his stubbly cheek.

When it came time to leave, Steve pulled out the drawing and approached Winnie, passing it off with a shy smile.”Thank you, for having me. It — it was unforgettable.” It was the best Christmas he had since his mother died. He hoped since Bucky was going to be his baby’s godfather that he’d get to see everyone again, but he wasn’t going to presume.

He’d drawn the Barnes’ Christmas morning.

All the scattered wrapping paper, sprawled limbs watching Christmas movies, and content smiles. He’d drawn it from his point of view, the way he saw everyone that morning. The siblings in their mischievous but warm nature, the father quiet but present, Winnie with her comely presence, and then Bucky, tucked up on the couch, laughing over some quip with faint laugh-lines crinkling the corners of his eyes. Everything that he’d learned about these people and would treasure.

"Oh, it’s wonderful!", Winnie voiced in utter delight over the artwork. "I'll have to frame it and find a good place to hang it up." She quickly decided, while allowing the others to take a look at it as well.

Steve’s person flushed with pure content pleasure hearing that Winnie would frame it. It was every inch a pleased pup faced with praise from a parental figure, and he was too overjoyed to be embarrassed about broadcasting it.

"You're welcome back anytime, don't be a stranger.", she reminded him, giving Steve a gentle hug. The rest of the family verbally and non-verbally agreed to the statement with Marie lifting Macy's hand to wave goodbye.

"I want a copy of it.", Bucky stated before they started walking towards the car, which luckily came to life right away. New Year's plans were brought up by his dad during the drive, though they would probably stay at home, only go outside around midnight to watch the fireworks and wish their neighbors a happy New Year. Pretty much what had been his parents tradition for years.

Steve settled into his seat, grimacing at having to tuck his seatbelt under his round stomach. It only pronounced the sheer enormity, reaffirming his grumbles that he was slowly turning into a beach ball. He was getting to the point of his pregnancy where the term ‘grossly pregnant’ applied, and he felt every moment. At this point, no matter how frightening it was, he was looking forward to giving birth and getting it over and done with.

Parting ways with Bucky’s dad when he dropped them at the airport Bucky took over both of their luggage, ushering Steve towards the security check. Afterwards they spent an hour waiting, which was rather anticlimactic.

"No snowfall.", Bucky noted, checking the weather report on his phone. "Think it's gonna be a pleasant flight."

“What are your plans for New Years?” Steve asked, shuffling a little to tuck the little travel pillow down behind his back to support his poor lumbar. He hadn’t even thought of New Years himself, too wrapped up in Christmas to think that far ahead.

"I assumed we're going to celebrate together?" Bucky responded with an owlish expression on his face. Christmas had been the main event, so they hadn't talked much about New Year’s Eve yet, but Bucky didn't have any other plans. His friends celebrated with their families and while they probably wouldn't mind including him Bucky would rather stay at home with Steve and have a relaxed evening.

Last year he'd spend a lot of money on a fancy dinner and watch the fireworks on top of a smaller skyscraper with Dot. It had certainly been a special experience and a great view from up above. Still, Bucky could have a great night without having to spend 100 bucks per person as well.

Blessedly, the anxiety medicine was kicking in, helping to mute the burst of sugary warmth. Steve had hoped, but he hadn’t wanted to assume. Bucky was a single eligible Alpha. A good-looking one at that. He could easily go out and have fun at a local bar, or he had to have more fun friends than just a pregnant Omega. His coworkers for one.

But instead, Bucky assumed they’d spend it together.

"Was thinking about trying to make a fondue and get a bottle of alcohol free champagne to share. You wanna do something else?" Bucky asked because for all he knew Steve might want to take a little break from hanging out together 24/7. 

“I’ll take dairy pills so don’t skimp on the cheese.”, Steve replied, leaning a little into Bucky’s side. ”I’ll bake cupcakes, I’ve been craving funfetti. I hate funfetti.” He smoothed right over Bucky’s question since that was plain ridiculous. What else would be a better New Year than eating themselves sick on the couch on cheese and sugar?

"Gonna get the stinky one. Bet it'll taste great with your cupcakes.", Bucky remarked, grinning happily when it seemed clear that he didn't have to change plans. 

"Who hates funfetti? You hatin' on rainbows too?", he commented with a huff. Bucky started to believe Steve's taste was actually gonna become weird once he went back to his non-pregnant self. So far his cravings were pretty normal.

The plane took off and Bucky wished once again he had the ability to soothe Steve's little spikes of fear with his own scent.

Steve went quiet for a few minutes as he acclimated to liftoff,”Buck.” 

"Huh?" Turning his head away from the tiny window Bucky looked back at Steve, worrying that he's somehow feeling sick despite his meds.

Steve looked up, fixing Bucky with his big eyes.”Thank you. This was — this was the kind of Christmas I thought they made up in movies. You, your family...it was amazing.” He didn’t feel like he’d done anything to deserve it. The kindness that Bucky apparently inherited in his very DNA. 

The beginning of the year had marked one of the darkest moments of his entire life, but he was closing it out as one of the best. At the center of it all happened to be Bucky Barnes, and Steve wasn’t about to forget it.

To Bucky, Christmas had been mostly different this year because of Steve, but he didn't think it had been hollywoodlike. Compared to the Christmases Steve had spent alone with his ma or his ex celebrating with a complete family must be a big deal.

"I'm glad you had such a good time and they're obviously very smitten with you, too. I hope we can visit them again next year, so they get the chance to meet your lil ladybug." It was a long time til then, a lot could happen in between, but Bucky liked to think positive. They certainly wouldn't drift apart within a year.

“I’d...really like that.”

Bucky was getting very adept at being able to make Steve weepy and he didn’t appreciate it. Bucky was just so open. Honest with him in ways no other person outside of his mother had been to Steve. Being invited to the Barnes home, being welcomed, and now Bucky hoping for a return? Baby in tow? That was getting into dangerous territory and only the medication kept Steve from snuffling in the middle of the plane.

"Did you start coming up with names for her already or are you gonna wait til you see her?" Bucky asked before he ended up making Steve cry…again.

Resting his hands on his stomach, Steve shrugged lightly.”Kinda of? Everytime I start to I kind of...bum myself out.”, he admitted, a frown tugging at his lips.”This isn’t really how I expected it you know? Naming my baby, course, I never expected to even have one, but here we are. I just — Sitting online by myself scrolling through names feels so impersonal and random. I don’t have anyone to name her after expect my mom, and she’d rise from the grave and murder me if I named my kid something that common.” He gave a quiet chuckle.

"I don't think every name needs a big meaning right away as long as you like the sound of it. Look at me, I share the same name with...one billion other guys out there and yet I'm still different from them." Mostly because Bucky decided not to go by James in general, but that's not the point he's trying to make here.

"You could find another name that starts with S, so all three of you would have that in common?" Bucky suggested, imagining that naming his kid after his dead ma might also hit a sore spot.

Steve nodded slowly, though the worry drained from his face at Bucky’s suggestion. ”That’s a good idea Buck, something to match the theme, right?”, he chortled, liking that idea more than he thought he would. Sure it was a little cliche and his kid might roll her eyes at it later, but it felt like a way to keep a connection with his mother without going so far as naming his child after her.

“...you wanna help?” Looking up, a note of hope danced in Steve’s eyes. Was it asking too much of a best friend? He didn’t want to do something this big alone, and having input from another person he trusted would mean the world. Especially someone Steve hoped would be in his little girl’s life.

"If you want we can brainstorm together. Gotta make sure you don't choose something too extravagant like...Mercedes or Candy." Bucky agreed, attempting to keep the mood light, quickly swallowing the lump that tried to settle in his throat. He'd never asked Steve to include him in his choices, life and family and it always felt like such a huge amount of trust he was handed on a silver platter. 

Bucky was a bit afraid he's gonna end up getting involved too deep, becoming greedy and wanting to be more than 'just' Steve's friend. He already was feeling that way whenever they had those little moments that made his heart race through his chest. Fingers brushing together when they reached for the same thing, Steve's weight resting against his side while they're sitting on the sofa or when they managed to finish each other's sentences.

“Yeah, no stripper-names for my kid, thanks. She’d already going to have a hard enough time as it is with me as a dad.” Steve smirked, patting his stomach with a small sigh. He didn’t have shit to give this kid except love. He feared losing his job. Getting too sick to care for her. Raising her in a less than desirable neighborhood. Raising her as a single Omega...but most of all, he was worried about dying young and leaving her alone. His ma hadn’t had half medical conditions he did and she’d still died tragically young, what hope did he have?

"I have no doubt, you're gonna be a great dad, Stevie.", Bucky claimed in perfect sincerity. What did it matter if Steve couldn't afford all those expensive toys and clothes from the stores as long as he's around and cared for his baby girl? And even if he ended up passing down some of his health issues to her Steve would at least know how to handle them.

Steve wished he could have as much confidence in himself as Bucky had in him, maybe it would make the ever-present anxiety dim. He laid awake more often than not worrying about the future. About the life he could provide for his little girl. If she would be as sickly as he was and the tough decisions that would come with it. He wanted to give her everything, but the bare minimum still left out of reach.

Breathing a slow exhale, Steve leaned against Bucky’s shoulder and let his eyes closed, just trying to focus on the heat his best friend provided. “I want to give her everything, Buck. I don’t want her growing up like I did…my ma, she tried so hard but she didn’t have anything. Not even a friend to turn to ‘cause she was always busy busting her ass for me. She gave up her whole life for me and I feel like an ass for saying it wasn’t enough. That...that I want this baby to have more.” He didn’t mean to turn so heavy on their trip back, but flying back to Brooklyn only reminded him of the responsibilities that waited for him there. The magic of Christmas was fading, glitter and warmth fading away until his life and worries came back into focus.

"Wanting to do better for your child, doesn't make you an ungrateful person. The situation might seem similar, but you're not alone. You have a nice apartment and a steady income. You can spend lots of quality time with her and I'm always gonna be around when you need support. Your baby won't lack anything." Talking like that felt a bit like making an oath. Promise to be true to you in good times and bad...

"No need to worry your pretty head unless there's a pressing issue. Bucky finished on a lighter note, rubbing his cheek over the side of Steve's head, messing up his hair in the process. 

With Bucky beside him, offering him comforting words and a vaguely infuriating form of physical comfort, it was easier to ignore the growing worries on Steve’s mind. As strange as it felt, he really wasn’t alone. He’d been given so much help these past months. Julio and Dan, Mrs Young, a few other kind souls in the apartment complex, and above all, Bucky. He wouldn’t have made it without everyone, and every time he thought about it the phrase ‘It takes a village’ was never far from his mind. He didn’t think he could ever say how grateful he was. 

Just like on their previous flight Steve received an additional blanket from the flight attendant. The touchdown was pretty smooth and an hour later they sat on the train on their way back to Brooklyn.  
-  
The scant week between arriving home and New Years wasn’t the fun mid-holiday glow Steve had hoped for. Not only was it back to work, but he also had to make sure he rested even more than usual after his levels had tanked a bit after the stress of a holiday vacation. He did his job from his bedroom for three days, and the final two were spent in his apartment. Thankfully, New Years wasn’t anything stressful and he was all too happy to have something to break up his maddening week only existing in his apartment. 

Shuffling over to Bucky’s apartment wasn’t that big of a difference, but it was enough to make him feel a little less stir-crazy. 

They’d piled up Bucky’s coffee table with a shameful amount of food and snacks, complete with sparkling grape juice. None of it was probably doctor approved, and that’s what made Steve look forward to tonight the most. 

He’d cut out the middle man and just come over in his pajamas, which consisted of Bucky’s stolen hoodie and a pair of pajama pants with cows jumping over crescent moons on them. Fuzzy socks were of course included.

“Did you know that Lucrecia and Kendra broke up in 5b?” Steve commented around a pretzel, apparently full-up on gossip after Julio had visited him the day before after bringing him dinner. Steve had done his best to keep it secret that he was apartment-bound for the week, but Bucky had a loud mouth.

"No, but I'm sure you can tell me all about it." That's what Bucky got for leaving Steve unattended with Julio for a few hours or maybe he'd been a lil gossip all along.

"What's the deal breaker?" He asked with a light grin, not because he's happy about the breakup, but because he's looking forward to the way Steve was gonna retell the story. For all that Steve was bound to horizontal surfaces he sure could express himself with his gestures and facial expressions. 

Bucky tried to steal glances whenever he didn't have to check on the fondue bubbling on the stove. Seeing Steve in his hoodie made his heart feel ten times lighter, trying to float straight off his body like he's some cartoon character. Get a grip on it, Barnes. Focus on the cows! Those were safe territory.

Steve stuck his tongue out at Bucky but kept talking anyway, “It was over something so stupid! Apparently a fight started over where to put their new couch and Kendra complained about Luc’s cat pissing on it as soon as they took the cover off. Can’t really blame her I guess? Julio says Luc’s cat is the devil, but I mean, it’s a cat so that’s a given.” He kept right on until Bucky started mother-henning him. It felt like Bucky was really ramping up lately, but considering Steve had been bed-bound for the week, Steve was giving Buck some leeway.

"Did you take your lactose pills already?", Bucky asked just to make sure the evening wasn't going to end with stomach cramps for one of them.

“Yeah, I took four of ‘em, quit naggin’.” Steve huffed, wiggling up from his slouched position before he ended up getting heartburn from just his stomach existing.

"Only tryin' to look out for ya.", Bucky defended his 'nagging'. The date of birth was barely three months away and it had been a high risk pregnancy from the start. Bucky wanted Steve to stay as healthy as possible.

"You're such a dog person...", Bucky remarked with an eye roll now that he could focus on Steve’s gossiping after getting the health-check out of the way. The couch situation sounded pretty ridiculous, but a cat piss over furniture was really annoying. Bucky would have suggested finding a cat guru and figure out the cat's problem tho instead of breaking up. Maybe there's more to it than just the couch that broke the camel's neck.

“Who’s not a dog person?” Steve countered with a scoff. He wished he could have a dog or any kind of pet but even if his finances were steadier than they’d ever been there was still not enough room in the budget for a pet and a baby. He would be able to afford the bare minimum once the baby was born to start with.

"I like cats.", Bucky informed his friend with an eyebrow raised in mock-defiance. "They're live the dream while contributing nothing to society. In my next life I want to be a fat house cat." Lazying around in a sunny spot and move with the sun until the food bowl was refilled. Don't get him wrong, dogs were great too, but they were expected to follow commands and work for their treats. And that's why cats were obviously the superior pets.

Steve fixed Bucky with a flat stare,”For the sake of our friendship and my child, I’m going to assume that was just some kind of cheese-based stroke that made those words come out of your mouth.” He sniffed in moral outrage. Still, he could definitely see Bucky being a housecat with how much he liked to sleep. 

The image of Bucky in cat ears was one of Steve’s more embarrassing lapses in mental judgement, but it came to him before he could crush it. He wasn’t even into that!...possibly? Jesus, this preoccupation with Bucky was getting out of hand. He couldn’t wait til he finally popped so his hormones would calm down and he could have a normal friendship without wondering what it would be like to sniff his Alpha best friend’s shirt. Or...fantasize about weird fetishes. 

”Think I made too many cookies.” Steve looked at the towering plate with a bit of consideration. They had dipping chocolate for dessert fondue, and making shortbread cookies had seemed like a great idea at the time, but he would admit, he went overboard. At least he’d been allowed to make them, provided he did all the prep from a rolling computer chair purchased from a downstairs neighbor that was purging for a move.

"You can't use too many and cookies in one sentence Steve, that'll always be a lie." The whole empire of girl and boy scouts groups was founded on the basis of people never having enough cookies at home.

Rolling his eyes, Steve ignored Bucky’s never ending sugar-cravings. It was a good thing Bucky’s job was labor-intensive or else Steve wouldn’t know how he fit in his stylish jeans.

"Should be almost ready." Bucky did a final tasting. It turned out that adding liquor wasn't necessary to achieve good consistency. They'd decided against getting fresh fruits to dip in and instead planned to go for doritos, marshmallows and whatever else was on their snack pile. Bucky had been to the gym the other day right after work and this was his official cheat day.

Carrying over the hot pot to the small coffee table he carefully placed it on top of a smaller camp stove, which should keep the content warm and gooey. "A toast to the last day of the year, we survived.", Bucky stated cheerfully, clinking glasses with Steve. He'd gone for a hoodie-sweatpants combination as well, since they weren't going to leave the apartment. The window in the living room would be enough to look out and enjoy the fireworks. If Steve were more mobile Bucky would've dragged him out on the fire escape.

“Might have been hell and then some, but hey, we’re here.” Steve agreed with a quiet chuckle, considering they’d both gone through major life changes over the year.

Steve would like to say he had some kind of self control, but he was way too pregnant for that now. At least he’d put on what constituted for him as ‘a healthy amount’ of weight during his pregnancy, even if he was still too skinny for his doctor’s liking for an Omega. He happily let the conversation trail for a little bit, uttering little purred notes of contentment as he ate their spread of pure edible carnal delights.

“This was the best idea ever,” He licked his lips, grinning over at Bucky as he stuck his toes underneath Bucky’s thigh on the couch to leech off his heat like he usually did. ”Only way this’d be better is if I could drink. Nothing says New Years like getting sloppy-drunk and regretting it in the morning.”

"Right, the last time I got drunk you tried to stab me, so maybe it's for the better we both stay sober to avoid homicide." Bucky pointed out with a wry smile. He didn't know what kind of drunk person Steve was, but he's definitely the emotional one, which probably didn't mix well when sitting right next to your long term crush. Bucky might end up spilling the beans. Nope, no alcohol for him.

”Like you didn’t deserve it,”, Steve chuckled, tongue darting out to try and lick away an errant smear of chocolate. 

"Not gonna fight you on that." Scaring the crap out of Steve by showing up on his doorstep at night and trying to break in had been terrible idea. 

“You couldn’t handle me anyway,” Tittering with an impish glimmer, Steve re-situated himself on the couch so he could squash his shoulder against Bucky’s side, intent on stealing the Alpha’s body heat.

"Cause you're the grabby kind and couldn't keep your hands off me, Stevie? Might not be an alcohol-induced effect." Bucky teased, because fuck did he wish for those nimble hands on him. They'd featured in several of his dreams, sometimes even taking up the leading role. 

Of course, Bucky had to go and be an asshole and say something in that teasing tone that made his voice rumble and skitter down Steve’s spine. Worse, it was completely true. Steve wasn’t a graceful drunk in the least. It went right to his inhibitions and he’d either fight someone or fuck them, or quite possibly both in no reasonable order. “Shut up!” He smirked, “I’d sock you, that’s what I'd do.” Not that Bucky couldn’t stop him. Maybe it would even be kind of nice. The last time he scented Bucky ruffled was — his heat...actually. And that was definitely not a lane he was turning down when plastered up against Bucky and full of chocolate. 

He hoped the various scents of food covered the sticky-sweet smell that momentarily spiked around him.

"Sounds like someone's having an aggression problem and needs to hug it out." Bucky claimed with a twitch of his lips, wrapping his arm around Steve's shoulder, but didn't go for a full embrace. No need to encourage Steve to use him as a punching bag.

As much as Bucky had joked about Steve being the horny drunk, Bucky was pretty sure that if his inhibitions were lowered right now he'd have ended up leaving a trail of hickeys on Steve's swollen stomach. Surely it shouldn't work like that, but Steve being pregnant with another Alpha's child wasn't a turn off for him.

Or maybe all that pregnancy porn he'd watched had finally liquefied his brain. Hell, Bucky had watched it with headphones, afraid Steve could somehow hear what kind of porn he'd gotten into. There's a surprisingly big amount of it online and at first Bucky had felt guilty, not allowing himself to jerk off on it. Of course his resolve weakened and here he was, fantasizing about holding onto Steve's stomach while he kneeled behind him and....refilled his empty glass of sparkling peach juice like the good host he was trying very hard to be!

Steve tittered ‘innocently’ though his onslaught lessened when Bucky threw an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in. Like always, he happily accepted even if he had to make the customary nose-crinkle, so he didn’t let on how touch-starved he was outside of Bucky. Bucky had become his oasis in so many ways than one, he couldn’t let on how much he liked lingering under Bucky’s hands for fear of it becoming weird. 

Taking a sip from the sparkling juice, Bucky dipped some nachos into the fondue first, careful not to burn his fingers. They managed to empty half of the pot, mostly to his credit, before switching to the chocolate fondue. There's a good chance that Bucky would be the one with a troubled stomach after all, but who was he to resist liquid chocolate. 

Steve ate more of the chocolate fondue than he ever did the cheese, which wasn’t that surprising but pregnancy-belly had also demanded a few questionable choices out of him like dipping a strawberry in the cheese. Which he found delicious, but the marshmallow had just been a bad idea.

"We have two hours left, wanna watch something on TV and wait for the countdown?" Bucky asked.

“Sure, some kind of cheesy New-Year movie to really set the mood. Preferably from Hallmark.” If they were going to be sad single shut ins on New Years they might as well go whole-hog with it. 

“Ugh, I might actually pop.” He groaned, hiking up his shirt to put his hands on his stomach, knowing he was going to be paying for this with heartburn galore tomorrow.

Making himself useful Bucky turned on the TV and searched for a fitting movie, which merely took him a few clicks before he could place the remote aside.

"Please don't turn New Year's Eve into a gruesome scene from Alien." Bucky requested with a bemused quirk of his lips.

Shaking his head under the guise of flicking his too-long bangs from his eyes, Steve hummed. ”I haven’t seen that actually. Never had the TV as a kid and Gilmore didn’t watch things like that with me.” It was getting easier to refer to his ex in passing instead of dropping comments like they were grenades that may or may not be live.

"We can watch it sometime.", Bucky offered, never minding to rewatch an old classic, because Steve had missed out on it. They probably shouldn't watch it before Steve's delivery. The last thing his friend needed were birth related nightmares.

"She ain't playing football in there with your organs right now?" Bucky asked, because as an outsider it was hard to tell when the baby girl was giving Steve a hard time, kicking and moving around.

"Can I touch?", he asked again every single time, not just expecting Steve to be alright with Bucky crossing that certain line. Bucky was also aware that Steve didn't appreciate others fondling his baby bump in general, so he didn't bring up the question too often. It just felt really nice and turned his insides into mush.

“‘Course, Buck, she’s having a fit right now. Maybe she’s not the fan of strawberries and cheese I am,” Steve smirked, raising his shirt a little farther so Bucky could splay his larger hands against his tight skin. Most people he hated asking if they could feel him up like some kind of exhibit, but there was a small cluster of people that had more than earned the right. Julio and Dan, the little old Alpha, and Bucky. Especially Bucky. 

"Or she's throwing her own party in there." Gently placing his hand on Steve's round belly Bucky splayed his fingers, slightly brushing over the soft skin. Yup, he could definitely feel her doing a little tap dance. Poor Steve, his insides had turned into a dance floor.

“Everytime I look down and she’s bigger I get really thankful they’re forcing me into a C-section,” Steve smirked dryly, not wanting to think about what it would be like birthing this thing naturally. He was slight even for most modern Omegas, he doubted his birth canal could have even handled it.

“Sap, and her dancing explains a lot. Afraid to say that I got my no lick of rhythm from my ma, and this kid is probably doomed.”, he grinned, his low rumbling purr betraying him as he watched Bucky’s hands on his stomach. Bucky wasn’t even his Alpha and he felt safe in his friend’s arms. He knew Bucky would love this kid, probably too much for his own good...and Christ, did Steve have a crisis of conscience about that one.

What if another Dot came along and hated that Bucky had a godkid by some scrawny best friend? He knew it was weird, both of them being unmated and this close, but — couldn’t he be a little selfish? For once couldn’t he just...just enjoy this while it lasted. Because it wouldn’t. Steve was a realist after the life he’d lived. He knew this couldn’t last, that something would happen to pop the warm, comfortable bubble his life had turned into. Sooner or later, the axis would tip.

He just didn’t expect it to be so goddamn soon. 

They stayed on the sofa until the countdown started before shuffling towards the window to get an eyeful of the fireworks. Bucky could hear a few going off already, but the majority of people were waiting for the clock to strike midnight. 

"Happy New Year!" Bucky wished Steve with a vibrant smile when the sky finally lit up in all colors imaginable, leaning down to wrap his arms around Steve's overall still slim frame. 

"Traditionally that'd be the part when you kiss the person next to you, but I guess we're gonna skip that, huh?" Then why bring it up in the first place? Oh that's right, because Bucky couldn't think of a better way to end the old year and start the new one...

He felt hopelessly in love with Steve all over again and there's nothing he could do about it.

Steve leaned practically against the glass, watching the night sky light up with distant fireworks. Last year he’d spent New Years alone while Gilmore was at a work party because he’d never been allowed to go anywhere near Gilmore’s job. It would ‘look bad’ if Gilmore was living with an unmated Omega. Now, Steve just knew Gilmore had probably been ashamed of him, not wanting anyone to know what kind of subpar Omega he’d shacked up with to make himself feel more superior by proxy.

He’d drank ‘wine’, scowled at the television as the ball dropped, and didn’t even get the burst of panic he usually got when he did something to make Gilmore cross with him when he got drunk and spilled the last of the wine on the couch. He had no one back then, only a selfish asshole that wanted him on his knot and to be a kept secret. 

Which was why he’d make the case that reminiscing and pregnancy didn’t lead to anywhere good because that was the only reason he could justify the kind of stupidity that came out of his mouth next. 

Looking up at Bucky, seeing the flashes of colorful lights briefly illuminating Bucky’s profile, Steve decided there was no way in hell he was going to start this next year without making it as memorable as possible. “Didn’t expect that kind of toxic Alpha-talk out of you, Barnes,” He sneered playfully, turning to face Bucky.

"Well, clearly you don't know me at all, Rogers.“, Bucky returned with a fond eye roll.

“You’re going to have to lean down though, some of us are vertically challenged.” If Steve kept it light and playful then Bucky couldn’t figure out what kind of stupid thoughts were buzzing around Steve’s head that sounded suspiciouslly like a ticking time bomb.’

"Up to you, pal." Bucky remarked, aiming for a casual smile and dropping the platonic endearment as if that's going to mellow the charged atmosphere. To be fair this didn't have to be a big deal unless they wanted to make it a big deal.

“Who says we gotta skip it? It’s good luck, and after the year we’ve had, luck sounds pretty damn good to me.” Steve’s heart sped up, and he was glad Bucky had those scent-dampening plug-ins that Steve could stand (and now finally afford himself) and he was parked right in front of one, or else Bucky might have smelled how many layers of fucked Steve was. 

"You're challenge personified." Bucky bickered in return, trying to downplay his sudden nervousness. He hadn't expected Steve to agree to his silly suggestion. Bucky knew he could still back out, but this might be his only chance to kiss Steve and did he really wanna miss that chance? Hell, no!

Cupping Steve's cheek wasn't even necessary for a short peck on the lips. Bucky did so anyway, tilting his own head to get the right angle without their noses awkwardly bumping together. He had to make it count. Maybe he expected too much of a simple kiss, surely it wouldn't kindle any feelings that hadn't been there before. 

His heart was going to give out before their lips even touched. He’d half expected for Bucky to laugh it off and call him an idiot for the challenge. To have more self control than Steve did, which was stupid considering the level of idiocy they could get up to when left alone for too long and bored. Their damage had only been mitigated by Steve being pregnant or else who knew what could have happened. 

The huffed chuckle faded as soon as Bucky’s hand pressed against his cheek. He turned slightly into the touch, a ripple of relaxation unbunching the pull of his shoulders. Around Bucky it was easy to relax. Maybe it was just their designations at play, but Steve feared it was much more than that. So much more. 

Steve leaned as Bucky bent, and — Oh.

Bucky’s warm lips pressed against his, and Steve raised a hand to rest on Bucky’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure how kisses between friends were supposed to feel, he’d never been this casual before. Platonic kisses were reserved for cheeks (why hadn’t they thought of that?) and kisses with intent were on the lips. But this? This didn’t feel like a friend kiss. This felt like a kiss he wanted to crawl into and never leave. It felt like lazy days watching Netflix and bickering in the grocery store about what brand of cereal was superior. It felt like hands on his swollen belly. Hands on his tight shoulders and a summery laugh at bad jokes. It was everything Bucky was wrapped up in a kiss and...oh fuck what had he done?

He was fucking in love with his best friend and he wasn’t sure anymore if he could just blame his hormones. 

They needed to breathe, but even still he couldn’t pull himself away. How selfish could he be? Wanting more of this man who had already given him so much. Sacrificed a relationship because no matter how much Bucky dismissed it Steve _knew_ it had been his fault that Bucky and Dot broke up.

But that didn’t stop Bucky from leaning back in for more, the taste of the last strawberry on Steve’s lips melding with the sparkling juice on Bucky’s. He wanted to lick into Bucky’s mouth, see if he could get a rumble from Bucky —

Bucky didn't count the seconds in his head, but he's pretty sure the appropriate amount of time for a New Year's kiss was up. Yet neither of them pulled back almost as if they're playing a reversed game of chicken. Eventually their lips parted to take another breath, but even then they stayed connected and the press of lips turning into more of a sliding motion. He could actually taste Steve and-

For a few precious minutes everything was perfect. The sound of the doorbell might've as well been a gunshot, bursting their fragile bubble. Bucky didn't exactly recoil and jump back in surprise, but he reflexively lifted his head and let his hand fall away from Steve's cheek, ending the kiss much more abruptly than he'd wanted to. Dammit. As much as he loved his neighbors in general they couldn't have picked a worse timing to interrupt their...celebration.

The doorbell nearly sent Steve into the stratosphere. His cheeks flushed hot, conscious of the warmth diffusing from his core out. His body was practically screaming at him to accept a willing Alpha and his heart wasn’t that far behind because it was Bucky.

How long had it been Bucky? Did he even want to know?

Swallowing down the apology on the tip of his tongue Bucky went for the door before they started knocking against it. He felt completely rattled, probably experiencing some kind of emotional whiplash, because his head couldn't keep up with the onslaught of emotions.

"Hey folks, Happy New Year." Bucky greeted Julio and Dan, who're waiting for him with a bottle of champagne to toast.

Steve barely managed to keep it together to greet Julio and Dan, pasting on a smile and hoping that the plug-ins did their job to cover the confusing mix of need, terror, and arousal coursing through his veins. 

From the side-eye Julio gave him as the Alpha’s talked about the fireworks, his poker-face didn’t fool the other Omega for a moment.

It was easy to feign being tired to call and end to things twenty minutes later since he felt exhausted to his core. Shaken from his head to his toes. He readily accepted parting embraces half-glad Julio had shoved leftovers into his hands from their own celebration, so he had an excuse to half-hug Bucky with only one free arm. He didn’t trust himself around Bucky right now and he doubted he ever would again. 

Once he had a wall between himself and Bucky, it left him in a rush. He shoved the food into the fridge and all but collapsed on his bed, lips burning at the memory and tears clinging to his eyelashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ˘ ³˘)♥ And they finally kissed!!


	17. Chapter 17

Pretending was easy as long as Steve didn't touch or look Bucky too long. Sometimes it almost felt normal. He could pretend that nothing has radically shifted, that Bucky was still just his best friend and neighbor. That Steve hadn't woken up more nights than not dreaming of Bucky's lips and his hands.

He'd splurged and bought more scent-blocking plug-ins that made his head a little stuffy from the chemicals but since he could afford medication now he took the risk. He didn't need Bucky smelling how his scent spiked when they cuddled on the couch, or when Bucky's eyes slid to his lips. Because even if, for some reason, Bucky wanted him, Steve couldn't do it. He trusted Bucky, even with his issues with Alphas. But...Bucky needed someone better than him. Someone better than a down and out Omega knocked up with another man's kid and would likely be put in an early grave. Bucky deserved a cute little Omega, picket fence, and two point five kids. Bucky deserved better than what Steve could give him.

Bucky halfway expected of Steve to ghost him again after the lukewarm goodbye that was nothing compared to the heat of their first kiss. He didn't know why he'd started counting them, foolishly hoping there'd be more to come.

They didn't so much avoid each other as they didn't bring up the events of New Year at all, pretending they'd skipped the day and everything continued like before. Like friends who had kissed and clearly enjoyed it, because Steve hadn't simply gone into shock or merely endured the whole thing, he'd been an active participant as well.

Now they're back to being passive and it was even harder, considering that Bucky knew what he's missing out on. His gaze didn't just start straying towards Steve's mouth while he was talking after that specific night, but it happened more often for sure. Until Steve started to flush under his attention and Bucky would quickly avert his eyes. Smooth, Barnes.

They're planning to have dinner at Steve's place and so all that Bucky had to bring over were a few ingredients Steve didn't have in his fridge and good company. Due to being the owner of Steve's spare key Bucky refrained from knocking at the door and simply let himself in.

There'd been a trace of...a stranger his nose picked up upon entering, yet he didn't expect to find the source of it inside.

When he woke up this morning Steve wouldn't have thought he'd end up standing in the middle of his apartment staring at a terror of his past. He'd opened the door without thought, too used to neighbors dropping by or Bucky being lazy and forgetting his key.   
Gilmore was in his apartment before Steve's brain could get back online. How the hell had Gilmore even found him?

His ex's presence was as choking as it had always been, and Steve's anger-fear combined with prime-Alpha had the apartment reeking well over the plug-ins' capacity to block. They barely handled Steve's alone.

And of course, Gilmore had dressed like he was going to battle in a casual navy suit jacket, probably fresh from work, with a shirt that cost more than Steve's entire wardrobe. Gilmore had dressed to remind him of their differences, their class.

" — frankly surprised, considering — " Gilmore cut off as soon as Bucky opened the door, though Steve couldn't tell you what he'd been saying over the high-pitched whine that had taken residence in his ears since Gilmore pushed his way in.

"Hey. Didn't know we're having a guest tonight." Bucky greeted the big, blonde guy standing in front of Steve. Too close, his overprotective Alpha brain growled inwardly.

Geez, when did he lose his chill around other Alphas this quickly? Usually he had a pretty good handle on his instincts. Right now they're insisting that this new guy was competition and in his — Steve's territory.

Regarding the man's outfit choice Bucky would've guessed one if Steve's former coworkers. Oh God, was that the guy Steve had hooked up with? Had he come around for a revival? They way Steve had talked about their last encounter Bucky had been certain he'd never invite the guy over again, especially after getting him fired.

"I'm Bucky." He held out his hand in greeting, trying to be polite at least, since his expression probably didn't come across very friendly. The guy hadn't even bothered to mask his scent, stinking up the small flat like a threatened skunk in record time.

Gilmore's eyes swiveled, flicking over Bucky. Even without scenting Bucky, Gilmore seemed to know his designation. It wasn't hard for him to recognize the burst of Alpha expression before Bucky had squashed it.

Gilmore's smirk twisted into a sneered grin as he took Bucky's hand in a tight gripped handshake. "Gilmore Hodge." His eyes tracked back towards Steve, eyes darkening. "Didn't take you long, did it?", he smirked, withdrawing his hand like he expected to need to wash it now.

Gilmore's scent left nothing to the imagination. He was staking his claim left and right and while Steve usually had to be talked out of punching an Alpha that postured at him, Steve stayed silent. Steve's hands stayed protectively on his round belly, but his metaphorical tail was tucked, torn between looking at Gilmore and Bucky like he expected the need to run for cover.

Gilmore.  
That fucker was lucky Bucky didn't hold his hand anymore or he'd have made a serious attempt to crush those fingers that had been all over Steve. He clenched his jaw, teeth grinding together painfully in order to hold back a baleful snarl. How dare he come back after all that fucker had done? Bucky was close to shaking with suppressed anger. Steve's own fear was the only thing that prevented him from sucker punching Gilmore in the face.  
Taking a deep, silent breath Bucky forced his shoulders to relax and put down the poor veggies he'd been holding in an iron grip. Stepping up beside Steve, Bucky made a deliberate choice, not to move behind the Omega and place his hand on him, refraining from claiming ownership unlike Gilmore. They're better than that, they're equals.

Steve glanced at Bucky, the stink of distressed Omega cutting through some of the plug-ins. He almost wished Bucky would have crowded up behind him. Gilmore was such a damn traditionalist maybe seeing another Alpha posturing would make him back off. Except here Steve was, fat with his welp, Steve doubted Gilmore would back off so easily.

But of course, Bucky was his friend, and stood beside him. Never treating him as anything less. Bucky trusted that he had this. It was different from before, when Steve had no one and always caved to Gilmore because he had nowhere else to go. He wasn’t that lost Omega anymore.

"Took you long enough to show up. Almost 8 months." Bucky stated icily, not letting the other Alpha out of his sight. He'd been a threat right away and quickly managed to turn into Bucky's worst enemy, despite never meeting the man in person before. 

"Any reason you grace us with your presence?", he wanted to know, voice dripping with unveiled sarcasm. That asshole could crawl back into the ditch he came from and take his stench with him. Hell, they'd have to scent-neutralize the whole apartment once he was gone, which never failed to give Steve a headache. 

They're supposed to have a good time, cooking together and then eating on the sofa while watching some semi entertaining TV show that became 50% more hilarious thanks to their running commentary. This was a nightmare and Bucky still didn't know Gilmore's intention. If he thought he could drag Steve back into hell with him there'd definitely be a fight. Bucky was almost craving it, to land a solid hit and get some revenge on Steve's behalf for all the years of abuse he'd suffered under his ex-mate.

Before Steve could interject, Gilmore snorted, a low growl bubbling deep in his throat. ”Us? Don’t smell your knot on him, buddy. In fact, I don’t smell you at all.” Gilmore chortled, obviously thinking Bucky was an inferior Alpha since he went around masked to hell and back.

"Don't have to prove myself to anyone, pal." Bucky returned with a careless shrug, which was easier than admitting the reason for the lack of his scent all over Steve. The words stung, but not because Gilmore's statement bruised his Alpha ego.

Steve’s fear spiked red-hot anger. “He’s here because he wants to stake a claim when he was happy to kick me to the curb before.”, he spat, hackles rising. His petite fangs flashed behind his lips, looking ready to bite and scratch if given the barest provocation. “You can’t have her, Gilmore. You gave that up.”

“Her?” Gilmore had the nerve to look disappointed. ”Fuck, course it’d be.”, he muttered as if he was disgusted in Steve for not even providing a son.

”Don’t make this difficult, Steve. This is a good deal. Give up the kid. She’ll be better raised with us anyway, _be_ somebody. Especially if she turns out half as sickly as you are.” His eyes cut Steve up and down, though layered within the superiority there was a low-burning hunger. An Alpha intent on an Omega they had their scent all over.

Now that Gilmore was in the same room, it was easy to smell the faint hint of him from Steve’s pheromones melding with the pregnancy. The Omega in him calling out for the father of his kid to stake a proper claim and bite to bond. 

“Unless you miss me that much.”, he chuckled. ”Engagement is already finalized but the family would give you a stipend. Firstborn rights, it’d be a good set up.” Steve saw red, though a faintly wounded noise escaped him. Being offered to be a ‘mistress’ to someone like Gilmore was a slap in the face. Like he was only good for his womb. But that had always been the crux of the matter. He’d been good enough to fuck but not good enough to bond.

Give up Steve's baby girl to this sorry excuse of a parent? An Alpha who hadn't been around when Steve had to visit the doctor and built a fucking crib himself. Damn, Gilmore didn't even deserve to breathe the same air and here he was, wanting to claim the whole package deal.

Bucky invaded Gilmore's personal space without thinking, going pretty much face to face, fangs exposed and eyes darkened with smoldering anger.

"Piss off before I crinkle your fancy suit and shove that generous offer of yours where the sun doesn't shine.", he warned, giving Gilmore's shoulders a rough shove that forced him to take a step back, yet unfortunately didn't send him running.

Steve didn’t get the chance to tell Bucky not to go fang to fang in the middle of his living room. He wasn’t even sure how he didn’t see it coming. Sometimes Steve forgot that Bucky was an Alpha with how sweet and caring he was by nature, but having some asshole of an Alpha sauntering in here was apparently more than Bucky could handle.

He didn’t want to admit to the fierce bloom of pride he felt when Bucky snarled and flashed his fangs at Gilmore, not when he should be de-escalating the situation. He’d never seen Bucky this angry before, and he’d only seen Bucky really display his designation during his heat.

"Money won't buy you everything and he can do so much better than you!" Next time Gilmore showed up at Steve's doorstep he should do so with a big apology speech and aliments for his kid. The least he could do after abandoning them.

Bucky remembered how unhappy Steve had been when he first moved in. Overwhelmed with the challenges ahead and crying on the fire escape. His situation had improved a lot and although there were setbacks too Steve had backup now. Bucky didn't want to imagine what it would be like to return to Gilmore's household and serve as nothing more than an easily accessible fucktoy. His baby had to grow up with a father who didn't love her. It made Bucky unbelievably angry, because he'd do anything for them.

Gilmore’s reply snapped Steve from his momentary distraction. The familiar snarl on Gilmore’s lips momentarily cowed Steve, backing him a few feet behind Bucky, clutching his stomach with a low rumbling hiss.

Gilmore’s hands flashed out to knock Bucky’s hands away from him, chest puffing out to square up with Bucky’s challenge. ”Touch me again and I’ll tear your goddamn throat out,”, he threatened, fingers twitching. His claws were well-maintained where most Alphas these days filed theirs down to near Beta-levels.

"I'd like to see you try, barbie doll.", Bucky growled right back, not needing his claws to rip Gilmore a new one. Truth to be told there wasn't a big difference between them size wise. They're both tall and broad shouldered, which would make a fight pretty even. Hopefully it wouldn't get that far, not in front of Steve who's already plenty distressed.

“You’re already sniffing around used-goods, don’t you have any fucking pride?”, Gilmore spat, pupils contracting to ovals, not fully-ready to give into his baser side, but close. ”Least if I take the kid you can breed the little bastard.”

Steve’s hand darted out, taking Bucky’s wrist in his grip. ”Don’t.” He rumbled, knowing that Bucky was going to go from zero to sixty after a comment like that. ”He’s not worth it.”, he swallowed, whole body shaking, but staring resolutely at Gilmore with a promise of justice in his eyes. ”He’s just another dead-beat Alpha.”, Steve smirked, satisfied to see the bloom of anger darkening Gilmore’s face to scarlet.

“Watch your mouth, Omega.” Gilmore snapped. ”You know the courts will side with me. You’ve got nothing to offer, Steve. You just have to be a stubborn bastard like you always were. Should have bit you just to teach you some proper manners.”

"Shut up, that's my Goddaughter and best friend you're talking about!" Bucky would've decked the other Alpha then and there if it hadn't been for Steve's interference. His hold wasn't actually strong enough that Bucky couldn't shake him off, yet the few brain cells he'd left that didn't run on basic instincts agreed, telling him to stay put.

Steve knew it was a lost cause the moment Bucky said ‘God Daughter’. He could smell Gilmore’s scent shift dangerously, spiking hot peppers and metal. It hit him like a wall, and Steve’s grip tightened on Bucky’s wrist futilely. Frozen.

It was part of his biology that he loathed, and generally, he could struggle his way through but…it was hard being hit with that much raw Alpha and it not make his head spin after being used to everyone around him being on blockers. Worse, it was a scent he knew even if he’d hoped it would never cling to his nose again. 

Gilmore clearly wasn't used to others, especially an Omega contradicting him instead of backing down and rolling over in defeat. As if he's the only one worthy of the freedom of speech. Bucky would love to staple his mouth close, mostly for the last comment, which made his blood boil.

Gilmore wanted to sue someone? Be his fucking guest, the thought briefly crossed his mind before his body went into action. Bucky didn't use the hand Steve was holding onto, but the other one when hitting Gilmore in the face, knuckles connecting with a clean-shaven cheek. Not enough to break the bone, just a colorful shiner he could show off to the judge.

Bucky had given the fucker a dozen chances to leave before the situation escalated and Gilmore had spit on every single one of them. It felt right to lash out after getting provoked over and over again.

Before Steve knew it, Bucky struck Gilmore. Immediately Steve let go, a note between a growl and a keen filling his chest. The last thing he’d wanted was for Bucky to get in a goddamn fight that wasn’t even his, to begin with!

Gilmore reeled, blinking as if he hadn’t seriously thought Bucky would sit there and cold-cock him. It didn’t take him long to recover, and he made to lunge, only for Steve to interject himself between them and shove roughly at Gilmore’s chest.

“Stop it!” Steve snarled, the commanding tone in his voice pitched high and thin. Even with him in front of Bucky, Gilmore still lashed out with his claws, using his free hand to sweep Steve away. Only the couch kept Steve from tipping over entirely.

Bucky momentarily paused when Steve stepped between them. Despite the rage flooding his system he wasn't going to attack the wrong person, the one he cared about the most. Gilmore didn't show as much consideration, swatting him away like an annoying bug, only pouring fresh gasoline into the flames.

They crashed together violently, punching and kicking like madmen, completely unaware of the police entering the building. Bucky landed hard on his back, but managed to drag Gilmore down with him, uttering noises that didn't sound human, pupils fully contracted. There was no stopping until one of them was going down.

The approaching siren close to the apartment should have registered, but over the pounding of Bucky’s heart nothing else permeated. Of course, the cops were called, even the South Pole had to hear the two Alphas through the paper-thin walls of the apartment. Footsteps charged up the steps, and for once in his life Steve was glad to hear the Brooklyn PD.

Consciously, Steve knew that pumping out high-stress hormones wasn’t helping the situation, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never seen two Alphas fight like this up close, especially when one of them was defending him of all people. Outside of his heat, Steve had barely heard Bucky growl, let alone this…

The two Beta police officers that accessed the room didn't hesitate, quickly assessing the situation and how to get them apart. One of them led Steve outside while the other put on a mask that covered his mouth and nose to avoid inhaling the hormone bomb he was about to drop.

“Here, focus on me.” The Beta officer pushed a low rumble into her voice and cracked some kind of scent-neuralizer under Steve’s nose. The effect was immediate, and he sagged, only held up by the officer’s grip. A jellied weakness threatened to take his legs out from under him, and his pulse raced through his veins so hard it felt like it would leak from his ears.

Bucky had no idea where the smoke came from. It didn't smell like fire, but so intense that he scrunched up his nose in displeasure. The will to fight suddenly drained out of him leaving him laying on his side, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. 

Fuck, he'd never been tranquilizer-gassed before, only heard it in the news when the police had to use their most efficient weapons on dangerous Alphas. Artificial, modified Omega hormones. Bucky had felt calmed down around Steve before, but this shit was next level. His limbs felt heavy and his brain seemed to have slowed down, working on standby mode.

Something cold wrapped around his wrists, handcuffs snapping into place. "Sit up.", someone ordered him and Bucky reluctantly lifted his upper body off the floor. He's feeling dizzy, almost as if he's drunk. 

Steve was sat against the wall while the officer returned to her partner for backup. Blessedly, he wasn’t left alone for long, since every neighbor that knew them had started peering from their doors or up from the stairwell by now.

"The hell you puttin' in there…” Bucky muttered at the officer, who's giving Gilmore the same treatment, just to make sure none of them could pick up where they'd left once the effect subsided.

Gilmore was in similar straits as Bucky, eyes hooding drunkenly as the artificial hormones hit him. His tailored coat was in ruins and blood stained his shirt and even he wasn’t sure if it was more his own or Bucky’s. 

He was hauled up onto his knees, weakly glaring at the officer that cuffed him. ”The Omega….’s mine. ‘S my pup.”, he insisted as the officer started calling in the disturbance. The term ‘territory squabble’ had Gilmore swaying, wanting to make objections but to out of it to try. 

"His name 's Steve, asshole.", Bucky couldn't help but correct Gilmore's fucked up choice of words, despite his tongue feeling like it was stuck to the roof of his mouth. Couldn't the officers tell he's the bad guy here by the way he treated a pregnant Omega like an object he owned?

Once most of the smoke had cleared Steve was guided back in and the two officers started in. Steve expected — honestly, he didn’t know what to expect anymore, but the implication that he was cheating on ‘his Alpha’ made him bristle. He knew how this looked, that it was an odd situation. Legally, yeah, this was ‘Gilmore’s pup, but he insisted Gilmore had given up that right. Naming Bucky as the God parent had helped, but he could still see the looks in the officer’s eyes. He didn’t want Gilmore anywhere near him or his baby, and his insistence he was going to pursue a restraining order was met with vague chagrin. To the police this was nothing more than a messy domestic situation.

It made Bucky sick having to listen to the discussion and the way they talked to Steve, making it sound like he'd been the one provoking the fight. Steve had been the one trying to keep them apart for Christ's sake. Since neither Alpha's had been heavily injured and had a blank slate the officers decided to only reprimand them. Next time it's going to become an actual case with more serious consequences. 

Steve took the time to mentally pat himself on the back for only saying what he thought of the justice system under his breath, instead of yelling it, but the officers heard him all the same. He didn’t give a shit if they rolled their eyes at the situation or their annoyance at having to deal with one of those Omegas. He got the impression they had a few choice words for Bucky as well. If he wasn’t so exhausted he’d have told them to shove their opinions up their asses.

Bucky had to hold back a snort when one of the officers advised Steve trying to talk about the issue in a civilized manner with Gilmore once everyone had calmed down. Still under the influence of the hormones they called a cab for Gilmore to drive him back home while Bucky was led into his apartment on wobbly legs.

They didn't exactly put him under house arrest, but made it clear that he should walk right back to Steve as soon as his vision stopped tilting around the edges. I'm not a threat to him, he'd have liked to point out, but doubted that the officers would care much about his statement. They thought of him as an affair Steve was having, probably to make Gilmore jealous. Well, they couldn't be farther away from the truth.

Lying on his sofa with his head propped up against the arm rest Bucky closed his eyes quickly losing track of time.

Julio and Dan didn’t give Steve the option of staying around in the apartment, even if he wanted to go check on Bucky after the officers had pointedly parked him in his own apartment. Steve’s apartment was a firm no-go at least until the morning, needing to air out from not only the officer’s smoke-bomb but the lingering stink of the altercation as well. Dan ran up to give the place a thorough coat of scent-neuralyzer but even that had to waft away before Steve could breathe it.

Being plied with cookies and warm blankets helped settle his raw nerves, but Julio's angry pacing and ranting about how Omegas were treated made him feel more justified. Knowing that he and Bucky weren’t the only people around here that thought it was bullshit helped. Even Dan got a little fangy when Steve explained what was going on, and Dan was one of the most mellow Alphas Steve had ever met. 

Despite their best efforts, the married couple couldn’t keep Steve on their floor for long. It was nearing ten in the evening when Steve carefully (and under supervision) made his way to his floor. He ignored his apartment completely, instead going to Bucky’s door that was still unlocked from the police.

He found Bucky on the couch, and the tight knot in his chest unraveled. 

Wordlessly, he went over to the couch and crawled over Bucky to tuck himself between the cushions and Bucky’s side, burying his face in Bucky’s shirt. The cotton still smelled horrible, but underneath it all he could sniff the barest hints of _Bucky_ brought out by the altercation. They were hard edged and sharp from prior emotions, but even that was enough for Steve to anchor himself.

Blinking his eyes open when Bucky heard footsteps approach a weak smile tugged at his lips at the sight of Steve joining him. They laid next to each other in silence for a while with Bucky gently raking his fingers through Steve's hair. A repetitive motion that had a soothing effect on both of them, although Bucky thought that if he grew anymore relaxed he might melt and drip down onto the floor. Steve's scent was much more pleasant than the artificial scent.

Steve rumbled under Bucky’s touch, a low droning purr that reverberated through his entire body. Normally he tried to keep the purring to a minimum but he was too tired to care. They’d fanned their secondary left and right tonight and he didn’t think Bucky would begrudge him for just letting it go for a while.

‘Course Bucky had to go ruining it by talking.

"...sorry for losing my mind like that. I didn't want to scare you." He murmured quietly, unsure if Steve was still awake or had dozed of a few minutes ago. The stress must've done a real number on him. "Don't think I ever got this mad before." His emotions had been all consuming, turning off his rational thinking and giving him tunnel vision. 

As much as Bucky disagreed with the police officers interpretation of the incident he's glad they'd stepped in before anyone got seriously hurt. Not even Steve would've been able to reach him when he got stuck in the Alpha's mindset.

"I just hope he won't come back..." Bucky didn't know how realistic that wish was, if their fight would make Gilmore try harder to take Steve and the baby away from him.

Steve’s purr deepened to a growl. ”I told you not to, Bucky Barnes.”, he leaned up enough to stare down at the Alpha, and as exhausted as he was he still had enough fire in him to say his piece. ”I know what kind of man Gilmore Hodge is, and I _told_ you he wasn’t worth that.” He bared his petite fangs at Bucky for emphasis, letting Bucky know just how serious he was. 

"I know...should've listened to the brains in this relationship." Bucky winced in apology. "Couldn't just- do nothing when he kept objectifying and insulting you like this." He half-heartedly defended his stupid actions. Truth to be told he hadn't been able to think that far ahead and come up with worst case scenarios. His mind had screeched at him to protect his mate and beat the other Alpha, in a quite literal way.

“You could’a gotten arrested! Or...or worse!” Try as he might to stay mad, the fear from earlier crept back in. Steve balled his hands in the fabric of Bucky’s shirt, eyes rapidly misting.

”You’re….one of the only good things I got. You can’t be a stupid Alpha and go ruining that. I’ve had enough stupid Alpha bullshit to last a lifetime, you hear me?”, he sniffed. ”I don’t need you fightin’ my battles. I just...I just want to know you’re in my corner.”

As much as he wanted to press against Bucky and bury his face against Bucky’s scent gland until those stupid pills wore off, he wouldn’t. Tonight had made it abundantly clear what kind of baggage Steve carried with him, and he’d dragged Bucky into it deep enough. He couldn’t...he couldn’t have Bucky the way he wanted. Not while another Alpha was still trying to make his life a living hell. If Bucky happened to say yes and Gilmore won a custody case? Steve couldn’t think about it. It would be bad enough losing his daughter, but Steve knew it would break Bucky as well. At least like this there was enough distance as a buffer. Bucky’s Alpha nature had already shown him Bucky was too close to the situation, but there was little to do about it now. Steve was just going to have to play damage control. 

"Yes. I know, Stevie.", Bucky confirmed and the last thing he wanted to do was add any more crap on the huge pile of shitty stuff Steve had to endure by other Alphas already. "I'm always gonna have your back." He assured him, trying to defuse the tension by nuzzling Steve's cheek, but apparently they weren't done talking yet. Even worse Steve’s eyes turned glassy, tears spilling over making Bucky feel guilty for being the cause of his friend's sorrow.

“...he’s going to be back, Buck. Probably worse. I can’t — I can’t have you doing something like that again.” Tears tracked down his cheeks to fall on Bucky’s shirt. ”Promise you won’t. Promise me or...or…”, he trailed, the pained expression doubling. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Steve would have to do, but it was the one thing he didn’t know if he could. Moving away from the building after this year would hurt more than getting kicked out from Gilmore’s. He’d been used to letting places go before Gilmore had moved him in, but even then that place had never been _home_. This place, his apartment, Bucky, that was home now, but he’d give it up if it meant saving Bucky from doing something stupid again.

"Please, don't! I-" Iloveyou. Ineedyou. Bucky wanted to confess so badly, jaw working around the words lodged in his throat. "I can do better, just...don't leave." Bucky he begged Steve. His words were like a faint echo from the past. Hadn't he asked Dot for the same?

Steve’s heart stuttered. Bucky looking at him like that made him want to let his resolve slip. That maybe, possibly, Bucky felt the same way about him and it wasn’t just his status pushing Bucky to protect an Omega in need. It felt stupid and selfish to think maybe Bucky had wanted this all along. The daydream felt too good, and Steve knew a thing or two about too good to be true.

"I promise." Bucky uttered, voice shaking, fingers brushing away Steve's tears and held onto his face, leaning their foreheads together.

Steve’s heart broke a little more hearing Bucky so open and vulnerable when a few hours ago Bucky had actively tried to bite through Gilmore’s hand. Bucky might be an Alpha but to Steve he was a big kitten. Was it stupid of him to want to protect Bucky? He was pretty sure conventionalists would have a coronary at the idea of an Omega being protective over an Alpha’s feelings and comfort when they saw it the other way around. 

“Okay.” Steve whispered, ignoring the urge to lean down and capture Bucky’s lips with his own. And God how he wanted to. He wanted to reassure Bucky that he wouldn’t leave, couldn’t dream of it, but — He’d done hard things before. He'd survived a sickly childhood, survived watching his mother waste away, and survived Gilmore, he could survive breaking Bucky’s heart if he had to, to keep Bucky from doing something he regretted. If that was being in a relationship, or getting seriously hurt because of Gilmore, Steve wouldn’t allow it. 

"Okay." Bucky repeated just to reassure himself that Steve was going to stay, that this wasn't goodbye. The underlying scent of desperation and burnt coffee slowly started to slowly fade away.

Steve sniffed once more, grip loosening. ”Can I stay here?”, he whispered. It was a direct contradiction to his resolve. ”I...don’t want to be alone after that.” He couldn’t go back to his apartment and while there were options of where to stay the night, he only wanted to stay here.

"Of course, maybe not on the couch tho. You can have some of my clothes to change into." Buck offered, so they didn't have to go to bed with the smell of the fight still clinging to the fibers of the fabric.

Pulling back first to get up Bucky went for the bedroom, leaving the door wide open while rummaging through the wardrobe. Everything in there was obviously too big for Steve except for the stomach area. Bucky picked a soft cotton shirt and a pair of long shorts to reduce the risk of Steve tripping.

"You can change in here, I'm gonna clean up real quick." He let Steve know, handing over his clothes and bypassed him to enter the bath, where he took a shower and put on some fresh clothes himself. Better.

Steve visibly relaxed, wiggling himself up off the couch to follow after. Only when he was seated on Bucky’s bed waiting for Bucky to shower did he realize he’d never actually been in Bucky’s bed longer than just to wake Bucky up on occasion. Except, despite it being Bucky’s there was a distinct lack of scent that Steve sorely missed. He was starting to understand why naturalists chose not to take scent blockers. He wasn’t sure if he could stand to take them after all of this. 

He should probably shower, considering his own scent was still dense and layered with notes of his fear, anxiety, and restlessness, but he was just too tired. Even after Dan had retrieved his medications for him Steve still felt off and his pulse thready. He would have to rest for days after this, and he wasn’t looking forward to all of the bed rest. 

Sighing, he dragged his clothes off, momentarily blushing at being nude in Bucky’s room. He quickly changed, pulling on the soft, well-worn clothing with a small smile. He still had Bucky’s sweatshirt from Christmas he wore more than he ought to, be he liked being wrapped up in Bucky’s clothes for reasons he stubbornly refused to think about right now. 

By the time Bucky returned Steve had fallen asleep on top of the blankets, one of Bucky’s pillows clutched tight to his chest. He’d meant to wait up for Bucky, but as soon as he’d laid down sleep had pulled him under.

"Oh Steve..." Bucky murmured with an affectionate smile plastered onto his lips when he found him to be fast asleep in his bed already. He couldn't just leave him like that. Bucky carefully folded the blanket over his body, so he wasn't going to freeze his toes off. Bringing the quilt from the living room Bucky used it as a blanket for himself, snuggling up against Steve's backside. There's no use of staying on his side, knowing that he's going to wake up curled around Steve's body anyway. He might as well do it while he's still conscious. 

Softly nosing at the back of Steve's neck Bucky was satisfied with the fact that his scent had returned to what he'd learned was the baseline, just a very delicate note of sweetness. Bucky allowed himself to drift off too, never having much trouble to fall asleep with Steve next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at you sweet beans, thinking those dummies were done not talking about their feelings for each other 8)


	18. Chapter 18

Just like he'd predicted Bucky woke up with a bundle in his arms and the sound of Steve's quiet breathing. They'd shared a bed at his parent's place in his old room, but somehow it didn't hold the same meaning as sleeping in his current home. 

Bucky let his mind wander, picturing how it might be if this weren't just an exception. If Steve moved in with him and what it would be like to sleep and wake up together on a regular basis; Steve complaining about morning breath when Bucky plastered his face with kisses to lure him out of bed. Bucky had dared to hope that his dream had come within reach after New Year's Eve, but after what happened with Gilmore the other day he wasn't sure where they're standing anymore.  
-  
The next few days were a blur of making sure Steve’s apartment was properly aired out, neighbors fussing(at them both), catching up on work, and looking up Pro-Omega lawyers that would consider taking his case at reduced cost or pro bono if Gilmore decided to do as he’d threatened. 

Three days passed in a constant haze of stress and every time he climbed into his bed Steve wished he could walk to the next apartment over and curl next to Bucky like he had. Steve had woken cradled by Bucky’s body, warm against his back. He’d woken relaxed in a way he hadn’t experienced since they’d shared a bed at Christmas. That was exactly the reason he didn’t give into the temptation because he knew Bucky would let him. Bucky let Steve get away with too much, so Steve was just going to have to find the willpower to draw a line. For both their sakes. 

It wasn’t like he stopped everything, they still shared either breakfast or dinner together, still texted, were still best friends. Steve just didn’t allow himself to get as close to Bucky on the couch, leave blankets or sweaters at Bucky’s full of his scent like he had before, and he’d asked Julio’s help replacing all plug ins in his apartment. Maybe Bucky wouldn’t feel so protective over him if Steve didn’t bombard him all of the time with his pregnancy-scent.

Bucky didn't miss the little changes that happened during the following days. The new plug ins might be coincidence, but Steve no longer littering his place with his stuff? Kinda suspicious. Bucky didn't bring it up in any of their conversations tho. He could play along, pretend that nothing had changed just like after their kiss.

Steve was due date for his baby next week and Bucky didn't want to put any additional stress on him by defining their relationship. There's more than enough time afterwards.

The morning of the fourth day after Gilmore’s unwelcome visit, Steve woke up and knew his body had finally buckled under the pressure. He groaned, curling into his blankets with a hard shiver. Even without getting up for his digital thermometer he could feel fever burning at his skin, cold sweat clinging to his nape. Pressure pushed hard on his lungs that only slightly lessened with his inhaler, and he didn’t dare take much else for fear of what it could do to the baby. 

Only a surge of nausea pushed him out of bed with a ferocity he hadn’t experienced since the beginning months of his pregnancy. By the time his body had purged everything in his stomach, bile included, Steve didn’t have the energy to do much more than lean against his sink and wait until the dizziness passed. 

Texting Steve during his lunch break Bucky didn't get a reply about what Steve wanted to eat for dinner tonight. Maybe he was busy with his chores or taking a nap. By the time he took the bus back home and still didn’t have an answer Bucky started to worry, his mind immediately conjuring images of Steve laying unconscious on the floor for whatever reason.

Taking two steps at once Bucky quickly climbed the stairs and briefly knocked on the door before using his spare key to open it. Steve was laying on the couch, looking sickly pale aside from his ruddy cheeks.

Steve was vaguely aware of the knocks on his door but couldn’t bring himself to move. He’d managed to crawl onto the couch with a glass of water nearby a few hours ago and hadn’t moved since. He hadn’t even turned the television on. Sitting quietly and trying to keep the room from spinning felt like the only sensible course of action. Eventually, he’d bring himself to try drinking the water and maybe he could keep it down. 

"Oh shit..." It escaped his lips without thinking when he moved closer to kneel down beside Steve, placing a hand over his forehead. "You're burnin' up. Do you need me to get you to a hospital?"

He roused when Bucky pressed a hand to his face, leaning into the touch with a small rumbled protest. “Dunno...doc said I’d just feel bad ‘cause the...pre-eclampsia, ‘specially...not inducing early.” He mumbled, blinking weak, glassy eyes open. “Probably just that and stress.”, Steve dismissed.

He’d felt awful the entire pregnancy so this was probably just a hiccup. He got sick at the drop of a hat, and he was sure his symptoms were probably just an intense flare up of what the doctor had warned him about.

Trying to prove a point Steve struggled upright, screwing his eyes shut momentarily as dizziness gripped him. Immediately, he waved Bucky off. ”’m okay, just dizzy.” The pamphlet he’d been given at the doctor’s office told him that this wouldn’t be a picnic, especially the closer it got to the day they were going to induce him.

Bucky was skeptical regarding Steve's explanation. Sure, it was possible, but maybe those symptoms were connected to a completely different problem. Frowning at Steve's unconvincing show of well-being Bucky held out the glass for him to take a sip of water. He assumed Steve hadn't eaten anything so far due the lack of candy wrappers.

"Alright, Mr in the pink. If you're still boiling on the inside by tomorrow we should really visit the doc anyway, just to be on the safe side..." Bucky remarked, instead of pointing out that Steve couldn't give birth in his current condition. Hell, he's barely strong enough to sit up without keeling over.

Steve looked at the glass with the same reservation someone would look at a truck stop tuna fish sandwich. Still, he sipped, sagging with relief as the cool water flooded his abused throat. He only hazarded a little, just enough to slake his thirst. His body itched for more, but anything else was likely to come right back up. 

"Think you can keep some pudding down?" Not the kind of dinner Bucky had initially in mind, but right now all that counted was getting something in Steve's stomach that didn't immediately make him feel sick and throw up.

The mention of a semi-solid had Steve faintly green. He shook his head, leaning back against the pillow with a grimace. ”Not...right now.”, Steve deflected, not wanting Bucky to know just how awful he felt. He probably looked about as peachy as he felt, but he just didn’t want Bucky to worry. Steve was used to this, in some way shape or form he _always_ got sick, and he would always get over it. Pregnancy aside, this was normal. 

His eyes lingered on Bucky, wishing he could curl closer and lay his head on Bucky’s chest to hear the Alpha’s rumble resonate with his own. He’d never even heard that sound out of Bucky before, didn’t dare dream about it. Steve knew if he did then his facade would break and he’d never be able to go back. Maybe that’s why Bucky was so careful around him, barely ever letting his designation show. He’d never seen an Alpha project as little as Bucky did. 

“How was work?”, he forced himself to ask casually, averting his gaze.

Steve stayed where he was, not shifting to sprawl himself against Bucky like he normally would. He figured he had a good excuse, in case this was contagious, he didn’t want to get Bucky sick. Anything but the truth.

Seeing Gilmore again had shaken him to his core. The idea that everything he’d built the past eight months could be ripped away on some whim of an Alpha was his worst nightmare. The courts would award Gilmore his child if they went to court. It was obvious why. The baby would have money, the best schooling, probably even a proper house if Gilmore sent her to live with his mother and sister. Everything a kid could ever ask for, aside from a loving parent. And that’s what scared Steve the most. He might have grown up without a lot, but his mother had loved him fiercely. She’d sacrificed everything a person could sacrifice to make sure he’d survive and know love. If he was even half the parent his mother was, then his daughter would know she was the most special kid in the world.

Hearing Bucky talk dragged his feverish worry back to earth. He chortled along with Bucky’s stories, quietly glad that he had such good friends in his coworkers. ”I’m sure they’ll be glad when I’m up to baking again.” Steve teased since he’d taken to baking extra after Bucky had his sweets threatened at work one too many times. He’d never had the courage to go down there himself, too afraid it would be strange that Bucky had a best friend in an unmated pregnant Omega.

"You betcha. They're always asking how you're doing and when they're gonna meet ya." Bucky told him with a warm smile. Sure, he's getting a lot of comments regarding Steve and his rather unique friendship, but never ill-natured. They're glad that Bucky didn't sit alone at home, only leaving for work. And yes, they had really grown addicted to Steve's baking.

Attempting to eat after an hour was a mistake. It ended up with him right back in the bathroom, wincing at the harsh sting of bile in his abused throat. His fever wasn’t doing any better, in fact, it might be getting worse.

Gently rubbing Steve's back while the chocolate pudding made a reappearance Bucky couldn’t help the downward twist of his mouth, brows furrowing. "Steve...it's only getting worse.", he voiced what they both were thinking. "Please let’s visit the doctor. If it's stress induced he could prescribe you something to calm down."

Briefly breaking contact Bucky fetched Steve a glass of water. He might not be able to keep that down either, but at least he could wash the sour taste from his mouth. Most offices would be closed by now, yet there's always a few open for emergencies or the hospital.

"I'm not leaving you alone like this." Bucky wouldn't be able to sleep with Steve being sick and refusing to see a doctor. He couldn't force him either 'cause that's not how they worked and it would upset Steve only further.

A low whining whimper pulled from Steve’s throat before he could stop it. He felt miserable. Beyond miserable. It was too hard to hide how much this was sucking the energy right out of him. He’d been grievously ill before, more times than he had birthdays, but this was almost too much.

Still, he shook his head, shakily sipping at the glass of water and leaning against his sink cabinet. “I...hate going to the hospital, Buck.”, he cast his glassy eyes up at the Alpha, willing Bucky to understand. He’d spent so much time in and out of hospitals, doctor’s office, draining his mother mentally and financially that the hospital felt akin to torture. 

Steve wasn’t even trying to keep his designation in check anymore. He didn’t care that he didn’t have a scent-plug in his bathroom, or that it wasn’t proper to sit and make little half-vocalized notes every time his body twitched with a cramp. He was exhausted, hungry, thirsty, and he was getting a little tired of having Bucky watch him puke over the last eight months.

"I know...I know darling." Bucky tried to soothe Steve, despite not having his calming scent to back him up or overlay the smell of burnt sugar and stomach acid.

It was funny. In his delirium, he thought Bucky had called him something sweet. Darling. It had to be the fever talkin’ because Bucky had never called him anything quite that saccharine before. He loved it.

The pleasure of the pet name faded into the rolling ache of his body, and soon, his awareness of his surroundings faded to only the immediate. Bucky petting him, his voice floating somewhere off to the side, and the ever-present horrors wracking his body. 

"Just want you to feel better. I don't want to see you hurting." Bucky kept talking to Steve while gently caressing his face and neck, doing his best to subtly guide him out of the bathroom back onto the couch. "I know I'm asking a lot of you right now...but I know you can do it. You're the strongest person I know, Stevie."

Using his phone to call them an Uber Bucky stayed by Steve's side and held him close, waiting for the message that the driver had arrived. Steve seemed barely conscious anymore by the time Bucky picked him up and carried his friend downstairs. He went straight for the hospital, not wanting to waste time sitting in a waiting room for hours. 

Fear gripped Steve as he weakly clung to Bucky, feeling his body lifted. What if he’d waited too long? What if this was really it this time and he’d not only endangered himself but his daughter? What if...what if he left Bucky behind?

His consciousness dripped, and when he next blinked he could hear Bucky talking with the doctor.

The fact that a baby was involved probably helped, because once they arrived a nurse quickly got them into a doctor's office where he laid Steve down. He told the doctor all about the symptoms, Steve's pre-existing conditions and the meds he's currently on.

"H-he’s gonna make it, right?" Bucky fretted, never straying far from Steve’s side.

“We’re going to monitor him.”, the doctor deftly deflected. ”I’m not going to lie to you, Mr Barnes is it?” His brow rose slightly, noting the patient and the Alpha’s names were different but the Alpha stank of the Omega’s stress hormones.

"Yes." Bucky confirmed, worried that the other man might stop talking as soon as he realized Bucky wasn't Steve's mate. He clearly didn't look like his brother either.

”His condition is dire. You’re already aware of the pre-eclampsia? Being his first child, it isn’t surprising he developed it, considering his — unique situation. He should have been induced earlier, but that was his physician’s call.” 

Dammit, did this mean Steve's physician had made the wrong call? Bucky was going to strangle him with his stethoscope if he lost either Steve or the baby because of that decision.

The doctor’s eyes softened a tad. ”We’re going to do all we can to ensure the health of your Omega, and child. But Mr Rogers is going to have to be admitted and stay in the ICU. It’s likely his physician will want to induce him as soon as the fever breaks, or before if the scans come back the baby is in distress.

"Thank you. Anything- whatever they need.", Bucky agreed shakily. It didn't matter how high the hospital bills were going to be. He'd ask his parents for credit. He'd sell that useless ring he'd bought for Dot sitting in the back of his drawer and if he had to the bike as well. Nothing was worth more than Steve and his child to him.

Being left alone with Steve for a moment until he got transferred Bucky leaned down to lean their foreheads together. "It's gonna be alright. I'm with you, Stevie. We're gonna get through this together and go back home.", he promised him between shallow breaths.

In that floating, awful place he was in, Steve felt the press of Bucky’s forehead against his own. Slowly, his eyes blinked open to see Bucky above him, and some of the crushing fear seeped out of his body. Bucky was here, that meant everything had to be alright. Bucky hadn’t steered him wrong yet. He was just so damn tired though.

Steve snaked a hand out, fingers wrapping around Bucky’s wrist just to hold it there, enjoying the feeling of his skin. Dimly, he knew it was rude, since Bucky’s scent glands were still there despite the scent-suppressors, but he didn’t think Bucky would be mad.

Considering his condition, it didn’t take long for Steve to get transferred into a room in the ICU. The sheer amount of syringes that went into his IV bag was a little concerning, but the concern was nebulous, slipping away before it fully cemented.

All the while, he didn’t let go of Bucky’s wrist, pulling it close to bury his face against his palm. Distantly, he thought it would have been nice if he could smell his ma — Bucky, smell Bucky’s scent over the acrid, sterile environment around them.

The nurse didn't request Bucky to leave or step away, so he didn't, letting Steve nuzzle his hand. Anything that brought him comfort and made him feel better. Steve probably wasn't aware what he's doing, considering the staggering amount of medication he's given. 

The nurse looked up as she was done getting Steve situated. ”We’ve given him some medicine to bring his blood pressure down. Once he’s stable we’ll check on the baby okay?” The beta woman offered a kind smile. ”If you need anything, press the call button. I know you’re not mated, but they should still let you stay after visiting hours.”

"Sounds good.", Bucky nodded, grateful that she spoke in terms he could follow. All that Latin stuff was just one big question mark. "Thanks, that means a lot.", he replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed to watch over Steve. 

When it became clear that he'd fallen asleep Bucky sent a short message into the garage group chat to let them know that Steve was in the hospital and he most likely wouldn't show up for work tomorrow. He's lucky to have such understanding friends and business partners. Anyone else would've given him the boot for calling in sick because his neighbor needed his help. They're so supportive even when they weren't romantically involved.

Bucky briefly let go of Steve to pull up a chair next to his bed, resting his head beside Steve on the flat pillow. His back was going to kill him in the morning for slumping like this, but he couldn't care less.

Steve didn’t rouse fully until a few minutes before the ultrasound. He blinked awake, wincing at the stabbing pain of the dim lights. His head hurt, his — his everything hurt honestly. But the fogginess wasn’t as bad as before. Fluids, most likely. Who knew what else they’d pumped into him. 

Before he could think about talking to Bucky, a different doctor arrived with the portable ultrasound and started to prep him. Steve clutched Bucky’s hand a little tighter, the scent of distress and sickness rolling off him in droves.

The ultrasound itself was no surprise, but the wait was. The doctor hummed, peering close.”The good news is, the fetus isn’t in immediate distress.” Steve braced himself for the inevitable — “But, her heart rate is faster than I’d like, and your fluid pressure is high.” She sat back, letting a nurse wipe away the gel from Steve’s round belly. 

“There’s going to be a few options you’ll have to discuss.”, she spoke to them as a whole, unaware that things weren’t as they seem. ”There’s pros and cons to them both, so weigh them carefully. Either you can risk a C-section now while the fetus is stable at a risk to yourself, or you can wait a few days for your body to be stronger. In my professional opinion, I think if you wait, there is a higher chance for complications to arise.”

Complications. The whole pregnancy had been one gigantic complication. Couldn't they give Steve a break?

Bucky felt stunned after the doctor left them with a choice that was most likely going to impact their life. 

"What if you wait one more day? Give yourself some rest and let the meds do their thing..." Bucky attempted to find a compromise, despite only been given two options and frankly it wasn't even his choice. Steve had to make the final call and Bucky was worried he's going to sacrifice himself for the baby. Of course, he didn't want her at risk either. It seemed like no matter what choice one of them had to suffer from the consequences.

Even after the doctor left, Steve stared at the door, biting the inside of his lip. The choice was obvious for him, but the ramifications were staggering. ”Buck...what if something happens to me?”, he muttered quietly, as if speaking any louder might make it real. ”I lost my ma when I was grown and — and it still tore me up. What is she going to do if….if…”

"No. Don't even go down that path, Steve. You've been through so much already, you're gonna survive this too. You'll be able to hold your daughter and get your piece of happiness, you hear me?" Bucky stated, not allowing any doubts. They'd only give each other anxiety thinking about what if.

"I know you. Can't stay down for long.", he added in a more gentle tone, squeezing Steve's white-knuckled fist. "Take the time you need to think about it and do what feels right to you." That's the only real advice he could give him.

Hearing the fear in Bucky’s voice jolted Steve back into the here-and-now. Bucky’s hand on his, right here by his side, it felt more right than he dared ever to say. If he had to do this, he was glad he wasn’t alone and he was with his best friend in the world. A man Steve was sure he’d never be able to properly repay. Not like Bucky would ever let him.

A soft, sad smile settled on Steve’s lips and he scooted close enough where he could carefully lean his head against Bucky’s side.”You know I’ve already made up my mind, Buck. Made it up the moment he said it.” There was only one choice for him and no others. His ma had given him everything, and he’d do the same for his own, even if it meant possibly having to give it all.

Bucky gazed down at Steve's face when he started talking, slightly frowning at his statement. He didn't like where this was going...

"Steve-" He instantly wanted to protest, but didn't want to interrupt him either, clenching his jaw. Don't jinx it!, he wanted to tell him.

“...if something does happen,” Because he had to think about this, he couldn’t leave it to chance, not something this big. ”I know it’s asking a lot — God I know, but...don’t let Gilmore take her?” Steve’s body shivered, doing his best not to sit here tearing up or else he’d start up Bucky. ”He’ll give her everything but what she needs, and — and dammit she’s mine. He got enough of me, he can’t have anything else.”

Steve didn’t know how his life had changed so dramatically in under a year, but it had, and a large part was thanks to Bucky. He didn’t want to ask anything else of Bucky, but this he knew he could trust Bucky with. Buck would fight tooth and nail for this kid, and even if Bucky couldn’t keep her, he’d damn sure find someone that would love and care for her like they should.

"He won't. He doesn't deserve her." Bucky agreed wholeheartedly, blinking rapidly to chase away tears threatening to blur his vision. Steve didn't belong to that bastard anymore and neither would his child.

"You gotta promise me you're gonna fight. If you see the light you better not walk into it cause you're not done here. You still have a lifetime ahead of you. We haven't had our Lord of the Rings marathon yet." Bucky swallowed around the lump rapidly forming his throat. They had so many plans. He'd promised Steve a small bike tour. They wanted to pay the ice cream and waffle place another visit and- he didn't want to do those things with anyone else.

Steve’s quiet smile broadened a little, even as a few tears escaped and tracked down his cheeks. Dammit, it was hard not to love Bucky Barnes when he made it so easy. For once, he was thankful for the unpleasant scents of a hospital, or that he was too sick to scent right. He didn’t want Bucky to smell the kind of feelings he had for Buck when he talked like this.

“‘M not goin’ to no light. My ma would be there, ready to kick my ass for tryin’.”m Steve huffed a small chortle. ”Can’t trust you not to just eat macaroni either.” There was no way in hell he was going to let go that easily. He was free from Gilmore, had a way to raise his kid, and Bucky...he had Bucky for as long as his best friend would allow. It was a hard life, but it was a good one. One he wouldn’t trade for the world. He’d fight for it.

"She doesn't have a name yet. She should before- before the surgery." Bucky uttered, rubbing his thumb over Steve's knuckles. "You might be pretty high afterwards and end up giving her a stripper name after all. Can't have that."

Another quiet breath of laughter shifted him, and Steve tilted his head up to look at Bucky.”Cheater...that’s what I was going to say.” 

"You're the one cheating during every game we play!" Bucky reminded Steve, shaking his head in disapproval. Good thing Bucky wasn't a sore loser.

Steve savored the slide of Bucky’s touch, warm and present.”’n don’t shame sex workers. You watch porn.”, he teased, not wanting to see the watery look on Bucky’s face any longer.

"I appreciate their hard work and you're not allowed to ever check my browser history, Steve. That's another promise I need you to make." Bucky voiced with a slightly strangled laugh. He couldn't believe they went from discussing Steve's last will to porn in under a minute. Unbelievable.

Steve laughed a little stronger, turning his head against Bucky just to smell the day on him. Hints of oil and sweat that Steve had taken to associating with Bucky in the absence of a real scent. A scent that he could dimly remember from Christmas or the brief instance he’d gotten smacked with it during Bucky’s rut. 

“Now I’m real curious.”, Steve smirked, looking up at Bucky with a quirked brow. ”Better watch your laptop from now on.” It was a damn relief Bucky had gone with it. A thread of normal. They weren’t…serious all the time. If they were this balancing act would tip and something would happen that could spiral both of their lives uncontrollably. This was their normal. Steve might not be a dancer, but he could quickstep away from issues like a champion.

“Help me?” Steve’s tone softened. ”I’m no good with words, why ‘m an artist. You remember all those names, the ones in the notebook.” He’d agonized over it, tossing out idea after idea, but he’d been too indecisive, it hadn’t seemed pressing until now.”No dead Presidents either.”, Steve added, a tiny, cheeky smile quirking his lips.

"I liked the Gaelic ones." Bucky admitted with a fond smile. He's probably messing up the pronunciation, but he's willing to learn. "She'd make a great Churchill, just sayin..." it wasn't a real bummer, since Bucky wasn't as much of a history nerd as his dad.

Steve’s expression immediately softened, chest warming with that familiar, overwhelming, if not crushing sensation of good that came with that smile. Even the little joke couldn’t derail the pillowy emotions descending in his core. 

Seriously thinking over the choices for a moment Bucky already had a favorite in mind. "Neila." The female champion. Bucky could tell she's gonna be a fighter just like her dad. "I think Neila would fit her perfectly.", Bucky affirmed, hoping that Steve would agree with him. "Neila Sarah Rogers?"

“Yeah, that — “ Dangit, he was getting teary-eyed again,”-- I like that. That’ll be just fine.”, Steve whispered, squeezing Bucky’s hand. The name was perfect, more than perfect because it was Bucky that had helped pick it out. It was cruel of him, to fold Bucky so deeply into his and his child’s life without telling Bucky just how much it meant to him. When had he gotten so callous? So selfish?

"Has a good ring to it." Bucky confirmed, fingers tracing over the protruding bone of Steve's slim wrist.

Steve’s eyelids were starting to droop, exhaustion taking hold. ”You’re...too good to me, you know that?”, he whispered, knowing his expression was too soft, too open. “‘M sorry...for disrupting your life...you know?”

"No Steve, you've enriched my life. I'm glad we met that day in the hallway. Wouldn't have it any other way." Bucky let Steve know, voice heavy with adoration. Even without saying those three words out loud Bucky hoped that Steve knew he was loved and that the rocky road they'd travelled, his breakup with Dot and their occasional fights had been worth being here today. Together.

"You should rest, Stevie. I'm going to tell them about your decision." Bucky promised, leaning down to place a kiss on Steve's temple. "I'm gonna take care of you.", Bucky whispered against his damp skin. This close Steve's scent was so strong and Bucky could smell his content despite the ongoing discomfort and worries.

Once more he wanted to confess the depths of his feelings for Steve, but that would make it feel like this was his last chance. Bucky swore to himself that he's going to do it when Steve had recovered from the C-section.

Maybe it was the fear and exhaustion talking, but to Steve, those words sounded so close to the ones he wanted to hear. Was it delirium? Selfishness? Or did the shaky, loose boards they’d walked on for months really quake beneath him, threatening to give and plummet them into the wild, exciting free fall of the unknown.

It was just par for the course that his resolve wavered when faced with the very-real threat of death. Now would be the time to say it, wouldn’t it? But — he couldn’t. He didn’t want Bucky pressured into anything thinking it was his dying with or something else so dramatic. Worse, on the off chance Bucky did return his feelings and he did die? He couldn’t do that to Bucky either. It was just better this way. 

He raised Bucky’s hand against his cheek, taking comfort in the warmth for a little while longer until sleep claimed him once more, comforted by the quiet whispered promises against his skin. 

Steve didn’t wake until thirty minutes before the surgery, seemingly more dazed than he’d been the night before. Once more Steve had to make a decision between being sedated and getting an epidural considering his spinal problems. The risk of sedating the baby, or the risk of possible paralysis. Steve of course chose the latter. 

A few minutes before being wheeled away Steve clutched at Bucky’s hand, trying to hide the fear in his eyes. Little sparks of Bucky’s scent came through from his wrist, and Steve hurriedly raised it to scent mark himself, pressing his cheek against the under-side of Bucky’s wrist and murmuring a quiet ‘sorry’. It wasn’t proper, and anyone but Bucky would have probably growled but he needed something to take with him into the surgery. Something that said he wasn’t alone.

He was wheeled away, and while he lay there staring at the ceiling, wishing Bucky had been allowed back, he thought that after all of this, he needed to come clean.

Life however, never worked out quite like how he wanted, despite the stubborn optimism. He didn’t realize something was wrong until he was staring down at the small, fragile little thing cradled in his arms and his vision started to blur. A machine blared loud and the bundle was taken from his arms too soon before darkness greeted him.

Nearly two hours later a doctor walked out up to Bucky. ”Mr Barnes?” The man looked collected for the faint bitter tang of adrenaline still lingering on the Alpha doctor. ”The delivery was a success in that the baby was born and is doing well as can be expected, she’ll need to be monitored for a few days because her lungs are weaker than we’d like. There were a few complications, however. After the birth Mr Roger’s blood pressure dropped. We expected it to a degree, but it was harder to bring back up than expected. He bled more during the surgery than anticipated, and his heart struggled with the sudden drop. That said, he’s stable right now. We’re getting him settled right now, but if you want to see where the baby is while you wait, a nurse can take you there.”

Bucky, of course, accepted readily, trying not to let the chittering fear of what could have happened consume him.  
—-  
Steve had been through a lot of bullshit in his life, but the first few times he’d woken up he was pretty sure he’d never been in more discomfort in his life. He was as weak as a kitten, his insides felt re-arranged, and moving was the single greatest enemy of his life.

The first time he woke up and stayed awake for more than ten minutes he found Julio tutting at the TV watching jeopardy.

“El burro sabe mas que tu…” Julio smirked only to notice Steve was awake. 

Steve learned Julio had all but strong-armed Bucky into going home to eat non-cafeteria food and to shower (Julio stressed this), though he admitted Bucky would likely haul-ass back. At least this was said with a fond eye roll. It was a relief to wake to a friendly face, and an even bigger one to hear that people were taking shifts making sure Bucky didn’t worry himself to death like Steve had feared. 

Hearing that he’d been largely out for two days came as a shock. He didn’t remember anything since passing out on the operating table. Hearing Neila was still under monitoring was worse than the realization he’d come close to dying and fulfilling their worst fear.

“Don’t worry, now that you’re awake, she’ll have you.” Julio soothed. Once the baby was able to take in Steve’s hormones and milk, Neila was sure to perk up.

Julio texted Bucky to tell him Steve was coherent while they talked, though he decided to leave before Bucky could return, ‘so they could have their moment’. Steve was pointedly going to ignore the look Julio was giving him.

Julio was right, Steve shouldn't wake up to the smell of Bucky's not so flowery body odor and overbearing Alpha scent, or he might pass out again. So Bucky took a long shower, popped in his pills and put on some fresh clothes. He'd shoved a frozen pizza in the oven before entering the bath and by now it should be ready. The food didn't taste like much, but it filled his stomach.

His phone chirped with an incoming text message while he nibbled at the last slice and Bucky dropped it in favor of reading the message. Steve was awake! 

Bucky couldn't help the smile taking up his face, quickly texted back that he's on his way with more typos than actual letters. Shoving his phone in the pocket of his pants, Bucky only took a short detour to Steve's place to pick up a few things before heading for the hospital.

He managed to make it in under half an hour, taking the stairs since the elevator was taking literal years. Pushing the door open without knocking first Bucky's heart was beating out of his chest for several reasons. It was a miracle the nurses hadn't grown annoyed and given him a sedative already, though they joked about it a lot.

By the time Bucky returned, a nurse had Neila resting on Steve’s bare chest, both child and father still with oxygen placed under their nose, but looking more pink and solid than either had looked since the birth. Steve’s lower abdomen sported the large bandage covering his stitches, purple bruises littering his abdomen and arms from his delicate skin.

"Steve!" Bucky greeted him happily, trying to keep his voice down, so he wasn't going to startle him or Neila. Walking up to the bed with his bag Bucky sat on the chair Julio had left in place.

The nurse couldn’t quite hide his quiet look of amused exasperation. Steve could only imagine Bucky had been clawing up the walls because Steve knew exactly how Bucky got when he was worried. If he’d been spending all his time around here while Steve was asleep, he must have been driving people nuts. Somehow, it only made Steve happy instead of guilty. He was starting to believe that Bucky really meant it when he said he was happy with their friendship. That Steve wasn’t a charity case or it was just hormones pulling them along. 

"You look better.", Bucky noted with relief, finally seeing some color in that pale face again. "Isn't she the cutest?", he went on, cooing at the baby.

Steve laughed carefully, not wanting to wake up Neila or jostle his stitches. “Isn’t she?” He wasn’t sure how two ugly cusses like him and Gilmore made such a cute kid, but she was an angel as far as Steve was concerned. The barest amount of pale blond hair and semi-transparent lashes, all pink skinned and round? An angel. 

The nurse finished up checking Steve’s blood pressure and took a few last looks at Steve and Neila’s monitors. ”Okay, I’ll be back in a little while. Hopefully you can get baby Neila to nurse a little now that you’re both here.”, he smiled, the nursing staff still completely unaware that the baby wasn’t Bucky’s. Steve had made a decision to leave Gilmore off the birth certificate, which he was sure would come back to bite him in the ass, but he didn’t care. It didn’t feel right. 

Glad that his blood volume was still too weak to blush, Steve cast a small apologetic look to Bucky.”I guess no one really asked.” He chortled softly, running his fingers along Neila’s back.

"Well, I didn't correct them either...was worried they might not lemme stay." Or even worse try to make contact with Gilmore. The last person Steve needed around right now. 

Steve gave a low-rumbled purr that he’d just blame on being happy that Bucky had stayed so much, rather than Bucky not correcting the doctors or nurses. It was the hospital’s fault for making assumptions anyway just because they were Omega and Alpha.

Steve's purr succeeded in melting Bucky's insides into a warm, gooey mass. He loved when Steve uttered those content, more animalistic noises. It was generally frowned upon by society to hiss and growl, which made sense, since those were shows of aggression, but purring? It's simply soothing like a massage for the brain.

“Too bad, I wanted to get her used to you. Since I’m not bonded she’s not going to get the bonded pheromones, so I figure it’d be nice to get her used to the people going to be around her the most.”, Steve reached up, brushing his fingertips against his tender scent glands on his neck before combing his fingers over Neila’s back once more, scent-marking her with the overwhelming notes of milk, daffodils, and oatmeal he was giving off in droves. The sticky apple-pie smell had died down drastically now that he’d given birth, but there was still an under note of apples and honey.

A moment later, his nose scrunched. ”Did you already take your suppressants?” A note of disappointment leaked into his voice. There was still the faint lingering spice of Bucky’s scent in the room that was already well on its way to being too weak for even his heightened pregnancy senses to sniff out. But Bucky’s clothing was back to being a void.

"Uh yes, didn't want to stink up the room any further.", Bucky admitted, although he could tell that Steve didn't appreciate the effort. "Sorry."

"I could speak to the pharmacist and ask her for a weaker prescription?" Bucky suggested, because he couldn't quit completely. At the same time he wanted Neila to recognize him and not get confused by his total lack of scent. 

Different scents...

Bucky hadn't outright sniffed Steve, yet he couldn't ignore the obvious changes. His friend no longer smelled overly saccharine. The new scent was more mellow, slightly flowery and heavily overpowered by milk. It's still the best possible combination and Bucky would've loved to rub his face all over Steve's neck.

Steve perked, a new octave sliding into his purring that said he deeply liked the idea that Bucky was willing to do that. ”If that’s alright? I’m sure if we give Mr Beufort,” The building manager,”A call he wouldn’t mind. Considering the circumstances.” While it wasn’t written in stone that one had to take suppressants, unless you were bonded, old, or a child it was generally accepted as common courtesy in the building and heavily encouraged. There were places, ‘natural societies’ that owned apartment buildings around town that openly encouraged people not to bother, but Steve hadn’t managed to afford any of those when he’d been kicked out of Gilmore’s place. 

Pulling the zipper of his bag down Bucky pulled out Steve's favorite blanket. The one the hospitals provided were alright, but Steve froze easily and this way he had something that reminded him of home. He'd also brought along the little stuffed tiger they'd bought for Neila, after Bucky had convinced Steve that he didn't have to sew everything from scratch.

"I've got Snickers if you want? Might've sat on it though.", Bucky gave Steve a fair warning. 

Steve had to laugh a little more cautiously this time. ”Tempting, but I’ll pass. On liquids for a few days, not that I’m really hungry anyway.” He did have his guts rifled through pretty recently after all.

"Right, stupid question.", Bucky shook his head, trying to clear up his mind. Looking at Steve's chest wasn't exactly helping. It looked...bigger than before? A small A cup if he had to guess and definitely wasn't going to ask. 

"She didn't drink yet?", Bucky asked regarding Neila and the previous remark from the nurse. He didn't know how soon babies were supposed to eat after being born.

“And she hasn’t latched yet, but they think it’s because she’s still recognizing me. I only got to hold her a little before — “ Steve flinched, not wanting to bring up how he’d passed out holding her.”Anyway, she’s been getting liquids and nutrients through the IV in the meantime, but let’s try again.”, Steve carefully rearranged Neila in his arms, using a pillow to keep his arm propped up since his strength was still so weak. Neila didn’t sound appreciative of being woken up, but she quieted after a moment, little nose wiggling. Small little half-vocalized grouses that sounded kitten-like rumbled in her chest and Steve held her closer.

Finally, Steve found the angle and Neila’s instincts took over and she latched. Immediately, Steve’s expression pinched. He hadn’t expected a newborn’s mouth to be quite so aggressive and his chest was disturbingly sore at this point after he’d sat here smelling his newborn for the past hour.

“I think I get why Julio said to buy frozen peas when we get sent home.” He’d said they’d be his best-friend til Neila weaned, and that was a bit of a sobering thought. Jesus, he really was a parent now.

Smiling when Neila started to drink Bucky picked up on the Steve's pained look. Apparently she was hungry and not very gentle. "I'm gonna restock the freezer when we're back.", he assured Steve with a light chuckle.

“Thanks.” Steve was slowly relaxing, getting used to the sensation of Neila going to town on his chest. He’d start pumping now that he was reliably awake, and he wasn’t really looking forward to that either.

"...can I hold her for a moment?" Bucky hesitantly asked after Neila stopped suckling and seemed to doze off again.

When Neila had finally had her fill, Steve re-secured her little blanket and made sure her mittens were in place. The shy question immediately drew a deep, pleased purr from Steve that had a soft blush rising to his cheeks. ”Of course, Buck.” He carefully passed her off, smiling as Bucky sat back with the precious bundle.

Bucky would've agreed to anything that came out of Steve's mouth laced by his sinful rumble. It's like a siren's call and Bucky was one of those seduced sailors willing to drown himself.

"Thank you," gently taking a hold of the small blanket burrito Bucky held her close to his chest, just like he'd done it with his niece when she's little. Neila's tiny nose scrunched up, probably displeased by the relocation.

“Hold her while I pump? Nurse figured it’d be a good idea while I’m awake.” Even as he carefully leaned to pick up the little blue bag from his table, Steve grumbled. The thing looked like a cross between a torture device and a sex toy, but he had to admit the left side of his chest was aching since Neila had only taken from the right. Bucky’s sister swore this was the best pumping kit and that’s what she’d used, so he was going to trust her. That didn’t stop him from cussing as soon as he squeezed the bulb though. Having anything forcefully taken from his body wasn’t comfortable, but his over-sensitive nipples were just ridiculous.

"Go for it.", Bucky approved of Steve's proposal, unknowing what it would entail. His mouth swiftly increased his saliva production, and he had to swallow hastily before he could drool on the poor baby girl. Why did his body have to act so inappropriately? Alright, his sister had claimed it was a normal reaction, an Alpha wanting to soothe his mate's sore chest, but Steve wasn't his mate and he certainly didn't need Bucky to lick his nipples right now.

Steve had to admit it was a little weird seeing all the milk come out of him and into the bottle chamber below. He didn't think he could fit that much in his small chest but at least he wouldn't have to worry about his baby going hungry. He'd been a little worried, since Omegas could have trouble milking without an Alpha's hormones bolstering their system and encouraging them to produce. Something about comfort drives and feeling safe, which all sounded vaguely insulting. The sore chest issue was also something he wasn't pleased over. Why did so much of his body have to rely on a damn Alpha? (The first time he'd read a pamphlet suggesting the Alpha lick their Omegas chest to let their hormones sooth them nearly made Steve choke). 

Sighing, he pumped the last bit and transferred to the right to make sure it was clear. The last thing he wanted was a duct to get clogged or milk to build up and give him anymore discomfort. 

It started with a quiet whimper, evolving into a sob and then Neila started crying. "Aw, no. What's wrong, sweetheart?" Bucky talked softly at her. "I know I'm not as good-smelling and topless as your daddy...", he apologized with a crooked smile. "But I can hold you up much longer. No offense, Steve."

Steve looked over at the fussing, a low note pulsing in his throat, one of question and a knee jerk reaction to wanting to know what was wrong with his child. Instantly, he calmed, chuckling. "Probably because you don't smell like anything. All her stuff has my scent on it and they use Beta pheromones in the nursery when they're first born." To Neila, Bucky probably smelled like a void of soap and pizza. 

"I see.", Bucky uttered with a mournful note, returning the little girl before she's getting any more distressed. He knew it wasn't personal, but he couldn't stop his brain from telling him that he'd just been rejected. Surely he could try again after his scent grew stronger.

Steve smiled to himself. It shouldn’t be so endearing that Bucky was practically pouting, but it made Steve happy that it meant that much to Bucky that Neila liked him. He knew Bucky loved kids, but there was still always a quiet fear that he’d asked too much of Bucky being Neila’s God Parent.

Steve took her back, raising her up to put her closer to his scent glands. She still fussed but at least it wasn't a loud wail anymore. "Doc says her lungs are doing better but they're not where they want them to be. I was born like that though, and at least she — " He paused to yawn,"-- didn't get my heart problems."

"That's good news." One issue less to worry about. "Does that mean she is going to develop asthma?", Bucky asked since Steve had first-hand experience. Maybe they could still do something to support the growth of her lungs or strengthen them. Every year they tested and sold new meds all over the world.

“Maybe, she could grow out of it. We’ll just have to hope. Only good thing about Gilmore’s bloodline is that they’re hearty.” Steve smirked, patting Neila’s back gently and wiping a little more of his scent on Neila at even the mention of Gilmore. So far the Alpha hadn’t sniffed around here, so hopefully that meant he didn’t know Neila had been born yet. 

Bucky was just glad Neila didn't have to undergo surgery herself. "You should sleep some more. I'm gonna stay around, make sure she doesn't crawl away.", he joked lightly, reaching out to gently brush his fingers over the back of her tiny head.

Steve nodded, yawning once more. ”Yeah...I just don’t want to let her go.”, he smiled fondly, pressing his lips to her head. For all the struggles he’d had, the heart ache, it was all worth it. Still, he let Bucky help get Neila situated back in her crib and the additional oxygen turned back on.

"You mind if I watch some baseball?", Bucky asked, remote already in one hand.

“Alphas and their sports.”, Steve teased. ”Go ahead.” He settled back in the bed, reaching over to press the button on his pain-pump now that Neila had eaten. The effects hit him within seconds, and his eyes started drooping. 

"Lemme work off some testosterone by yelling at the TV, Steve." Bucky huffed jokingly in return, zapping through the channels until he found the one he's looking for. Turning down the volume he turned towards Steve, taking his hand.

“Thanks...for being here with me.”, Steve murmured, reaching out from his pile of blankets for Bucky’s hands as he dozed off.

It must feel strange for Steve to be separated from his daughter when she'd literally been a part of him for almost nine months. Only made sense that he felt clingy now and much better than him getting baby blues. 

"No problem, doll. Sleep well." Bucky wished Steve, looking at him for a while longer before trying to get his head in the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting closer to the finishing line, folks! Only a few chapters left, but hopefully all of your hopes and wishes for this fic will come true <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the great feedback on this collab Neon and I consider doing another rp based fic, so don't forgert to subscribe in case you're interested to read more...for an indefinite time in the future!

When it was time to leave the hospital Julio picked them up and they drove home together where the first little challenge awaited them. Steve wasn't allowed to climb stairs for almost two months thanks to the C-section. That's how Julio ended up carrying little Neila while Bucky lifted Steve, bridal style. Steve uttered little grousing notes the entire way up the steps, even if his scent had an underlying spicy note that betrayed his admiration. An Alpha carrying him up the steps was a sign of a good provider and — _crap_ he’d been doing that a lot lately! It was even worse than when he was pregnant! Especially not that he could smell Bucky a little, all he wanted to do was bury his head in Bucky’s neck and scent mark himself to hell and back. 

Bucky was already the perfect Alpha as far as his hindbrain was concerned, and Steve was trying not to be so obvious. Even if he was growing less sure day by day that Bucky might just be doing all of this was an Alpha best friend. Julio and Dan (more quietly) already had opinions on how much best friends didn’t do the kind of thing Bucky did, but Steve was hesitant. He didn’t want either one of them to get their heart broken again.

And maybe it was his imagination and wishful thinking talking, but Bucky had been more free with the pet-names lately. Hun, sugar, doll, little things that would have made Steve punch any other Alpha, but out of Bucky it just felt so soft and endearing. 

"You're lighter than a tire." Bucky claimed, carefully taking one step after another, putting Steve down once they stood in front of his apartment.

“Well sor-ry for being small.”, Steve huffed, pinching Bucky’s arm for the comment as they made their way upstairs, ignoring Julio snickering in the background. 

"Fun-sized." Bucky corrected with a chuckle, earning himself another pinch. Ow.

"Welcome home." Dan had been kind enough to vacuum and clean up the flat a bit, so Steve and Neila wouldn't get a lungful of dust as soon as they entered.

"Thanks Julio." Bucky told his neighbor, gently transferring Neila into his arms, delighted when she didn't start crying after a few seconds. After switching blockers his scent had returned, and he made sure to get Neila used to it. "You're gonna love your new bed, princess.“

“Thanks guy, honestly. It’s — “, Steve sniffled once he was set down on the couch. His hormones were still wild and would be for a little while yet. ” — just...thank you.”

Julio reached over and knocked their heads together gently in the briefest of scent-exchanges Omegas that were close to each other tended to do. “No problem güero, call us if you need anything, the _both_ of you.” Julio said pointedly, since he’d watched Bucky run around like a headless chicken over the past week and a half. “There’s enough food in the fridge to feed an army, we said for everyone to chill but, you know how they get.”, he shrugged helplessly. It was nice living in an area that came together, especially these days, but everyone could butt in a little zealously if you let them.

"What would we do without you guys?" Probably continue to eat frozen food and get gray hairs. Bucky was planning to return to work tomorrow and had asked for either Dan or Julio to check on Steve just in case he needed help with something and Bucky wasn't around.

Once Julio and Dan left, Steve leaned greatly back into the cushions. ”This is ridiculous, I’m exhausted from _you_ carrying me.” He laughed, reaching to make grabby hands for Neila, even if Bucky and Neila were adorable together. “Would you mind getting her pram?”

"Makes it sound like I did a bad job." Bucky commented in mock-offense, handing over the small bundle to Steve. "On my way." Wheeling the pram next to the sofa Bucky went to the kitchen to take a look into the fridge.

"Fuck yes. We got lasagna Steve! No more bland hospital food.", he stated as if Steve had eaten much of it while mostly being on a liquid diet. It was time for him to consume some proper Italian food again. Fetching them both something to drink first Bucky settled on the couch with Steve and Neila. Since the day he'd brought him to the hospital Steve didn't seem to have a problem with them being close anymore. They'd held hands more times than he could count and-

Every day Bucky remembered the promise he'd made to himself. That he's going to confess his feelings after Steve's surgery. He's just waiting for the right moment is all…

Steve looked over his shoulder as Bucky flitted about his kitchen, at home in it as he was in the apartment over. Somehow during the past months the lines between their apartments had blurred. They didn’t even really knock anymore, they just existed with effortless ease, even when they were at odds. When they fought Steve hadn’t worried that they’d quarrel beyond reconciliation since Bucky’s first rut after Dot. They’d argued, sure, all friends did, but nothing that they couldn’t easily get over.

“Yeah, that’s why I saw you shoveling cafeteria mac n cheese down your throat like there was a famine.”, he teased as he rucked up his shirt and pulled aside the clip holding his nursing bra in place to feed Neila first. One shoulder supporting Neila, Steve leaned his other side against Bucky, the quiet contented purr soon kicking up in his throat. He and Neila had Bucky’s scent on them now from casual touches, not strong considering Bucky’s was muted, but it was enough to carry a bit of the Alpha with him. Even if every time he caught a whiff of Bucky’s comforting spice and leather on him he felt guilty he enjoyed it so much.

He was...he was just going to wait until this situation with Gilmore resolved. Then maybe he’d get the courage to tell Bucky these things when time and life allowed.

"It was a life or death situation and I regretted every bite!" Bucky huffed back, wearing the suffering expression of a martyr. Would he ever get used to the breast-feeding and stop overproducing saliva like an excited dog? Luckily Steve was too distracted with Neila to notice Bucky swallow more often than usual, covering it up by lifting the glass of water to his lips. He's still a thirsty man in the middle of an oasis.

It wasn’t easy, especially when Bucky was at work and he had to be extremely careful, but Steve was getting used to it. His body was still weak, weaker than he liked, but the doctor said that was to be expected considering what all he’d been through. His wound was healing, and he hadn’t thrown up again or passed out, so he was counting it as a win. Blessedly, Neila was a ‘good’ baby. Not prone to wailing, though that could just be a side effect of her weak lungs, but she wasn’t fussy as long as someone held her quickly. She’d taken to Julio and his youngest, though her favorite person besides Bucky looked like Mrs Winters. Steve had a suspicion that Neila just liked gentle Alphas, but he wasn’t going to argue.  
-  
Bucky didn't sleep at Steve's place the following days, but he would've heard it through the thin walls if Neila had started screaming during the night. She seemed to be more quiet, only crying when she got cranky due to being hungry.

He was in front of Steve's stove, heating up one of the many dishes the neighbors and friends had left for them in the fridge to eat. Steve ate like a bird, but he managed to keep it down, which was a big win. "Steve, you gotta eat my mushrooms..." Bucky muttered when he noticed them in the food.

“Yeah yeah I’ll eat your damn mushrooms, you toddler.” Steve rolled his eyes as he carefully walked from the bedroom with Neila in a fresh onesie after she had spit up a bit on her last one. It was a cute patterned one Steve had made that looked like a mermaid’s scales in purples, blues, and greens.

A loud knock at the front door made Bucky look up. They hadn't invited anyone and no one tended to be this...aggressive when making themselves noticeable. Walking towards the door Bucky opened it and got hit with an Alpha's scent that was so intense that his whole face scrunched up in disdain. Gilmore.

"What do you want?" Bucky growled at the other man, his body deliberately blocking the entrance and the view to the living room.

Steve just sat down when Gilmore’s scent hit him like a wall and his head snapped towards the door.

Gilmore’s answering growl sent a cold chill down Steve’s spine. “I think it’s pretty obvious what I want.”, Gilmore rumbled, though instead of muscling his way in a feral, sneering grin tugged at his lips and he held up an envelope full of papers. ”What did I tell you I’d do?”

"Oh, was I supposed to listen to the garbage coming out of your trap?" Bucky jeered back, a hint of fangs showing. What he clearly remembered was promising Steve not to start another fight. Therefore he refrained from going straight for Gilmore’s throat.

Gilmore’s nose tilted into the air, openly scenting the area. He could smell milk, but more importantly, he could smell Neila’s soft newborn scent that lit up a primal section of Gilmore’s brain that said _mine_. ”Told him we could settle this easy, but he had to be stubborn.”, he smirked, tossing the file at Bucky to catch.

The warning rumble in the back of Bucky’s throat grew louder when Gilmore got the nerve to start sniffing around, polluting the apartment with his scent.

"You had to be an asshole." Bucky corrected him without missing a beat, fingers tightly curled around the door handle. Using the other hand to snatch up the file that was thrown his way Bucky suppressed the urge to roll it up and shove the papers up Gilmore’s ass.

”Trust him to shack up with some neutered idiot.”, Gilmore looked at Bucky with the same note of condescending disdain as he did last time, but he stepped away.

"What does that say about you?" Bucky remarked with a sharp smile. Gilmore could stink up the place all he wanted, it didn't make him the 'better' Alpha. Steve had refused to return to him, which must've really bruised Gilmore's inflated ego.

“See you in court,” Gilmore’s grin returned, a self-satisfied glee at scenting the Omega-fear rolling off Steve in waves from the apartment.

"Fuck you!" Bucky spit after him, barely refraining from slamming the door shut. He didn't want to scare the baby or Steve, though with the latter it seemed to be too late already. Neila quickly picked up on the mood change too, starting to wail.

Even after Gilmore was shut out of the apartment and a locked door separated them, Steve stared at the door. His heart was a jackrabbit in his chest, trying to run away in its panic. He shivered, holding Neila close, so he could nuzzle her tiny pink cheeks in a vain attempt to calm her. She could smell his distress, and he had no way of calming himself right now to help her. 

Ripping the envelope open Bucky skimmed through the pages. That jerk hadn't lied. Steve was summoned to show up at the court. He couldn't even walk down the stairs by himself!

"Shit..." Bucky cussed under his breath, returning to Steve's side. "We need to find a lawyer."

Bucky mentioning a lawyer only brought it all home. Gilmore was going to try and take the only good thing that had ever come from them. Something Steve had never thought he could have, or even wanted until he’d felt the first kick. Looking at Neila now, he knew that if he lost her it would break him. He couldn’t…

“I — “ He started, voice immediately breaking,” — I contacted a few lawyers when...after Gilmore showed up. From the Omegas in Crisis league, someone there should...should be able to help.” Cradling Neila kept his hands from shaking, but she continued to fuss, scrunching her little nose in distaste at the acrid stink of Gilmore’s anger and domineering presence melding with her father’s fear. 

"That's good, we should give them a call." Tomorrow. Today Steve had to recover from the shock. Gilmore's entrance had ruined their good mood and now Steve was panicking. Bucky didn't want him to get sick again due to the stress.

Slowly, Steve’s eyes tracked up to look at Bucky, little of the fiery, outspoken Omega left that Steve had struggled to recover over the past nine months. This made him feel as lost and adrift as he’d been when he was standing in the middle of the street after being kicked out with nowhere to go.

“He’s going to take her from me, Buck.” Tears started to flow freely, “He’s going to take her and never let me see her again.” Steve’s scent deepened past fear, a muddied earth scent tinged with fog and copper. The scent of someone so well and truly afraid they were preparing for death or something like it. Because if he had to give Neila up it would feel like giving up the rest of himself to a man that had already taken so much.

"He won't get her Steve. No one will take her away from you." Bucky reassured his friend, resting his cheek on Steve's head and wrapped his arms around him, covering the smaller body like a security blanket.

"We're going to convince the judge that you're the better choice, the better parent." He kept talking, nuzzling Steve's temple and trying to calm him down with his own scent, the pepper note no longer in the foreground. Of course, he was spitting mad at Gilmore for fulfilling his threat, but Steve needed him, and he'd always be his first priority.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. There hasn't been a decision yet." And even if...if Gilmore won the case he'd rather run away with Steve and Neila than allow Gilmore to own them. It was a crazy idea, no concrete plan or anything.

Steve cried into Bucky’s shoulder, holding Neila between them as if they could protect her from all the darkness in the world. Sometimes he forgot how bad things really were, already so used to the pocket of relative peace created here. Bucky had spoiled him in ways Steve could only realize how dark and cold his previous life had been. Gilmore was no provider, he’d never cared for him. And maybe Steve had stayed because the option of going had been too terrifying to face, but what choice did he have? Except now...now he knew how good things could be and Bucky wasn’t even his, and he didn’t know if that was better or worse.

Unable to help himself, he pushed his head against Bucky’s neck, scenting the comforting notes of Bucky’s muted scent. The more he breathed the less he cried, and Neila calmed not long after, soothed by the combination of scents above her.

The freshly brewed coffee aroma flared up when Steve's face rubbed over Bucky’s scent glands, a shock wave of pure bliss momentarily flooding his body. Fuck, when was the last time someone had covered themselves in his smell? Too long ago, that's for sure.

Bucky’s scent brightened and Steve could finally slump against him, contentedly snuffing the coffee notes like one would breathe lavender and chamomile. Now that he could smell Bucky more, it was hard not to do this all the time. He’d always wanted to bury his head here, lick and nibble against Bucky’s glands until they were swollen and saturated. Scent mark Bucky until they were both coated, unable to tell where one scent began and the other ended.

Steve had to get his inhaler from his pocket, but even then he tucked his head back as soon as he got a proper lungful of medication. Bucky was too accepting of him doing things like this when they were just friends. Letting him take comfort against his scent glands when they weren’t family or lovers. Too good for him, that much Steve knew.

“Buck...you know the chances of them awarding an Omega like me sole custody are slim to none.”, Steve sniffled. He’d gotten knocked up when he was supposed to be on birth control, and even if he still had a job that was almost as damning as not having one. How was an Omega with a job supposed to take care of a child? The system was still so backwards, so archaic, that Steve had little hope it would side in his favor. One look at his medical history would be the last nail in the coffin.

Trying not to get sidetracked by Steve seeking out comfort Bucky simply kept holding him close.

"You're right." Bucky admitted quietly, after a long, tense pause. "The chances would be better if...I were your mate." He went on, before Steve started thinking he's about to discourage him further.

The only thing that would have been more effective was a cattle-prod. Steve went abruptly still, eyes blooming wide as he frantically tried to puzzle out if Bucky had actually said those words or his brain had finally gone soft from all the stress. Had...had Bucky just suggested they become mates?

It's the most obvious, logical solution. The thought had just occurred to Bucky when Steve scented him. Their neighbors and friends already acted as if they're a couple, anyone on the streets assumed the same and it was a fact that they basically lived together at this point. There's barely anything left they'd have to fake, especially in court.

"It's gonna be harder for Gilmore to convince the judge to rip Neila out of an existing family." Bucky was one of the owners of a well-working garage, he could provide for Steve and his child. Maybe he didn't have as much to his name as a schmuck like Gilmore, but he also hadn't kicked out his pregnant mate. If they played their cards right, they could still win this battle.

The world seemed to abruptly shift, and Steve’s scent was as confused as he was. Neila squirmed, her peevish whines that she was getting tired. Steve could sympathize. As much as he was loathed to move he leaned up to snag the end of the pram and pull it close, so he could gently deposit her inside. 

Now that he wasn’t plastered against Bucky’s neck he could think a little more clearly. Bucky hadn’t said ‘we should be mates’ he’d said ‘if’. And yes, it would be a lot easier. The court couldn’t argue another Alpha’s claim when the first one had rejected Steve. Steve had the documentation from the Omegas in Crisis League to prove Gilmore had abandoned him when he was pregnant. With another Alpha in the picture…

“Buck…” Steve looked pained, torn between enthusiastically accepting and realizing this for what it was. ”You don’t have to do that. You’ve already done so much for us.” He couldn’t ask Bucky to give up his chance to find a suitable partner, at least for as long as it took to get Neila safe. Steve knew his presence already warned others away from Bucky, but he’d just wanted to be selfish about it for a little while. But this? This had a bigger price tag on it than Steve wanted for Bucky.

"It's not enough Steve and you know it. It would've been all for nothing if he ends up taking her away. This is my choice, my offer, you didn't ask for anything..." Bucky reminded Steve, getting up from the couch. They could both use a little distance after he dropped such a bomb out of nowhere.

"Think about it and if we don't come up with a better solution that's the right thing to do. Don't think this is gonna be a hardship for me, Steve." Bucky was toeing the line here, might've already said too much. He couldn't believe that he's about to get what he'd wanted since...for a very long time, yet the relationship wouldn't be real. A pretense.

Steve stared up at Bucky as he stood up, heart racing, and feeling a bit dizzy. Bucky was serious about this. Serious about projecting the image that they were together. But...weren’t they kind of already doing that? They’d already blended their lives together nearly seamlessly. Bucky had been with him every step through the pregnancy, Steve had been there to support Bucky when he was down, and now....it felt almost right.

Almost. Because it wasn’t true. They wouldn’t _be_ together, they would just be pretending.

"You must feel exhausted, I'm gonna let you get some rest. Good night, Steve." Bucky made his exit, the warmed up dinner on the stove completely forgotten. For once, he would've been the one having problems to eat right now.

Before his mind could catch up to what had just happened Bucky was already leaving.”Bu — “ The door closed, and the apartment felt a lot colder. Bucky had never left him alone before like this. Never just walked away, especially after dropping such a bombshell. 

Steve shivered, pulling his blanket around himself and leaning over to rest a palm over Neila’s back as she slept. “We’ll be okay babygirl...I’ll...we’ll find a way.” He wanted nothing more than to text Bucky to come back. To lay it on down and confess to Bucky right then and there. But it felt wrong. Even if Bucky did feel the same way, was this the way he wanted to start a new relationship after the past one had been so toxic?

He knew that this was the only path, the only way he had even a remote chance of keeping his daughter. He’d have to accept, be at the mercy of being seen as an Omega under an Alpha again. Part of him resented that fact. Resented that Bucky was the person that had to save them over and over again.

Gritting his teeth, Steve hunkered down, too exhausted to even move to the bedroom. He’d have to get up and put up the food so it didn’t go to waste, go to the bedroom eventually, but for now he was going to allow himself to process before he ended up doing something stupid like marching over to Bucky and either yelling at him or kissing him.

Returning to his empty apartment Bucky fetched the last bottle of beer from the fridge and sat on the couch, not bothering to turn on the lights. Steve's scent was lingering on him together with a hint from Neila, and he tried to take short, shallow breaths as if they'd stay longer that way.

He's such an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last sentence is also a personal statement.   
> Would you belelieve me if I told you the slow burn is about to end? x'D


	20. Chapter 20

Of course, Steve agreed to his plan. Bucky liked to make it sound as if he had a choice, but it was obvious what Steve would do, anything to protect his daughter. She's barely a month old and he'd put his life on the line for her twice.

Bucky called their landlord again, asking him for his approval to sublease his flat. After all it's going to look suspicious if he claimed Steve as his Omega, but officially keep living in separate apartments. It's easy to find a tenant in New York, a docile beta, who's studying chemical engineering at a nearby university. Bucky was honest with him, telling the guy that he might move back at some point, but he'd give him a heads-up in time. 

The furniture stayed, so Bucky only had to transfer his more personal belongings to Steve. He had to sort out his clothes because Steve's wardrobe wasn't big to begin with, now having to fit the stuff of two and a half people.

They started to seriously scent each other. Sitting on the couch, burying his face in the crook of Steve's neck Bucky had to get up after a while to take a cold shower, shudders wrecking his body. It's torture, being so close, yet not allowed to act on his desires. Sometimes when it became too unbearable Bucky would crash on the couch instead of laying next to Steve in bed, unable to find any rest.

It should have been easy. But it wasn’t. It was anything but easy. Steve was hyperconscious of Bucky in a way he’d never been before. It wasn’t so bad during dinner or when they were working alternating shifts. Steve had just started back to work, able to do it while seated as long as he had his laptop and headset. It was easy enough to put himself into momentarily suspension when Neila fussed. He could focus on something besides the stress for once. 

At night though, all that ease went out the window. It wasn’t like sleeping together during Christmas. There was a mile wide gap between them that had nothing to do with physical proximity. Bucky was _right there_ but Steve was too afraid to touch. To reach out and curl against him like he wanted to. 

Scenting was the worst. When he had a head full of Bucky, smelling the rise in the Alpha’s pheromones. He knew it was arousing for Bucky, how could it not be? Steve was almost glad his body still wasn’t recovered from having Neila or else it would have been sheer torture. He knew he smelled of milk, of vulnerability, of distress, all things that would screw up an Alpha’s head. But they had to do it, to pull this off.

He just hoped their friendship survived it.

It's only a small relief when the day of the first hearing finally arrived. "It's gonna work." Bucky assured Steve quietly while carrying him down the flight of stairs.

Steve nodded absently, looking forlornly over his shoulder as Julio and Dan waved them off. It was his first time being away from Neila for more than a few minutes at a time, but there was no way in hell he was bringing her to the courthouse. He didn’t even want Gilmore to _see_ Neila. He didn’t deserve it. 

He was forced to endure most of the day in a wheelchair, since his energy levels were still low and there was too much walking around to bother. Before they got into the courthouse, Steve snagged Bucky’s wrist and shoved his head against it, smearing his face and hair against Bucky’s secondary scent glands. This time, it wasn’t even for show. 

The day was awful. Steve had hoped for a Beta judge, but of course an Alpha sat on the raised platform, looking down at the two parties with severe eyes. The lawyer that had taken Steve’s case was a fierce woman who was so layered in scent suppressors Steve had no idea what her designation was. Carter wasn’t a woman that backed down from Gilmore’s Alpha lawyer, a man with cool eyes and born from money so obviously it oozed from his pores. Steve could say he even liked Carter, especially when her tough demeanor softened around the edges and she whispered a bolstering "We can do this." before the hearing started.

Gilmore tried to paint Steve as someone ready to keel over at any moment (which at the moment felt dangerously close to the truth), a loose Omega, an Omega that had wanted for nothing while living with him. He tried to back out of the argument that he’d kicked Steve out, citing it as a ‘momentary lapse in judgement he’d tried to rectify’, which was a bold lie.

Having to sit there and have his lawyer say his truth, that Gilmore hadn’t allowed him to get his birth control, or that he’d coerced him into the sex that had led to Neila was humiliating. That he’d struggled supporting himself, supporting Neila’s growth while pregnant. They tried to gloss over the fact that Bucky had already been living with a woman at the time they’d met, but of course Gilmore’s lawyer honed in on that too. So now Steve got to be called a homewrecker in court, which was great. 

Shut up, don't say anything, became Bucky's mantra during their time in court. Steve's lawyer was there for a reason, representing her client and Bucky privately thought she did a damn fine job. Bucky felt his anger spike whenever Gilmore put Steve in a bad light, which happened every time he opened his stupid mouth, lying without an ounce of shame.

He wasn't allowed to flip the table into the jerk's face when the topic of how Neila had been conceived was brought up, so he merely pictured how it would feel to crush Gilmore's nose. Sneaking his arm around Steve's middle when he sensed his growing distress helped too and had the additional bonus of pissing Gilmore off.

Gilmore’s temper worked in their favor for once. Anytime Steve’s scent swung into distress he leaned against Bucky and breathed him in, and Gilmore would bubble a growl. The fight had to be brought up, but Steve was surprised that Bucky’s defense of him seemed to be held in a positive light. Obviously the Alpha with Steve’s ‘best intentions’ in mind would protect him, and the police officers at the time would be brought in for questioning at a later date. 

Nothing got decided, because the court system worked at a glacial pace, but when they were finally able to leave Steve felt more confident they could actually win this.

Naturally, Gilmore just couldn’t let it go.

Gilmore and his lawyer caught them in the doorway of the courthouse before they could leave. “We’re prepared to settle this outside of court, there’s no need to drag this out. We’d set up a _generous_ stipend for perceived damages. Enough to pay for medical costs.” The lawyer didn’t look at Steve, instead he addressed Bucky only.”We know Mr Rogers has difficulties conceiving, this way he could welp easier. Everyone gets what they want.” 

"You clearly don't get what I want. Neila doesn't have a price tag, you heartless son of a bitch!" Bucky spit literally in front of Gilmore's shiny shoes. His lawyer deserved the same treatment, but he was only doing his fucking job. Gilmore didn't have the same excuse. Fucker was doing it out of spite only.

Steve’s hand raised to clasp Bucky’s on the back of his wheelchair, upper lip peeling back from his petite fangs. “Kids aren’t property, and neither am I.”, he growled after Bucky, finally getting the lawyer’s eyes on him the first time. The look in the man’s eyes was nothing new. Like the man thought exactly that. It stoked the low-burning fire in him that said they were going to get through this because the only other option was unthinkable. There was no way in hell they were letting Gilmore get Neila.

"This is gonna be solved the proper way.", Bucky growled at them, making it very clear that he wasn't going to change his mind no matter how much money they threw at him to fix the 'damaged goods'. As if Steve wasn't more than an incubator for his sperm...the implication made Bucky unbelievably angry, and he started pushing Steve's wheelchair down the street to catch a cab before he could break his promise and beat the living shit out of Gilmore. They're wise enough not to follow.

Steve gripped his pants’ legs the entire ride home, replaying the things Gilmore and his lawyer had said during the hearing. He’d expected it all, he had, but it still stung to know the man he’d spent two years of his life with could turn on him so strongly. He’d known Gilmore to be ruthless, but this was a level of brutality that surprised even Steve.

Back at their apartment building Bucky dropped Steve off at Julio and Dan's place. "Why don't you stay with them for a bit?", Bucky suggested. "Need to blow off some steam at the gym, but I'm gonna pick you up for dinner, alright doll?"

It was only when Bucky was dropping him off at Julio and Dan’s did he blink out of his thoughts entirely. Stevelooked up at Bucky, and his heart clenched. He still had no idea how Bucky was still here. Fighting for them. Except he guessed he had _some_ idea but they were too astronomical to fathom right now. 

Steve swallowed, holding his hands under the blanket on his lap before he could do something stupid like reach up and smooth them through Bucky’s hair. He wanted to tug Bucky down to his level until he could scent him again, not just for comfort, but to mark him as well. He knew by now that he didn’t deserve Gilmore’s ire, but he wasn’t sure he deserved Bucky either in a whole different manner. But he wanted him, he wanted him with a ferocity that startled him.

But Steve stayed put and offered a wane smile. ”Go beat up a sandbag, I’ll be here.”, he kept himself from purring at the petname, but just barely. 

"Yeah, 'cuz this is gossip central.", Bucky teased back good-natured, leaning down to- 

Realizing the mistake he's about to make quickly straightened and walked down the stairs, his heart trampolining behind his rib cage. No reason to prove they're a couple when no one's around. No reason to kiss Steve goodbye.

Pretending not to notice he was cherry red when going into his friend’s apartment was an ordeal. For a moment, he’d almost thought Bucky was going to kiss him. They’d ‘kissed’ at the courthouse, but that had been for show. Not like the kiss they’d shared on New Years. But it had felt like…

For once, Steve was glad to be away from Bucky for a little while, if only because he needed to have a conversation with Julio and Dan from an ‘outsider’s’ opinion. His head was no good when it came to Bucky Barnes, but the couple had known Bucky longer than he had, so maybe he could get some insight.

Steve struggled through the visit, trying to tackle what Julio said was the obvious. They just didn’t _get_ it though. What would happen if this was just passing feelings. If either one of them had just caught feelings due to the situation or if it was real. If they tried and things didn’t work out, not only would they lose each other as best friends, but now there was the very real chance of losing so much more. Neila’s freedom hinged on Steve being someone’s fucking kept Omega and no matter how much it chaffed him raw, it was the world they lived in.

No matter what, he felt like he couldn’t move forward without breaking something.

Bucky made a serious attempt at punching the filling out of the sand sack, picturing Gilmore's face the whole time, but after half an hour his knuckles felt bruised despite the protection. At least he'd burned through a good portion of anger and agitation, feeling more relaxed than before. Taking a shower at the gym after his workout Bucky sent Steve a short message that he was on his way home and planned to pick up garlic bread rolls from their favorite Italian place as a treat. They deserved some garlic after today.

Paper bag in hand Bucky knocked at his neighbor's door to pick up Steve and let them help to bring Neila along. 

Despite Steve's misgivings, the night was exactly what he wanted and needed it to be. He scented Bucky thoroughly, trying to tell himself it was just for comfort and show, not because he loved the scent of Bucky on his skin after so long of not smelling Bucky at all.

The rest of the evening was rather relaxed and Bucky managed to scent Steve without growing hard for a change before they went to bed. Bucky was used to staying at his side, even his body seemed to get the message and didn't let him wake up plastered against Steve. 

Steve almost fell into bed that night, exhausted after the day and not paying near enough attention to applying the cocoa butter scar cream to his lower abdominal scar as he should have. In the grand scheme of things, what was a scar when compared to his body’s other problems?

Tonight was different because Bucky actively chose to reach out for Steve and lightly curl an arm around his middle, nose brushing over the back of his neck. Steve could easily shake him off if he didn't want the physical contact. "Good night..."

Nearly asleep as soon as he hit the pillow, Steve startled at the touch. It registered as Bucky a moment after, and he stilled, sinking into the hold with a tired purr. A hand drifted down to gently lay over Bucky’s, “Night, Buck.”, he replied, glad to be facing away from Bucky, less Bucky saw his besotted smile as he drifted off the sleep. 

—

Steve expected to be stuck in the litigation process for ages, so when his lawyer summoned them saying Gilmore’s lawyer had dragged up other points of contention they wanted addressed as the judge deliberated, his stomach dropped. 

“Character Witnesses?” He huffed, leaning against the kitchen counter as he shrugged a sweater over his shirt. “There’s no telling who GIimore is dragging into this Buck! I don’t want to have to ask our neighbors to counter this piece of shit, but Miss Carter thinks we might have to if Gilmore makes a solid case.”, Steve groaned, momentarily gripping the counter to center himself before pushing off to retrieve Neila and her diaper bag to take to Mrs Young, today’s babysitter of choice.

"I just hope it's not my art teacher. Drew some weird shit during her classes..." Bucky huffed with a crooked smile. Surely those images must be time-barred by now. Steve didn't seem to be in the mood for silly jokes.

"Hey, it's gonna be fine. I can't think of anyone who could tell the judge we're bad people and like you said, there are more than enough in our corner.", he tried to placate Steve, wanting to smooth the worry lines on his face with his fingertips.  
-  
The two police officers were the first ones to make a statement. They were pretty neutral, simply describing the situation in which they'd found both Alpha's and that Bucky had clearly been protective of his territory. The judge didn't seem to hold it against him, after all it was classic Alpha behavior.

Steve had expected the police officers from the briefing their lawyer gave. Frankly, despite their lackadaisical attitude at the time of the fight their testimony seemed in their favor. Steve hated being talked about like two dogs had been arguing over a piece of meat but if it helped Neila stay _home_ he was willing to play up the Omega in need of a ‘good’ Alpha image. There was no doubt to anyone that Bucky wasn’t invested in him, even if Gilmore’s lawyer was trying to make it sound seedy and malicious. 

It's the following witness that made Bucky pale visibly. How did Gilmore find her? Not even Bucky had her new address, to be honest he hadn't asked for it. After their messy break-up he hadn't attempted to contact Dot. There's no telling what she had to say about Bucky. 

Gilmore looked over at Steve the moment Dolores sat down, his eyes shining with delight. Steve clasped his hand with Bucky’s, gripping tight. There was no way Dot didn’t keep a grudge. God knows he might have. Steve had agonized over being the ‘homewrecker’ for months. Wondering if he’d been the cause for their break up. If Bucky would have been happy with her if Steve had never moved next door. If he hadn’t been so selfish with Bucky’s time. All the ‘what ifs’ buzzing around his brain until he was sick with it. 

Bucky didn't believe she's like Gilmore, trying to get revenge and dragging Steve into it, not when she knew what was at stake. At the same time he didn't want to underestimate Gilmore and his liking for solving problems with money and his status. If he knew someone at the theater who could get Dot on the big stage...

Bucky missed the introduction, too absorbed in his own thoughts. His brain wasn't helping, reminding him of all their fights, how he'd denied Dot the chance to reconcile. He’d simply cut her out of his life, burning all the bridges.

The way Gilmore's lawyer formulated his questions made it obvious that he wanted Dot to drag up dirt on them. Telling the judge that Steve had seduced him and that Bucky had cheated on her.

"Steve wasn't the reason we broke up, he's merely a catalyst. I don't believe they had an affair while Bucky and I were still together." Dot answered the questions calmly, not going fort he baits that were thrown her way.

"What makes you assume that?", Gilmore’s lawyer kept digging.

"We've been high-school sweethearts, Steve isn't the first Omega making eyes at James. He wanted to propose. His crush on Steve wouldn't have made him change his mind." Dot returned, sounding completely confident and refusing to take the bait.

"But it changed yours." he tried to twist her words. 

Every question the lawyer aimed at her was carefully crafted. Asking about his and Bucky’s ‘relationship’, digging to see if they’d snuck around (they had, but not like that!), or Dot’s thoughts on Steve. 

Except...Dot didn’t reply at all like Steve had feared. Every reply was as confident as the last, the same strong personality that had intimidated the hell out of Steve from their first meeting. Dot had always looked like a swan to him, perfectly elegant but able to hold her own. An Omega that any Alpha would trip all over themselves to earn the attention of but dismay when she turned them down. What was he next to her but a broken down pigeon?

"They have similar life goals. I just knew I couldn't give Bucky the family he wished for. Either way one of us would've ended up being unhappy. That's why I broke up with him. I'm glad to see he's found someone else to share his life with." 

Bucky was speechless...and a bit flustered. He could only see the back of Dot's head, her carefully braided hair, but he could hear the small smile resonating in her voice. She's genuinely happy for them instead of holding a grudge.

Steve had braved a scent-suppressing mist prescribed by his doctor that so far hadn’t aggravated his skin or lungs, but it only helped keep it dulled. The lemony burst of surprise still flared on him, melding with a strawberry blush at the mention of Bucky’s ‘crush’. What crush?

His eyes cut to Bucky briefly, noting that Bucky looked even more flabbergasted than he did. His grip loosened on Bucky’s hand, holding it in a gentle grasp as Gilmore’s lawyer hurriedly tried to salvage what was supposed to be their star witness. 

Maybe he’d been too unkind with his evaluation of Dot. Maybe they’d all just grown up a little after these trying months. Whatever the case, Steve felt like he owed someone an apology. 

After Dot's statement regarding Bucky's feelings for Steve he knew he had some explaining to do later. Apparently this was the opportunity he'd been waiting for or rather Dot had given him the push he needed. It's kinda funny, considering that back then Bucky hadn't been aware of his crush. Looking back at certain moments he couldn't deny that Dot was right and his feelings for Steve had only grown stronger after they broke up.

Carter had called Steve’s doctor to confirm that Bucky had gone with Steve to his appointments and been utterly supportive, versus the breakdown Steve had the first appointment due to Gilmore’s absence and the utter terror of being a single Omega. Not something Steve would have liked aired to everyone but he’d agreed they needed anything they could get to show how much of a heel Gilmore was. 

The rest of the testimonials weren't nearly as nerve-wracking and by the end of the ordeal Bucky was fairly certain they'd earned another point in their favor. They're on a good way to win this case! Now Bucky didn't want to celebrate too soon, but at least he didn't have to witness Steve holding his daughter and crying into his shoulder again, scent tinted with despair and heartbreak.

By the time the hearing came to a close it was into the early afternoon and Steve itched to move. He saw Dot stand, and chewed the inside of his lip.”I’m going to — I’ll be right back,”, he leaned down to press his lips to Bucky’s cheek, partially for show, but more because he really, really wanted to.

The sensation of Steve's lips brushing his cheek was grounding and still somewhat surreal. "Alright. I'm gonna wait outside." Bucky let Steve know, having wanted to talk with Dot as well. Steve could go first and if Dot hadn't any more time to spare he'd just text her. The least he could do was thank her for showing up today.

He still had to move carefully, but at least he wasn’t in the wheelchair anymore, even if he felt like an old man having to make sure he didn’t trip and fall. He made his way towards Dot out in the hall, fingers plucking nervously at his sleeves.”Hi, Dolores.” He smiled softly. ”Do you mind if we talk a moment?”

"Hello Steve. I was hoping we could.", Dot agreed with an openly friendly expression of her own, walking out of the courtroom to find a bench where they could settle down. "I'm sure you're both shocked to see me. Sorry for not giving you a heads up. It's a rather spontaneous decision..."

Face to face with Dot again made the familiar bundle of nerves return. He wasn’t even sure how to categorize his feelings towards Dolores. One part admiration, one part jealousy, one part hatred for making Bucky so low before. Except now he there was an added brick of overwhelming gratitude he had no idea what to do with. 

Immediately, Steve shook his head, “No, God, I am so sorry you got wrapped up in this, I had no idea Gilmore would be that ruthless to — “ He cut off, expression growing closed off as Gilmore and his lawyer swept by. Steve didn’t miss the way Gilmore’s eyes lingered on Dot, and he peeled his upper lip from his petite fangs unconsciously. 

"I can only imagine...", Dolores voiced carefully, once Gilmore and his plus one had passed. Steve's reaction to them spoke volumes.

As soon as they rounded the corner Steve blushed and looked at Dot. ”Jesus — sorry, this whole thing has just been hard.” He took a moment to center himself. ”Thank you though, I know you didn’t have to be so kind in there. I know I…”, he trailed a moment, trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to say. ”I’m sorry, for before. I never meant to get between you and Bucky, and I wanted to tell you, you were right, absolutely nothing happened between us when you were together. I swear on my mother’s good name, nothing happened.” Steve felt like Dolores already knew it anyway, but this was something he felt like needed to be said out loud. 

Part of him wanted to say nothing was what it seemed even now. He knew how it looked to outsiders. That he and Bucky had fallen into each other the moment Dot was out of the picture, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Sure they’d been there for each other emotionally, not _like that_ though. The lines were admittedly a little blurred. 

"It's not a one-sided decision, so I'm not blaming you and I believe you." She assured Steve, picking up on the guilt flashing in his pale eyes and scent. In the beginning when Bucky started befriending Steve, Dolores had been peeved because she couldn't fathom what Bucky saw in this runt. She hadn't made an effort to get to know their new neighbor, trying to keep him at arm's length. Maybe she'd made a mistake.

A little string that had been coiled around his heart snapped loose. ‘I believe you’. He knew that no one had technically done anything wrong, all three of them had circumstances that aligned in an odd way, but hearing Dot say that made Steve feel...lighter.

"At first I didn't want to get involved in my ex's business, but I didn't want to let an Alpha like Hodge ruin your family.", she admitted. They'd only spoken once on the phone, yet it had been enough to shove Gilmore into a drawer and label it with nasty slimeball.

"Bucky is a good mate.", Dot remarked, almost randomly. "I still feel bad for hurting his feelings and I know today won't make up for it, but it's a step in the right direction.", she added, getting back onto her feet and ready to leave.

The sudden declaration flushed Steve’s face scarlet. Bucky was a good mate, and they were only pretending. Sometimes...sometimes it didn’t feel like pretending though. It was too easy to be close to Bucky, leaning against his chest while Neila was cradled against Steve’s own. Nesting on the couch with dinner cooking in the oven and watching the news. Boring domestic shit that Steve would have never thought he could be satisfied with but — he was. He loved the little family he had, he just wished it wasn’t a lie.  


"My rehearsal is about to begin. Goodbye, Steve." Dot stated after a brief look at the clock on the wall, ticking away right next to them. Making her exit she sent one last smile in Steve’s direction, accompanied by a small wave.  


“I hope you two can be friends again. Bucky — Bucky would really like that.” Steve smiled after her, for once not feeling a sense of relief when she walked away. The idea of Dot and Bucky being friends, or at least speaking with each other again, didn’t fill him with the Omega jealousy he thought it would. There was no logic in it. Everyone was unmated, Dot could be a potential rival however it didn’t feel like a possibility. Steve wanted Bucky to talk to Dot for closure, and he trusted…  


Trusted?  


_Trusted_ , Bucky to come home.  


Steve swallowed hard. While his heart felt lighter his brain just felt all the more jumbled. There was too much to sort out standing in a hallway.  


"Call me when you want to meet up for a coffee and talk.“ Dot made sure to let Bucky know in passing, then lifting her hand to get the attention of a taxi driver.  


"Good talk?" Bucky merely asked Steve when he joined him, and they took the next available cab. Steve slipped into the car next to Bucky, leaning against his side with a pleased hum.

”Very good talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of an redemption arc? I wanted there to be more to Dot than just being another evil ex.


	21. Chapter 21

Despite the long day, Steve could say that he was hopeful. He’d seen Gilmore sweat today, a look that said Gilmore knew his goose was cooked. Gilmore might have the money, but that was all he had. For once, Steve was the rich one here, if he wanted to be Christmas Special about it. He had a home, a job, friends, a _best_ friend, and now a family. Steve knew for a fact Gilmore was a miserable asshole that wanted everyone to hurt the way he did, wanted to _control_ things like he was controlled. 

Steve kissed the top of Neila’s head as she fed, even if she was turning out to be a little piranha bent on gnawing off his nipples. Bucky busied himself in the kitchen as Steve gently rocked Neila, patting her back. Blessedly, she didn’t even spit up on him. Miracles happening left and right today.

Bucky knew he was procrastinating by offering to make dinner for them, leaving Steve to feed Neila and pick a movie for them to watch later. Would Steve let him get away with it if he didn't bring up the topic himself? Bucky's nerves were getting the better of him, the pepper note in his muted scent drastically increasing. 

It's time to grow a spine and some balls while he's at it.

He had never been shy to confess his feelings in the past, yet he'd never been in love with his best friend, which made everything a little more complicated. Lowering the heat of the stove to a minimum Bucky rounded the couch, unable to sit down. Not fidgeting around was hard enough already. 

"Dot is a great actor, but I'm not-" Alright, maybe talking about his ex wasn't the best way to go about this.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm not just pretending or well I am, but not in the way you think?" Bucky failed to make sense of his own words. Steve looked at him like he's worried he’s going to swallow his tongue, which was entirely possible and would be a merciful death at this point in his monologue.

Steve had just set Neila down in her portable crib and worked off his nursing bra to chuck it next to the couch, having long gotten over being self-conscious about his chest, even after Christmas. Bucky had seen him at his literal worst both physically and mentally and was still around, so he figured he didn’t have much to be embarrassed about.

Like usual, Bucky being a nervous wreck was confusing as all hell. Steve blinked, trying to parse out what Bucky was getting at in the beginning.

"I'm in love with you.“, Bucky confessed, using simple words and getting straight to the point before he could chicken out again. "I've been in love with you for while now..." It had taken a trip to his family and his sisters intervention before Bucky was able to accept the truth instead of keep living in denial. 

_"I'm in love with you"_ , the words took the air momentarily out of Steve's lungs. Had he just — but Bucky said it again, and kept talking, and — 

"And I didn't say anything 'cause I thought you needed a best friend more than another mate. I didn't want to make you feel like you owed me anything. If you don't have romantic feelings for me...that's fine. I mean it'd suck," Bucky admitted, mouth twisting into a pained smile. "But I wouldn't abandon you or Neila." 

The last thing he wanted was for Steve to be guilt-tripped into a relationship. Bucky knew without any doubt that Steve would make every sacrifice necessary to ensure his daughter's well-being.

"I just want to be honest with you, because lying to you and myself really drives me crazy."

“I’m an idiot,” Steve fumbled for his inhaler out of his pocket and sucked down a deep lungful. As soon as the shock wore off his lungs, he laughed.”You’re an idiot...we’re idiots.”, he grinned, dropping the inhaler onto the coffee table before he could lose it. 

Bucky's eyes widened with concern when Steve had to reach for inhaler. That's not the kind of reaction he'd been aiming for, but then he'd started laughing, which in turn made Bucky smile giddily. It wasn't a hysterical laughter, good sign, right?

“Buck…” Steve stretched until he could snag Bucky’s hand and tug him to sit down,”I thought that...maybe it was just hormones at first? You were just so nice to me and so _good_ I thought that, that...I didn’t want to trap you into anything if it was just instincts, you know?”

More than willingly following Steve's wordless request Bucky sat down, not wasting the opportunity to get right into Steve's personal space. "Yeah, I know...we're idiots." He wholeheartedly agreed with Steve's previous statement. They'd both questioned their feelings for good reasons, they'd just missed the point of talking about them.

God now Steve was rambling and he hadn’t even said the good parts yet. ”I love you too. I have...probably longer than I want to admit.” It seemed ridiculous to him now that they had thought otherwise about each other. Steve had wanted Bucky to be Neila’s godparent, name her...of course he loved him, more than he could ever say. And Steve didn’t want to think about all the signs he’d missed with Bucky.

Bucky was pretty sure his scent exploded with happiness at those three- four words coming from Steve. His suppressants clearly hadn't been prescribed with a love confession in mind. A cloud of warm summer rain slowly filled the living room, mixing and matching with Steve's dandelions in full bloom. 

“...we’re fucking idiots.” Steve finished with a quiet laugh.

Unable to keep his hands to himself for another second Bucky cupped Steve's cheeks, thumbs stroking over the prominent bones down to the soft spot beneath his ears. "I'm done being an idiot and don't want to come up with any more stupid excuses to kiss you.", Bucky declared with a grin, referring to the New Year's Eve 'incident'.

It was a good thing that babies like being surrounded by their parent’s scent, because Steve was pretty sure anyone else would have wheezed and ran for the hills with Bucky and his scenting combining. And _oh_ Bucky smelled so good. Steve had been overjoyed when he’d started smelling Bucky on the weaker suppressants, but this? This was heaven. 

“‘M pretty sure I was the one that dared us,” Steve replied with a ‘innocent’ grin, pupils already a little blown just by the rush of their melding scents and joy. It wasn’t an arousal response, but a bone-deep Omega instinct that said he had everything he needed right there in the room. An Alpha that loved him, and their baby. It didn’t mean a damn thing that Gilmore provided half her genes, Bucky was her father in all ways that counted.

"You're such a punk.", Bucky groused at Steve with an exasperated roll of his eyes. Leave it to Steve to argue over irrelevant details when their mouths could be otherwise occupied. If Bucky was doing this right Steve was going to forget his name and address.

Tilting his head Bucky pressed their lips together in a sweet, overly affectionate kiss, only feeling slightly embarrassed about the content rumble in the back of his throat. Definitely not enough to interrupt the kiss. The only reason he eventually made their lips part was to bury his nose into the crook of Steve's neck, inhaling and lightly scraping his teeth over the sensitive scent gland there. _Mine_ , the animalistic part of his brain sparked with pleasure.

Kissing Bucky was a bit like coming home, and Steve knew how corny that was. He’d felt it on New Years,denied it, and suffered for it. But there was no more denial now. Just the sweet slide of their lips and Bucky’s Alpha-rumble turning his spine to jelly. What was he supposed to do with that? After so long of Bucky’s scent being squashed and him barely ever letting things like this go? And maybe Bucky had done it for his sake with his track record of Alphas, but god Steve had wanted to hear this. His Bucky, his Alpha. 

“O-oh,” Steve’s breath hitched as Bucky’s teeth barely touched on his scent glands, but it was enough to have his Omegahood singing with possibility. His scent threaded with caramel and cinnamon, a scent most everyone on the floor had gotten acquainted with when he was going through his pregnancy arousal spells, though this time it wasn’t quite so saccharine.

“Buck, scent mark me.” He urged, wanting Bucky to nuzzle and lick at him like they normally did except this time they wouldn’t have to break apart. They wouldn’t have to hide what it did to each other. And yeah, he probably should cool his jets because he was still aching and medically frail but his six weeks were up so it should be fine, right?

Lightly sucking at the damp patch of skin Bucky uttered a strangled growl at Steve's sudden request. The words set fire to his blood, heat spreading through every cell of his body. 

Those times when he scent-marked Steve before Bucky had done the bare minimum, not allowing himself to get carried away because it was a 'task' he wasn't supposed to enjoy. Their fake relationship depended on it, but now Steve wanted him for real and Bucky wanted nothing more than to cover him from head to toe with his scent. Pupils pitch black and dilated Bucky rubbed his face all over Steve's bared shoulders, hands roaming over his sides, making sure to drag his wrists over every inch of exposed skin. Steve already being topless was a blessing, yet their positions weren't ideal for what Bucky had in mind.

_Ohgodohgodohgod,_ Steve had vastly underestimated how hot this was going to be. He'd been scent marked 'properly' before sure, but not like this. Not by someone he knew adored him. Loved him. Cared for him past him just being an Omega. 

Bucky's scent being compatible with his was a pleasure all it's own but it didn't hold a candle to melding properly. Every drag of Bucky's wrists or his nuzzling burst another flood of _Alpha_ against his skin and it was all he could do to keep still. 

A flutter of nerves always kicked up when Bucky got close to touching or looked at the scar on his shoulder too long. Two solitary bite scars, one on his right shoulder, and the other on his left thigh, marks leftover from Gilmore. Ones that he'd always carry. Steve couldn't help but feel a bit of trepidation with Bucky touching him a new way but the thread of tangy citrus smoothed the moment Bucky continued lavishing him with attention. Bucky knew him, knew about the scars, of course his feelings wouldn't choose now of all times to change. 

A few gentle pushes later Bucky had rearranged Steve to lay down on his back, kneeling between his thighs and continuing to mark him up. Not just with his scent, but teeth as well, leaving a trail of his hickeys. That's until he reached Steve's chest, nostrils flaring at the distinct smell of milk. Drool was pooling in his mouth and Bucky was quick to spread it over Steve's nipples with broad swipes of his tongue.

Steve bit his lower lip as his back hit the couch, unconsciously craning his small body to meet more of Bucky's mouth. 

"Sh — !" Steve clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from crying out as a warm, wet tongue dragged over a puffy, sore nipple. Just because he was horny didn't mean he was about to wake Neila up after she'd just been put down.

By all rights, Steve should push Bucky away but every pass of Bucky's tongue had him writhing. It felt so impossibly good. Soothing, hot, tingly pleasure perking each bud up, dribbling little beads of milk to the tips.

"Buck-" He tried to convey how good it was in the quiet whisper. His hands raised to tangle in Bucky's hair, nudging his own scent all over whatever skin was in reach. 

"Mmh." Bucky hummed in approval, greedily licking up his reward, something he'd fantasized about the first time he'd seen Steve without his nursing bra on, chest visibly swollen. He made sure to only use his soft, slick tongue, keeping his teeth away.

Fuck it was a damn good thing Steve had used his inhaler recently or else this would have locked them right up. Every little kitten lick against his nipples sent red hot fire south. It was a small blessing his hormones were evening out still or else he knew he would have soaked the seat of his pants in slick by now. Even still, his dick strained against the confines of his leggings, the plumped outline bulging the navy fabric.

Taking his time Bucky's mouth eventually wandered lower, mouthing at the outlines of Steve's ribs then brushed his lips lovingly over the pink c-section scar. Steve needed to know that Bucky loved every part of him, even those ugly marks Gilmore left on him and the precise cut of the scalpel.

"I love you, Stevie." Bucky murmured huskily, feeling drunk on their combined hormones pouring out of every pore. He wasn't gonna grow tired of saying it, not caring if he ended up sounding like a broken record. 

Steve's breath fluttered, clenching his eyes closed while Bucky had to go and be a big sap. How was he not supposed to get all choked up when Bucky went kissing his scar like that? It was healed, save for the pink smile between his navel and groin, so stark against his pale skin. 

Slowly crawling back up Steve’s body Bucky caught his lips in another more heated kiss, keeping his body suspended mere inches above Steve's. As much as he wanted to grind his hips down Steve was still recovering from a heavy surgery, had only started to climb the stairs on his own again and Bucky didn't want to accidentally hurt him. Bucky's cock didn't seem to get the message, fattened up and painfully hard in the confinement of his pants.

An embarrassing noise that sounded close to a whine warbled from Steve's throat as Bucky's touch left him, but it was soon swallowed with the kiss. 

"Love you too, I've wanted you, wanted this…", he panted against Bucky's lips and surged up to wrap his arms around Bucky's shoulders, mouthing at Bucky's scent glands. 

"Please, don't stop now." He urged, not at all as concerned about his recovery as Bucky was. As much as he was loathed to admit it, his stamina with sex had always far exceeded his stamina with anything else. His gynecologist said it was natural for an Omega, even a runt like Steve. Back then he'd hated the implications, but for now he'd take a win where he could. 

"Alright, alright...just gotta be careful." Bucky reminded Steve, who didn't seem to realize that Bucky's weight could easily turn him into a pancake and not the delicious kind. Groaning when Steve went to town on his glands, Bucky kept himself balanced on one arm, using his other hand to dip the fingers beneath the waistband of Steve's leggings and underwear. 

Quickly finding what he's looking for Bucky wrapped his hand around Steve's erection, stroking and pumping it. Of course, he made sure to use his wrist to scent-mark Steve down there as well, uttering a satisfied, low purr. 

Steve was about to tell him to stick being careful where the sun don’t shine (literally) but was neatly placated by a traveling hand. He groaned, still careful not to be too loud. It had been a long time since anything but his own hand had touched him like this, and Bucky spreading his scent all over his dick fuzzed out Steve’s brain into static.

He licked an open-mouth kiss against Bucky’s glands, sucking little hickies into the tender flesh. Bucky’s scent was everywhere, in his nose, on his clothing, his skin, Steve was drowning finally after so long. Couldn’t get enough. His hindbrain just kept screaming more.

"When you're doing better again, I'm gonna mark everything, you hear me Steve? I want to know the way you taste...all of you." Bucky whispered into the shell of Steve's ear, a promise laced with lust. 

"I want everyone to know that you're mine." For once Bucky didn't feel ashamed of his Alpha-side speaking up. Steve clearly wanted to be claimed by him, and he's fucking done with denying each other what they craved.

More than the hand on his aching cock, it was Bucky rumbling delicious ‘threats’ in his ear that had him keening. Bucky wanted to mark him for all to see, not keep him secret. Bucky wasn’t ashamed of him, ashamed of a runt of a mate.

“F-fuck, Bucky...I want it.” The position was infuriating but so so good. He wanted to touch and lick as much as Bucky did but Bucky was being so…Alpha! It was messing with his resolve to butt against Bucky’s assertion that they should be careful. 

Cradling Steve's balls in his hand Bucky used his knuckles to press into his prostate from the outside. There's only a faint trace of slick in the air, a sign that Steve's body wasn't ready yet. That's fine, Bucky could wait and in the meantime they could do lots of other wonderful things.

“Be so good for you,” Steve rolled his hips into Bucky’s touch, lower stomach pulling from disuse but nowhere near uncomfortable enough to stop. Bucky’s hand traveled down, and Steve had to swallow a hiccuped moan as he hitched his legs wide.

"You already are, sweetheart." Bucky assured him with another deep rumble floating past his lips. Nibbling on Steve's earlobe Bucky intently listened to the few sentences Steve managed to string together in between breathy moans. Oh, he'd love that. Steve's tiny fangs puncturing his skin. The drag of nails left a faint burning sensation, causing his cock to twitch and stain the inside of his briefs.

“S-swear to God...Buck please. Wanna touch you too. Mark you.” He squirmed, blunted nails raking down Bucky’s arms just hard enough to be known. An idea sparked in his head, and he purred,”Put me on your lap...please Alpha.” So maybe it was playing dirty but Bucky wasn’t being fair either and Steve wanted.

_Alpha_

Bucky didn't know why such an overused term could still have such an impact on him. Steve had used it countless times before too, mostly to rage about certain individuals. The way Steve voiced it now...he might've as well wrapped his lips around Bucky's dick, because the effect was the same. There was no resisting Steve's plea.

Bucky swiftly sat up, pulling Steve along and onto his lap, hands on his ass. "Say it...again.", he prompted with a flash of fangs, pushing his crotch up to hump against Steve's thighs and ass, firmly kneading both cheeks with his fingers.

Bucky sat them up so fast his head spun. He’d underestimated just how much Bucky would like it apparently. The fire flared hotter in his core, pleased beyond measure that he’d done something to get this kind of reaction out of Bucky. A man, an _Alpha_ that usually went out of his way not to let his designation control him. Steve had gotten him to be this hot, growly, needy Alpha and it was dizzying to know he had as much power here as Bucky did. This was something he’d never felt before. This wasn’t a fight, a struggle. Just pleasure.

Steve shuddered hard, arching his back to push his ass out against Bucky’s touch. It made his chest rub against Bucky’s, but even the drag of cloth against his oversensitive nipples were little shocks that lit up his insides. He was going to leak all over Bucky, but at this point, he thought his Alpha might like that. 

The hard, throbbing head pushing up against him momentarily distracted him from all else, even the hands on his ass. All he could think about was Bucky’s cock, what it would feel like inside him, Bucky’s knot locking him in place. He’d always hated being knotted mentally, even if physically his body ached for it, it had never been pleasant. It just made him feel used, like a sex toy. But with Bucky? Steve thought Bucky would pet him, kiss him, and soothe him through it the way an Alpha was supposed to. 

Ducking his head Bucky went for Steve's throat, forcing him to tilt his head back to give him more space. He didn't bite down on the vulnerable skin, merely letting Steve feel the pressure of his teeth and his hot breath.

Abruptly, all conscious thought exploded into a burst of static. Steve keened, eyes rolling up towards the ceiling. The moment Bucky’s teeth locked him into place, his cock dribbled so much precome it looked like he’d come. The scent of his slow slick deepened, hole twitching as the frustration of not being able to take Bucky like he wanted to flared hot. 

_“Alpha.”_ Steve rolled his hips, rocking his ass down against Bucky’s covered cock. “Want to feel you too...mark me there, want your scent everywhere.”, he reached between them, desperate to get Bucky’s cock out against his but not wanting to move enough to break Bucky’s hold against him. 

Inhaling sharply at the scent of Steve's precum Bucky's jaw clamped down a bit harder, red imprints of his teeth appearing on pale skin.

"My perfect Omega...", Bucky crooned in return. "So eager for my knot inside you. ’M gonna fill you up, make your stomach swell again, just for me. Would you like that Steve? Must feel so empty in there...", he murmured sympathetically, rolling down the fabric of Steve's leggings and briefs, beneath the curve of his ass.

Steve’s body practically spasmed in Bucky’s hold. He’d sworn after his ex’s trauma he’d never crave the sensation of being bitten and bonded, yet with Bucky’s teeth baring down on him, so damn close, he wanted it so bad he ached and it wasn’t even his heat. Was this what sex was like between an Alpha and Omega in love?

No wonder Julio and Dan had multiple kids.

“Yes, fuck.” Steve knew he got mouthy when he was properly bedded from experience. People tended to think all doe-eyed Omegas were little cherubs of sexual innocence, but Steve hadn’t gotten knocked up by praying, that was for damn sure. “Want to be locked on you all day. T-til I can’t hold anymore.” The air kissing his slick-damp entrance pulled another low groan from him, pushing his ass back a little harder against Bucky’s hand.

Feeling Steve's hands fumble around, probably trying to locate the seam of his baggy sweats, Bucky had to release his throat and push him back a bit, one hand preventing him from toppling backwards. This way he could also catch a glimpse of Steve's erection, dark pink and glistening with his fluids. It looked delicious, Bucky wanted to swallow him whole, unconsciously voicing his thoughts.

His own prick kept distracting him and Bucky did his best to push down his own pants, pulling out his cock through the slit of his bulging black briefs. Now this was a size difference to behold. The mere sight of their dicks next to each other made Bucky groan with excitement. He reached out, taking a hold of Steve's slim wrist and encouraged him to wrap his fingers around Bucky's girth. "Touch me, darling."

Only Bucky’s touch kept Steve from falling over, too determined to get to Bucky’s dick to be bothered by things like gravity. Then the scent hit him. Pure Alpha arousal, except better smelling than any other Alpha he slept with by miles. There was no way he’d be able to survive a heat with Bucky in rut, it’d be too good. He’d actually die.

Bucky’s prompting stuttered his mind back into some semblance of order, slogging through the fog of his arousal to obey. His hand wrapped against Bucky’s thick length, eyes hooding. Bucky was big enough Steve was faintly concerned with how big his knot would be, but with that fear came a hot burning want that he nearly tried to convince Bucky to throw caution to the wind. He had to behave until his body was producing enough slick to even be able to handle it. Fuck. 

"You're such a filthy little thing...", Bucky purred fondly, loving when Steve talked without any filter. He was aware that Steve wasn't an easily flustered virgin and there's no need to pretend. Bucky didn't believe in the 'concept' of second-hand Omegas.

"Aw look at that...you can barely get a proper grip on it, baby doll." Bucky teased him with a sultry smile, easily curling his own fingers around Steve's throbbing prick. His hands weren't as soft as Steve's, showing stress marks from his daily work at the garage. The rough pad of his thumb rubbed over Steve's tip, coaxing out another bed of precum. 

Steve had to remember to hit Bucky later for the ‘baby doll’ comment when Bucky calling him petnames wasn’t so hot. At the moment, Bucky’s lust-filled voice was hitting all the right notes in Steve’s brain, however traitorous.

Steve's head tipped back, rubbing his petite Omega cock against Bucky’s, shivering as his tip briefly caught against the soft velvety skin at the base of Bucky’s cock that would expand with his knot. 

“Oh...Buck.” He sighed, a note of awe leaking into his voice.

"You gonna cum on my lap like this, Stevie?" Bucky asked conversationally, lowering his head to suck at Steve's nipple, licking over the bud to ease the sting. He hadn't gotten a taste of Steve's cum or slick yet, but he didn't think he could pick a favorite between all three. Everything, Bucky wanted all of them mixing together in his mouth.

Steve's hand departed from Bucky’s dick just long enough to lick a lewd strip up his palm before diving back down. He knew how sensitive an Alpha’s cock was near the base and he wasn’t going to be rough until he knew what Bucky liked.

Emboldened, Steve stroked Bucky from root to tip, growling at the sheer girth and size of it in his hand. It was so much better than when he’d spied Bucky’s clothed erection during Bucky’s rut. Better than he’d imagined. Maybe that was his pheremone-stupid brain right now but after so long of going without his body was even more behind this than his head was. 

Bucky's hips briefly jerked upwards when Steve's now damp palm rubbed across his cock, toes curling whenever he got close to the base. It's every Alpha's weak spot and Bucky wasn't any different.

The hand that's still supporting Steve's backside lazily started to explore the crack of Steve's ass, fingers tracing the path down to his wet, heated hole. "Hmm...I'm looking forward to you dripping all over my cock. Gonna make it so easy for me to push in." It didn't matter that Steve was barely more than half his size, they'd make it fit.

“Going to — ahh, fuck, going to mark you up too,” Steve was going to lay his scent so thick on Bucky everyone at Bucky’s work would know what he’d gotten up to. Everyone on the bus, the street, hell the apartment. Omegas could be as possessive and territorial as any Alpha, people just didn’t want to admit it. So what if he wanted to claw Bucky up and down until everyone knew Bucky was for looking only? He wanted the same, even if Steve felt himself capable of handling himself, that wasn’t the point of it. 

His free hand snapped up to tug at Bucky’s hair, huffed, growled purrs vibrating his throat like a basal hum.”You want it...t-too. Have me on you. My milk. My slick. My — “ Steve cut off as his body squirmed a hard jolt of pleasure striking lighting. The combination of Bucky’s fingers and mouth was too good and it had been too long. He’d known he’d wanted Bucky’s mouth on his chest the moment they’d woken up Christmas morning in the most awkward position ever, but this? Heaven.

"Wouldn't want it any other way." Bucky growled happily, relishing in the thought of his back and ass being covered by scratches. Sure, he didn't bruise as easily as Steve, but there's no doubt Steve could pull it off if he really wanted to. What he lacked in strength he made up with sheer determination.

“Alpha — going to, oh god. Don’t stop.” Steve whimpered, torn between sliding his cock against Bucky’s calloused hand or trying to fuck himself back on his fingers. His fist sped up on Bucky’s dick, slender hand twisting against the rock-hard shaft before sliding down and squeezing rhythmically against the base.

"Yess...bet you taste just as amazing as you smell." Bucky whispered, circling Steve's hole with one finger while simultaneously latching onto his other nipple. Behind closed lids Bucky went cross-eyed when Steve focused on squeezing his deflated knot. Fuck, how could it feel so good even in its current state?

In the end, it was another gush of milk pulled from Steve's chest that had him biting his lip to stifle his voice as he spilled against Bucky’s hand. Semi-clear come somewhere between slick and virile ejaculate pulsed liberally from his cock, making him whine low everytime Bucky managed to coax a little more out of him with his touch.

Milk dribbled down Bucky's chin when Steve reached his climax. Bucky wasn't far behind, thick ropes of cum splattering on both of their crotches and hands while he tried to stifle his moans against Steve's chest. The whole room reeked of sex, scent probably traveling and spreading through the rest of the apartment as well. 

Letting out a blissful sigh, Bucky licked his lips, giving Steve's softening prick another tug before pulling his hand back, taking a hold of Steve's hip instead. He lifted his head to assure himself that Steve looked just as brain-dead from the orgasm as he felt, placing another kiss on his mates parted lips.

"Best confession ever...", he declared with a small chuckle, rubbing their cheeks together.

It was a true testament to how far Steve's body had come that he didn't feel like his heart was going to explode out of his chest or his lungs would pop. His stomach was sore, and he was dizzy from the pleasure, but he felt good. 

He aimed for,"You're an idiot and I love you," but it came out as a slurred ,"Mmmph," against Bucky's shoulder.

"Gonna take that as 'yes, absolutely, Buck'." Bucky huffed with a grin regarding Steve's nonsense reply. He felt utterly relaxed while Steve seemed mostly exhausted. They probably should've waited a bit longer before getting physical, but it happened and Bucky had zero regrets on his behalf. In fact, it had been looong overdue.

Steve fumbled for Bucky's messy hand, smearing their come together between their palms and fingers until their scent bloomed between them. It was primal, possessive, and Steve didn't give a damn about what a proper Omega should do so. Leaning up, he thumbed against Bucky's lips, transferring their slick until Bucky's lips shined. Satisfied, Steve leaned in to kiss, pausing only to kitten lick Bucky's lips before leaning fully into the kiss. 

The couch was going to need to be soaked in scent neutralizer before company could set foot in the place, and they needed to crack a window, but for now he wanted to enjoy the combination of their scents. The scent of home and safe. 

Steve apparently wasn't done yet, making sure to rub their fluids together and all over them. It was a very feral thing to do, but Bucky didn't frown upon Steve smearing slick and cum over his lips. The gesture was intimate and...really hot. Meeting Steve halfway they shared another messy kiss, Bucky's tongue briefly sneaking into Steve's mouth, uttering a soft moan. Alright, he shouldn't get too enthusiastic here. Luckily Steve's stomach saved them from the awakening of Bucky's dick part two.

Steve's stomach rumbled after a few minutes of basking, "Mmm...be a good Alpha and go provide." He teased, nipping at Bucky's jawline with a playful smile.

"That's very stereotyping of you." Bucky grumbled in mock-complaint. Slowly disentangling their limbs Bucky pulled up his pants, pretending he'd some modesty left. 

" 'kay, I'm gonna go hunt down a gazelle or something." Bucky uttered with a snort, heading for the bathroom first to clean up, then to the bedroom for a change of clothes before returning dutifully to the stove. Sauce wasn't overcooked, and he hadn't started on the pasta yet. Within ten minutes the food was ready and Steve had done a remarkable job at cleaning up with baby wipes. 

They spent the night tightly curled around each other, only having to get up once when Neila started crying, needing a fresh diaper. Bucky was finally living his dream and he couldn't help his cheerful mood the next morning, leaving Steve with a pancake breakfast and a goodbye kiss or three. 

His friends at work quickly picked up on the increased intensity of Steve's smell on him, cracking jokes about Bucky no longer suffering from calcium deficit and how Steve's milkshake brought a certain Alpha to his yard. "Yeah, hilarious, fuck you, Gabe!" Bucky cussed back, unable to suppress a grin. He could tell that they're happy for him, they just had a questionable way of showing it.

If anyone asked, Steve was pretty sure he was dreaming. Only his body’s constant grumbling, lingering court stress, and sexual frustration kept him grounded in reality. He worked while Bucky worked, taking care of Neila when she fussed, getting up early to do his exercises the doctor recommended. 

The check-up went well, both for Neila and for himself. Neila still had fussy lungs but nothing that the doctor was concerned about. Steve healed, Neila grew, and winter was giving way to spring.

Over the following weeks Steve turned into a bit of a horny Gremlin. Bucky couldn't trust him with the candy supply or his dick. Why Omegas didn't fall into some sort of sexual coma for a while after giving birth was a mystery to him. Steve's body wasn't ready for any strenuous activities and Bucky wanted to save their first 'first time' for Steve's heat. 

They'd also discussed the possibility of bonding then. It should feel rushed because with Dot he'd waited for years and wouldn't have put his mark on her before their engagement. Yet Bucky was certain, 200% at least, that he wanted Steve to be his mate for the rest of his life. They already had a family and did all the steps backwards, so why wait any longer?

According to Julio Steve was getting peevish, but everyone knew why. The first heat after a pregnancy was supposed to be bad, and Julio kept making these pitying faces at him that weren’t helping. The neighbors had been overjoyed of course, that they’d “Finally got their heads out of their asses” according to Mrs Young. They had to get a new door and curtains to scent-block the apartment, but otherwise people had been accommodating. More than Steve had ever expected.

Of course the next court date had to be soon, and while Bucky was still stupidly ‘considerate’ about his body’s glacial healing process at least they still stunk of each other. More than was appropriate, but they were making up for lost time here. 

This time, they had back up, whether they wanted it or not apparently. While Amanda in apartment 3-A babysat Neila, Julio and Dan flanked them, and a few of Bucky’s friends from the garage as well, not to mention their unflappable lawyer. It felt almost pack-like, which was doing nothing to keep Steve’s hindbrain calm.

He might have smeared himself all over Bucky before they’d left home but he’d managed to keep his growling to a minimum on the way there. Mostly. The cab driver could get over it, he was stressed and chock-full of new-father hormones, which were arguably worse than pregnancy ones. 

Bucky felt calmed by the presence of their friends, while Steve acted like a cat on his way to the vet. He made sure to give the driver a slightly bigger tip for the discomfort that his mate's noises and scent caused him. 

“We’ve got this...right?” Steve murmured to Bucky as they waited for their case to be brought up to the judge, lingering in the hallway. Blessedly Gilmore hadn’t shown up yet, letting Steve tuck himself under Bucky’s arm and stuff his head close to breathe his mate in instead of the courthouse air, heavy with astringent cleaners.

"Yes, I'm sure the judge is on our side. Our witnesses are much more convincing and we've brought some more in case there are any doubts." Bucky reminded Steve with an encouraging smile, curling his arm around his mate to hold him close.

When they're called inside, Gilmore was still nowhere to be seen.

Being in the courthouse flanked by friends while looking over at an increasingly frustrated lawyer angrily typing at his phone was a bit of a revelation. The prior two sessions had been a closed court, but this one wasn’t. No one was over there waiting on Gilmore, no one to see this out. Just a high-paid jackass of a lawyer that slammed his phone down and scurried towards the judge. 

The judge wasn't pleased considering his facial expression. Damn, had Gilmore came up with some kind of trick they hadn't prepared for?

They're told to take a seat and then...the judge declared the case closed, since the prosecutor wasn't present and gave up his claim on the child. Bucky was speechless. Gilmore had chickened out like the spineless worm he was, after realizing he couldn't find any skeletons in the closet. Steve's health hadn't been enough of an issue, since he had Bucky as backup and second parent.

The moment the judge’s brows pulled peevishly to the center of his head, Steve knew something had radically shifted. He was glad he was seated, or else he’d have fallen over.

“Oh fuck.”, he breathed, making his lawyer snort momentarily. Gilmore had folded when the stakes tipped in their favor. The coward hadn’t wanted to show up just to lose. 

As the judge discussed the ending notes with his lawyer, Steve pressed his hands over his mouth and let his eyes drift shut. He could hear the excited voices of their friends behind them, Bucky squirming in his chair, but for those brief moments everything fell away. For once, he’d come out on top. There would always be a part of him waiting for the other shoe to drop, but for now, he could honestly say he was happy where he was. His daughter was safe, he had a mate that he wanted to bond with all his heart, and he had friends.

"We won!" Bucky exhaled audibly upon stepping out of the courtroom again, squeezing Steve's hand, who looked just as shell-shocked as he did. "He can't take Neila away anymore, Steve." Overwhelmed with joy Bucky pulled his mate into a kiss, lips barely able to connect properly because he couldn't stop smiling. 

Bucky pulling him into a kiss outside of the courtroom snapped him from his dazed state, and his smile bloomed bright and unfettered. One little kiss wasn’t enough, not when he felt like he was going to explode from the swell of emotions within. 

“Buck!” Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and shoulders and jumped into his arms, clinging his body close with an explosive giggle.”I can’t believe it!” His heels were probably digging against Bucky’s lower back from being wound so tight around him but he couldn’t help himself. Even if the peanut gallery behind them jeered and clapped.

He pulled Bucky in for a deeper kiss, his scent an overwhelming burst of daffodils and sun warmed cotton.

"Yeah, I can't believe you're jumping me in front of everyone either. Have some decency, Rogers." Bucky commented in between bursts of laughter, despite holding firmly onto Steve's thighs and returning the kiss with abandon. 

"We should celebrate at our place!" Bucky suggested upon coming up for air, holding Steve's face in both hands. "What do you think, doll?"

Leaning up enough to rest their foreheads together, Steve murmured,”Let’s go home. Let’s go home to our daughter, make a stupid amount of food, let our friends fuss. Let’s go celebrate.”, he purred loud enough to vibrate his entire little body.

"Hell yes to all of that!" Bucky agreed, heart warming at the mention of their home and daughter. Briefly informing their friends about their plans and inviting them over Bucky didn't bother to let Steve back down. He carried his mate out of the court's hallway, down the stairs of the building like they're a freshly wedded couple.

Steve could complain and growl all he wanted Bucky only loosened his grip when they had to get into the cab. "If you're still awake when everyone's gone I'm gonna do that thing with my mouth you like so much." Bucky purred promisingly into Steve's ear. Probably not the best idea to rile each other up while sitting in an enclosed, small space…

Bucky sent Steve ahead to pick up Neila while he went into the next corner store to buy drinks and some snacks. Unloading everything on the living room table he set up everything for his one-pot dish on the stove, guests already starting to arrive and wanting to chink glasses.

The whole apartment was bustling with life, there's barely a spot that wasn't occupied and Bucky handed out mismatched bowls and plates filled with curry and rice. He tried to talk with everyone, thank them for their help and congratulations on officially being Neila's parent now.

Weaving through the gathered crowd (it felt like all the friendly neighbors stopped by for at least a little while to offer their congratulations, word traveled so fast), Steve toured Neila. She burbled contentedly, briefly snagging a few strands of hair or trying to steal a bauble. Of course, she wanted to spend time with Julio who was still doggedly ignoring Dan’s soft eyes while he held the young baby. Julio’s youngest was entering ‘toddler’ territory now, and everyone knew how much Dan loved his family and children. It was only a matter of time honestly, considering Julio adored his children despite swearing he was done.

Steve cornered Bucky near the window while Mrs Young cooed over Neila. Grinning, he nudged Bucky to the fire escape, slipping out the window with a quiet giggle. It was getting warmer, but still cool enough where Steve leaned into Bucky.

“Hey.”, he purred, slipping his hands underneath Bucky’s shirt to rest against his bare skin, content to touch. “I love you.” For all the fuss and denial of before it was so easy to say now.

"Hey." Bucky parroted back, wrapping his arms around Steve's shoulders and nuzzled the side of his neck. The sentiment was radiating from Steve's scent before he even put it into words and Bucky inhaled deeply to soak in the adoration.  
"This is where it all started." Bucky remembered fondly. The first time they met had been in the hallway, but it didn't count because they didn't connect over Bucky criticizing Steve's lack of scent suppressor. God, he'd been an idiot and lucky Steve had still talked to him afterwards.

Steve laughed quietly against Bucky’s chest thinking about how ‘it’ had started between them. How Bucky could still sit there and be attracted to him after Bucky had seen him a crying ball of snot and hormones he didn’t know. He’d met Bucky at the lowest point in his entire life and somehow Bucky still wanted him.

Steve nuzzled close. “I..I want to bond, whenever my heat or your rut hits,” At this point it was anyone’s guess who would come first and push the other over the edge.

”I want to be your mate. Have our family. Our home. I want _you_.” He could feel it in his bones. Bucky was it for him, the mate he’d always feared never existed because life wasn’t like fairy tales...or it hadn’t been, until now. 

"I want to be your mate more than anything...can't wait for us to bond. It's gonna be amazing." Everyone had heard about it in school and later from friends who did the final step. Bucky remembered how the bonding was described as absolutely mind-blowing, which sounded like multiple orgasms on an emotional and physical level. That's obviously not the reason you did it, but Bucky wanted Steve to feel what words couldn't begin to describe. 

Bucky had found his other half when Steve was still hurting from his past relationship. He wouldn't go as far as saying Steve had been a heap of shards that Bucky managed to glue together again. No, he'd merely smoothed the edges and slipped in between the cracks to make himself a home. One he wanted to return to every day. 

Bucky knew they were in their honeymoon phase, that they wouldn't always be lovey-dovey. There would be fights, because they both had attitude and flaws, but he believed nothing could truly get between them.

It was hard sometimes for Steve to not think of himself as damaged or used goods. He’d hear backwards comments on how Bucky was so good for ‘taking them in’, since Neila wasn’t Bucky’s and Steve wasn’t what society expected out of a good Omega. Sometimes it hurt, and other times he rolled his eyes and smirked at the ‘polite’ smiles and told them to stick it where the sun don’t shine. Because Steve had worth in this too, even if he lost track of it sometimes. He’d helped Bucky during a low point as well, God knows he fussed over the big idiot constantly. This was a _partnership_ , one that they were still working the kinks out of but it was good. Better than he ever thought possible. 

“You think you’re gunna survive being in my head?” Steve teased, tiptoeing to kiss the underside of Bucky’s jaw. One of his favorite places. 

There were parts of the bond that scared him. It wasn’t like scenting which were hints and subtleties. This would be getting extra vibrancy in his own brain. Another burst of emotions and awareness. Bucky always there in a corner of his mind. Then again, Bucky kind of was anyway. They were terrible at lying to each other, even if they’d been obtuse as hell before. Bucky was never far from his mind anyway, so at least this way they could call each other on their bullshit. 

"M'not afraid of cobwebs." Bucky remarked with a shit-eating grin, which quickly turned the brush of lips into a warning nip of teeth.

"I'm sure it's gonna be overwhelming at first...feeling twice as much and sometimes not the same, but I like sharing them with you.", he added on a more serious note. Bonding was different from a traditional wedding, where you exchanged rings and vows. It ran deeper, because there's no possibility to stop the connection once it was established. 

They'd feel the weight of loneliness in the back of their mind when they're apart. Had to deal with second-hand sorrow and anger. There's nothing they could hide from each other anymore, complete devotion and Bucky felt surprisingly ready. If he had doubts he wouldn't have agreed to the bond in the first place.

"I'll make sure you won't regret your decision.", he assured Steve, claiming his lips in a heated kiss, teeth tugging at his mate's bottom lip.

“Big softie.” Steve hid warm cheeks against Bucky’s chest. Bucky’s devotion never ceased to ruffle Steve’s feathers. He couldn’t believe a good man like Bucky Barnes had found a mate in him. He didn’t doubt Bucky’s love for him, not anymore, not after everything, but it was still a point of awe. Maybe one day he wouldn’t feel so undeserving, but for now he was happy to count his lucky stars. 

A wickedness flickered in Steve’s eyes, and he craned a little higher.”You going to enjoy making me your Omega?” Another sentiment he’d only voice with Bucky, because he’d be damned if he was anyone’s kept womb. But he liked enticing Bucky sometimes, making him growl or be a little rough. It reminded Steve he wasn’t breakable, and that Bucky wanted him. Wanted him and didn’t give a damn who knew it.

"You're not allowed to use that word outside of sexy times.", Bucky complained with a small growl when Steve expertly pushed his buttons. 

Steve broke into a fresh laugh loud enough he had to stifle his giggles against Bucky’s lips.”Sexy times? You fifteen-year-old.” He teased even as a deep-rumbled purr thrummed from his throat. 

The both looked a bit flustered and probably reeked with arousal when they returned inside before they ended up defiling the fire escape.

Julio might have teased them they shouldn’t plan on kid number two so soon, but Steve only grinned. Their friends would forgive them for stinking up the place a bit, the apartment already smelled of them and then some. 

Admittedly, Steve was torn about what to do about their scents. He didn’t want to go without Bucky’s scent again, and he didn’t want to go back on scent-blockers either. Maybe he could take the ones like Bucky did to mute it a little, but he’d found comfort in it after so long without. Who the hell said a natural function of their bodies was ‘uncivilized’? Still...he didn’t want to move away from the community here either. He was going to have to talk to the landlord, not to mention clearing it with their neighbors on the third floor, but Steve hoped it would work out.

By the time everyone left, cleaned up, and Steve fed Neila again before bed he’d completely forgotten about Bucky’s saucy promise from the courthouse. He was more than happy to curl up in the bed, intent on reading a little to stay up until Bucky got out of the shower. He was asleep before the water even shut off. 

That didn’t stop him from unconsciously leaning into Bucky’s embrace once he joined him in bed, soft purrs mixing with sporadic snoring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've decided to end the main story at this point and turn it into a series with a big smut bonus!  
> Thanks for all your kudos & comments ♡


End file.
